Why "choose" to bottle feed???

[Difers]

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

daisy- in your post you said you knew you were going to get jumped on ! so you must have know the way you phrased your post was inflammatory....opinions, differing ones are great..judgemental is not

i was not trying to villify any specific individual. and selfish was probably the wrong word to use.
yes tiktok, it is the culture that needs changing. the culture is why people seem to think bottlefeeding is a good alternative to breastfeeding. mis-informed is probably a better word than selfish.
as i said previously, i feel very sad for people who don't manage to breastfeed as long as they would like. this is the fault of the system, not the mothers.

of course i don't know why each and every woman bottlefeeds. don't be ridiculous
but are you trying to suggest that women don't think that bottlefeeding is as good as breastfeeding, or that people bottle feed because they don't WANT to breastfeed, with no other reasons???

ok lulumama, good point. but... there are plenty of people who are judgemental on this website....
....fruit shoots and mcdonalds anyone?
sorry, i could probably have phrased it all a lot better. but that is how i feel.

You are dead right Daisy about formula being full of crap

No, daisybo, I'm not, and I don't think antything I have said points to that conclusion.

So, by your own admittion, you are quite happy to judge new mothers who decide not to breastfeed their children, and you get angry with them, without knowing any of the reasons behind why they don't want to breastfeed?

And you are still defending your stance on this?

Am I right? because I fail to see where I have been 'ridiculous'?

daisybo

I do agree that breastfeeding is the best way to go. There are so many advantages to breastfeeding. And then there is the beautiful bonding moments between mother and baby.

That being said, I think that education and understaning is the best way to get more mothers to nurse. If we call women who don't nurse selfish then we put them on the defensive.

A big part of it is cultural, too. When I nursed my middle son, my brother-in-law who was bumming of us, thought it was nasty and made rude comments. It made me feel uncomfortable.

but not wanting to breastfeed is NOT a bad reason! because you chose to bf and could successfully, it doesnt make you a better mother than someone who simply doesnt want to or is unable to.

And much as I respect you Tik Tok,it's a bit much to come on suggesting that Daisy withdraw her posts.

Your stance seems to be that if one is to support and defend breastfeeding one has always to be calm and logical and measured and non judgemental.

I disagree.

my friend has chosen to bottle feed, i have chosen to breast feed, we wouldn't dream of questioning each others reasoning, its a choice that is individual to all, the same as whether parents let ther dc's have fruitshoots and sausage rolls..etc, no one has the right to question others judgements.

thankyou moondog
maybe all of you who don't think formula is full of crap should read that article. in particular this bit:

The bacteria Salmonella and afl atoxins ? potent toxic, carcinogenic, mutagenic, immunosuppressive agents produced by species of the fungus Aspergillus ? have regularly been detected in commercial formulas, as has Enterobacter sakazakii, a devastating foodborne pathogen that can cause sepsis (overwhelming bacterial infection in the bloodstream), meningitis (inflammation of the lining of the brain)
and necrotising enterocolitis (severe infection and infl ammation of the small intestine and colon) in newborn infants.

The packaging of infant formulas occasionally gives rise to contamination with broken glass and fragments of metal as well as industrial chemicals such as phthalates and bisphenol A (both carcinogens) and, most recently, the packaging constituent isopropyl
thioxanthone (ITX; another suspected carcinogen).

Infant formulas may also contain excessive levels of toxic or heavy metals,including aluminium, manganese, cadmium and lead.

Soya formulas are of particular concern due to the very high levels of
plant-derived oestrogens (phytoestrogens) they contain. In fact, concentrations of phytoestrogens detected in the blood of infants receiving soya formula can be 13,000 to 22,000 times greater than the
concentrations of natural oestrogens. Oestrogen in doses above those normally found in the body can cause cancer.

lissie

I couldn't agree with you more. Some people don't feel comfortable or can't and nothing is achieved by making them feel bad about it.

I do think that the advantages of breastfeeding should be part of prenatal classes. And that young mothers should be "encouraged" to at least give it a try. Encouraged is the key word. Not badgered, or verbally abused into it.

Daisybo, I agree utterly. Formula is just not as good as breast milk.

However, you still haven't answered my question, which was actually nothing to do with the composition of formula.

i am not going to withdraw my posts. we can't be nicey nicey about everything can we. and neither can we be non judgemental about everything. i am sure plenty of us are judgemental about lots of things.
fruit shoots
mcdonalds
smoking
working full time
leaving kids in the car
blah blah blah
i'm not the only person who is judgemental about other peoples parenting

The choice issue is interesting as people often assume that they are making an informed choice which they are not.
The formula companies have done a terrific job in persuading women that formula really isn't that different at all.

What do they care? Suppressing the truth just means millions more in their pocket.

Do you honestly think they give a flying fuck about anyone of us whether we are Chablis sipping breast-feeding Islington lawyers called Tamara or alcopop swilling semi feral Bootle teens called Chantal.

I have been trying to get some basic information out of the Cow & Gate helpline folk for nearly 9 weeks now. They won't give it to me,despite their breezt exhortion to 'call us anytime,just for a chat.'

No, but you do seem to be the only one completely unable to justify your anger.

My first born was lactose intolerant. I tried to nurse him but he hurled everything up. The doctor eventually had me stop nursing and give him prosoybee which is a soy formula.

Escapefrom,you are being ridiculous frankly.

the mothers who make me angry are those who bottlefeed from birth because the baby will sleep longer, or because they think breastfeeding is rude, or because breastfeeding is not natural etc etc
but as i have said before a lot of these attitudes arise out of the bottlefeeding culture we have in our society.

formula was never intended to be a breastmilk substitute, it was intended to save the lives of babys whose mothers couldn't feed them or were not around to feed them. somehow it has become seen as an acceptable alternative to breastmilk, which it just isn't.

will that do you escapefrom?
who's the one who's harassing people now?
aren't you being a tad judgemental yourself?

thread here asking for realistic suggestions on increasing bf rates.

and formula is a valid alternative to breast milk. its the only alternative tbh!

I think it's ridiculous to stick your neck out and declare that mothers who choose to bottlefeed make you angry, then scrabble back out of it as fast as your little legs will carry you when pushed to expand that statement with a little explanation and detail, but hey ho, apparently I'm not allowed to judge, so I won't bother.

I got funny jokes posted in other section. Go read them and have a laugh. I feel so much better knowing I am not the only one who get PO sometimes

I can understand a huge number of reasons why mums feel they have to, or end up bottle feeding. I am one of them and 7 months on it still saddens me daily. Dealing with the guilt will take a long time. Fortunatel formula does exist, or DD might be very sick or not here. (Lithium, if you must know)

But in response to OP, I can't understand why people actively choose to. I don't mean that to be judgemental, I just really can't understand it.

escapefrom i am not going to waste any more time on you. you are so narrow minded and can't accept that not everyone is going to agree with you. i'm judgemental and i admit it. but so are you, so is everyone for gods sake. deal with it.
i am not scrabbling back out of it. mothers who bottlefeed from birth because they don't want to breastfeed, because they want the baby to sleep , because they want a routine, because they think breastfeeding is rude or unnatural, or because they think bottlefeeding is better etc, do make me angry. i am not backing out of this. and i think giving formula because you want some sleep is a bit selfish. so shoot me, that's my opinion.
why do people think they can opt out of a certain aspect of parenting because they don't like it? beats me.