why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

[mehdismummy]

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

yes definately find someone else who is doing or feels the same about bf as u do.Gives you someone to laugh about funny comments or looks you may have received...I feel lucky that I had the choice to feed as long as we wanted.Circumstances could have made it very different...Attitudes in other countries aren't all as strange as here.Less hurried with formal education etc.You've barely got them out of the wrapper and someone wants to know what preschool they're down for!

What VeniVidiVickiQV said Mon 21-Apr-08 18:33:10 - but disappointingly Honeydew didn't answer.

DS (2.5) calls it mummy's milk or 'swap'

This thread couldn't have come at better time for me. My son is 2yr 3m and still breast feeds - morning and night because thats all i let him now, but would feed all the time if allowed. I'm ready to stop now but always hoped he would self wean - this doesn't seem to be happening - but i'm so fed up with the shocked / horrified / embarrassed looks on peoples faces when they find out that he is still bfing. Even my own sister is constantly on at me to stop, but as many of you have already mentioned it's not that easy. Thankfully i have a completly supportive husband, so it looks like ds will be having mummys milk (as he calls it) for a while longer. I am interested in any suggestions for weaning off though that don't involve lemon juice or vinegar on the nipples as i read about on one site...!

Have just been reading some more of the comments on here and just had to say how great it is to finally feel normal and ok and actually very proud to be an extended breastfeeder! I don't know a single other mum who breastfed for longer than 6 months and was beginning to wonder if you were all just a myth made up by over eager health visitors!!

I would be interested to hear how many women who continue breastfeed after the initial 6-12 months are in full-time employment? Whatever about the difference in social attitudes between developed countries and developing countries, I would have thought the biggest differentiating issue was the fact that most women in the UK go back to work after a period of maternity leave, whereas in developing countries this isn't the norm (either because the economic situation restricts employment opportunities or women aren't protected under the same discrimination laws).

I went back to work when mine were 6 months old, full time after DD1, dropping a day when she was 18 months, then 3 days a week after DD2. I expressed mid morning and mid afternoon, and went to the (onsite) nursery to feed them "from source" at lunchtime.

Monkies

DD is 21months now and i'm not working-really doubt i'd have been able to keep going if I were (especially as she has marathon 1-1.5 hour feeds morning and night but usually shorter in theday)

She doesn't say much yet but makes a sucking air in noise for her 'milkies'! That coupled with pulling at my top can get very funny looks

I went back to work fulltime when ds2 was 7 months and continued bf until he was 26 months. I tried expressing at work, but soon gave up as it was too stressful. Picked up from nursery at 4:30 and fed him on the way home and then on-demand until I left for work again. I don't really see any problems at all with bf once you return to work, although obviously you cannot feed at work. I found it amazing how my body adjusted so that I still had lots of milk for during the day at weekends and holidays when he wanted some during the day. He did go through obsessive periods wanting my breasts out all the time and lovingly kissing my nipples and pulling down my jumper for me after a feed. Had my MIL seen him we would have had our inheritance a lot sooner

my ds kisses my boobs bye and says bye bye milk! Its so great to see so many mummys bf. Well done to all

mehdismummy - lovely thread. Haven't read it all yet, but I'll try. I breastfed DD1, initially intending to feed her 'til she was 6 months or so. Fed her until she eventually weaned herself off at 2y 2m.
Now feeding DD2. Imagined I would feed her for about the same length of time, but at 2y 6m she's still breastfeeding. My close friends are supportive, but only one is still breastfeeding, like me. I do get comments from other people if I happen to mention it, but don't let it bother me. I don't feel as if I'm feeding for my benefit -I would happily stop now, knowing that I have done my best for her, but I am also happy to carry on for a while longer.
A few months ago, she was still feeding 5 or 6 times a day, and I started to feel that she would never want to stop, and that I would eventually have to make her go through 'cold turkey', which I didn't really like the thought of. Recently, however, she has been feeding less frequently. She feeds before bedtime, in the morning and if she hurts herself or is upset. This morning she slept late () so I got up before she came into my room, and she didn't feed - first time she's missed that one. Personally, I would only actively stop her feeding in time for her starting school, although I anticipate she'll have weaned herself off long before that.

I fed dd1 until 2y 3m she sort of gradually lessened feeding and then refused to feed again after I started feeding dd2.Dd2 is now nearly one and still guzzling away,I am quite happy to continue-I have no idea why it is so controversial,but I have found the cut off point is around the six month mark-prior to that hardly anyone is shocked to see you feeding,after that the comments on weaning start and eyebrows raise.Actually my MIL was one of them even though she fed DH until he was 21 months.On another tack-no periods yet,so no PMT.

The other thing I meant to say is that, despite feeding my own girls for eternity (one till 4.5, one still going at 3.5 as I said before) when I have occasionally seen another mum feeding a toddler it does look really odd! It is something that we're just not used to seeing other people do, even when you do it yourself!

I am doing 4 long days at work. DS feeds morning, when I get back and night, feeds as normal on other days. It's only been a month but so far no problems. He is 1.

Hi! New to this website so forgive me if i make a mess of posting. Still BFing 10month old son, wanted to get to 6 months then leave it up to him to decide when to stop (but definitely before he starts school!). Dont know if I dare to admit it here but I am a GP (not the most popular group of people here) & had minimal training on breastfeeding. TBH, I dont think anyone really knows enough about it until they've done it, so although GPs can give you facts about it, only the ones who have actually breastfed their own babies (and all the female GPs I know with children have breastfed, so honestly we are supportive of it) can give real practical advice about it. But people have asked about iron/ breastfeeding. Babies' own iron stores start to run out at around 6 months & not produced adequately in breast milk. Not a reason to stop breastfeeding, but if baby not getting formula/ iron-rich food, its a good idea to use an iron supplement (drops available from chemist). Hope that helps.

hi and welcome daniel! I think you do a great job! Most gp are fine. The two who i did see who were negative re bf were sadly women. One who had dc so i dont think its lack of training just ignorance tbh and in their cases even they did not agree etc they are professionals and should keep prejudices to themselves as i am sure you dont push bf on people and dont make a deal out of ff. You will be very welcome on here! If you sit on the health topics you could go private!! Well done for still bf btw

Welcome danielsmumlor

this link is a good one which discusses iron stores vs the need for supplementation in a breastfed baby.

You can test for iron deficiency. For many babies it is too early to start weaning at 6 months. ds2 was one of those babies. He was more or less exclusively bf until 14 months except for the ocassional biscuit or dry toast. tested for iron deficiencies at 10 months and then at 14. No deficiencies found. I think its really important for health professional to have more confidence in breastmilk.

hi. Em308 I fed my DD2 till she was about 2 years and 3months.Originally I'd thought a year would be good and then I imagined her moving on and self weaning as she got stuck into eating and drinking everything else...For me I was definately ready to stop by then and its so hard if you want to stop and you realise they show no sign of EVER giving up!!Frustration was starting to creep in as the thought of ending something so special in a fit of screaming.It brought me to tears sometimes(in the middle of night).I know this sounds like an over the top hippy thing to do but I was desperate so I tried it...I read it in a book.Get together collection of photos of your toddler doing bedtime routine... This was relevant to mine because it was bedtime that she would pat my boob and say "purleeeese" with a big grin...So we made a book for her with pictures of her cleaning teeth,having bath,story etc with a few words on each page.Not so much that she'd loose interest.It ended with her having a CUP of milk,cuddled up and showed her sleeping in her bed (supposedly all night!).Then showed her sitting in her highchair in the morning helping pour out cup of milk because she was a big girl now... Its only about 7 pages.We used to read it nearly everynight.She started to ask for it (sometimes still does).Then after reading it for a bit I went for it and just said a gentle no and brought a cup to bed instead.I offered that in the night when she woke.The first night she was really pissed off but I think the book helped coz she new what was happening and why (u can't explain it in the middle of the night coz they're not listening!)After that it got better and then she started to sleep better because she wasn't waking all the time for the boob.I couldn't believe it...I could leave the house in the eve occasionally and my DH could provide all the support nec if she woke instead of a phone call with the sound of a SCREAMING baby in the background!Phew....Babies are so diff because my first barely made a grumble stopping at 1 yr...

sorry for that,must practice being brief...

My copy of "How Weaning Happens" arrived today. We have been trying the never offer, never refuse technique, but ds thinks that his luck is in and is feeding more! This really makes me think that he's not ready for weaning at all and that I will just have to be patient waiting ttc no2.

Will update once I have read the book. It may be some time as I don't seem to have a lot of spare time....

Thanks for that post Flowernat. i'm trying to nightwean and your experience is very helpful.

Don't hide behind the evolution/primate argument or any other bleeting crap that keeps people justifies in seemingly otherwise unjustifiable actions. If you want to BF your child then BF but accept that it's more for you than him and that you enjoy it. There's nothing wrong with it but people are polarised by it. personally I hate to see a small baby with a massive bottle in it's mouth but who am I to pass judgement. Be bold and if people raise an eyebrow just say you love it and then they can't argue. If you get all sanctimoniuos about other primates you look silly and there's always something to dispute.
I actually think we have teeth so that we can ingest nutrician from other sources, but that wasn't my reason for stopping feeding at a year with each of mine it was that they were beginning to pull up my shirt and I felt to gently stop then was kinder than continue and stop later as, for me, a walking talking child ws not going to be clamped to my breast.

Posieparker. Are you saying that breastfeeding a toddler is unjustifiable because if you had my toddler I think you would feel differently. It's definately something that he needs. If you are saying that breastfeeding a toddler is unjustifiable then you have really offended me.

No, I'm saying you don't need to justify it because it's not a question of justifying.... but very badly worded.

Do it or don't do it, nobody elses business. Most people will think it's a little starnge to BF an older toddler so if you don't have the energy to defend it don't tell them, it's their problem not yours. A group on MN is a great idea though and should be a good source of support.