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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

OH FUCK...... JARM about to send DH out for formula..... stop me!

224 replies

DanJARMouse · 12/12/2007 20:08

I know I want to BF but why the hell is it so hard? We were doing really well up until today. My left nip is sore again, but latch is fine so fuck knows why it hurts. Daniel has been attatched to me all fecking day, bar 2hrs where we co-slept because thats the only way he will sleep.

im pissed off, tired and hormotional

OP posts:
MerryPIFFLEmas · 22/12/2007 23:52

jarm that is great news
See the boobs have it in spades!

Original poster
DanJARMouse · 23/12/2007 08:18

Thanks all of you.

We had a bad night last night, Daniel didnt want to settle AT ALL, but we will get through this the same way we have got through everything else!

Just hopeful of catching up on some sleep later today if possible.

OP posts:
MerryXMoss · 23/12/2007 08:22

Hope you manage to catch up on some sleep today. You're doing so well.

DavidTennantsMistress · 23/12/2007 08:59

that's it sweetie - sleep when you can when he is and let D do the rest of the work! if you can dose while daniel is feeding on the bed all the better - I remember DS having a huge growth spurt around 3 weeks - another at 6 but it will hopefully only last a few days and then he'll settle again.

you're doing a fab job. Well done you.

Original poster
DanJARMouse · 23/12/2007 13:02

hjave just managed an hour or so but am still sooooooooooooo tired.

Really hope last night was a one off because I am like the living dead today.

IT WILL GET BETTER

IT WILL GET BETTER

IT BLOODY NEEDS TO GET BETTER

IT WILL GET BETTER

IT WILL GET BETTER

Nope, still knackered!

OP posts:
DavidTennantsMistress · 23/12/2007 13:06

it will babe you'll have fits and starts - and it's amazing how you learn to doze and feed sitting up right as well! lol. hope DH is doing everyhting else - you just eat sleep and feed for the minute,

LIZS · 23/12/2007 13:11

Kepe at it, remember formula is not the necessarily the panacea it promises to be. This should be short-lived behaviour. A few weeks ago you had no idea it could be like this and in a few weeks time you may look back again and see a difference.

MerryXMoss · 23/12/2007 13:42

Jarm, are you able to take Daniel upstairs for a nap (i.e. latch him on & both of you drift to sleep)? That way your dh can get on with the housework and looking after your other dc's while both you & ds sleep, but he doesn't have to worry about looking after teeny baby too so when you come back downstairs, everything is done.

awayinNaeManger · 23/12/2007 13:50

oh JARM! It WILL get better!!
I had a little one like this. he's my only one so I can't even imagine what you must be going through with 2 olders kids as well.
But, babe, it will get better. Right now it seems like it;ll never end, i know, but believe me it will.
You are doing SOOOO WELL! You ahev everyone on here cheering for you!

Original poster
DanJARMouse · 23/12/2007 19:07

ok, so who has tips for settling a baby that doesnt want held, doesnt want fed, is clean, dry and warm. Not interested in sling, bouncy chair or play mat....

Have finally managed to get him to sleep by bathing him and feeding him laying down, so he is sparko on my bed - i refuse to try and move him!

OP posts:
DavidTennantsMistress · 23/12/2007 19:16

do what you're doing sweetie - a bath used to calm DS down, if he's a little unsettled try keeping one end of his moses basket tilted.

how about in front of the washer? maybe a little too much stimulation around for him at the mo? (bath's helped DS relax properly)

def don't move if he's asleep - try to get some rest yourself for a minute.

MerryXMoss · 23/12/2007 19:31

Jarm, what about a walk around the house in a sling?

Although if he is asleep now don't wake him... get a bit of kip yourself if you can, or at least pull up a big comfy chair, remote control, huge glass of vino and relax.

LIZS · 23/12/2007 19:39

rock in pram ?

Original poster
DanJARMouse · 24/12/2007 17:10

Daniel has had formula today

He was refusing to feed properly all day, wouldnt latch, or if he did was off again after 1 suck. Couldnt face any more tears and stress, went to sainsburys, heh as sunk 3oz of formula

I will express like a deamon to get him back on to EBM hopefully for the majority of his feeds, and I will keep offering the breast, but his soft spot was sunken and he was really not happy, he is like a different baby now.

I feel totally shit, well and truly crap, but his well being has to come first. I wont give up completely, i refuse to - have come too far, but if mixed feeding for the time being is going to keep him well and happy, then its what i need to do.

Think it has just ruined my christmas....

OP posts:
Original poster
DanJARMouse · 24/12/2007 17:10

Sorry to all of you who have supported me this far, you have been brilliant and I have let you all down.

Sorry.

Please have a lovely christmas xxx

OP posts:
VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 17:15

JARM!! Why are you apologising?!??!?!?!?!
This is your decision to make, yours and DH's. You have not let anyone down.
Don't let it ruin your christmas sweetheart, I know how horrid it can feel, who knows, maybe a day or two off will make all the difference and you'll come back to it, if not then please, try not to feel like a failure.
You have tried bloody hard and that is what matters. Well Done for coming so far.

fishie · 24/12/2007 17:23

oh dear please don't worry about it so. it needn't be an irrevocable decision, just keep trying to bf.

i think you could do with some advice from a counsellor, not sure how likely anyone is to be on mn. have you got numbers for anyone?

VictorianSqualor · 24/12/2007 17:27

The numbers are all on my profile if you do want to call someone.

tiktok · 24/12/2007 17:34

Jarm - helplines are open all over Xmas, and people will be fine about talking to you about this, without judging (obviously).

Though it might be a good opportunity to just enjoy not being intensively involved with wondering what to do and even posting on mumsnet ....then picking things up again in a couple of days.

Nothing you do is irrevocable.

But a couple of days 'off' will help clear the air a bit, I think

lizandlulu · 24/12/2007 17:35

aww jarm, ive not read all the thread and havent posted in this section before, butit caught my eye and felt i wanted to just say something. not that iknow what to say, but i agree with victioransqualor. you dont have to apologise to anyone. or justify yourself. you have to do whatever you have to do. sometimes things just dont turn out as you expected, but its not the end of the world.
well done for staying sane,when all you want to do is go to sleep

helpmesorttheladygarden · 24/12/2007 18:52

ooh honney - please come back onto MSN if you can don't apologise for anything, and certainly don't feel crap. ytou have my number if you want to ring me any time (please not early hours thou! lol) but honestly you do what is right and best for you and daniel I know you'd love to carry on feeding but if it's really upsetting you both so much it's better to have a settled happy mummy and baby than both of you getting more stressed and upset.

you can go back to it if you chose to. please don't feel upset sweetie - you're doing all you can, which at the end of the day is all that counts.

also ring your HV/support lines as mentioned they'll hopefully help you out - maybe it's the latch - try a differnt hold.

Califraunkincense · 26/12/2007 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 26/12/2007 22:36

How is it going JARM?

How about expressing and just giving EBM at tough times?

Original poster
DanJARMouse · 27/12/2007 11:59

Well Ds is now officially formula fed. Sorry all. Thank you for helping me get to almost 4 weeks though.

I have got PND, am now on anti-depressants, saw doc this morning. Im in no position to be dealing with a 4 week old baby all on my own, I havent stopped crying for 3 days, have had the worst christmas ever and I just want to run away and leave everyone to it.

Again, Im sorry, I know ive let you all down, but fuckin hell i did well but i need me to be well more than he needs my milk.... especially as he refused my lovingly expressed stuff too many times.

All i need now is tips on stopping my boobs looking like footballs and hurting like hell.

OP posts:
tiktok · 27/12/2007 12:02

Jarm, glad you are getting proper doctor's help for the depression.

You already know it is so inappropriate to apologise to mumsnet posters!! No one here wants anything more for you than being well and happy, and well-supported at home