is my hv talking nonsense? my baby is 23 days old and shes telling me to top up

[kittenbaby]

hi girls
my little baby is now 23 days old
i do find bf harder at night than in the morning [does sem to be less milk than in the mornings]
she is ex bf on demand
baby was born weighing 8 4 and a half
13 days later her weight went down to 7 11
hv said dd had to gain at least 4-5 oz in the next wk or we would have to rethink bf
and that maybe i should give her a formula top up
everything ive ive read says babys can and do lose weight in the 1st week or two
and one of the worse things to do to wreck bf is to give top ups of formula
so i decided to keep going only bf
then on tue one week after she was weighed again and had put on 6 and a half oz
weighing in at 8 1 and a half
so i thought yes shes put on more than 4-5oz
its working
but my hv still said that i should think about giving a top of formula
but will this make it harder for my baby to switch between the two?
or that if i dont want to give formula to express
what do you guys think should i be giving her tops ups ?
im only a first timer

LOL at moondog.

KB, you sound like you are doing a great job with your DD in difficult circumstances with your tear etc. Give yourself a pat on the back, and stay away from that clinic!

No pressure. The offer's there whenever, if you feel like it might help. Your GP said your DD was fine though, right?

And honestly, this is a FINE amount of weight to be putting on.

Also, your HV's been saying for ages "you'll have to top up next week, or else" and you've still not topped up and your DD's fine.

I think some HVs just don't believe boobs can make milk, really. They love to be able to talk about ounces and ice cubes - makes their job easier. Am sure some of them have a little chart, baby of x age should be drinking y ounces and eating z ice cubes and all will be well. Which is SO far off what their job is and SO far off what mums and babies actually need from a HV it's untrue.

at weighing in Morrisons - in the potato scale???

Seriously, the baby doesn't need weighing! And as the only accurate weight is one done on digital scales with the baby naked, Morrisons scales won't give an accurate result...and that could freak KB out even more.
It's fine to weigh for fun, though, as long as the result is not taken too seriously.

hi kittenbaby
just wanted to offer my solidarity. My mother really does not understand breastfeeding. My health visitor for my first child regulary put the fear into me that I was doing it all wrong. I soon realised that I was just going to have to trust my own judgement.My dd2 just gets weighed once a month, and I get the free toothbrushes and cups and a little friendly howdydo from the HV.

you sound like you are doing really well.

at proud granny and at FioFio trying to keep a smile frozen on her face as she watched baby being popped onto spud scale!!!

My point was that the scales - of any sort, vertbaudet or Morrisons or Tescos - aren't necessary

Have only just seen this thread and wanted to add my support for what its worth - my dd started on the 98th centile and dropped to between the 9th and 25th. She has always appeared healthy and alert, pooed and peed etc but I got extremely stressed by the whole weekly weigh-in thing - I was never actually told to top-up but there was always a veiled "lets give it another week and see how she does" and the same questions about whether I was eating and drinking enough etc. After 3 months I saw a different health visitor at another clinic who said - look at her and forget the charts - she looks gorgeous and certainly not malnourished! Dd now nearly 10 mths and still bf - very happy and healthy and folling the line just below the 25th centile upwards nicely - I think this is just where she was meant to be!

If you feel you still want to get her weighed try to go to a different clinic - then if your old hv asks you can say that it was more convenient to go to the other clinic that week. Also do challenge her if you feel confident enough - the govt recommendation is to exclusively bf to 6 mths - how is she supporting you to do that? You could always ask her to give you details of bf clinics so that you can get advice on boosting supply (I know you don't need to but it might get her off your back for a couple of weeks)

Keep going exactly as you are - you are doing a fantastic job!

thanks all support gratefully recieved xxxxxxxxxxx

I hope we can give you the support that is so sadly lacking from your HV and mum

As Hunkermunker said - if your HV had congraultaed you on your dd's weight gain would you be swithering about whether to give her a top up? No? Well, remember that - because that's waht she should have done, if she were competent. Your dd has, by all accounts, been making good and steady progress. Your own GP is happy that she is healthy. Your own eyes are telling you that she is healthy.

Your HV is not looking at her, but only at the scales. The scales are not the living object, your baby is. Your baby is happy, healthy and alert. That's what matters. Have confidence in yourself and waht you see.

Remember - we're here for you! {{{{{Hugs}}}}

Hi Kittenbaby
My little one (very little one!) is a bit younger than yours - she's 8 weeks old. I've just done my sums and she has gained an average of exactly 3 ounces a week for these 8 weeks - less than your poppet!!!! Annoyingly, I don't know her birth weight as the hospital scales were completely wrong, but 48 hours after birth she weighed 6 lb 10. She has gained from that day, but in teeny tiny amounts, and at 7 weeks weighed a miniscule 7 lb 14 ounces! (having only gained 2 oz in that week)

My HV is a little on the twitchy side too, but has never once suggested formula top ups, and to be honest if she did, it woud be the last time I saw her. She recommends the baby cafe and other sources of bf support. On Monday I took dd for her 8 week vaccinations at the GPs, saw the HV as she popped out of her little room, said a cheery "hello" in the waiting room and then I took dd home after her jabs without a second glance back at the scary scales. Nuff trauma for one week without weighing as well.

Dd is my first baby too, and like you I can't help wishing she was gaining faster just to spare myself the pressure from the HV, which is daft because dd is perfect and completely gorgeous - tiny but very very mighty! Even when you KNOW the HV clearly isn't as informed or educated as she should be it's blooming hard to ignore that voice. It's very difficult to not doubt yourself too. I know what you are going through with the weight gain, but unlike you, I think I've been very very lucky to find some fab support in real life, and honestly, what I've learned from the knowledge and experience of the mumsnet ladies helps me to believe in my ability to make the right decisions. DD is doing fine - beautifully, in fact. 3 oz a week is what she intends to gain and she has made her feisty little mind up on that point. And so for me and her, it'll be bf all the way, no formula ta very much. Nervous first time Mums, us? Hear us roar!!! We're doing great.

I may get dd weighed again on Monday. Or not, I'll see.

Keep smiling kitten.

Wow, carrot, I can see where your dd gets her spirit from

What a great post!

Yeah fantastic Carrot.
You go girl!

your hv is nuts!! u sure she's really a hv and not a - no i'd better stop before i start that one. Just see all the mners who agree tho, and the la leche website will tell u lots more if mn fab mums haven't convinced u yet

Carrot, I couldn't agree more. My ds was a big baby, and I got quite a lot of comments about his size- my friend was told by her HV that her entirely bfed baby may be obese!(that was the last time that ds was taken to HV!)My dd is quite the opposite, but she is just as perky and full of character and vigour.

Personally I think too much monitoring of baby works a bit like those womens magazines- the more you read them the more image conscious you become, and my response to those is to simply stop reading them.

I wouldn't go to my HV at all if she was the same one I had with my first, but she isn't, she's been really supportive, so I go occasionally. You don't have to take on anything they say- it's just one person's opinion.

I mean,the first HV I saw told me my baby's bottom would get sore because I wasn't using proper nappies! I thought, shall I point out to her that cloth ones are the 'proper' ones? but to be honest I just laughed- by that time I just couldn't care less what she thought.

Kittenbaby - I am part of the ABM central committee and am really sorry to hear that you have had such a bad experience with one of our counsellors. I would really appreciate it if you could email me (you don't have to identify yourself) and tell me the area of the counrty you are in and also the day and time of the call so that we can follow this up and make sure that no counsellor is giving out the type of information you received.

You can email me on [email protected]

Hi Kittenbaby,

Just want to reassure you that you are doing the best for your baby. I'm not HV but work in health service. I'm still feeding my DD at 13 months. She was exclusively bfed too, and never had a bottle. It's best if you can bf until she can take a cup and then gradually introduce cows milk.
Keep going, it's best for you and baby x

great post carrot

How are things Kittenbaby? Any update? My little one had her 9 week check yesterday (our GP has clearly decided a 6 week check is too early) and so consequently dd was weighed again. She'd gained only 4 oz in 2 weeks - sigh. I braced myself anxiously for the GP's disapproval, especially as dd now seems to be descending the centiles, but she wasn't the least bit worried, in fact said dd was "perfect" (of course) and that was that.

That afternoon I received a phone call from none other than my HV!!! She "hadn't seen me for a while" (2 weeks actually) and was everything OK? I told her about the GP checkup and she said something about keeping a close eye on these slow to gain babies with their tiny little bird like appetites. (I think she just misses us, we must be her favourites.)

I said I would probably drop by the clinic in a couple of weeks. I'm in no hurry though! LO smiling loads this week, bearing own weight on teeny legs, holding head up really well and cooing happily at us. Yet she weighs 8lb 2oz at 9 weeks old.

C'est la vie.

Hope you've had a good week?

hello littlecarrot
well dd got weighed this am and has gained 5 and a half oz
hv said this was fine ,i also feel dd is fine

ive still been going with the ex bf but i dont know how
came the closest i think ive been to giving up last week
but im hanging in there
find it quite tiring as dd still wants to be fed about 15 times a day at 13 weeks
ive tried to give her a dummy etc but she doesnt really like it
but dd is sleeping well and smiling lots and seems happy

O M G. Is this the first time your bf/dd got a positive remark out of a HV?

Bloomin good for you Kittenbaby. There's one in the eye for your HV! Congratulations on persevering and doing so well, I bet you feel really proud of yourself.

Good for you kb.

Yay for kittenbaby and kittenbaby's baby.....