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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Did you choose to bottle feed and why?

352 replies

Alexandersmummy · 15/01/2008 22:34

I am currently 40 wks + 5 days and want to bottle feed, as I did with my first but feel under increasing pressure to breast feed from midwife. I was just wondering if you bottle fed did you feel this pressure and how did you cope?
I know all the good reasons to breast feed but it's not for me, I feel uncomfy with it.
I'd really appreciate any comments!

OP posts:
hercules1 · 26/01/2008 16:04

Oh I disagree about the doctor thing. Lots of doctors are ignorant about breastfeeding.

MommaFeelgood · 26/01/2008 16:11

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Lulumama · 26/01/2008 16:18
Divastrop · 26/01/2008 17:09

mommafeelgood-i had a similar lightbulb moment on a ff/bf thread a few months back.

excellent post.

tori32 · 26/01/2008 17:17

Divestrop I know that I would have known if my dd was sleeping through the night after 3wks regardless of whether it was dh or myself doing the feeding because we tend to talk to each other!

tori32 · 26/01/2008 17:19

FWIW my DB slept through the night from 4 DAYS old! That you would not forget, first night at home and not woken in the night to feed the baby.

Divastrop · 26/01/2008 17:24

fair enoughif i am wrong about the troll thing then of course i will apologise.

now for some reason the name 'claire verity' keeps popping into my head.cant think why...

PuppyMonkey · 26/01/2008 17:24

Sabire's posts "measured!" I think not!

unless by measured, you mean "long and ranting!"

You ARE a strange cliquey lot....

pelafina · 26/01/2008 17:52

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VictorianSqualor · 26/01/2008 18:37

CLIQUE ALERT!

Some people on here may be well-versed in the facts and figures on breastfeeding but from what I have read, which happens to eb the whole thread I would say that thank goodness they can at least keep their manners about them, many of the peopel arguing with (or rather slagging off) sabire and tiktok seem to be rude in the extreme.

mhmummy · 26/01/2008 19:16

Sabina's posts contain good and useful information which have a part in this discussion. They are not 'long and rambling' - just explanatory.
The bottom line is that everyone has a different approach to the level of sacrifice they make for their babies. I would have preferred not to have gone back to work part-time when mine was 7 mnths - but I could have got a cheaper, smaller house paid for by only one salary if I was prepared to make that sacrifice (I wasn't). Some people have babies and aren't prepared to make sacrifices over feeding - and it is a sacrifice sometimes to have to sit down for 40 minutes every hour and a half to breastfeed (as it was for the first few weeks), meaning nothing else could get done and that for long periods it's just you and the baby. And that's why FF is so much more appealing at that stage - you can be anywhere, doing anything while you bottle feed and you're just not as trapped. I didn't always love being pinned to the sofa for hours on end with my baps out, or getting up exhausted 3 times a night (although that bit only lasted a couple of months), but I guess for some people it's just too much of a sacrifice FOR THEM to go down that road. I'm not a perfect mother in any respect but the point I'm trying to make is that we all choose those areas where feel we can cope a little more - and for some, lack of sleep (for any amount of time) isn't one of them.
And I know that some people can't physically breastfeed - I'm just very grateful I wasn't one of them as I really benefited from it.

mhmummy · 26/01/2008 19:18

And I meant to say, it was bloody painful for the first 3 weeks and I'm glad I stuck it out ... it was well worth it.

VictorianSqualor · 26/01/2008 19:18

mhmummy, you could always be really lazy and sod the sacrifices, co-sleep, babywear and you too can feed anywhere

Looby34 · 26/01/2008 20:06

MumtoCharlotteMay - (from Mum to a Charlotte Amy !)I wish we could chat in peace about what happened to you as my experience was much the same. Please know, I hear what you're saying, I fully understand, we have nothing to feel guilty about but you'll feel worse when people on here tell you that they had a bad time too - but they continued to feed. Or that some people are prepared to make more sacrafices than others for their children (?!) My advice to you is - don't get sucked in to trying to get your point across - as I have. Theres no point. This is my last post on this thread.

helibee · 26/01/2008 20:17

i just wanted to say that i breastfed for 3 months with the occasional top up feed as i didn't produce much milk and then my ds weaned himself off of the breast. I desperately persevered but he was having none of it and so i started ff all the time.

I am on pain medication for my fibromyalgia so i was relieved in some ways to not be passing on this medicine to my son(the docs said it should be ok to bf but they didn't know if there'd be any side effects from medication) Thankfully my ds was ok whilst i bf but i was always worrying.

Anyway it's great if you can bf but my friend produced no milk at all and she was devestated to have to ff but her dd1 is very healthy and happy and she is pregnant again and hoping that with baby no 2 she won't have the same problem.

clur79 · 26/01/2008 20:30

I wanted so much to BF my son, but I had a traumatic birth, was so ill and couldn't get the hang of it in hospital. I had no support to continue by DP or midwives, as he started to become unwell as well so everyone said FF him. I did and had no idea I could continue BF at home.

I felt so bad once I had recovered and realised, but by then my milk had dried up. It took me al ong time to get over it, and I wish I had someone close to me who supported BF but everyone I know FF.

With my next one I am determined to BF as I do feel strongly.

Having said all that DS is healthy and happy, and I respect everyones own choice.

clur79 · 26/01/2008 20:31

I think what I meant to say is that as long as your choice is informed and you are happy/comfortable with it, then don't panic.

StarlightMcKenzie · 26/01/2008 20:36

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Aloysius · 26/01/2008 20:45

I chose to bottle feed my first two, and am going to do the same with the third (due in March). There is immense pressure - 'they' even write 'artificial feeding' on your green form like it's a hanging offence. However, as I didn't look like I was in two minds, no-one ever challenged me directly. Personally, I too never really felt comfortable with the idea. I could NEVER have done it in public and see those parts of the anatomy as reserved for other things ! Maybe, I'm very poorly adjusted. It's your choice and do what you want. Life's hard enough without making it more difficult.

StarlightMcKenzie · 26/01/2008 20:51

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Spoo · 26/01/2008 20:52

Haven't read all the post but just wanted Alexmummy know that I bottle fed both mine. Tried two days breast feeding with first but felt very uncomfortable about it all. It is YOUR decision. My mws were very supportive. IN hospital with DS2 I was asked how I was planning on feeding. I said bottle and they went to fetch one for me with no further questions, so really do NOT worry. Does anyone question those parents who take their toddlers into MacDonalds??

welliemum · 26/01/2008 20:52

mommafeelgood, what an excellent point. I've caught myself wanting to "shoot the messenger" on childcare issues too.

FWIW, I don't think "sacrifice" is a very good term to use here. I think it adds emotion without really adding meaning.

For myself, I think of the energy you have to care for a new baby as a bit like money in the bank. You can spend it on all sorts of different things (your choice), but nobody has unlimited energy. Sooner or later you will have to make some hard decisions. Everyone will make those decisions differently.

For me, breastfeeding was such a high priority that pretty much nothing else mattered in the early days. It meant I had to ditch some other things which were important to me, and cut corners in ways I wasn't happy about. But it was my choice and I feel that I was lucky to be able to make my choice my way.

Some people have less energy to "spend" because of lack of support, other children to look after, depression, tiredness - the list is endless. Some people have loads of support and that means they can do more.

Some people find bf very easy and can do that and juggle all sorts of other demands. Some (like me) really struggle and successful bf takes a huge toll.

I was supported by brilliant DH, it was a top priority (so I kept going when another person might have decided it wasn't worth it), and I was just plain lucky that it came right (some people work just as hard as I did and still don't manage).

It's not a moral issue and I get very angry if people insinuate that I am calling them lazy because I managed to bf despite the difficulties. Yet this is exactly what happens when people use their own experience to point out that difficulties can be overcome.

StarlightMcKenzie · 26/01/2008 21:06

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welliemum · 26/01/2008 21:15

I'd also like to point out that my determination to beat the odds and bf wasn't some sort of random obsession. It was the direct result of an extensive review of the scientific literature about breastfeeding, formula feeding and health.

I believe, passionately, that every new mother should have the same amount of information that I did.

I also believe, passionately, that it is up to each individual to make their own decision.

If I wanted everyone to read the information and make the same decision I did, I would truly be a zealot.

But I don't.

This is a crucial distinction and would like to ask anyone who has used the words "militant", "aggressive", "zealot" and the like to think about the distinction very carefully, because by trying to suppress this kind of discussion they risk blocking other people's access to information which may in turn have a profound effect on their babies' health.

JingleyJen · 26/01/2008 21:15

Was I just totally lucky with DH that because I was breastfeeding that he did the cooking and the hoovering and the washing?
He wanted to be doing something to help DS1 (&2) so this was what he could do to help.