is my hv talking nonsense? my baby is 23 days old and shes telling me to top up

[kittenbaby]

hi girls
my little baby is now 23 days old
i do find bf harder at night than in the morning [does sem to be less milk than in the mornings]
she is ex bf on demand
baby was born weighing 8 4 and a half
13 days later her weight went down to 7 11
hv said dd had to gain at least 4-5 oz in the next wk or we would have to rethink bf
and that maybe i should give her a formula top up
everything ive ive read says babys can and do lose weight in the 1st week or two
and one of the worse things to do to wreck bf is to give top ups of formula
so i decided to keep going only bf
then on tue one week after she was weighed again and had put on 6 and a half oz
weighing in at 8 1 and a half
so i thought yes shes put on more than 4-5oz
its working
but my hv still said that i should think about giving a top of formula
but will this make it harder for my baby to switch between the two?
or that if i dont want to give formula to express
what do you guys think should i be giving her tops ups ?
im only a first timer

yes this is the 1st good thing hv has ever said "oh thats fine"
we are going for weekend away in brighton tomorrow
should help recharge the batteries xx
thanks for all the support
baby kitten sends a kiss x

Great news kb! In fact v jealous over the 5.5 oz. Give yourself a pat on the back for persevering.

Re the v frequent feeds, my Mum got me a sling for my birthday and it's been a complete godsend with this... dd gets so cosy in it that she really has a good sleep, a couple of hours or so, while I potter about, and she wakes up when she's hungry. This has spaced out the feeds, but at her initiative, rather than me trying to force a longer gap. It also helps me relax as I was beginning to feel that she wasn't getting enough sleep, and her tiredness might have been contributing to her fussiness.

Don't know if you have a sling, but if not, you may find this really helps!

Brilliant Kittenbaby.
You know that you didn't need the idiot HV to endorse your actions but it's still nice to hear that her doing so has made you feel better.
(I am still willing to come and kick her arse for yuo if you tell me where she lives though. Daft cow.)

I think that in a funny ole way, persevering with the weigh-ins has been a healthy lesson in bfing to your hv. silly topup cow that she is.

[ignore my silly namechange. i've posted on your thread before.]

Hi Kittenbaby. You are getting some brill info on this group, it sounds to me like you've got absolutely nothing to worry about.

Just a bit of input (haven't read the whole thread - so sorry if i'm repeating someone). 1) The AVERAGE weight gain between 3-6months is 2.5 - 4.5 ounces a week (71-128gr) and the reference for that is Dewey 1993b. 2) Your baby is in line with his developmental guidelines right (such as smiling and stuff)? 3) The scaels are correctly calibrated and babe weighed at same time, same scales, same person and at same time of stomach emptying/filling (i.e. just pooed or just fed!) 4) If HV is worried the careplan is NOT give formula or solids, but to investigate why and refer to a paed and send you to hospital, she is failing in her professional duty is she is not doing that and expecting YOU to deal with the problem.

I could go on but wont' - you sound like you are both great.

Most important reason for my email is to follow up what IlanaK has said. PLEASE PLEASE contact her or me and tell us (the ABM) about what you were told and if you can say the dialling code that you called from, the date and approx time - we can find out who the counsellor was. We take this very seriously if a mum is made to feel bad as you no doubt have been. Perhaps the counsellor needs some -retraining, but we can't identify that without more info. Please let us know or email me or IlanaK know - I'm on [email protected].

Thanks - Take care

hi everyone ,just thought youd like a little update from me,
well dd is now 16 weks old and is still ex bf ....hooray
didnt take her to be weighed for the last 3 weeks and you guys where so right i felt so much more relaxed
took her to be weighed this am as i say 1st time in 3 weeks and she had gained 1lb 2 oz in 3 weeks ,so an ave of 6oz a week and has even started to go up the chart [haha much to the hv annoyance prob]
gone from being nearly on the 9th to nearly on the 25th

now that stupid old bint is trying to get me to wean dd early!
she told me to start giving her a few soilds i said oh i thought you where supposed to bf till 6 months, she said no thats totally unrealistic and they need to have soilds to help there develpoment ,and gave me some leaflet, so i asked wont it harm her digestive system she said read the leaflet,
and then said its only the who orgainization and it only applys to thrid world countries
but isnt it our doh guidelines to?
but then again i have managed to not s'come to her CONSTANT pressure to top up [much to her annoyance] so im so loads more confident now

i know she thinks im an idealist hippy left wing bf loon but she hasnt given me ANY encouragment at all over these past four months
and now shes trying to make out im gonna harm dd development if i want to ex bf her till 6months
bloody cow

palace i do not have the date and time but i do have her name and own phone number ,ill email the details toyou

kittenbaby - yay for you

Your HV is not gonna be satisfied, is she?

Why, when your little girl is so obviously thriving, would you give her anything else before she needs it?

Of course it is UK guidance as well, that excl bf to six months is recommended for all babies, and you are quite right to challenge her on this.

What does the leaflet she has given you say, exactly? Who published the leaflet? I'd be interested to know, as there are plenty of decent leaflets available which give the right info...and she shd not be handing out out-dated stuff.

This is the link to the UK guidance....she can put that in her pipe and smoke it!

This is the pdf link to the professional guidance on the recommendation. Her pipe is gonna be quite full

Thanks Kittenbabe, look forward to hearing from you.

And...you just stick in there with the HV's rubbish

Brilliant Kittenbabe.
Fantastic to konw that things are going so well.

You can still take me up on my offer to call by and boot her up the arse.

She sure talks some shit.

Congratulations kittenbaby! Well done for persevering when you were getting so little support from your mother or HV.

Brilliant, kitten - so so well done to you. It's tough exclusively breastfeeding for everyone at some points, and so to continue in the face of so much pressure is bloody brilliant.

Stuff the weaning. I'm sick of hearing about HVs etc trotting out the old "Oh, WHO, 3rd world countries blah blah" when it's the DoH guidelines which they should follow that say exactly the same thing (and yes, I know you know this, and that tiktok has posted the helpful links, but I wanted a rant. Please excuse me)

You're some woman - super impressed.

Yay Kittenbaby! You have done sooooo brilliantly and it takes a lot of courage to stand up to a health professional even when you know you are better informed.

My HV and I parted company this week - it's a long story but the short version is that she was unsupportive of my wishes and I lost all confidence in her. I told her as much when she dropped in on DD's vaccination appointment 2 days ago. I told her we had made "alternative arrangements" for the ongoing monitoring of babycarrot's health(which meant seeking sound advice on mnet, going to baby cafe seeing bf counsellors and HVs there, using the set of baby scales we just bought, and trying to trust my instinct!)

Keep on doing what is right for you and your babe. You are the expert in that subject! Congrats on doing so well!

hi everyone, just thought you might like a little update on how we are doing, well dd is now 20 weeks and doing absoultely great,didn't get her weighed for the last month so much easier when it wasnt on my mind so much,
dd was weighed today and has gained over 2lbs in the last 4weeks,so nearly 5 months in she has started to go up the charts,much to the hv annoyance as she thinks all baby must be weaned before 20 weeks,she is developing so well did her first little laugh 2 nights ago and smiles lots and even anticipates things like arches her back when shes about to be picked from her swing or car seat etc.
she is the picture of health

just wanted to say, thank you, thank you thankyou !!!!!!!!!!!!xxxxxx
to everyone on here that has taken the time replied to my threads im so happy and proud that i stuck with the bf against some very difficult times it has raised my self esteem and made me feel confident about my abilities as a mother so i guess ive gained emotionally from it too
im not sure i could of done it without your[ and dh and friends] help and support which is wonderful
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
love kitten xxxxxxx and kittens babe xx

[wipes tear from eye] i am a regular poster and responed to you before - honest.

Well done KB and VLC.

You've both done really well to stand up to all the pressure from crappy HVs and to continue your successful bfing.

I'm so pleased for you and love it when MN can help people get through and find their own way of parenting that works for them and most importantly thier baby.

Wooohooo ! That is just such good news Kitten !

thanks guys xx you prob don't realise just how much you have help me,but you really have xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Oh, you brilliant thing! I wondered about you just yesterday! Well done - I'm SO happy for you!

If you want a hand writing something to the HV's manager to complain, do post - or email me - hunkermunker at gmail dot com

Would hate to think she was going to keep making women feel as awful as she made you feel - but I'm so delighted you stuck with the bf!

thanks hunker xx ive never ever forgotten your offer to chat on the phone, when ive been struggling ive thought well if it gets too bad i could always call hunker
esp when mum started getting to me too

how nice of you to think of us im very touched, its amazing to get such great support via the net.

Well done, and [pbbbbbttt emoticon] to your HV. You really sound like a far far happier person now than when you first posted.

(You should print this thread off for your DD's memory book or whatever, you know)

Aw, bless you! I'm so glad it's worked out well for you. How is your mum about it now? You sound a lot more confident and relaxed, definitely!

i am feeling much much more confident [ think some of that confidence comes from bf in my own personal experience], i almost fell under the pressure but im so glad i didn't
looking back im quite amazed esp with recovering from the 4th degree tear

mum is still very anti bf thinks it should be kept in private etc, ive tried telling her that if i did that id never go anywhere and now shes moving on telling me to put her on three meals a day suppose she will be asking when im going to stop bf soon,maybe ill carry on for ages just to piss her off!
think it pisses her off that i never ask for her advice ever ! so she just tries to give it to me
and the hv is now telling if i bf till 6 months dd will have lots of problems when it comes to soilds and that ive im gonna "miss the window" and im gonna have loads of problems
bet if i do have problems weaning she'll say well i told you to wean before 20 weeks blah blah, but yet she doesnt mention that actually dd didnt need the formula that she constantly kept telling me she did

thought about printing this off as a keepsake but it has quite alot of info on it about my mum etc and i wouldnt really want anyone to see it ifkwim?
maybe ill just copy it onto a word doc ?

Can you ask her for the research into the weaning window and what problems she envisages?

I bet you she'll talk about speech development and having to get "used to" food by having purees.

Have a look at Aitch's BLW site first as well, if you really fancy making her eyes bulge.

This HV is an idiot and is in urgent need of retraining.

Have a think about writing the letter. All the info's on this thread, as you say - but best not to print it out and hand it to her boss verbatim, eh?!