Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

[FireworksScareMossyPets]

Thread for those of us whose los are:

• Healthy
• Meeting developmental milestones
• Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
• Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
• Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

ah they're ok think he just got bored so decided to bite wasn't actually bleeding though. Impressed tht some women have that & carry on feeding anyway

Phew! Am I glad to see you guys!

What a great idea for a thread, and very timely for me and my lo. Am in my final push of pulling all the stops out to get some weight on DD after my HV gave me her "very considered advice". In a very stern manner to give her a bottle of formula.

She is 16 weeks, born on 98th centile, now is between 9th & 25th. Took her 6 weeks to put on one pound, queue feelings of hopeless inadequacy. Spent a good portion of today in bed babymooning. (And shouting to DP "I can't! I'm making milk!" when he wanted something. Got away with it too!)

I've read loads of threads like that where babies seem to drop to their 'actual' weight
No need to give formula (unless you want to!)

lovely to see this thread. I swing from being really happy when I look at my DS and thinking my supply is fine. To panicing that he is too thin and that I have crap supply.

He reaches the developmental milestones sleeps through the night is happy well most of the time. I think he looks in proportion has relatively chunkny legs but is skinny in body.

Have spoken to a BF counselor/NCT teacher/and my doula. She is a jack of all trades used to be a HV so really trust her opinion and she says no worries, but just cant bring myself to be completely happy with my LO's weight gain. Have not taken him to be weighed for ages as fear the HV will "speak" to me about his slow weight gain.

Looking forward to us being able to bolster each others confidence n our LO's ability to thrive without them being big chunky monkey babies.

Welcome ladies!!!

I just wanted to say that although I've no direct experience (my BF problems are myriad, but weight gain isn't one of them) as my DD is bit of a chunky monkey, I wanted to lend my support as some of you have supported me on my other threads, and I wanted to return the favour .

We're all doing a fab job...keep telling yourselves that

Awww, thanks Daisy! New photos on your profile? Luvverly!

Morning everyone and hi Julie

Hello new ladies,

Flashbangfoxy - my ds dropped from 50th to round about the 2nd, and then in the last month to the 0.4th. Have you heard of "catch-down growth"?

It's when baby is born bigger than they were meant to be genetically, maybe because conditions in the womb were just so darn roomy and comfy. Then they spend quite some time catching down to where they were meant to be, genetically speaking. They gain weight, but very slowly. Eventually they find a line and follow it but it can take quite some time for them to find their "line".

What would happen if you stopped going to weigh-ins?

Julie hello to you too; I'm sure if there was a real problem your rather impressive sounding ex HV (why are the good ones no longer in the profession?!) would tell you... you sound like you know everything is fine but just need to be told now and again, like many of us here I think.

Because even though someone tells you your lo is fine sometimes it can panic you when they are so much littler than your friends' babies.

DynamiteDaisy thanks for the support.

Molarbear, I only said that about the dummy just in case, but I don't think it's some kind of massive major factor, it's just one thing I have heard can make a difference occasionally. [smile[

Hi FSMP

Exactly what I thought, but no mention of it from the HV.

The trouble I have is that we are just so darned busy and she is so placid and content there is always something else which I can 'just' do before I get to her. (She is DC4). All my los are quite petite, so I agree, she was never destined to be a big girl.

I'm not sure its possible to keep up this level of feeding, and effort I'm putting in, but we will see tomorrow at her weigh-in.

Right, off to buy yet more Fenugreek!

Hi all - just found this thread after smb mentioned it to me the other day. Bit tricky to post properly atm but will come back when I can.

But just quickly my ds was 8lb 13.5 when he was born but 2 weeks ago at 26 weeks he was 12lb 4 and right off the bottom of the charts. However hes now on solids, eats like a horse and the last couple of weeks has been waking all through the night for bfeeds too. Had him weighed today and he is 14lb! Cant quite believe it, he is back in the blue now its such a relief! He even has a little double chin and chubby cheeks!

But it has been a long stressful time getting here and of course we still have to try and maintain this weight gain. Until now he's averaged about 2 oz a week.

In fact I'm now starting to question the last few weigh ins and we've had some pretty funny readings lately But whatever it is I can tell hes chubbing up and got a lot bigger all round and thats enough for me!

Hi Pescha

Got lo weighed today. She's lost 2g. HV told me to see GP (in a "well, you won't listen to me" type way).

Anyone got any suggestions? I don't think I've much choice but to give formula, though I still don't want to.

I've a theory - I was wondering how everyone's lo's are doing for sleep?

My lo isn't sleeping much in the day. I take her to bed with me at 10/11pm-ish, she generally goes through until 9 am (I've been giving her a 'dream-feed' at 7am) otherwise its pretty random cat-napping.

Anyway, my theory is that she is awake a lot in the day, and so must be burning more calories than if she were sleeping long spells.

I may well be talking out of my backside and clutching at straws - do tell me if you think so!

Hope you don't mind me gatecrashing here. I have a porker of a baby (sorry ) and always wondered if that was partly due to the fact that he sleeps a lot in the day, so would be interested to hear how people answer Foxy's question

I went to see a paediatrician who wanted me to give formula. I DID NOT WANT TO!!! I said if she thought supply was the problem could we try domperidone. She said we hadnt established that supply was the problem, if giving formula increased his weight that would show it was surely giving me domperidone and seeing if it increased his weight would do the same thing?! I told her I would express and use that to supplement. I believe the way to do that is to express and then give a bottle after a full normal breastfeed as an extra and to express after feeds or while your baby is sleeping. I managed this for a little while but it didnt really make any difference. I asked to be referred to a dietician after talking to piffle who had been given a supplement to add to ebm by a dietician for her dd who was ftt. Didnt get to see dietician till he was on solids and eating lots anyway.

If you want to give formula then by all means do but if you dont there are very very few cases where its actually necessary.

Kellymom is great for bfing info if you havent checked it out already. So is tiktok!

I got to 24+weeks exclusively bfing, he was off the bottom of the charts but you've never seen such a lovely smiley happy baby Look at my profile - he's gorgeous

And I think you're right, he hardly sleeps at all in the day, hes very wriggly and active and never has slept much, dd was the same.

Foxy, you sound blue .

Our little'uns are almost the same age, and our experiences sound similar. I've been where you've been regarding the advice from the HV and the pressure of referrals to GPs and paediatricians. Have you read my thread? I got both desperate and angry at the needless pressure and fear caused by my HV.

You have many more options than formula. (and btw pesha, your paed sounds both illogical and uninformed - well done for rejecting her ridiculous advice. Your ds is gorgeous!)

When I'm approaching this logically I can generally remember the following:

1. Breastmilk has more calories and is much more nutritiously advantageous than formula.
2. If more nutrition is required, more bfeeds are preferable to adding formula.
3. If the problem IS low supply, then the solution is to INCREASE the supply (more bfeeding / expressing etc - possibly medication if there seems to be an indication that this might be necessary)
4. But if the problem ISN'T supply, then there needs to be an alternative theory of what might be causing the "problem".

Without knowing a cause how can we possibly know what action to take?!!! It seems pretty shoddy to me for a health care professional to basically say "hmmm, baby not gaining much weight. No idea why. Hmmm. Try feeding baby something inferior to breastmilk."

At the moment, my theory is this. Baby carrot isn't hungry enough!!! She feeds frequently but doesn't take huge amounts at each feed. I would gladly feed her hourly if she wanted. I get twitchy if she goes more than 3 hours between feeds (which doesn't happen often) Can someone tell me how to make my baby hungrier? Please????

I'm still worried. I haven't yet convinced myself that everything's OK. I hate that dd has fallen off the bottom of the charts, and I'm irritated that no-one has been able to put forward a theory as to WHY she isn't gaining as she "should".

But I'm sticking at it for now. It would break my heart to introduce formula now. I've tried so hard to bf exclusively and I would hate it if I ended up pressured into doing something that I KNOW makes no sense. Seek your advice from real bf experts and be confident in your instincts as a mummy.

You sound like you are doing a superb job, under a lot of pressure.

VLC - cant post much as ds is in the middle of breakfast then we're off out.

Your baby carrot is beautiful, was she small when she was born too? Cos she looks dinky in her build iyswim. And you look yourself to be a very small build. I will search for youe thread later rather than asking you to go through it all again here! And I will post links to my various threads as well as I've had some great advice that really helped me through the last 6 months.

My dd and ds1 were both slow gainers, dd especially although not as bad as ds2. I gave dd top up bottles as I knew no better and trusted my hv! And ds1 had ocasional bottles but only when staying with other people. They were both weaned at 4 months as that was the advice then. With both of them their weight took off around 7/8 months and got really chubby! But dd had me worried until then and then from about 1 year on she has always been at the bottom of the charts but she is 7 now and completely healthy just naturally very slim. She can only wear clothes with adjustable waists! Oh and she was 8lb born, I just grow big babies - must be all the cake!

DS1 worried me alot more, he dropped from the very top of the charts tyo off the bottom but is now doing the same and chubbing up nicely. But it has been a real struggle getting him here. i got so sick of everytime i saw the hv being accosted about if i was eating/drinking/resting enough. I've put on weight, I always do whilst bfing. But its the constant insinuation that I'm doing something wrong and its somehow my fault and I'm failing him by trying to do the right thing

And even now hes gaining theres the implied 'oh well it just goes to show it was your milk all along and you should have done something sooner'.

Right i really do have to get on, D is sat in his highchair, sucking his fingers, covered head to toe in weetabix!!

I am finding this thread very supportive. Thank you VLC, your post was great. I agree with all that you said, especially substituting something for something inferior. Doesn't make sense does it?

We went to the GP today. We have agreed that I will express after every feed and build up a bottle of hind milk for later in the day. I did this today, and it honestly felt as though I was force feeding her. But she had it and didn't throw it up.

LO is full of a cold and GP did say she would not have expected her to gain this week as she is quite poorly.

Hey Foxy, sorry to hear about the cold, bah. Poor little foxcub.

Good luck with the expressing. I tried to do this for a while but kept getting blocked ducts which was bloomin annoying. I'm currently trying to pop babycarrot on the breast as frequently as I can, but, like you, I have a feeling of "force feeding", except that she's quite capable of stopping the feed by pulling off, grinning at me and saying "all done now, ta." (I am very good at interpreting her raspberries)

You mentioned sleep habits earlier...dd is starting to nap quite nicely in the day, a couple of naps of at least an hour each, although she has to be cuddled up to me or in the sling, no independent sleeping for this girl, oh no no no...

At night, she sleeps and feeds from 9 ish through to 9ish, but feeding all the way through. A couple of nights ago I noted the night feeds. They went midnight, 2am, 4am, 6am, 8am, 10.30am and noon (I drag my lazy bod out of bed very late ) Can I have a medal?

Actually it's usually not as bad as that. Couldn't do it without co-sleeping though!

Pesha - thanks so much for your kind words. It's sooo reassuring to hear similar tales with happy endings! And babycarrot's birthweight was probably just under 7lb. Scales were wrong. Sigh. She is very slightly built. And thanks for thinking she is beautiful. [proud mummy emoticon] I, on the other hand, have thighs constructed solidly of Haagen Daz and am 2 stones heavier than I was a year ago on my wedding day.

I just dropped some fresh cream victoria sponge on babycarrot's head whilst she feeds. Seriously. I'm having to blow away the icing sugar out of her ear.

This thread is great, and i like reading it as i'm dealing with some of the same issues, but just want to remind you that, as stated in the original post "not all slow gaining babies are breastfed". I'm all for encouraging a breastfeeding mother to continue breastfeeding her baby despite slow weight gain, but considering that this is not a private conversation, please remember that by mocking the idea of using formula because it's "something inferior" (whether or not it is) might alienate some mothers to whom this thread is intended to offer support.

DS was weighed yesterday - 14lb 6oz @ 24weeks, so he is still just under the 9th centile line. He has put on 11oz in 3 weeks. HV said he is fine - been following the same rate of growth for a few weeks now.

He is a heavyweight compared to some of the babies on this thread!

Foosh - you are right - and I apologise. Will definately try to be more considerate. The last thing I'd want to do is turn this thread into the bf v ff battle!

Well done to your cub Gingerbear. That sounds like good progress.

Foosh - I completely apologise if anyone was offended by the "inferior" comment. It was absolutely NOT my intention to do that - really sorry!

I wasn't trying to mock formula in any way, though, I promise...what I was trying to demonstrate (badly, I appreciate ) was that the rationale applied by misinformed doctors is very illogical. Purely from a nutritional perspective, if breastmilk is considered inadequate by the doctors, then it is daft to think that formula would be any better - nutritionally. I hope that is a better way of expressing what I mean. This is the fact that we wish the doctors would grasp. The frustration in my thread is aimed at the poor and undermining advice that our healthcare professionals sometimes give us. It's sometimes difficult to argue with doctors as to the benefits of breastmilk over formula if they are misinformed, and I was trying to give others some encouragement with countering arguments. It was really about trying to stand our ground when we are being pressured to stop our exclusive breastfeeding, which I hope you'll agree, is important to be able to do.

I can understand how the word "inferior" regarding formula could be seen as tactless to anyone on this thread, so I apologise again for being thoughtless.

However, in the situation Foxy and I face, where ill-informed professionals are advising us to do the wrong thing, it might need to be the blunt stick used with the doctors whose advice and pressure we are trying to hold out against.

I care very much that I don't offend or hurt other Mums with comments about baby feeding. I don't care a jot if I get the back up of an ignorant doctor by putting blunt facts in front of them.

I want to make sure my position is clear right now though - formula fed or breastfed - doesn't matter - this thread is for supporting everyone. There is NOOOO judgement here! It's a judgy free thread!

Oh, no need for apologies. And I just reread my first post -- I didn't mean to sound so stern! I'd make a good headmaster, don't you think?

Anyway, I don't think that weight gain has much to do with the type of milk your baby is drinking - there are big ginormous breastfed babies and little pixie formula fed babies.

Next time you speak with your doctor, tell them that you have a friend (that would be me) who has a 10mo formula fed baby who hovers around the 2nd percentile, and always has. In his first month he dropped from about 50th to under 9th, and when I switched from bf'ing at about the end of month 2, there was no effect at all on my his weight.

I think my db just has a very small appetite - always has for at least as long as I've been able to track what's going in. He's always had about half the "recommended" amount for his age and size, if that. Now at 10 mos, he's upped his milk intake significantly, but barely licks his solid food. Sometimes he touches it with his tongue. Despite this, he's thriving in every way possible. When he was younger I was so worried that he'd start to really suffer from lack of calories once he became older and more active, but his tiny appetite hasn't slowed him down one bit - in fact I shudder at the thought of him having any more energy than he does right now!

And VLC -- I saw that below you asked about stimulating your db's appetite? I've heard that extra iron is supposed to do that. But it can also make them constipated. You can get it in the form of a liquid and give it to db like you give Calpol.

Wow, I go AWOL for a few days and so many posts! Hello to everyone new nice to see you in the pixie club!

I do wonder if there is a link between sleep and weight gain. BabyMossy doesn't sleep much during the day, or certainly doesn't go into a deep sleep. He catnaps, and like VLC's lo, not independently; only snuggled up, or at the breast...

He too feeds throughout the night. I really do mean throughout. If he's ever off my breast I don't know about it; whenever I wake he's either suckling or rooting. Sometimes I roll over to swap sides.

I ditched my clock actually, so now I just don't know how often he wakes.

I too take solice in sharing sleep; I would be a wreck if I had to pick him up and put him back down every time he needed feeding.

I tell this to dh when he says that he knows babies who are in their own rooms by six months let alone their own cots!

I have resolved now that I am not going to get ds weighed again (except for injections). It just stresses me too much. It's that feeling that you have to somehow justify yourself, like you're somehow a bad Mum because your lo is little.