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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

692 replies

FireworksScareMossyPets · 03/11/2007 16:57

Thread for those of us whose los are:

  • Healthy
  • Meeting developmental milestones
  • Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
  • Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
  • Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

OP posts:
Dalrymps · 14/03/2009 22:52

Oh no, this sounds so familiar. You are not alone! I hope the 'good day' happens again tomorrow without the vomiting...

We've had 2 good days with ds, somethings bound to happen to throw him off again shortly!

KatyH · 15/03/2009 15:20

Hello,

I feel like you two are living in a parallel universe to me! Is your ds still being sick academic? Dd has stopped being sick but is only eating tiny amounts now. Luckily we have the NG to fall back on but she's getting really upset every time I top her up and I can only do little top ups otherwise she starts gagging. It's soooooo frustrating. Do you think they are just more susceptible to bugs because they are little?

I do the toys and books at mealtime too. Usually I shovel in a spoonful as she goes to put a toy in her mouth but she's getting wise to it and has also started spitting things back out...sigh.

Still, I'm trying to get some perspective, helped in no short measure by watching comic relief on Friday. Made me feel more than just a little grateful for the NHS!

Academicmum · 15/03/2009 18:53

Hi, he was sick this morning and hasn't eaten so much for the rest of the day . Its frustrating. I suspect they are more vulnerable to bugs etc with being small.

We also do the toys/books at mealtimes too. I've found making him laugh and then shoving the spoon in whilst he's laughing is a particularly good one, but he's also just learnt the art of blowing raspberries so at a certain point all the food gets blown back oout again and I think it would be more efficient to just throw it directly on the wall/floor/table/my clothes...

Academicmum · 18/03/2009 13:55

Hi all, just thought I'd post a short message and see how everyone is getting on?

Dalrymps · 18/03/2009 20:53

Getting on ok, had a bit of progress since we dropped his milk by 2oz. Don't get me wrong, it still takes a truck load of books and toys for him to eat his dinner! He's ben eating more lumpy things and even took some bites from a plum tonight, ate about a 3rd of it then spat the skin out. He always spits the skin out when he eats fruit, he's like a juicer

He's also been trying some 'stage 3' jars even though he wouldn't entertain them before. Progress is slow but is progress all the same.

How are you doing? How's the sickness going?

Academicmum · 18/03/2009 21:32

For us, a good day. He was sick after his bedtime feed every night for the last 3 nights so was really dreading the feed tonight, but he was fine and actually ate pretty well all day .

Dalrymps · 19/03/2009 07:53

Thats great, is he ff or bf, I can't remember...

Academicmum · 19/03/2009 09:53

He's bf. My original intention was to switch to ff by 4 months (so that he was well established on bottles by the time I went back to work when he reached 6 months) but then we discovered he had a dairy allergy and the hypoallergenic formulas taste revolting so I carried on bf (with dairy free diet). He will now take one of the hypoallergenic formulas but never more than a couple of oz at a time which makes me a bit concerned about dropping breastfeeds though I'd really like to by now as after 10 months I'd quite like my body back (and the freedom to drink more than a single glass of wine in a week).

Dalrymps · 19/03/2009 10:33

Wow, you've done so well to keep the bf going. I wish I still was bf . I'm sure as things progress you'll slowly get your body back, it does seem all consuming when you're the main source of nurishment though.

Academicmum · 19/03/2009 16:59

How long did you bf for? I find it OK but ds2 never seems to feed very well unless it is really quiet so I don't find it so convenient if we want to go out (rare because we're normally too busy waving spoons etc at him). At least though he will now accept EBM from my dp when e.g. I'm at work, he just never accepts bottles from me.

I've just weighed ds2 though and put his new weight into the WHO charts. He has now risen from 0.2nd centile (christmas) to almost the 3rd

Dalrymps · 19/03/2009 18:52

Well, I exclusively bf for 5 weeks, then stopped as we were having lots of latching on/painful probs. I then restarted a few days later and spent the time up until 5 months trying to make it work. At one point he was having formula one feed, ebm one feed and bf one feed - nightmare! Anyway, by the time we sorted out the latch so it wasn't so painful he has decided he prefered the bottle . I since found out he has a slight tongue tie (which nobody noticed at the time). Since 5 months he's been on formula which wasn't much better because he then became a fussy bottle feeder... He's ok with the bottles but now food is the problem!

Thats great he's gone up to the 3rd! Ds has been stuck just above the bottom line (and before that below it) for quite some time. Well done you, you must be doing something right!

downbutnotout · 19/03/2009 19:53

Hello was wondering if missmama was still about - wanted to share that my ds put on 5oz last week, but I don't think we are out of the woods yet.

Pleased to see this thread is up and running and sympathies to those of you struggling with much older babies than mine (6 weeks).

Academicmum · 19/03/2009 21:35

Dalrymps - wow, that's real dedication to trying to make it work! With ds1 he just wouldn't latch at all and 4 days after birth he still had not fed (not even formula, as the midwives wouldn't believe he hadn't fed yet and refused to cup feed him with formula despite the fact that he was getting lethargic). He was fed expressed milk and formula for the first 6 weeks and switched completely to formula after that.

With ds2 I wanted to try bf again. I think the problem is now that because he won't take the hypoallergenic milks it makes me feel a bit trapped because the option of just switching to bottles suddenly isn't there. I think it will always be a question for me though as to whether if he started on bottles earlier, would he still have a weight problem?

downbutnotout - 5 oz, that's great. Is it just me, or does everybody else get this thing that it makes the whole day better when you have a good weight gain day? Its like WeightWatchers in reverse.

Dalrymps · 19/03/2009 21:55

Downbutnotout - Don't know if she is but that's great your ds gained 5oz . I think the younger they are the more worrying it is. I'm sure everything will be fine, it does get better, honest. Keep us up to date!

Dalrymps · 19/03/2009 22:08

Academicmum - Sounds like you had quite a struggle to bf with ds1. at the midwives not believing you about him not feeding!

I understand you feeling trapped by being the main feeder, I remember that feeling still even though it was only for a short while and was a while ago.

At one point most of his feeds were bf, his weight gain at that time had slowed and I was made to feel by the hv it was my fault as I mustn't have been feeding 'properly' or something.I saw a lactation consultant and she said all was fine.

If it makes you feel any better, once I gave in to their pressure to ff more and the pressure from ds being increasingly fussy at the breast, his weight gain was absolutely no different at all on the formula. In fact, even when he went on to the first high cal formula he tried (90cals/100ml instead of 60ish cals/100ml) his weight gain hardly budged.

We had to put him on an even higher one (120cals/100ml) before he started very gradually moving up the chart.

I suppose the only thing I can advise is that this exclusive bf is just a phase and it will pass eventually and you will get your body back. Hard to imagine right now I know. As you know with the lo's they change all the time, i'm sure it won't be long before you work out a way for him to take milk in another form to free yourself up a bit. I know it's an obvious question but have you tried the ebm in a cup with a spout? Just an idea if he won't take a bottle from you...

Academicmum · 20/03/2009 08:00

He will take a cup with a spout for a couple of oz, although yesterday he actually refused one 'direct' feed but took 4oz of the hypoallergenic stuff from a beaker (but then projectile vomited about half an hour later so I'm still not sure whether this was a reaction to the contents of the beaker or not). Normally however if I try to get him to take his feed via bottle/cup etc he has reached the age where he pulls down my top and points to his favorite boob...

It is awful though that your HV made you feel that your lo's weight gain was your fault. I bought my own baby scales to keep an eye on weight gain and stopped going to see mine. Life improved immeasurably after that!

Dalrymps · 20/03/2009 09:39

He sounds very similar to my ds . Ds will still only drink his milk from a bottle, he takes juice/water from his cup fine but if you put milk in it he sucks it then spits the milk down his chin

He is still sometimes fussy with the bottle too and we have to give him a distraction to play with whilst he drinks it. Usually this comes in the form of dh's mobile phone playing music.

Yeah the hv is totally annoying, I see her as little as possible, haven't seen her for ages now. I get Dylan weighed either when I see the paediatrician or the dietician, that works out every month or so.

She has been totally over the top about everything to do with ds since he was born, has worried me sick as a first time mum. At one point he had been referred to physio (not crawling at 11mo), speech and language therapist (swallowing problems that didn't exist), moving pictures program run by 'child mental health' (for behavuoral problems and help with parenting - woman who ran the program took me off it as she said we were doing nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with ds that requires child mental health to be involved), paediatrician (this was because, despite him being totally fine in every way, he was a small eater with high energy and had dropped over 2 lines on the chart), and the dietician (to check i'm feeding him properly - again, dietician stated I was and recommended high cal milk as it was just the case he doesn't take in enough food).

I've been here there and everywhere with appointments . At the end of the day ds has a small appetite and was small when born so it's hardly surprising he's not on the 99th centile is it?!

Anyway, that was a lot of waffling. What I was going to say was that when I was having bf problems my hv had been calling my bf/lactation consultant behind my back and discussing how many feeds a day ds would take. They kept telling me to give more more more feeds but he simply wouldn't take them, of course they wouldn't believe me this was the case and just acted like they thought I was lazy or something!

Then she called to say that the lactation consultant had advised giving more formula. I told her I wasn't willing to do this as this would affect my milk supply and I was trying to get him off formula by bf more not the other way round!

Anyway I finally gave in as I felt like they were blaming me for his poor weight gain. Then, when he was fully on formula my hv said to me 'oh, well we thought his poor weight gain was down to you having bf problems before but it's the same on formula too'

I was upset by this as it implied that 'they' had been discussing me and my 'problems' and it confirmed what I had thought all along, that they blamed me! It also annoyed me as I had stopped bf and it was nothing to do with me anyway!!!

Sorry for the rant

ImSallyIHaventAClue · 20/03/2009 12:09

Hello, just noticed this thread has reactivated

I was posting on it a while back about my DS (now 13 mo). He was born 91st centile but dropped to the 2nd centile over first 6-8 weeks (EBF) and stayed stubbornly on 2nd centile until he was weaned. I was SO worried about him.

In retrospect I can see this must have been due to bf problems, as he started "catching up" as soon as he was on 3 solid meals a day. Now he's somewhere around the 50th centile I think.

Just wanted to express my support for everyone going through weight gain issues. I still bear the scars of that time - one day recently he didn't eat his lunch at nursery, and so I rang the next day to see if he'd eaten his lunch that day - and the nursery worker said "no he didn't eat it but he's hardly going to waste away, is he?" That really gave me pause because even now he's caught up growth-wise, I still worry about how much he is eating at every meal. However, we've noticed that when we worry about what he's eating, he seems to pick up on this and actually eat less. Also, he invariably eats more at nursery than he does at home. Whether this is because he burns off more energy, sees the other babies eating, or doesn't perceive himself to be under surveillance as he does at home, I don't know.

To mums of younger babies - don't lose heart, weaning may well sort them out.

To mums of older babies - hang on in there... and FWIW, from my experience nursery can sometimes actually get them eating more than they would eat at home.

elkiedee · 20/03/2009 14:30

Hi all

Congrats on the weight gain downbutnotout

Am feeling a bit despondent today as have just been to see HV and ds2 was weighed - he has gained but it's still slow - 130 g in 10 days. Otherwise he seems healthy and alert and no one has raised concerns about anything else but I think I'm going to be pushed into giving him more top ups again. The thing is at his last weighing he'd put on more weight in 5 days with only one top up in the first night of that period, than he had in the previous 7 before that on about 3 top ups every 24 hours.

Academicmum · 20/03/2009 22:12

Dalrymps, that is awful that the HV thought it OK to behave like that. I would have been really . With mine it was more just that she was as much use as a chocolate fire-guard and didn't even want to refer me to the GP to get ds2 checked over when he had not gained weight in 8 weeks, she just kept saying "oh well, no gain this week. Never mind he looks happy just bring him back next week", then after the GP and eventual paed referal came the little comments which just seemed to have no purpose other than to undermine my confidence, general crap advice and making me feel guilty. If I were in your shoes though I'd be really tempted to make a complaint. It really annoys me these HCPs who think they are demi-gods.

Dalrymps · 20/03/2009 22:50

I know, she's a total areshole. I would complain but it's in the past and she's not worth my time... Yours doesn't sound much better, the total opposite with referrals to mine! They both seem good at undermining confidence also. I think the thing that most annoys me about mine is that I get the impression she thinks she knows ds better than me. I've lost count of how many times I told her he is always on the move and has more energy than other babies. She would jsut reply with 'well they all do at this age', then I would repeat 'but he's always been like that, exeptionally so' and she would just give me a blank look as if I was mad

I'm not going to see her again unless I absolutely have to. She was over critical of him at his 12 month review too. He's actually quite intellegent and she made him out to be a moron casue he couldn't do exact things that were on her 'list'.

I must stop talking about her, she's too annoying

One thing is for sure, I won't make the same mistake again. We know our lo's best!

downbutnotout · 21/03/2009 11:08

Blimey, it seems like hvs are fecking eejits countrywide!! Mine is no bloody use either, but I am now taking fenugreek as that was about the only advice she had.

Thanks for the kind words dalrymps, academicmum and elkidee. Sorry you are feeling down elkie - personally I would hold out against the top-ups as experience here seems to confirm that with some children ff makes little difference to the slow weight gain and could affect bf adversely. I know what you mean about the pressure though - dh's entire family's reaction to my worries is "Give him a bottle!" Btw, my ds was born on feb 3 too!

Academicmum · 21/03/2009 13:46

I think complete incompetence is part of the job description for HV's. I also don't understand the pressure to FF. Do they think there is something magic about bottles or formula? I was even advised at one point to stop BF, express and give all feeds frm a bottle. I mean, why? what good would that do apart from take all day expressin.

downbutnotout · 21/03/2009 14:07

Oh and I also wanted to thank sally for the support - every little helps especially when I'm not having a good day. Glad to see this thread active.

downbutnotout · 21/03/2009 14:08

My hv is reknowned locally for her totally tactless statements and the little questionnaire she gives you at six weeks to decide if you're postnatally depressed - god, she's clueless.