Want to exclusively FF

[justpoppingintosayhello]

I'm being made to feel inferior because I want to formula feed my baby, how do I carry on with this? I'm being made to feel bad because of my choices.

Well said that woman!! Common sense prevails Fear!!! Who knew it had such a filthy fucking mouth!

It just fucks me off.

You wouldn't have guessed

A wise midwife once told me happy mum, happy baby... get some formula. This was when I was in tears, with sore, cracked nipples & hard, painful breasts bent double with gritted teeth trying to feed a starving baby.

We get it mainly you judge. Well done you. Carry on enjoying looking down on others without any interest in or true understanding of their beliefs/reasons.

wannabe your post was fab and made me smile as well as feel a little better.

We all judge occasionally. I'm sure you do too. You are judging me right now. And that's just the way it is. I am judgemental if people don't even try BFeeding.

Wannabe I've not breastfed for 3 years. Not embarrassed. Not a fundamentalist. Just informed and passionate.

You really haven't read anyone else's posts have you mainly. There are lots of reasons why people decide not to 'even try' breastfeeding, that makes them neither uninformed or selfish. All you are doing here is proving that the OP and others have a legitimate concern when it comes to the reactions of women like yourself. Congratulations on confirming a stereotype.

Ps. Do you have no regard for the feelings of the women you 'judge'?

Re the eczema research.

The only food allergen that has scientifically been proven to cause allergies in a breastfeeding baby is dairy in a breastfeeding mum's diet.

So if the mother is drinking milk, eating cheese this then goes direct to the baby. For an allergic baby they will then receive this allergen. Go figure. Formula is cows milk.

Betty the definition of judging is forming an opinion. Just like you are forming an opinion of me. You have "confirmed me as a stereotype" .You Have judged me as a stereotype. You formed that opinion. We all do this. I am of the opinion that it is poor not to ever try to breastfeed. This clearly excludes extreme medical circumstances.

We all judge Betty. All day. Everyday.

I'm not going to bother saying any more on this thread- personally not a fan of being patronised and am getting rather bored.

OP- do what you feel is right. Ignore people like mainly, they really aren't worth being bothered by.

It looks like the OP was a troll but just in case any real new mothers are reading this - don't panic. There are crazies on both sides of the argument but the vast majority don't judge. You get asked about feeding by pretty much every HCP but it's not because they actually care, it's because they need to tick a box. Cynical but true!

I think a lot of it is actually down to luck and the sort of baby you end up with. Some babies latch on perfectly the minute they're born, others just don't take well to breastfeeding. Their mothers may not be in that 1% who cannot breastfeed, but it still might be horribly difficult. There is a difference between having a new baby who wants to feed all the time so you are exhausted and sleep deprived (which is hard but normal) and having a baby who screams every time they go near the breast, refuses to latch and feed for a decent length of time, drops too much weight etc. The latter situation is surprisingly common. Obviously one of those babies is more likely to end up FF than the other, regardless of the mother's intentions before the birth.

Weirdly I find people are far more accepting of the role of luck in childbirth (people understand that if you end up with an EMCS it's just one of those things) but don't apply the same logic to breastfeeding. Then it becomes all about "choices" which I think massively oversimplifies it.

mainly you're a funny one

Dame... when my preemie DS (3lb too) was in SCBU he was fed my BM only

What's your point?

And I am accused of being unreasonable because I say that yes I DO judge this absolute lack of attempt to try ?! I think it is a travesty that a baby won't get even one tiny attempt of breastmilk and MN is a place for that debate and I can't see how that is breaking any codes - I just don't have the same opinion as you as I am in the minority and I am berated for that! I'm glad I have full belief in breastmilk it's so strong that nothing will change my mind ever. It's the most incredible, bonding and hardest thing I have ever done - I think it's awful not to even try.

What?? Why was my message deleted?

How odd

As far as I remember I said that Mainly was being unkind and not well informed if she thinks Formula is junk and if she doesn't understand the social, political, cultural and economic issues influencing infant feeding practices. I also said that "A little knowledge is a dangerous thing" a quote by some poet forgot the name sadly. Wonder why MN deleted my post but lets Mainly's stand gene though she is attacking all women who don't BF. very very odd

Personally I would never FF unless for a medical reason.

But I couldn't care less what anyone else does. Even if I don't understand it, everyone has a choice and it's their choice. It doesn't matter what anyone thinks or says.

I agree, links. If mainly is really interested in supporting breastfeeding, then she needs to stop posting about how she judges ppl who don't BF.

There are many reasons for not BF, for stopping BF and for mixing BF with FF. BF is not just a personal choice, but a socially, culturally and physically mediated behaviour. Sensible, sensitive people understand this, either because they are naturally aware of the complexity, or because they have learned about it.

This is not a matter of opinion, as mainly thinks, but a matter of empathy and maturity, and just getting out more.....meeting other people, genuinely listening to them, being aware that what matters to one person is not so important to someone else.

Ok MN just sent me an email stating that I had said that "Mainly" was "opinionated and unkind" and MN apparently think this is a personal attack. I still think she has been very unkind on this thread.

Opinionated: characterized by conceited assertiveness and dogmatism.
synonyms:dogmatic, of fixed views, of preconceived ideas
I don't agree at all that that's a personal attack. Her posts speak for themselves.

Unkind: inconsiderate and harsh to others. Saying that mother who ff give their babies junk is very unkind.

I say all this a someone who cares about BF an awful lot and who gives their time to volunteers in children's centres to help women BF. "Mainly's views are inaccurate and unhelpful to say the leafs

*to say the least

links your post must have been reported, I guess.

Tip: if you think something someone says is unkind, then it's better to say (from a non-reportable point of view!) 'it is unkind to say.....'. That way it's not a personal attack. So the words are unkind, or the effect is unkind....the actual person isn't :)

Thanks TikTok that makes sense.

Blimey. I have just seen a post of mine was deleted from yesterday.

I'm really careful what I say. Really, really careful. Someone's report finger has been doing overtime :).