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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
23balloons · 14/07/2007 14:54

lulumama see that is what I am not convinced of. Ds2 who was bottle fed has been very healthy, I too was bottle fed and have hardly been ill in my life. I know they are only 2 examples but I would like to read some real statistics if anyone knows where they can be found.

BTW ds2 who was bottle fed did not catch cpox at 6 mths when his brother had it, yet I know at least 4 6 month old breastfed babies who did catch cpox despite their antibodies? I am just wondering where the actual statistics are as as far as I am concerned I just don't believe that breastmilk is as superior as people make out.

tiktok · 14/07/2007 14:55

The Victorians were prudish - just not about breastfeeding (on the whole).

A good book which discusses this - and a lot of the social context outlined in EscapeFrom's post, too - is The Politics of Breastfeeding by Gabrielle Palmer.

Original poster
Difers · 14/07/2007 14:56

Lulamama - Sorry to make you I was in fact joking about the goosestepping.

However my experience was of a state run organsation, with women in uniform, imposing an ideology in order to promote healthy robust children and using bullying tactics to do so so I do feel that there are parallels with a certain organisation which was about in the 1930's in Europe!!!!

OP posts:
MaryAnnSingleton · 14/07/2007 14:56

I have to add that ds is wonderfully healthy - never a day off sick at school - not over weight or anything...interestingly he doesn't like dairy stuff - no milk, cheese,yogurt - don't know if that's relevant to anything though !

ktmoomoo · 14/07/2007 14:57

i would bottle feed if i had any more kiddies as i had too much milk with my kiddies and it was loike a tactical manover everytime i fed as i leaked from one as i fed from other and had to put towels over and under other one to keep me dry , babbies choked on milk as it came out too fast and i ended up crying everytime xx

Lizzer · 14/07/2007 14:58

Makes complete sense Berolina, its a crying shame that they just can't be both feeding implements and works of erotic art. Boobs are bloody brilliant things, I could look at my swollen, pg ones all day (ditto dp)

lulumama · 14/07/2007 15:01

ok,

thanks for the apology, but comparing PN care with nazi germany is just not on..just an analogy too , too far...

23balloons · 14/07/2007 15:02

Maybe I should start a thread to see if it is true that bf babies are in fact healthier and less prone to illness than bf babies?

tiktok · 14/07/2007 15:02

There are statistics all over the web and all over mumsnet. It's comforting to think it doesn't make much difference, but of course it can difficult to know in any individual if it does or not unless the signs are very clear (baby sick on formula or showing other symptoms which are not there when breastfed).

One source of evidence based explanations of the difference is here where there are a number of papers which might help you, 23balloons.

But honestly, telling people that how you feed your baby has an impact on his health is not what I am about, personally...it strikes me as obvious that not giving human milk to a human baby is going to make a difference, but what is really needed is a level playing field, so mothers can make a real choice, uninfluenced by factors they have no control over.

23balloons · 14/07/2007 15:04

Thanks tiktok I will have a look.

berolina · 14/07/2007 15:04

at 'swollen' Lizzer - I'm 31 weeks and bf and mine are hardly bigger than their (pitiful) usual, just hang down ever so slightly

EscapeFrom · 14/07/2007 15:06

I'm not at all bitter about my experiences actually, I never wake up in the morning and think to myself God I wish I had breastfed. I never think about it until I see threads like this, to be honest. I didn't have an experience enything like 'Gemma', so nothing to be bitter about, really.

What I am quite bitter about is the denial of the very real issues facing many women when it comes to breastfeeding.

How do you deal with a partner who thinks you are being disgusting for breastfeeding?

How do you deal with your own parents if they think you are disgusting for breastfeeding?

How do you develop the confidence to stand up to HVs who pressure you to bottle feed because baby isn['t gaining, when you are very aware of how poorly society already thinks of you?

These are all issues 'Gillian' is not as likely to have, if only down to her higher age.

Lizzer · 14/07/2007 15:09

Sorry Berolina, won't mention them again I didn't say perky though, they're too big for that

23balloons · 14/07/2007 15:14

The page you linked to Tiktok had this disclaimer at the bottom :-

Disclaimer: All material on this website is provided for educational purposes only, although every effort is made to provide accurate and up-to-date information. Unless otherwise noted, the articles at this website are not written by doctors or other health care professionals.

so I am wondering how factual some of the information is.

berolina · 14/07/2007 15:17

Don't worry Lizzer, I'm used to Having No Cleavage

motherinferior · 14/07/2007 15:19

Returning to the OP: I chose, with my first baby, to shift to mixed feeding because I found the absolute dependence on me that breastfeeding ensured was really incredibly hard to deal with. With formula, anyone could take on the responsibility for feeding my baby. It wasn't just the physical/logistical tie - I was good at expressing, dammit, and she was happy to take breastmilk out of a bottle - but the emotional one. I felt crushed. Bottlefeeding shifted some of that crushing. Quite possibly, looking back, I had mild PND. I was lost, stuck in this 'oh what have I DONE, where has my life GONE, what does this baby MEAN', and breastfeeding reinforced that.

I felt differently with my second baby.

Original poster
Difers · 14/07/2007 15:20

Hear Hear, Escapefrom. I feel the inverted commas in my initial question are actually justified because although some people choose, some people are influenced to choose for the reasons which you state which actually isn't therefore a true "choice"is it?

OP posts:
MotherFunk · 14/07/2007 15:21

Message withdrawn

Desiderata · 14/07/2007 15:22

23balloons ... please don't start that thread

You will come out none the bloody wiser!

EscapeFrom · 14/07/2007 15:34

Motherfunk - are you seriously saying that you would be as confident a parent at the age of 17 as you would be at the age of 35? Because that has not been the case for myself, or many of the other mothers I know. My confidence has come on leapps since I hit the magic 25 and I do hope it continues to do so - I was a wreck at 17. Many girls I knew were.

There is a big problem with persuading younger mothers to breastfeed that the NHS is well aware of, so 'blatently' it is a relevent issue.

And, in the first 3 weeks of your babies life, I would NOT agree that the baby would be better on formula if he/she is losing weight. How are you supposed to establish any kind of supply if you are topping up[ with formula? So actually, I 'surely' do not agree.

MotherFunk · 14/07/2007 15:58

Message withdrawn

fannyannie · 14/07/2007 16:02

"i dont know why people just assume that BF will involve feeding all day long."

perhaps that's because some of us have had a baby that fed all day long until they were 4 months old (age DS1 was weaned) and most of the day afterwards until they were about 9 months old.....

DS3 wasn't quite as bad as a DS1 was when he was tiny (he did at least sleep a little between feeds - DS1 hardly slept for the first 4 months - but I still couldn't put him down for a rest and the sling was good, but very tiring all day everyday).

GrimoireThief · 14/07/2007 16:06

23balloons - Dr Jack Newman, who compiled the information on the page Tiktok linked to is an acknowledged and extremely well-respected authority on breastfeeding.

Kellymom is a website that strives to collect and present evidence-based information on breastfeeding. While many of the authors are not health professionals they do tend to provide references to their articles which back up their assertions with research.

fannyannie · 14/07/2007 16:12

"BTW ds2 who was bottle fed did not catch cpox at 6 mths when his brother had it, yet I know at least 4 6 month old breastfed babies who did catch cpox despite their antibodies?"

Both my older DS's had chickenpox about 2 months ago - DS1 got it first and had it fairly mildy, DS2 got it next and really suffered poor little mite.....DS1 was BF, DS2 FF........mind you DS1 was by FAR the sickest as a baby, constant chest infections (and laryngitis at 3 weeks old )

daisybo · 14/07/2007 16:15

not read the whole thread, but i'm sure it's placental immunity (which lasts for about 6 months) that's supposed to protect them from chicken pox and the like. breastmilk is full of anti-bodies but won't necesarrily prevent them catching stuff iykwim