was this a stupid thing to say?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

my cousins just had her third baby, baby is a week old, when talking to my mum after mum had been to visit, mum said the baby was going every three hours, and that she got to have a cuddle after the baby had been fed.

when mum said the baby was being bottlefed, i said oh thats a shame, mum got quite annoyed with me.
i would not of said that to my cousin or aunt or anything.
and now im wondering if i was out of order saying that.
please be honest, i won't mind if you say i was, i just thought it a shame

I was bottlefed aswell. I just hate these threads I tried to breasfeed but just got left with my ds screaming the place down it was horrible. Then my hv words where you arent really giving him the best start in life .

No no no I am all for ff my two were both ff thats what im saying it isnt going to do any harm ff . That is how ff mums are made to feel crap

I was made to feel crap for ff when I fed ds in public, but also heard the same people slagging of a woman who was bf.

Some people have nothing better to do unfortuantly.

You only have to look at all the threads about people making horrible comments about breastfeeding mothers to see that there are hideously judgemental people in all areas of parenting.

laughalot, your hv was an insensitive idiot. I think you'll find that all the people on this thread are probably angry on your behalf. There are people here who devote huuge amounts of effort into making sure that people don't get treated badly like you were.

I'm really sad you were made to feel bad, and that you got no support for doing what you wanted to do, ie bf.

Threads like this - they are not about making people feel bad. There are some very kind people here who would love it if all women had the support and information they needed to make whatever choice they want. The facts about risks of ff, well, they are hard to read about when you haven't got a choice any more about how you feed. It's not a good idea to dwell on things like that when you can't change the past. So it's probably a good idea to give threads like this a body swerve for as long as the hard facts are a bit painful to read.

But it's still important to have threads like this, to make sure nobody else gets bad advice or information. If you were making a big decision in life, you'd want to know the truth first, before you made that decision, wouldn't you?

You should NOT blame yourself or feel bad in any way for ff. Nobody judges you here. I'm sure you're a fantastic mum.

Thanks verylittlecarrot im sure if I had received the support I needed I would have given breasfeeding a good go. I can remember the hv leaving that day and I looked into my ds eyes and sobbed thinking I was such a bad mum but you know what the second time round I dident care what she said.

I went through similar laughalot.

Bloody HV need to be trained in compassion

"By edam on Mon 31-Mar-08 15:40:32
Typical moondog - make an outrageous, judgemental, patronising statement and then bugger off while everyone else argues about it."

I nominate that for quote of the week

I'm here though!

My cousin has just had a baby. My sister went to visit her tonight. She is bf but ....

She was sat smoking while breast feeding!!

Blooming hell!!!

Who said that?

Nah, I'm just remembering the last time you made a scorching remark. Something about "peddling" "junk" or something.....?

Moondog, you do need to learn when to keep a lid on it sometimes. I think you are great, and have a lot to give, but you do fuck it all up by saying something stupid and then (eventually) coming back and being all arrogant about it.

It only takes one - just one - of those kind of comments to be read by a handfull of folk to have to spend weeks, nay months - maybe even years convincing someone that not all pro b/feeders think in the terms that you do. It's so very tiresome, and it could be time better spent giving meaningful advice and posts, rather than combatting falsehoods based on comments such as the one you made earlier. It's one of the reasons why Hunker has branched off and isnt coming back to MN anymore.

i enjoy hearing moondogs views personally

at your cousin kay ! did anyone say anything ?

hunkers left MN?

bugger me - hunker isn't coming back? Are you serious?

That is AWFUL. Seriously VVV - is that right?

keep up people

Point taken VVV.
I won't take responsibnilty for Hunker's departure though.
FFGS. What next! Moondog to blame for rising bread prices and Mugabe's refusal to resign??

soaring petrol costs?

Northern Rock?

Yup and that too.
All down to me.

No Robin my sister didn't say anything. I personally don't think she could think of anything.

My cousin kept telling my sister how she was doing the best for her dd by bf!!!

Verrylittlecarrot
"Now formula is not harmful "to your child".
That's great. Lucky old you." your retort to me, is then followed by then I am contributing to millions of ff babies bein fed formula, and all the problems it brings because of my one comment of "not a harmful alternative", but...

posted by laughalot "No no no I am all for ff my two were both ff thats what im saying it isnt going to do any harm ff" sorry laughalot dont wanna drag you into this just proving a point.

According to you lc, I am brainless, undeserving of my attainments, for making the same comment. Beginning to think you have issues with me, not my ff choice. Because if you were having a fair a and balanced discussion you would also call laughalot brainless, would you not?

f@@@ing hell kay, i would of choked on the smoke !

that is outrageous!

I know, but she gave up for the 9 months she was pg.

I dont know if I'll be able to keep my mouth shut.

kay, i don't blame your sister, i wouldnt of known what to say either

i hate smoking anyway, id rather get a pile of £20 notes and burn them,which is what smoking is anyway

kay, if she gave up for 9 months when Pg, wonder why she started again?