Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

[FireworksScareMossyPets]

Thread for those of us whose los are:

• Healthy
• Meeting developmental milestones
• Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
• Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
• Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

Well done AM, and your ds - wow at 10 steps

I'm so pleased for you on the weight and well done on the waking, that's fantastic.

Totally agree on some health profs contributing to the anxiety. Huge congrats on not letting them effect you.

My cousin sent me the new WHO growth charts for breast feed babies. It has been a revelation for me. I was so relieved to see that on these new charts my little girl is not far off the centile line on which she was born. Since I saw this I feel so relaxed about her weight. I can see how crazy this is, nothing has changed but you get so concerned about these darn charts.

Anyway, all the best and I'll message you if I hear anymore on the launch of the neocate product.

Can I join?

My baby is 6-1/2 months now, exclusively breastfed (save 3 or 4 bottles of formula in early days), and I started offering her finger foods this week since I've moved back from Singapore to London.

She was born a month early (raging preeclampsia) and weighed 5 lbs. She lost a fair bit of weight (something like 15 percent) in the first week but as breastfeeding settled she began to put on weight and she did quite well. Then the weight gain slowed down and by 6 months or just under, she weighed about 13 lb.

Now Singapore doesn't have HVs so I saw a paediatrician for each visit and she was positive about breastfeeding and said that while my daughter was on the small side, she was doing very well and there was no need to top up.

But I had anxiety after she was born and it found a home in breastfeeding and weight. I was hypersensitive to the many comments from strangers (one pregnant woman even asked me 'what was wrong with her') and I found that I settled into a pattern. Every four weeks the anxiety would slowly rise, then peak -- and I've spiv out a bit. Mr Bonkers was lovely, telling me that it wasn't a prize marrow contest and that it was better to get the breastmilk and be slight, than have formula just to be the 'right' size. I even worried that I'd be stunting her growth by continuing to breastfeed...

It didn't help that Chinese culture prizes fat babies and lots of people formula feed to excess to achieve this.

I didn't now about centiles (never had ante natal classes) until about 3 months in. She was born on the 20th or 25th and I think is now on the 10th. She's around the 50th for height and head circ.

I am much more relaxed about it, but now have to think about weaning. I didn't tell my Singapore paed I was planning to do BLW and she just said start her on purees when I got to London (4 days ago).

I do realise with BLW that calorific breastmilk is her main food for a few months more AND that purees aren't that calorific.

But I'm confused as to what I should do. BLW because it fits with my parenting style (but may not be best for her)? Or purees because at least she'll be getting a wider nutrition base right here right now.

I don't normally ask random people on the Internet what to do, but mumsnetters seem on the whole such an intelligent and sane bunch, I thought I would.

BLW (and maybe still fret about her weight at the back of my mind) or purees?

Welcome dorisbonkers to this thread and back to London, you may find you fret about her weight whatever method of weaning you use.

What part of London are you in? I expect not here (Haringey, N London) but mumsnetters might well be able to help you find good local groups to go to. For example, my local breastfeeding support group also gives lots of people helpful advice on other aspects of feeding such as weaning onto solids as well. The local NCT offers a weaning course taught by a breastfeeding counsellor, apparently very focused on and pro baby led weaning.

It might also be worth starting a weaning thread on this question as there are MNers who will see that and put their head in who might not see the specific question here.

hello to all on this thread
I've not been here for a long while but my LO was 'failure to thrive', HV nightmare, up and down the chart, breastfeeding counsellors, doctors, old ladies in theshopadvice thanks so much.... and at 19 months she is still alive! (and still little). Sometimes she eats loads of food, sometimes she doesn't eat any, she still bfs, can STILL be a nightmare boob gobbler at night but she is a beautiful, feisty, strong willed, strong little body (watch those abs as she swings like a monkey on the bar at the top of the slide). So for those of you in the middle of the nightmare - IT DOES PASS and then you are just left with your small, but perfectly formed, child. NO ONE KNOWS YOUR BABY LIKE YOU DO. If only health professionals could EMPOWER us to be better mothers rather than hold us in the vice like grip of their limited knowledge and flawed personality traits, we'd all be a lot better off. BIG LOVE to you all.

Ah babymutha, couldn't have said it better myself . Ds is 20months now and has also is still alive lol , still small but so much energy he tired me out watching him! Sometimes he eats hardly a scrap, other times shoves food in, we're getting there!

I'll second that! Trust your instincts. If they are happy and doing everything they are supposed to be doing then STEP AWAY FROM THE CHARTS!

My dd was seen by a different consultant at outpatients the other day and instead of coming away with an appointment for some other random investigation, she just told me she looks great and to carry on doing what we are doing. I only wish we'd had her 6 months ago.

Thanks for that katyH. I did speak to my gp ages ago about him, she seemed to think he was absolutely fine and was not concered at all! I wish I'd listened to her but her voice was drounded out by all the others.

So so lovely to read other worried mum's stories! I have perfect happy and active BF 8 month old who is only 14lbs ... no matter what anyone says the worry never goes!On the positive, clothing bill has been less than I expected

Hey lisa, yeah the clothes will last you ages! . Hard not to worry but try your best, you know lo is fine, as you said yourself, 'perfect''happy' and 'active' what ore could you ask for!

Hi All, its academicmum here (under a new , not dissimilar name). I know I said a few months ago that I wouldn't be posting on this thread again, but we're still really struggling and I'm looking for some kindred spirits!

DS2 is now 21 months, still eating predominantly purées and basically refuses to eat much else. A few days ago we tried simply offering him finger food and seeing how he went on. As it was, he went 4 days with only formula (he has a milk allergy, so he's still on specialist formula) and started throwing up at the sight of food.

I'm completely at a loss as to what to do next. He's still only 9.4 kg (weighed naked), so barely above the 0.4th centile for his age. His height is on the 9th centile.

Bump. Anyone????

In desperation, bump again

UnseenAcademicalMum - assume there's no health or metabolic reason for your little boy's slow weight gain...so it's a behaviour thing, yes?

4 days with only formula is not very long to change behaviour.

This is not an area where I have much knowledge, but I do know help exists.

Try to see if you can get a referral to Dr Gillian Harris in Birmingham.

Info about Gillian Harris here and about the TV programme about her methods from a couple of years ago here

My dd was looked after by the dieticians at Birmingham some years ago (before Dr Harris' feeding clinic was established) and the advice was pretty much the same - to initially allow your child to eat what they want and to intrduce new foods very slowly. Sounds simple but it's a long road.

Have you ever seen a dietician NAM? Does ds have oral aversion?

Thanks both. He's been investigated for both physical and metabolic reasons for slow weight gain, but they have found nothing. We are therefore assuming this is a behavioural thing.

It is just so upsetting and frustrating when he refuses to eat and yes, I think he has developed an oral aversion over the time he's had a weight problem (he started out fine till 4 months, then gained nothing till 6 months by which time he dropped to the 0.4th centile and from then he's basically not been all that into eating, but in the last few months this has become far worse).

I read My Child Won't Eat!: How to Prevent & Solve the Problem by Carlos Gonzalez, which had a lot of very common sense advice, but it is so very difficult and frightening to see a child get so wound up at the thought of eating any food.

So far, the dieticians we have seen have been little to no use. (The only advice being don't give him milk products, like we hadn't figured that one out ). We also saw a psychologist who thought he may have developed an aversion because one of his earliest experiences of eating was anaphylactic shock from yoghurt, but she didn't really have much advice other than don't pressure him to eat (before he promptly threw up on her office floor ).

Thanks again, I'll take a look at the links.

I have found this thread so useful, thank you. Just wondering if there is a recent thread or if anyone would like to resurrect this one ....