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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Did you choose to bottle feed and why?

352 replies

Alexandersmummy · 15/01/2008 22:34

I am currently 40 wks + 5 days and want to bottle feed, as I did with my first but feel under increasing pressure to breast feed from midwife. I was just wondering if you bottle fed did you feel this pressure and how did you cope?
I know all the good reasons to breast feed but it's not for me, I feel uncomfy with it.
I'd really appreciate any comments!

OP posts:
Elasticwoman · 26/01/2008 21:28

No Jingly you were very wise.

Divastrop · 26/01/2008 21:36

i must have gone wrong somewhere,i was ff but still did all the night feeds(and day feeds)and ended up leaking for 9 weeks,and my boobs are even saggier...if i'd have known that was how it was going to be i may well have given bf a go

Elasticwoman · 26/01/2008 21:44

Diva do you mean you thought you would have more beautiful boobs if you gave bf a miss?

MommaFeelgood · 26/01/2008 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 27/01/2008 09:52

Ok, Divastrop (hoping i've got the right person now!), i realised after i'd gone that your comment was not intented to be malicious, but i was too tired to fess up!

Sabire's comments annoy me personally btw, because i had more reasons than the ones previously stated to FF DD3 from start, including the bleeding when i tried BFing my twins, and the total lack of even an offer of support from anyone to carry on...and this was while i was still in the hospital! I honestly couldn't give a flying feck that she nobly carried on in the face of adversity - i had/still have more problems to deal with than one that can be adequately and simply solved by buying formula milk.

Yes, i know it's not ideal, yes, i know there are risks. Fortunately i minimize them by providing an alcohol/smoke-free environment, keeping DD at the right temperature, using feet to foot and laying her on her back (still!) etc, reducing risk of SIDS. She is on cow's milk now, at 13m, but since the start her bottles and dummies have been kept scrupulously clean, and she has a very healthy diet - i did the same for my twins. Can everybody who breastfeeds say the same? I doubt it! Because one descision in parenting DOES NOT give you the measure of that parent as a whole does it, which is what Sabire's posts, intentionally or not, have consistently implied.

Rant over.

BabiesEverywhere · 27/01/2008 10:04

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek,

I suspect you encountered the same kind of unsupportive support I got. I was told that ladies like me, who had a bad experience, can't breastfeed.

Although I did manage to establish breastfeeding in the end, it was due to me eventually finding a very supportive breastfeeding group (not the one I have been recently moaning about) on the other side of the country.

I am guessing that Sabire's comments were meant to show that with the right support it is possible to overcome great difficulties but many mothers (and we both fell into the same camp at the beginning)have no support and are practically walked to the formula bottle, which if you want to FF is fine but if you wanted proper support to breastfeed that is terrible.

In my personal case my mother has always talked about failing to feed me herself, which she didn't fail in any way, she loved, cared and successfully FF me and I grew up healthy. But she feels guilty at going against what she wanted to do though lack of support and I didn't want to add that guilt to my own feeling of failing in the birth department.

I am sorry that neither of us got the support we needed in hospital, as that is simply not fair.

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 27/01/2008 10:26

TBH i didn't even try the second time around, i had visions of bleeding nipples before DD3 was even born!

Actually Sabire's last posts weren't bad. And i'm glad there's still some diplomacy left on here, BabiesEverywhere, because some of us need our foot-in-mouth disease kept in check!

BabiesEverywhere · 27/01/2008 10:38

QUOTE TBH i didn't even try the second time around, i had visions of bleeding nipples before DD3 was even born!

As I am currently having nightmares about a second labour,I do understand.

The strong pull to run as far as possible, to avoid a repeat of a terrible experience is totally understandable. It is not fair that due to lack of inital support, you were made to feel that way in the first place.

Once we have had a bad experience we need a lot of very good support to help mums overcome lack of support first time around.

...though in my case I have to find another solution, as labour is not avoidable...worse luck

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 27/01/2008 10:41

You could always ask for a CS

(tongue very firmly in cheek - just in case anyone posts in outrage!)

BabiesEverywhere · 27/01/2008 10:47

LOL, No way, They did suggest it, but that is my ultimate nightmare.

Anyway hijack over, all the best with your babies

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 11:05

AM - at the end of the day how you choose to feed your baby is entirely up to you and if you choose to BF then so be it

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 11:10

I find it very upsetting to hear of women who feel pressurized into BF when they have already said that they wish to bottle feed. Having spoken to many women, it suprises me when they tell me of their stories and comments that have been made just because they have chosen to AF.
To me 'baby friendly' should mean that and only that, surely if a mum is happy then a baby will be happy regardless of how it gets its milk.
I also believe that more advice re- AF should be given by health professionals and information not given on the hush hush or behind closed doors.
Please, i totally understand why breast is best on the many women it is but i dont think anyone has the right to judge or try to persuade ones choice to bottle feed.

Sabire · 27/01/2008 11:30

"Because one descision in parenting DOES NOT give you the measure of that parent as a whole does it, which is what Sabire's posts, intentionally or not, have consistently implied."

No they don't. That's just what you've chosen to read into them.

It's the sort of accusation that's often leveled against people who raise concerns about formula feeding - that you do this because you lack compassion or the ability to take a long term view of parenting choices.

I think if you read back through my posts in fairness you must be able to see that I've not said or implied that whether you breastfeed or not is the sum total of your worth as a parent. I'm not stupid or callous - I know parents generally ALL do the very best they can for their babies, based on what they're physically and emotionally able to do, and the information that's given to them.

My concern is about the information and support that we're given in relation to this subject, and the way we undermine each other by constantly suggesting that the solution to breastfeeding problems is simply to stop breastfeeding.

If women are given non-evidence based information or no information at all about the differences between ff and af (as so many are at the moment) how can they even being to make an properly informed choice? And how can they realise their choices if they're not supported by people with the right skills?

I think I made my point quite clearly about what I was trying to say in relation to my PERSONAL experience of overcoming breastfeeding problems - maybe you skimmed over that particular post.

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 11:35

but how can women make that choice when health prof aren't 'allowed' to talk to women about FF?? Even when a women has expressed her wishes to FF, she is still given info on BF, how can that be informed choice????

PuppyMonkey · 27/01/2008 11:43

..just like u obviously skimmed over the op Sabire!!

She said: "I know all the good reasons to breast feed but it's not for me, I feel uncomfy with it."

So why harangue her into changing her mind? Waste of your time, waste of her time!

There's lots of other posts on here where women are asking for help with bf cos they genuinely want to try it and need support from those with experience. Why not be more useful and u try and help them continue? I'm sure it would be a better use of your vast knowledge on the subject! I know you obviously mean well, but this is the wrong thread for u!

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 11:49

as i posted earlier, formula feeding and breastfeeding are inextricably linked as they are the two most common ways of getting nutrition into an infant ( i know some people have to use soy etc....)

you cannot make a choice to do one, without discounting the other, for whatever reason

therefore a thread about formula feeding has to have reference to breast feeding, problems within that area, education and support etc.....

if people have managed to overcome:

feeling uncomfortable about feeding

cracked nipples

mastitis

thrush

etc.....

and been able to establish and continue breastfeeding, why should they not post that here. especially if their experience is one similar to the OP

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 11:52

why does a thread about FF have to turn into a lecture on BF??

PuppyMonkey · 27/01/2008 11:56

Yes, Lulu, 11 pages of posts so far!

And yet there are half a dozen threads on this section with people asking for help bf that only have one or two pages of comments.

All I'm saying is, wouldn't you be more useful helping THEM?

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 11:57

i don;t see anyone lecturing

i see long, well thought out , well researched posts about breast feeding

and as i posted , FF & BF are linked, like it or not

and FWIW , i FF both my children, something i deeply regret now, but it was down to lack of information and support .

Lulumama · 27/01/2008 11:59

puppymonkey, i have only made a few posts on this thread

i am not an expert on breastfeeding

if i feel able to help or offer advice on a breastfeeding issue , i will do

i do not have to keep away from threads about formula feeding just because there are lots of comments on it and less on a breastfeeding thread

constancereader · 27/01/2008 12:06

AFORBF - many of the people posting on this thread have helped LOADS of women on this site. I am one of them!

If you read through the thread you can easily see how the discussion came about.

constancereader · 27/01/2008 12:06

(one of those who were helped I mean)

Sabire · 27/01/2008 12:11

Puppymonkey - I'm not 'haranguing' the OP or anyone else for that matter.

My posts were in response to the general discussion that has opened up about both breast and formula feeding in this thread. That's the way these things work - yes, there was an original question and there were some specific responses to that, but then a wider discussion developed, and it was in response to points made in OTHER people's posts that I was commenting.

AFORBE - you're mistaken that HP's aren't 'allowed' to discuss bottlefeeding with mums. They can and they do. What they're not supposed to do is 'teach' how to make up bottles to groups of parents in antenatal classes - basically because research has shown that parents don't retain this information well enough and that they need to be shown one to one how to make up feeds after their baby is born. They're also not supposed to make specific recommendations about what formula to use - basically because there's not sufficient independent research on this issue available to them to enable them to give unbiased advice.

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 12:12

surley if a women needed help deciding what way to feed then that would be the thread title. Not everyone who has decided to FF needs to be told about BFing.

AFORBF · 27/01/2008 12:15

Sabire - what then happens to women who go home, unable to sterilise bottles suffiently or know how to make up bottles and end up with with poorly babies (a bit far fetched i know but)
I am a HP and have been informed that if when asked a women expresses her wish to FF i must tell her the beneifts of BF , not how to FF