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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

who *isn't* ashamed to admit using formula?

635 replies

LookingForwardToSummer · 30/04/2008 11:42

feeling crap after reading the 'exclusive breastfeeding' thread! i find bf really hard and have set myself the target of 5 months, i intend to feel very proud that i went that long and then use formula happily! i can't be the only one! all the stats show low bf rates - so where is everyone?

OP posts:
bringmesunshine · 30/04/2008 12:05

oh and op, ignore all the threads which suggest that using formula is the devils work they are terribly dull and would mess with your head if you took any real notice

hurrah for formula!!

CountessDracula · 30/04/2008 12:07

I'm not ashamed
I only used formula
I couldn't breastfeed

dizzydixies · 30/04/2008 12:07

mrsboo - run, I can hear the villagers and their pitch forks and flaming sticks coming for you will tell them you were never here

smallwhitecat leave him to it, my dd2 stopped drinking her milk when she was ill and now I can't get her to take any at all

auntyspan both of mine were big babies and I remember looking down at them and what size they were at about 6/7 months thinking what on earth am I doing here

I do think that maybe the EMCS didn't help with dd2 but who knows

hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 12:08

Where does the feeling of shame come from?

I'm fascinated by this.

expatinscotland · 30/04/2008 12:09

i don't see what the problem is with having elective csections or epidurals, either.

it's so hypocritical. a person would come in for some serious slating if she judged a women here for having an abortion or a termination for genetic disease, but there's all sorts of judgement for having elective cs's, epidurals, using formula and 'not even trying' bf, etc.

if you're going to say a woman has a right to do what she wants with her body than that either applies across the board or not at all.

VacantlyPretty · 30/04/2008 12:09

Message withdrawn

bringmesunshine · 30/04/2008 12:11
hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 12:12

I can speak for me and how I felt when I was told I "had" to give formula to my newborn baby in hospital (I didn't do it, but I felt crap), but I'm not sure my thoughts on it will be taken the right way, especially on this thread.

smallwhitecat · 30/04/2008 12:12

This reply has been deleted

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auntyspan · 30/04/2008 12:13

I was made to feel like shit - I'm afraid - by the midwife. When I told her I'd given DD a bottle, she muttered something about "ruining a virgin stomach" and "health problems". I was hugely vunerable at the time and she made me feel like I had failed

But now, with a gorgeous healthy DD she can shove her "virgin stomach" up her arse

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 12:14

I did feel guilty when I stopped BF-ing my DS. I'm sure it contributed to my PND. I certainly will never put myself under that sort of pressure or allow any midwife / HV or other person to make me feel like shit again.

PuppyMonkey · 30/04/2008 12:14

I'm not ashamed I used it all. Thought the thread title was a little in jest because that other thread is sooooo smug!

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 12:15

Ditto to MWs and HVs giving me conflicting advice and their bloody opinion all the time. I will just hum very loudly and drown them out this time around.

expatinscotland · 30/04/2008 12:16

Same here, MrsM!

After two rounds of AND/PND and going for a third, I'm done with guilt.

My family and my relationship with my babies has suffered because of my illness and now, this time, I'm determined, I will do whatever it takes to reclaim myself from this disease, to enjoy my baby and my family and my life, and not feel any guilt whatsoever about it.

expatinscotland · 30/04/2008 12:17

Actually, my community midwife here is brilliant!

I mentioned all this at the booking in, obviously, it's all over my records how I have struggled with AND and PND and she even said, 'Let's play it by ear and focus on working to keep you healthy.'

Too right!

As one psychiatrist pointed out on here, untreated AND leads to low birth weight as it is.

sarah293 · 30/04/2008 12:18

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hunkermunker · 30/04/2008 12:18

I'm not judging anyone, Expat.

I'm interested in why women feel the way they do about infant feeding.

And instead of going, "Lalalalalala don't let anyone make you feel guilty, lalalalalala" [fingers in ears] I'd like to do something to help women to breastfeed, if that's what they want to do.

Fewer women with any reason to feel guilt then, see? And a wider network of women breastfeeding.

But it won't get done whilst the "lalalalala" brigade are shouting about women's rights to do whatever they want - because they are spectacularly missing the point that women want to breastfeed and aren't given the support to do so...largely because of the "don't mention infant feeding stuff to anyone in case you make them feel guilty".

It makes me very cross indeed.

Disenchanted · 30/04/2008 12:18

I did. Im not ashamed at all, but I would not say Im proud either.
I had a hard time of breastfeeding, but I did TRY both times.

I am pregnant and am not sure whether to try again this time or not.

firsttimemama · 30/04/2008 12:20

Gave it a brief try - for about 12 hours - didn't like it. Used formula. No guilt whatsoever.

MrsMattie · 30/04/2008 12:21

Good for you!@expat. Totally agree, it's much more important to enjoy the experience of motherhood than to get fixated on feeding. I feel like the first few weeks of my son's life had a big black cloud hanging over them - my 'failure' to breastfeed. Never again. I'm going to enjoy it this time.

bringmesunshine · 30/04/2008 12:21
Disenchanted · 30/04/2008 12:22

Good for you Expat

PuppyMonkey · 30/04/2008 12:23

Hunker, can I just say how nice it is to see you on a thread again!! Where did you go??

MissingMyHeels · 30/04/2008 12:23

I'm mixed feeding and not ashamed at all. However, when I tell HV, MW and friends this I often get a pitying look. It doesn't bother me but I can see how it would bother people.

AitchTwoCiao · 30/04/2008 12:23

i just don't believe in all these judgey people, i think that's such bullshit by and large.

i'm not ashamed of having used formula, but i was, actually. but you get over it, when you give yourself a break and realise that you were just doing the best you could.

i'll fight like fuck for better support if there's a next time, and if that support doesn't help me then i'll give up without feeling guilty. it's when you're swimming around not knowing if you could have done things differently, that's what kills...