is my hv talking nonsense? my baby is 23 days old and shes telling me to top up

[kittenbaby]

hi girls
my little baby is now 23 days old
i do find bf harder at night than in the morning [does sem to be less milk than in the mornings]
she is ex bf on demand
baby was born weighing 8 4 and a half
13 days later her weight went down to 7 11
hv said dd had to gain at least 4-5 oz in the next wk or we would have to rethink bf
and that maybe i should give her a formula top up
everything ive ive read says babys can and do lose weight in the 1st week or two
and one of the worse things to do to wreck bf is to give top ups of formula
so i decided to keep going only bf
then on tue one week after she was weighed again and had put on 6 and a half oz
weighing in at 8 1 and a half
so i thought yes shes put on more than 4-5oz
its working
but my hv still said that i should think about giving a top of formula
but will this make it harder for my baby to switch between the two?
or that if i dont want to give formula to express
what do you guys think should i be giving her tops ups ?
im only a first timer

green poos mean nothing. i think one of Tiktok's post once said that it means that that feed sort of whizzed through their systems, not taking much time to pick up the stuff which makes the that pretty yellow colour on the way. (my paraphrasing of course)

kittenbaby - I won't echo again how normal your baby is, but will just confirm that a baby sleeping well at night often does feed a lot in the day, 'cos that's the way she ensures she gets her nutrition. Your baby is as normal as a very normal thing

I am going to alert one of the ABM counsellors who posts on mumsnet, and ask her to look at this thread - she will tell you what you need to do to complain about what the counsellor said. It is otrageous.

i know the police wont be at my door if i dont take
dd next week but
i worry what if shes poorly or anything
what if shes malnorished ?
what do u think of her ideas to wean at 17 weeks

If she's poorly, you take her to the GP.

You know what we think about her advice to wean her at 17 weeks

Kiski - yep, that's right!

Green is a normal variation - poo changes to yellow when it's been in the gut a bit longer, that's all.

In an otherwise healthy baby, green means nothing.

Canadian bf expert Dr Jack Newman tells worried mothers to keep a pair of sunglasses handy for when they change the baby's nappy, and then they won't notice the colour

KB, if your HV thinks (totally erroneously, as far as we can see here) that your baby is short in calories, it would make even less sense than usual to advise weaning at 17 weeks. The net result of that would be your baby would get fewer calories - she'd breastfeed less, and replace the breastmilk with a low calorie, less appropriate alternative.

i worry if dd will develop properley if she dosnt gain enough

is she not thriving

but i also realise it should be a totally diffrent experience than it is
like i should be getting a bit of encouragement and support along the way

Oh - and from everything you have said, she is not malnourished. Your HV is looking at the charts and not at the baby.

Your own GP was happy you have a healthy child.

If she were malnoursihed, then she should be referring you to a paediatrician and a dietician.

Do you serioulsy think she is malnoursihed? Does she look unhealthy? Or is she happy, healthy and alert?

KB, if your dd was poorly or malnourished, she wouldn't be a happy, alert, feeding baby.

i don't htink you have to wean at 17 wks either. there are enough threads on here about the same question for so called 'poorly gaining' babies. I have to go to lunch now or would link one.

But we've told you, she is gaining enough. She is within the normal parameters of weight range.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you are not getting support from this HV, so stop seeing her.

KB, my DD gained very little weight, she didn't regain her birthweight till 5 weeks and has always remained tiny.

She is now 2 and has always been ahead development wise, plus she very rarely is ill. Her paediatrician even complemented me on what a healthy child she is, yet she is on the lowest centile for weight and has never ever been above it.

Please don't worry, have confidence in yourself, you're doing a great job.

We already know she's gaining weight (not as fast as your loony HV would like, but gaining weight). Is she happy? Is she alert? Does she have plenty of wet nappies? Is she doing what would be expected of a 3-month-old?

Then she's not malnourished.

If you think she's poorly (really, you will know if she's poorly, better than a HV in most cases), take her to the GP.

i know this is a bit boring
even im bored of it all !!!!

i dont think shes malnorished but worry if that what she would become if i insist on ex bf her

i know i cant really say anymore than this woman is talking crap

but thanks for your support anyway

tictok
in your opion
what is better for baby
bf with formula top ups till 6 months or bf and weaned at 17 weeks ?

KB, your baby is not even at risk of malnourishment (based on what you tell us here - just watching my back, as this is the internet, where anyone can say anything )

If a baby is not bf exclusively to about 6 mths, then the best option, healthwise, would be whatever kept the breastfeeding going longer, and whichever allowed most 'room' for breastmilk. So 1 breastfeed only and the rest all formula would not be so good as all breastfeeding and half a teaspoon of carrot.

And vice-versa!

Sorry KB, I asked a question and then disappeared (my 15week old DD needing feeding). At the risk of being repetitive she sounds perfectly normal and is keeping within the centile range on the charts.

I seriously think that you should ask to see a different HV as this woman sounds positively dangerous. Is there maybe an alternative clinic you can go to, just for the weigh in...chances are they wil weigh your DD and let you go on your merry way.

Your baby is around the same age as mine, you should come and talk to us on the June post-natal thread as we are a really supportive bunch, and some of us have had similar issues about being told to top up etc. You can find us here. We like to partake in a bit of HV bashing every now and again, and one of our mums is a HV, but she is one of the rare ones who a) has young kids herself, b) talks sense.

I hope you can find the strenght to deal with this woman.

You've been ebf her for 12 weeks and she's not malnourished. Why would she suddenly become malnourished in the next 12 weeks (given that she's feeding lots)? And if she were, you would notice, really you would. This HV is keen to tell you there are problems all the time when there aren't -- she'd be no use at all in helping you figure out if there actually was a problem.

im so fed up with all this now
been battling with this since day 13

thanks for all your great advice xxx

Kittenbaby,

Just wanted to say I think you are doing a great job to be still breastfeeding, despite the total lack of support your are getting in RL from your HV.

I can understand why you want to get your daughter weighed as it is the most objective way of knowing that your baby is well fed and you have had your confidence badly knocked over this. However, I was wondering if you had some sort of weighing clinic somewhere else, other than the one you go to with your HV. Where I live you can go to your Dr's surgery and the HV's clinic or you can go to a community centre and get your child weighed without seeing a HV if you don't want to. You don't have to see your HV. You never know you might actually meet somebody who knows what they are doing!

It might take some investigation though. I only discovered the other clinic when I took DS to a mother and baby group in the same building and there was a poster there.

Good luck and don't be bullied into thinking you aren't doing really well, because you are.

Can you not

Whoops - should have deleted the last 3 words before posting..

Sorry but I'm in Ireland and am at all this weighing! Ds1 and ds2 were not weighed from when they left the hospital to their 6 week check up! Ds3 was weighed by a PHN (Irish HV) a week or so after coming home but that's because he was prem!
Also I think a baby's weight at birth is a lot more to do with how many cakes his mum ate in the last trimester of pg and not so much to do with the baby's "natural" weight which should become apparent with exclusive bf. kittenbaby, I think your dd is just dainty, sounds perfectly healthy and you should drop the HV!

KB, if the HV was saying "ooh, 7oz in two weeks, lovely. Sounds like BF's going really well!" would you be more encouraged?

If so, does it have to come from the HV?

I emailed you a while back (when I was on a break) - not sure if you got it - but if you'd like me to ring you and have a chat and say supportive things to you In Person, email me your number and I will. If that's WAY mental and not something you feel at all comfortable with, ignore me. But you need some friendly words to listen to and replay in your head, not just read on the screen, I think. My email's hunkermunker at gmail dot com and I promise I'm not mad.

I'm at the ABM woman though. If you feel up to it, report her - I'm sure you can email through the ABM site.

Posted on your other thread Kitten.
God you really have been pissed about haven't you?

Where does this idiot HV live?
I'm coming down to rough her up and tell her to STOP TALKING OUT OF HER ARSE.

thanks hunker
but think its my mum thats getting to me the most maybe ill take you up on the idea in a day or two when im a bit saner
youll be the one thinking im mad xx

thanks moondog
ive replied to you on the other thread 2 xx

Having a baby drives you crazy.
We all know that.
Am still utterly barking three years after the last one.