why should i be made to feel bad for still bf ds

[mehdismummy]

i am so so sick of getting strange looks off people because i still bf(2.3years) i dont bf in public and he only really has it at night also sometimes if he is tired or upset. He is a happy healthy contented little boy(see pics) and it really annoys me when you encounter negativity. My gp and health visitor are both guilty of the look. The final straw which started this rant was when my boss(i use the term loosely) said i should not still be feeding him. This is all because i tell him i cant go and get pissed because i bf. Anyone want to join an extended bf thread?

i do not want to get in a slanging match with you eli. This is a thread for mums that are still bf. I do kiss cuddle and give my son positive attention and he does not associate it with affection because he is kissed all the time. I think you need to do your research properly before you making sweeping statements.

ellideb, you're not well-informed about the nutritional and immunity issues, that's for sure, but in any case, with babies beyond the infant stage, as well as offering a nutritious drink, breastfeeding is a part of the relationship between mother and child - it's perfectly normal, healthy and loving, and while your preference may be not to have it as part of your life, you cannot extend that preference to making a judgement on others.

Why shouldn't a child associate a breastfeed with comfort?

Go on....why not? As you say, it is one of a range of ways of giving comfort and sharing communication, anyway, not the only one. Why would it not be on the 'list' of ways a mother might soothe and communicate?

Aha, I thought tiktok might show up. Don't take her on ell, she knows everything there is to know about bfing.

Anyhoo, the average age that women worldwide stop bfing is about 4 or 5 is it not??

btw. You do still pass on immunity in breastmilk. It also helps with independence. Its also helps when a child is ill because its usually the only thing they can keep down. My ds was out of hospital four hours ahead of his peers because immediatly after his op he had breastmilk which he kept down. Whilst other dc could not keep anything down. Agree with daisy. Are boobs were meant for feeding not as you probably think as sexual things please before you post again google extended bf and read allthe facts first

"They are not gaining anything from your breast milk in terms of nutrition"

"at that age [2+] their own immune system is fully functioning"

you do know those two statements are incorrect, don't you?

My my ds is only 18 months & I already get the 'still feeding him ' look. In my circle breastfeeding to & beyond 2 years is completely the norm, so I'm always surprised when I come across people who are shocked by it.

I was breastfed until I was 3, I expect I've got a while to go with ds yet (& should this pregnancy go well I'll be tandem feeding).

LOL at the prologing babyhood idea - hilarious! My kids are walking at 10 months, feeding themselves well before 18 months, incredibly outgoing, sociable, confident & determined little souls. I'm very lucky

Neither do I want to get into a slanging match with you either mehdismummy. Why would you feel that I wanted to?

MN is an open forum and I am sharing my concerns. If you read my post properly you will see that it is not a sweeping statement but is something I have thought about quite a lot with regards to the reasons why people BF their toddlers.

I do not think you should be made to feel bad about your decision, it is your choice afterall but it is not that common in this country to do it at the age your child is and that's why people react the way they do. It puzzles me as to why you and other women feel the need to BF their children at such an age?

anyway forget her girls. Tiktok has been here! On our thread! What do your dc call it? My ds use to say more! He now says hiya milk! And waves!

because eli you obviously do not know any of the facts regarding extended bf. And btw the reason its not the norm in this country is because women are made to feel that is something you should hide because of the reaction of people like you. Tell me when did you stop bf?

As I've said I cannot understand what a toddler gains from BF that he/she doesn't from their diet in terms of nutrition. There are plenty of nutritious drinks/food available that provide a toddler with everything they require to be healthy.

A toddler does not need extra immuntity from breast milk. They have a fully functioning immune system FGS.

My concern is the parent 'not letting go' and allowing the child to be a child. To develop emotionally as a child. By keeping the toddler at the baby stage.

There was an interesting talk about this some while back on television with a mother who was still BF her child at 4yrs old and the GP, whilst supportive of BF, had raise the concerns that I have raised, and pointed out the nutritional/immunity facts so my information is correct.

They do BF older children in other countries, that is true bandofmothers but these are countries in the developing world, where their diets are far from nutritious therefore there are obvious benefits to continue BF til a later age.

Obviously it is a worldwide medium and includes the underdeveloped countries too, which bumps up the average age, but I think you'll find that there are also people in the developed countries that bf their children that long too. I knew several women in the States who bf til at least 3, and here too (UK) I have known women bf for longer than 2.

'It puzzles me as to why you and other women feel the need to BF their children at such an age'.

Well I don't choose to bf my dd. She chooses to still be breastfed. She is 2.2, and will most likely be allowed to continue until she doesn't want it any more. Dc2 is due in October, and still allowing dd to bf is a good way to help her not feel pushed out by the new baby. That's a better reason to continue that any I've ever heard for forcing her to stop against her will (all of which have been based on pure ignorance btw).

ellideb - regarding the 'not letting go' - how could you force a child to breastfeed when they didn't want to or weren't interested?

I have heard a lot about mothers forcing their children to remain babies. I guess because my dd is still less than a year old, I wouldn't have the foggiest idea how to do this.

Could you explain this further please?

I think when you see these documentaries with 7 or 8 yo children coming home from school for some "bitty" it is getting out of hand, but I don't think 2 to 3 yo is too old, and the milk is still better or at least just as good as cow's milk and free, so why not???

FYI a child's immune system is not fully functioning until the age of around 6 or 7.

Dr Hilary Jones, to whom you refer, came out of that interview looking incredibly stupid btw. There was lots of discussion about it at the time, which you might like to go back and read in order to better inform yourself.

my ds thanks very much is developing very nicely . Have you actually read the other posts or any of the who info? You still have not said how long you bf for?

ellie, stop digging yourself a hole. Go to the links provided and inform yourself. Breastmilk is always a nutritious drink and it retains a role in immunity - neither of these properties is essential for good health in a developed country, but that doesn't mean they should be ignored. There are many foods and drinks which are not essential - I mean, broccoli is not essential, but that doesn't mean an adult (or their child) should avoid broccoli because you can stay healthy without it.

There is no evidence to back up the odd notion that breastfeeding arrests emotional development - none at all. If you can find any study at all that shows this, then feel free to post it here.

I guess your info is based on the GMTV programme with Dr Hilary Jones a few months ago? And you think because a TV doctor expressed an opinion, it must be true?

You are naive as well as ill-informed

why shouldn't western children be allowed those benefits ellideb? Why shouldn't they have all the nutrients, vitamins, minerals in their mother's BM that is tailored exactly to their requirements, until such times as they chose not to need it any more.

mehdismummy you are making assumptions about my reaction to BF mothers. I have never reacted to anyone BF their child and nor would I. If you are so determined to do it then why the hell make a fuss of peoples reactions to it?

If you read my posts properly you would see that my reasons are nothing to do with how it looks, or as one poster suggested, seeing breast as a sexual object, but more to do with the why?

Well done mehd for still feeding him. That's lovely. I fed my four into toddlerhood. My last stopped a few months ago at 2.5 - the earliest.

However I did allow myself to drink alcohol once they got properly onto solids and I don't believe it did any harm.

But your boss is a wanker and it's none of his business.

ellideb could it be because bfing is so intimate and so much between mother and child that no other fucker has any right whatsoever to pass judgement on it in any way shape or form?

Just a thought.

Why does breastfeeding continue, ellie, you ask?

It's clear - because toddlers enjoy it a lot, and mothers are happy to provide this form of comfort and communication.

As a bonus, it's a healthy drink.

What's not to like?

can i join in? although ds2 is way too young for exbf yet at 3 months, i bf both dd and ds1 til 2 1/2 and loved it! i tandem fed too, as there's only 20 months between my eldest 2. i wasn't really aware then of all the medical arguments for ex bf, i just knew that i didn't want them to stop! in fact, when ds1 stopped feeding, i couldn't quite believe that would be 'it' and i would never feed a baby again... and was proved right when ds2 came along! there's no better way f comforting a toddler after a fall, or making them feel better when they're ill (or stopping them getting ill in the first place for that matter!). it's a wonderful wonderful thing that we all do!