was this a stupid thing to say?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

my cousins just had her third baby, baby is a week old, when talking to my mum after mum had been to visit, mum said the baby was going every three hours, and that she got to have a cuddle after the baby had been fed.

when mum said the baby was being bottlefed, i said oh thats a shame, mum got quite annoyed with me.
i would not of said that to my cousin or aunt or anything.
and now im wondering if i was out of order saying that.
please be honest, i won't mind if you say i was, i just thought it a shame

"yes yes i agree the health issues being beneficial, But my feelings are this, formulas are a great feeding method and is not a harmful alternative, just an alternative."

Stealth, I have reposted this 3 times now, to answer you question.

as for rude, it seems because my opinion and choice differs, I am to allow lc to tell me I obviously dont care, please as for my so called rudeness to you lc, i said get of your high horse, and messiah complex, one is a scientific term and one is a general term, I think again, in order to feel solidarity people are playing "lille ol me!" cards, please! grow up.

I will bid yu all farewell, this is utterly pointless.

Swmum, thank you for support and intelligent views they have been refreshing to hear.

but if breastmilk has "benefits" then surely formula has "risks"
It's just another way of saying exactly the same thing

no, formula has benefits, added vits for example, so if am to go with your analogy, ff is better because it has benefits?

Honestly gotta go, my dc,s are a calling,

ok

swmum, good to see you on here. Can I ask what has made you change your mind about bf. On a ;;www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1364/497602?fm=10075074#10075074 previous thread]] you had decided to keep and open mind and thought you would give bf a go. I am just wondering what made you change your mind in favour of ff from the start and has anything you have read on here made you think twice? Or has it sent you the other way?

(I ff from 6 weeks (though not by choice) by the way, in case you think I am being provocative. If I was forced to get off the fence I would say that from the evidence presented, breastfeeding is preferable to ff but that in no way means that I think ff is wrong.)

oops previous thread

I've just given it loads of thought towfalls and come to the conclusion that ff will work better for me and my family.
I really did struggle with the guilt issue at first because it that's how society makes us feel when we don't bf in my opinion. But the more I think about it the more it seems like the best option for lots of reasons.
And loads of my friends and family keep telling me about their positive experiences of ff.
Also while I accept that there are benifits to bf (see I do listen to the research!) I don't think it outweighs the benfits of ff for me personally.
It's very hard to say for sure when you are on this side of things. I'm not a mum yet and I don't have experience.
What I do feel very strongly about is choice and not frightening women unnecessarily.
But thanks for taking an interest in my views. I'm not a militant one way or the other I'm just very pro choice for everything - be it feeding, sleeping or whatever.

Cola Cubes: I think you were pretty glib about my comments regarding the public health problems that has been caused by mass formula feeding.

I don't think cock waving your 1st in Psychology is actually that impressive. You need to get out in the real world.

You have obviously never seen anyone suffer horribly from gangrene which is so bad that rotting flesh can be smelt from metres away and seen them lose first their toes, then their lower leg, then their knee and then the upper part of their legs in sucessive operations as a result of diabetes.

I have, it's awful. I don't want to frighten people. I had difficulty feeding my baby and gave him formula in hospital, but with support, breastfed and am still feeding 2 years later. If I couldn't have fed him my milk, I wouldn't feel guilty about formula feeding because it would have saved his life.

I would not willingly subject a baby to the increased risks associated with formula feeding because I have seen the impact that these health conditions have on people.

swmum, what are the benefits of formula feeding for your family ?

Benifits are that dh can feed him and that it won't all be down to me all the time - be that bf or expressing. Also I personally - and this is just me - think ff will be less tying and more managable. I know lots of people think bottles are a faff but I really don't.
I don't have any kind of weird boob hang ups or phobias I just don't like the idea of feeding him myself. I know leaking boobs, feeding in public etc would really get me down.
There you go - if I'm the worst mum in the world then so be it!

So the time taken to breastfed a baby is unavoidable the mothers job but you are happy for all the hassle of bottlefeeding and the risks of formula, as you might be able to pass some of this additional work onto your husband ?

Have you considered mix feeding i.e.mainly breastfeeding and get the husband to feed a odd bottle of formula when you need a break, might work out about the same work balance but with better health benefits ?

Of course it will not make you the worst mum in the world. The very fact that you are thinking all this shows you are not. I still stand by the fact that you may feel differently when the baby comes along and you really you don't have to made a decision now but I can see that you have pretty much decided.

I suppose from my point of view, as someone who really wanted to breastfeed and who felt so awful reaching for the bottle (and not because of society but because of my own feelings), it is hard for me to understand why someone would make the choice not to give it a go when "giving it a go" would not cost anything at all. Switching from bf to ff after a week or two is easy but it is pretty impossible to do it the other way around. That is not to say I am judging you for it, not at all. Just trying to understand.

(Also, coming from someone who has done both, bottles are a much bigger faff. Believe me

Cola, the 'added vitamins' are in formula because the processing removes them. Formula is skimmed cows milk, and fat-soluble vits A & D are taken out....so they have to replace them afterwards. It's not a 'benefit' over breastmilk.

Sheesh.

tiktok, give up. There's no point trying to construct your argument out of facts.

Swmum - I think you do have issues...you have been brainwashed conditioned to think breastfeeding in public is wrong you have some naive idea that your husband will take an equal share of parenting whilst you can carry on as normal. It's the picture that formula companies love to portray.

Now, you as a woman have boobs, these are made to feed your baby. Not bottles, not tins of processed cows milk.

If your husband is one of those men that likes to help out, great, let him give your expressed milk to your baby, but don't be sucked into using formula because you think it will mean that you will have an easier life. It simply isn't true. Nothing can be freer than breastfeeding because you can feed baby wherever you are. Your boobs are always clean and free from germs, the milk is always warm!!!

Wow Cola. Vitamins.
What does breastmilk have in it?
Ponies?

at Stealth!

It is a tad frustrating, I agree!

yes but formula has added fortified extract of ponies
it's all scientific you know

swmum, I'd add your dh can help a zillion other ways to care for your baby...don't fall into the trap of thinking it's great to ff because that way he can feed the baby while you get on with the ironing/cooking/cleaning (a scenario I have seen many times...and the men get the Brownie points for being so helpful )

Caring for a baby is more than getting milk in - and your dh can do a lot of it.

agree with tiktok, I used to envy my friends who could just feed in bed without having to traipse up and down the stairs to warm bottles a couple of times a night. I would also add that be wary of falling into the trap of thinking a ff baby will settle into a better routine and go through the night earlier. I was still demand feeding dd every 2-3 hours for quite a few months and she didn't sleep through the night for ages (at least a year) when a lot of my friend's bf babies were only feeding every 4 hours and sleeping through. She was the only ff baby and the last to go through the night.

I only figured out the feeding lying down thing a couple of months ago
I really wish I'd learned how to do it earlier

"I don't think cock waving your 1st in Psychology is actually that impressive. You need to get out in the real world."

Blah blah blah, it is lo who keeps papping on about sci, I have used my degree to show i understand science, i suggest u re-read. As for the real world, I have seen it, I live it everyday, I am not a child, I am a grown up with a mind of my own, which seems to be a bone of contention on here.

As for rotting flesh, ffs, but we must refer to you as you have diagnosed swmum as being brainwashed, must be some kind of cow & gate cult!!

As for girlfrommars, if you notice the statement to which I responded you will see it is an example of a messed up analogy, not a statement of ff over bf, which you will notice I have not commented on, I have only defended my choice throughout, please try to keep up.

I would like to suggest that you may like to re-read the comments from the majority of bf mums who condem ff, and then try to find the ones that condem bf, I think you will see, that there are rather a stroppy bunch of scare mongers on here today.

You didn't say it to your cousin. We all talk more frankly when there's no risk of hurting somebody or causing a scene!!

Sad that your Mum feels so guilty after all this time that she leapt down your throat!!

No one condemns formula feeding

People want decisions to be made based on full unbiased knowledge of the risks.

That's all

Guilt, for what ff, how would you possibly know that, Madame, I am afraid that your comment although, late in the day has been the straw that broke my back, although I would like to add Madame this is not intended for you, just another mindless comment about ff being guilt ridden.

I can only assume you all live in caves, use no chemicals, processed foods, dont drive, dont fly, dont use mobile phones, plastic bags, swim in the sea, dont injection your children with synthetic chemicals, because if you truly are all the things you say you are regarding science and its guidance on these matters, I really cant see how I could argue, but your not are you, you just choose your cause and ignore the others.