OH FUCK...... JARM about to send DH out for formula..... stop me!

[DanJARMouse]

I know I want to BF but why the hell is it so hard? We were doing really well up until today. My left nip is sore again, but latch is fine so fuck knows why it hurts. Daniel has been attatched to me all fecking day, bar 2hrs where we co-slept because thats the only way he will sleep.

im pissed off, tired and hormotional

(ps ds2's second middle name is Daniel Lovely choice)

Don't give up at night (the golden rule from (I think) hunker). Night time is always when it feels worse. Stick it out for tonight and re-evaluate in the morning.

And take half an hour to yourself. Give him to your DH and go and take a nice long bubble bath with a hot or cold drink of your choice or something. Half an hour won't do him any harm and will do you the world of good.

is this familiar:

feed for 15 mins
sleeps in arms
fills nappy
change
awake for 5 mins
cries
feed for 15 mins
sleeps in arms
fills nappy
change
awake for 5 mins
cries
feed for 15 mins,
sleeps in arms
fills nappy
change
awake for 5 mins

etc etc

noooooooo JARM don't do it... you will be sobbing at the sight of the formula in his mouth.. I started on the formula for Callum 2 days ago and its tears me apart.. please don't111

olive - spot on

that is my day to a tee

dh is running me a bath, i have a malibu and coke in my hand, first "drink" since last christmas....

just wish the boy would sleep....

it gets better

dd1 and dd2 used to feed every 2 hours, so by the time you had done the feed/nap/change thing, it was time to feed again

ceebeebies?

I am off to make sandwiches, put off the formula, see what tomorrow brings

Enjoy your bath and your drink!

repeat after me

IT WILL PASS, SOON IT WILL BE A DODDLE X 20

My ds2 was 5 weeks this mon and I am b/f him. He gets a f/f at 10/10.30 to give me a break and I didn' know until I gave him a bottle, about the 'eugh, what's that?' face he pulls when he first tastes the formula. He LOVES mummy milk (as both dh and I call it) he snuffles my boob, talks to it and then uses it as a pillow after he has finished and almost says 'ahhhhhhhh' as he exales in a sea of breast heaven.

He put on 12oz last week and that was mainly me, me, me.

I understand what it's like with other dc, I have ds1 3.9 who always goes for a poo when I'm b/f or wants a drink. But in their life it's such a short time, they will not be damaged by it.

I only b/f ds1 till 6 weeks and it was hell each feed.

I love the fact I am b/f ds2, it will get easier and I agree with the poster who said set yourself a target. I was only going to do the first 3 days, then first week as I was never going to b/f in public!!! Today I registered ds's birth and I b/f in the packed waiting room -get me!

You are marvelous, try till the end of the week....

Hello Jarm, my ds2 is 10 wks old and i was finding it really hard bf with looking after ds1 aged 2 yesterday. I would echo the others to not make any decisions at nighttime but (and ill no doubt be shot down for this) i would just like to point out there is a middle ground of just giving a formula top up.

Personally i was really struggling with the early evening feeds as he was cluster feeding little and often plus this was also the time for tea and bath for ds1...my DH works away also so i was doing this single handed int he week.

Got to the point wherre i was thinking of giving up bf too but have a new system where i dont feed breast feed ds after his afternoon nap (usually last feed at 3ish) then after that i use bottles, expressed milk and then formula when he's still hungry.

I then express once they are both in bed if i get chance. Since starting this 4 weeks ago i actually feel (almost) positive about bf and its the first time as i hated feeding ds1 and gave up completely at 16 weeks.

Giving a bottle is definitely quicker plus for me its the mental side of it i just feel better able to cope with the 'witching hour' of 5-7 ish if im not physically feeding. plus someone else can do it if around.

TBH have not found it upsetting to give him formula, i reckon this way he still gets the benefit of bf plus im happier so will keep going for longer rather than giving up completely.

Sorry this has turned out really long but basically if the odd bottle of formula top up makes you feel better able to cope and carry on bf longer then all well and good.

Can your DH take him out for a drive in the car? I'm assuming the girls are asleep now? I went out for a Christmas meal last year when DS2 was 5m old. He was exclusively bf, so the only thing DH could do to stop him crying was drive. He drove round and round for three hours Then you can have a quiet hour or so.

Only start on formula on a good day. Only then can you really make an informed decision. If it's any consolation, I've currently got two really sore nipples as well. I've now been bfing DS2 for nearly 18m (and bf DS1 for 22m), so shouldn't have any problems by now. But a combination of thrush from DS2's antibiotics, and him being ill so feeding continuously has done me in. It's agony. Every feed I clench my fists and count to 20, and then the excruciating bit is over. I can do it though, because I've been through times like this before, and I know it will get better again. It will for you too.

Could you /he have thrush ? May make you sore.

Thanks for the support people!

Have had a bath, DH has almost settled the boy... praying he stays asleep but cant guarentee! (sp?!)

Thrush - dont think so, MW checked him over today and said all was well.

Im just feeling down after a bloody long day.... im sure tomorrow will be better, and if not, ill be back to whinge!

I am soooooo pleased I havent had the "Just In Case" tin of formula in the house this time around though - it would have been opened tonight, i just know it.

JARM my dear
I'm the mother of 3 exclusively bf babes, the times I've threatened an alternative are numerous.
Never have, it does get easier and when you get to the easy part, you'll be glad you did

i feel much better now!!

Just need to get through tonight.... tomorrow will be a better day.

(Will be saying that in my sleep - if i get any!)

Get the baby in bed with you and nap when he does, suppose someone has already said that to you, get DH to get up with the girls tomorrow and take D downstairs too, get an extra hour.

IT WILL GET BETTER

woman you have 3 children under 4 you are already a superwoman!

DJarm - if you DARE give your little man formula, i will personally come down there and slap you up!!!! YOU (yes, YOU!) have been my inspirational thought when i am sitting here at 4am just gagging for some sleep with tears streaking my face from tiredness. I've had about 3 hours sleep in 3 days, and even tho i'm soooooo feckin' tired, i will NOT give up BF for the WORLD!!! I love the fact that i am feeding my baby - me and me alone. If my knackered old boobs and worn out body can do that, then i'm bloodywell sure that you can do it too!

Come on now Madam. Be a good girl.

I have been doing what Olive Oil said too. Sitting on the sofa all day watching Jezza/Trisha/This Morning/Loose Women/Other Daytime Shite and find it a grand excuse to be lazy!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-O-O-O-O-O-O...

Ooooo some excellent advice there MonkeyBird!!!

Brill advice from MonkeyBird.

If you need a bit of time to yuorself then damn well insist that dh gets the lot of them out of your hair for an hour at least.
Daniel will be fine.

Remember my professional recommendations to positively encourage yuor dds to watch hours and bloody hours of CBeebies?

I'd make a couple of alcoholic drinks a regular thing if I were you.I found things a lot more tolerable during those feedathons when I had a slightly muzzy head.

I hope you are sleeping right now.

Glad you said that about alcohol Moondog.

[locks formula in the cupboard away from JARM}

it can be tough going, i stopped breastfeeding dd1 at 6 weeks, dd2 at 8 weeks as by then i'd had enough, dd1 wasnt gainming weight and was getting dehydrated, HV was a pile of poop. dd2, well now i know, she was going through a hefty growth spurt (which actually hasnt stopped yet, she is now 5 and size of 7yr old sister lol).

with dd3 i was determined. at 3months old, can you remember what was happening them? dh had his first big op to fit the LVAD. dd3 ended up on formula feeds a couple of times, as i couldnt express enough to keep enough milk for when i was at the hospital. i have no real idea what happened, but i know that by being a stubborn old goat, i mamaged somehow to return to full breastfeeding once the danger period was over.

the first few weeks are the hardest. it can be tiring, emotional and bloody hard work. and at times you may feel like giving it all up. but you know how much YOU want this to work. And you know we are behind you 100% all the way.

get some new dvd's for the girls, some books, dig out some activities they havent seen for a while (cant remember how old your girls are, but beading necklaces keep my lot quiet for ages).

food, sandwiches wont kill them. beans on toast is a healthy meal, give them a picnic tea with sandwiches, fresh fruit etc.

we are here, all the time ok

Only just saw this!

Someone once told me (might've been Hunker?) when I was thinking of giving up, not to give up in the night. So I didn't, and I found magically that by the time the day came around I didn't actually want to give up after all.

I still have two cartons of formula on my windowsill gathering dust from when I didn't give up; I look at them now and they remind me what a stubborn cow I am!

yes agree that Monkeybirds advice is sound.

i have often gone to the toilet with no intention of actually using it except to sit on and read, or just breathe in the silence for a cfew mins. Dawn French said in an interview that she often goes and lies in the (empty) bath, with a pillow and a book and some chocolate.

The feeding time is also a great time to just sit and relax, I am lucky DD2 was a great feeder and didn't really ind being constantly interupted while I got up and did things for DD1. She used to camp ont he boobs ALL evening, and I mean 6 or 7 til 11, every evening til she was about 4 or 5 mths old and started sleeping more.
It is horrib;y tempting to givein some nights when you are nodding at 4am, and know you can't go back to sleep for another half hour or more, but you will be so proud of yourself for bfing your little boy and in a year we will advise you on how to get him OFF the boob

Thanks all.

I managed a little bit of sleep, but the boy was a pain in the bum and had me up a lot despite being awake a lot during the day yesterday.

Im still trying to weigh up the guilt of ignoring and neglecting the girls and the guilt of not BFing.

I dont really know what to do, all i do know is that im knackered and my girls hate me at the moment.