Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

[FireworksScareMossyPets]

Thread for those of us whose los are:

• Healthy
• Meeting developmental milestones
• Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
• Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
• Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

Ha ha, yes we get the post natal depression questionnaire at 6 weeks and again at 4 months. Questions included things like: do you feel depressed? tbh, I felt fine up until the point where ds2 wasn't gaining weight and she wasn't providing any help or support.

hi
my first ever posting on mumsnet-be gentle! my 15 week old has very poor weight gain, is suffering from reflux which is being treated with medication. the medication is working but she has an aversion to the bottle and refuses to drink more than 2-3 oz at a feed. A nightmare-how will she put on weight if she cannot drink. anyone know about high calorie milk?? any thoughts?? any tips?? going a bit mad with lack of sleep

Hello everyone!

Been away for a bit due to mad pukathon!

Lizandlee just how small is your little one? My dd is now on a high calorie milk (infatrini) but she was termed failing to thrive (weight waaaaay below the bottom centile). You would probably have to get it prescribed and I doubt they would do so if your dc is still within normal limits/not crossed a couple of centiles...worth asking though.

Just a quick update. After a week of tense NG feeds usually followed by vomiting, I made the decision to take out the NG and leave her to it. Rather amazingly...she has started to eat!!! Today she has drank about 17oz milk, 1 and a half pots fromage frais, bit of toast, half cheese stick, tablespoon hummus and a breadstick, 8 spoonfuls potatoe and bolognaise, bit of orange and a chocolate dessert. Now I know I've kind of forgotten what normal is but that struck me as pretty good. Feeling quite positive now as I was worrying about life beyond the NG. The consultant is thinking of readmiting her for investigations but if she keep this I think I shall resist. Don't want her to catch something else. Now we just have to wait on the sweat test result and I might actually relax a bit more.

Dalrymps and Academic, I totally sympathise about HVs. Mine pestered me from the moment dd2 was born as I had flagged up that with dd1 (who had horrendous eczema) I think I had pnd but I never seen an HV. I think she was over-compensating but she ended up worrying the life out of me and just kept making comments about how thin she was, how big her head was, making worried faces etc. Now when we've been through the wringer and could maybe do with some input...not a bloody peep from her! I know they now prioritise their time for more needy families but it just makes me wonder what qualifies as needy nowadays. Both times when I needed support they've been invisible.

Rant over.

What happened to missmama? Come back!

hi lizandlee. I'm afraid I don't have experience of high calorie milk, but I wanted to say hello anyway . We have never been sure whether our ds2 suffers from reflux (I don't think so but he does periodically projectile vomit and sometimes he smell of acid, but not every feed or anything like that).

I'm sure you've already tried it, but if your dd has a bottle aversion can you give the feed via another means temporarily and kind of wean her back onto the bottle (I'm assuming she has developed negative associations with the botttle?)? A pipette or a syringe might be a very slow way to do a feed but perhaps the milk will go in like this? Or just very little and often (e.g. 3oz every 2 hours instead of 6oz every 4 or something like this)?

Katy, that's a pretty impressive food intake I think! Well done. Don't blame you for considering resisting a possible admission into hospital. DS2 got admitted just once with v&d and I swear never, ever again! He lost 9oz in 2 days during that hospital visit and he'd stopped being physically ill by the time he was admitted . The only reason for his weight loss was 1. they refused to let me BF him; 2. they only put 120 ml of diaoralyte (nutrient solution) down his ng tube in 24 hours) and 3. the only food they provided for him was half a weetabix after I kicked up a fuss. God, don't you have to just love the nhs?

They wouldn't let you bf him?! Why the hell not? Fair enough if they wanted to just keep him hydrated...but 120ml in 24 hours is ridiculous!! We've been in hospital twice and I'm sure the nursing staff hated me as I just pestered them all the time for milk and dioralyte...heh heh

Also lizandlee, what about a Doidy cup? My dd was breastfed and wouldn't take a bottle but she would drink from a doidy from quite a young age.

I don't really know why they wouldn't let me bf him. They said they wanted to make sure he wasn't sick but when they said they would put an ng tube in I asked the doc if they could put ebm down it and she said yes, that would be better than diaoralyte anyway but then the nurses just seemed to want to do their own thing. I have a feeling one of them was on some kind of freaky power trip or something because when I asked whether she would accept the kind of care she was giving if it was her own child/grandchild she wouldn't answer. I was going to make a formal complaint against the hospital, but tbh just never got around to doing it and as this was at christmas I think its a bit late now.

What was the point of the NG if they were barely going to use it...weird! It wouldn't be too late to complain but do you have the energy required? I would have been livid too. Especially when you think how long it takes them to put on 9oz

I know. Thankfully he put it back on again pretty quickly, but still...

Anyway, how are everyone else's lo's doing?

hi thanks for the feedback- my dolly has dropped from the 25th to just above the 2nd percentile so maybe she is not in need of the higher calrie milk afterall. thanks for the suggestions- i will try a pippette and the cup- have one from my dd1 and see how it goes-will let you know.
KatyH well done with the great food intake- never new just how stressful and time consuming this all was!!
x

Can I join too?
This is also my first post on mumsnet..

My dc3 is now 6 months old and has been well off the charts for a little while now.

When he first started slowing in growth, and then losing weight the doctor was pretty worried and told me either to introduce formula immediately or take him to the hospital for further checks. I managed to negociate, explaining why I was reluctant to do either of those things, and bought myself a bit of time. I have always felt that my lo is just fine, though small, but I admit that the pressure from everyone around me has been quite hard to take at times.

When I took him to be weighed last week the very same doctor concluded that he was doing very well, and is a strong and healthy little boy. He is still way off the chart!

Just in case it might cheer someone up I thought I would post his progress: it seems that it is possible to be somewhere off the bottom of the chart and still doing alright!

so:
birth: 7lbs14oz
4 wks: 8lbs11oz
6 wks: 9lbs2oz
9wks: 9lbs3oz
13wks: 9lbs1oz
16wks: 10lbs2oz
28wks: 12lbs1oz

Can i join!

My DD is 18 weeks, gained approx 6 oz a week until 8 weeks where between 8-11 weeks she gained 10oz! she was then weighed at 13 weeks and had lost 13 oz! since then she has gained 3 oz and they are trying to get me to give formula!

She is healthy, happy, alert, reaching all her milestones, smiles, giggles, rolls over one way and don't like it lol, doesn't need her back supported etc etc I have never had sore nipples, she feeds till she comes off her self, has slept through the night since 5 weeks. (6-8 hours to start with) and now will happliy do 10-12 hours but i've started giving her a dreamfeed to try to get extra into her!

Don't know what else i can do!

She is currently on the 0.4% centile chart (on breastfeeding chart)

to newtonmummy I just wanted to say that you have a very positive and helathy outlook and I am taking note!!!. well done you for not obsessing like myself and by the way- how did yuu get her sleeping??
One of the main problems for me and my dh is that dd2 is waking up so often at night-sleep deprivation is a form of torture-I am not a person who copes well with lack of sleep!!

my ds has also always been a good sleeper: 6-8 hours to start with and 11-12 hours a night from 1 month or so.
At my doctor's insistence I did start to wake him every 2 hours to feed when he was 3 months old, but it didn't seem to make much difference to his weight gain. It did however make him a bit fed up from being woken all the time, and from what I could tell he didn't take as much milk at every feed. I soon stopped and after that he got back to his rythm fairly quickly.
He doesn't look fat, but he does look strong and happy; even though the pressure was pretty tough 3 months ago, I feel happy that I carried on bf him.

lizandlee

I've spent 3 weeks since they started putting pressure on for formula feeling so down, I've posted here, nd yesterday as i was walking to clinic decided that i knew my baby etc etc but i'm so worried. However as i said in my post she is doing just fine, just putting the weight on!

Hi everyone and welcome to peasandbeans and newtonmummy!

Can I just say what a great attitude you both have. I think I may have finally reached that point as well but it has felt like a long road. We seen the consultant yesterday and have agreed that there is nothing wrong with my dd other than her poor appetite. There is some talk of the dieticians giving her powder (duocal?) to add calories to her food but other than that I think we've been given the all clear...yay!

Newtonmummy, if it's any consolation I found that when I introduced formula (at about 8 months) dd simply took smaller breastfeeds and ate less solids. It was as though the formula filled her up for longer but as it doesn't contain as many calories as breastmilk I really believe it was counterproductive. There was no noticeable effect on her weight either. I also tried feeding her during the night but that just meant she took smaller amounts at breakfast.

Must say, I dip in and out of acceptance of the situation and complete frustration/upset/guilt. I'll feel fine for ages with "oh look, he's healthy and doing so well and I'm so lucky it could be much, much worse" and this will go on for a while, then I'll weigh him again and see he hasn't gained again and I get a big disappointment again.

We've also been using duocal on and off (more off than on lately as I don't want to get dependent on it as a way to get weight on), still its been good to have that extra bit of leverage for when he's been having a really hard time gaining. We also tried the feeding more at night etc etc but the dietician told us to stop and I must say stopping has not reduced his weight gain at all, so at the moment I'm trying to trust him that he knows how much he wants and not control him etc, but its hard.

Mine is due to be weighed tomorrow so wish me luck. He hasn't been weighed for four weeks now because he'd started gaining 4.5 ounces a week on average. I know he's gotten taller but having to get him weighed is always worrying now. I'll let you know how we get on.

Good luck! If he's got taller its always a good sign for having gained weight - no weight, no height, but I know what you mean about weighing. Its the apprehension of watching the scales and waiting for the numbers to settle down. 4.5 oz per week on average sounds great to me though.

Aaah, height, that's still my one big neuroticism. I measure dd at home all the time and for the past couple of weeks she's never been less than 70cm. She was measured yesterday at outpatients and they said she was 68.5cm. I know it's only 1.5cm but it's the difference to being on or off the chart and enough to plunge me into a pit of despair!! I got dh to do it when I came home (precision measurement is part and parcel of his job) and he got 70cm too so that was reassuring. Still, it was enough for me to carry on worrying about her being stunted ...god, I sound a bit barking...I'm going to stop now .

Katy, the length measurements are notoriously inaccurate. My ds2 has been measured 1 cm shorter 1 day after a previous measurement. Ditto for the head circumference.

My whinge for the day is that ds2 has for the past few weeks been "cruising" around the furniture and has started to walk with the aid of a brick-trolley , so I decided that it was time for him to have his first pair of shoes. All well and good so far, but I then go to [insert name of well known childrens shoe store here] who measure him and his feet are 1 size smaller than the smallest criusing shoes they do . So, almost a year old and hes going to be in baby bootees for a while longer....

Academicmum I have not even considered how long my dd2 is!!?? I don't even have the energy to start on that one, but try not to feel too bad about his feet size. Its just one more thing that adds to your pressure
I also have the dread when I go to the weekly weigh in and the hv must think i am a nutter.
We had good news today-she has put on 3 oz this week which is just amazing but did I really need to do a little jump for joy at the scales this morning?? in public??

Just thought I'd let you know that DS managed to grow 1 lb in four weeks. Now at 18 weeks old he weighs 12 lb 7½ ozs (just above the 2nd centile). We got off to the crappest start with stupid advice and evil midwives and health visitors but hopefully things are coming good. At the current rate of growth he should drop off the chart at six months but then I can start feeding him lard to add the weight on :P

Well done lizandlee and sprinkles! I think your little jump for joy was well deserved, you shouldn't be embarrased.

Academic, I know how you feel, I haven't even considered getting dd proper shoes because she's still wearing soft leather ones that are age 0-6months! (Who has all these huge children?) Anyway, try not to feel down, he's obviously flourishing to be cruising at that age, many other babies aren't. I'm also thinking of getting some baby scales as I can't face the weekly weigh in anymore (too many mums telling me how their baby is half my dd's age and heavier than her...yeah yeah yeah ). Can I ask where you got yours from? I've had a look on ebay but not sure how reliable a source that would be.

I got mine from Amazon - these ones www.amazon.co.uk/Salter-914-Electronic-Toddler-Scale/dp/B00018GIXO/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=baby&qid=123 8102379&sr=8-3 but the price seems to have gone up since I bought mine!!! There are a few different types on there though, but I checked mine were matching with the baby clinic scales (weighed ds2 immediately before baby clinic then whisked him off and got him weighed there).

And the comparisons amongst all the mummies. I had one coming up to me and asking "oh how old is yours?", "7 months" says I (at the time he was), "oh he's soooo tiny", she sayes. "Yes, I know, he's 14 pounds" I told her. "14 Pounds? Well mine is 8 months and 20 pounds. Must be something I'm feeding mine" she says in that tone which suggests that what she actually meant was rather "you are not feeding yours" .