Want to exclusively FF

[justpoppingintosayhello]

I'm being made to feel inferior because I want to formula feed my baby, how do I carry on with this? I'm being made to feel bad because of my choices.

momma I hope you little one is OK now, how bloody terrifying for you.
My son wouldn't come near me and no that is not an exaggeration, as soon as he was put on my breastfeeding, he'd scream until we took him off. Nothing worked, so the lactation consultant I saw, who was bloody amazing, said I should try formula junk so he was getting something and keep trying. I gave up 3 days in as it was obvious he was losing weight.
People like mainly are the reason I didn't go to baby groups for nearly 4 months so I didn't feel like as much as a failure as by then some other mums might have stopped ebfing.

He's still a tubie, still on special junk as prescribed by those well known Satanists - the dietician. You know, the ones with no idea what is and isn't good for my son! But also amazing and funny and bloody gorgeous.

Perhaps you should have just left him to get really really hungry itsyb you know I'm sure he'd have few eventually and it's got to be preferable to giving him devil juice. Personally I'd sue the lactation consultant for child abuse

Don't worry about it. Plenty of people formula feed. Maybe try to give them the colustrum at the start, if that's still current recommendation. Good luck!

mainly
Okay then in 4 years time you tell me how different our children are because my DD was formula fed and how inferior my DD because she was resigned to a year of being fed junk !

I breastfeed my dd (plus one bottle of formula before bed) but I if I see a baby being bottle fed I think 'aww that baby looks content'. If I see a baby being breastfed I think 'aww that baby looks content and wow how is she not flashing everyone'. I can't seem to go out without flashing my nipples to at least 5 people, not that it bothers me or them. There's a few reasons I breastfeed but one of them being laziness as my boobs need no prep . Do what you want as 99.99% won't care/notice and the other 0.01% don't matter. Do discuss with your partner though, but they're your boobs!

Aww bless him! I know momma get that baby absolutely starving and then he might have latched? Bloody midwives and consultants seeing a distressed baby and distraught first time parents and actually condoning the giving of hideous junk. Never mind that he's happy, healthy 8 month old who loves eating food, when he's not blowing raspberries at me, and drinking his milk.

seven I too am amazed when I see bf women not flashing, I would have had everything hanging out and would not be discreet or decorous. I think the world thanks me for not getting my saggy pasty breasts out in public though

Fools, to be fair that's not how science works. You don't compare two individual children because there are too many individual factors that could skew your results.

To compare two feeding methods, you look at thousands of children who've been ff and compare them with thousands who've been bf. You do what you can to control for variables (sex, income, family health patterns, race etc). Then you look for trends (eg. in obesity, IQ, infection rates, allergies, asthma, maternal breast cancer...)

It's the results of studies like that which tell us what we know about feeding options, not the comparison of two random children.

No one gives you a medal for breastfeeding and really no one cares at all.

I BF my 4.5 month old. She won't take a bottle so I get No chance for a break and she feeds every 2-3 hours round the clock. I've no idea how long I'll need to continue for as she's so unwilling to put any bottle in her mouth - trust me I've tried.

All the midwives and health visitors who encouraged me to BF are no where to be seen when I'm feeling so drained due to her refusal to take a bottle.

I also have a son and my OH works away a lot so I'd do anything just to have a couple of hours alone with my son again or OH but that can't happen.

I thought I was doing the best and I was so proud of myself for doing it but slowly I've realised no one actually cares. My son was FF from six weeks and he's perfectly healthy.

If I had a third - which I won't but if I did I would FF after giving baby the colostrum in the first few days of life.

Do what makes you happy OP.

Given most babies are formula fed why do you feel people making you feel bad for it?

ODFOD mainly . Nobody gives a shit about your facts and statistics.

OP, stick to your guns and do NOT feel guilty.

I am formula fed and I recommend it. I did it because I just wanted to and I didn't want to be a 24/7 milkbar for anyone.

I do have one regret about breastfeeding, and that was that I ever was stupid enough to agree to try it in the first place. It totally wrecked my first few days with my DD1 and reinforced my conviction that my original decision to formula feed had been the correct one all along.

Ignore the breastfeeding zealots. Do as you see fit and for whatever reason.

I'm well aware how science works mainly but I think mothers mental health has a massive impact on families too.
I'm not after an argument on mumsnet so why don't you go and preach to someone else rather than making another mother feel guilty for how she chooses to ensure her baby is fed.
As parents we should be supporting each other, not bringing others down.

I chose to exclusively formula feed. I have my reasons. I gave birth in a hospital abroad and there was a lot of pressure on me to breastfeed (I'm pretty sure the hospital was annoyed with me for fucking up their targets).

Before I go on I just want to say that I'm very much pro-breastfeeding if that's what the woman wants and have supported friends through the tough bits so that they could achieve their aim of breastfeeding exclusively.

But I'm obviously not anti-formula. In fact, I think formula is an amazing product that has the potential to save babies' lives when breastfeeding fails and still provide them with all the nutrients they need to grow up strong and healthy. I was ff myself.

Breast feeding is best and that is an evidence based indisputable fact.

Actually a lot of people are disputing this right now. Much breastfeeding research is notoriously poor quality, often making causal links between various outcomes and breastfeeding even when the evidence simply does not allow for such huge leaps.

There are three things we know for sure that breastfeeding protects against - necrotizing enterocolitis in premature babies, gastroenteritis and otitis media (an ear infection). However, I think the statistic for the second is that, for every 25 breastfeeding mothers, one episode of gastroenteritis will be prevented; for the latter, it would require six breastfeeding mothers. So statistically your own baby is unlikely to benefit.

There is emerging evidence (I'm sure you've all seen it) that advice to exclusively breastfeed could be one of the reasons behind the current allergy epidemic as children are sensitized to peanuts etc through their skin but build no tolerance due to athe recommended milk-only diet. Ff babies are slightly less likely to have cow's milk protein allergy.

I did a lot of research before deciding that ff wouldn't harm my baby. He's gorgeous and healthy and meeting all his milestones; my paediatrician and I are satisfied that he's getting everything he needs. As I said, I'm certainly not anti-breastfeeding, but it's not the right choice for every family and a very good alternative is widely available.

Btw OP you do what is best for you and your baby.
No one can tell the difference between a child who was ff and bf.
I have a happy and thriving 10 month old daughter, until this weekend she has never been unwell (she has an ear infection) So the SMA Lactose Free junk I've been feeding her clearly hasn't done any harm.

*Fools
*
So the difference through evidence in 40/50 years time (it goes beyond 4 years) is as follows:

Long-term benefits for the baby: Breastfeeding as an infant can lead to higher IQ, especially if breastfed exclusively and for a longer period of time. ... Children and adults who were breastfed have a lower rate of food allergies, asthma, eczema, Celiac Disease, and Type I and Type II diabetes, among others.

Just answering your question and you probably won't like it and tell me
To fuck off like other posters have done to me for having a different opinion.

I don't mind as it reminds me that my child is likely to be a swearing oik....

You posted about people judging you and I'm telling you yes people will. Deal with it.
It's your choice to give your child formula but don't whinge that others will judge you for it. Get over that and live with your
Decision. I judge formula as I don't it (unless it has a place for a baby that genuinely needs it).

Of for God's sake, of course breastfeeding is best. I imagine the 'emerging evidence' that it is not partially funded by formula making companies.

Op, you live in a free society and can choose to feed your baby however you want. Your baby and you should be happy and healthy, that is what matters.
I suggest you develop a thicker skin regarding perceived 'judgement' from others as it's a long road ahead!

Mainly- I chose to exclusively formula feed my baby and I'm proud of that decision. I did not want to breastfeed or express breast milk for personal reasons. I simply didn't feel comfortable with it and therefore it was not something I ever wanted to do.
Therefore I feel it's wrong to judge a formula feeding mum. That mum may have attempted breastfeeding and was unable to do it for a number of different reasons. Or perhaps she simply didn't want to. You don't know a persons personal circumstances or situation, so instead of judging formula feeding, why not try to supper it?
I am happy with my choice, and will also exclusively formula feed any more children I have in the future.
Breast, expressed breast milk, formula- surely FED is best?

I will repeat. Fed is best. This is a thread trying to support a formula feeding mother, we do not need one of the breastfeeding brigade to bring her down. Mothers should support each other, if you can't do that, move on. Her choices do not effect you or your child.

I didn't want to BF either and had no intention of trying. The mere thought of it turned my stomach and I went back to work at 3 months so it made sense to start DC on a bottle. Also I didn't give him his first ever feed after birth (my mum did because I was sick throughout my labour and was still throwing up after) so if I had BF that wouldn't have been possible. I do not feel guilty - DS is happy, healthy and strong.

I exclusively FF my little girl as I just didn't feel confused breast feeding, I've had people give me the whole lecture on breastfeeding but what really made me realise that it didn't matter was when my midwife said she never breastfed any of her children! Coming from my midwife really reassured me! Turns out DD has CMPA now so has to have formula but really it doesn't matter, do what makes you feel comfortable and ignore ever one else!!

No the post didn't ask for support (you don't need support to FF for goodness sake!)
You posted as you were concerned people will Judge you as you deep down lust also feel that the stuff is crap.

Well some people will judge you and
You Can't stop that. The good news for you is most people FF. Trust me breastfeeders get judged too as this aggressive thread indicates. The difference is that I know it really was best for my baby so I don't mind at all.

I formula fed both my boys. They're both now 6ft tall and disgustingly healthy so it didn't do them any harm.

Do what's right for you.

Mainly you are a true delight.y favourite part of your first post was:

Some parents don't put their children to bed at any set time. It's their choice, but possibly not the best choice - that's all.

Nothing whatsoever to do with the question but another opportunity to judge others by your standard which is, of course, best. I did actually breast feed my children (not because of your reasons but purely because with the first couple we were really poor and with the rest because I'm really tight!!) but do you know what? We have never had a bed time for our children yet they are all fully functioning human beings who get good grades at uni (oldest) and school (the rest) AND-shock of shocks-I'm a head teacher so according to self righteous plonkers like you I should know better.

OP. Your children are your children and what they need most from you is love, support and understanding. You are their cheerleader, their guide, their mentor. Nourish them with love, with knowledge and, if it's your choice, formula. Don't justify it or defend it to anyone, it's your body, your baby, your choice.

Mainly- the op clearly felt low as she was being to made to feel inferior-possibly from some one like you in rl.

I bf our first.
Ff our second and third.

Our first doesn't have a stronger immune system than our second. Our first is going to have an operation soon and has had recurrent bouts of ear infections and tonsillitis his whole life.

Our second dc is very, very rarely ill. Not even colds.

To make someone feel shitty because they're not feeding their baby how you feel is right is really shitty on your behalf.

I don't have the time or the energy to explain how misinformed mainly is, sadly that kind of rabid and narrow minded belief in the "overwhelming benefits of breastfeeding" is widespread among lactivists, and has very little basis in reality or science.

Op, do what you want. In real life you'll come across very few people who care whether you bf or ff. If it makes you feel better when health professionals ask, lie. I told my DD's GP that she was exclusively BF and she used to rave about how healthy DD was and that was why (DD never had a drop of BM, I never managed to get a single drop out).

And if reading things like mainly's rant upsets you, best to stay off topics about breastfeeding. It's much less stressful that way.

Of for God's sake, of course breastfeeding is best. I imagine the 'emerging evidence' that it is not partially funded by formula making companies.

Well you're free to look it up yourself, like I did, and decide based on what you find.

Allergy stuff aside, breastmilk is marginally better and statistically is unlikely to make a difference to your child's health. That doesn't mean it doesn't have other benefits (convenience, maybe bonding etc.) for individuals who choose to do it because it's right for them.

However, it shouldn't be promoted as aggressively as it is. That approach has caused physical harm to babies and emotional damage to mothers (some research shows that mothers who wanted to breastfeed but were unable to do so were far more likely to develop PND, for example).

I support a woman's right to breastfeed wherever and as long as she likes; provision should be made by employers, information should be easily available etc. But to pretend it's some kind of magic healing potion is both harmful and inaccurate.