Want to exclusively FF

[justpoppingintosayhello]

I'm being made to feel inferior because I want to formula feed my baby, how do I carry on with this? I'm being made to feel bad because of my choices.

I don't think it's worse to be honest. If the mum is struggling mentally or too exhausted its better to ff Imo. And I'm not making myself feel better I really don't care what anyone else thinks! The "breast is best" mantra isn't helpful for anxious mothers that can't bf.

'Fed is best'?? Surely that's the absolute minimum you have to do for your child. What a weird mantra.

If you think you're being judged you must think ff is not as good as bf. and I agree with Mainly, controversial as that may be.

I think fed is best is a tongue in cheek response to the constant breast is best rammed down expectant mothers throat

I was ff. Am perfectly healthy (touch wood) and like to think I am not as thick as mince. Had 4 dc - did a mixture of both bf and ff. Again, all seem to be fine.
Gave up on bf at 6 werks for dc4. Bloody stupid health visitor told me to stay in bed all day to increase milk supply so baby wouldn't scream the house down due to heing hungry. Don't remember her offering to come around and look after my other dc while I did so though! Gave dd a bottle and never looked back.

Honestly, I think thst if you can bf, even for a few weeks, it is best. But the sky won't cave in if you don't. Fair enough to pudh br if you live in a country with no clean water or ability to sterilise equipment, but most of us don't and your child is unlikely to suffer from ff.

'Fed is best' is in response to a number of babies who have been made ill (and apparently even died?) due to the aggressively pro-EBF policies of US hospitals.

When mothers aren't producing enough/high quality milk in the early days it can lead to hypoglycaemia, starvation jaundice etc. and ultimately to serious brain injuries. If you google it you'll find lots of parental testimonies and emancipated babies whose parents have been told to persist with bf.

I doubt that would happen in the U.K., thankfully, but the 'fed is best' sound bite is a response to that.

Emaciated babies, not emancipated! Autocorrect doesn't seem to know that word...

Well if I'd had to bf I wouldnt have had dc at all, just wasn't an option I considered.
I never ever felt judged about it either, but then I generally don't care what people who don't matter to me think .
OP do what you want and ignore anyone who tries to suggest you are doing anything wrong

I had breast cancer when I was 30 and had a double mastectomy. I just had my miracle baby (I was told chemo had left me infertile) and had so many lectures at the hospital and from visiting midwives about breastfeeding without even considering that there are many reasons why some women can't or don't want to. I found it very upsetting to have to explain over and over again. I miss my breasts massively and feel like less of a woman because of the surgery I had to have. They have now made me feel like less of a mother too.

Stick to your guns. Your body. Your baby. They shouldn't make you feel bad.

Fartniss that's really interesting! I'm going to have a read! Bell congratulations!!!!! How amazing, please don't let anyone ruin this for you! Just enjoy that beautiful bubba!!!

ODFOD mainly and pizza it's not a competition.

I in no way say fed is best tongue in cheek one of my friends had severe PND because she couldn't breastfeed and felt so bad about giving her baby formula.
I myself have severe PND and anxiety one of the only things I don't obsess over is how I choose to feed because I couldn't breastfeed and I'm certain formula is the best choice for me and my baby.

As long as your baby is gaining weight and happy you are doing the best for your child.

why the fuck does it have to be my way is better than yours. We're all just getting through the days and nights the best way we know how a little more support and a little less judging would go a long way.

ODFOD too Pizza. Fed is definitely best.

I am loving the mantra Fed is Best. I wish it had been around when I had DD1. I would have been tempted to have it printed on a banner and displayed it from my front window.

OP- do what works for you. I know the chances are that I will have to FF (will restart medications I am currently not taking due to pregnancy- am pretty ill as a result) and am also not looking forward to being judged by a certain type of mother. Am reminding myself that ultimately their opinion means nothing in the grand scheme of things!

Ps. I personally can't take anyone seriously who uses the word 'oik' anyway...

Go for it. As long as baby is happy then it's fine. I bottle fed all three of mine and I don't recall any judging going on. It was what I wanted to do from day one and so that was that! In hospital midwives helped me choose the right teet and showed me where they kept the milk, all very simple. To this day no one has ever asked me how my babies were fed - I have no idea why anyone would even be interested.

Both of mine were formula fed. In my mind, it's pretty obvious that Breast is Best, but I still think that formula is definitely good enough. And if it's good enough, it's good enough!

At the end of the day , happy mum = happy baby ... no matter how you plan to feed , so long as baby is fed and happy that should be all that matters x

Don't be seduced by the 'happy mum = happy baby' mantra.

Sometimes mothers are absolutely not happy to be doing one thing rather than the other.

They are not happy to be breastfeeding.....but they continue, because it is important to them, and that is fine, and their choice. They should be supported in that, and helped, if they ask, for breastfeeding to be a better experience for them.

Or they are not happy to be formula feeding....but they have been 'bounced' into it, because of problems and they have regrets it did not go the other way. Of course they should be supported, but not by being told it doesn't matter, and my baby is now a PhD and six foot six, and so on.

This whole thing is often very nuanced, very individual, and comes filtered through emotion and experience and social context.

Reducing it to a pile of cliches - happy mum/happy baby; fed is best; as long as your baby is happy that's all that matters - is not really a way of helping anyone.

Sorry, MoodyOne, it sounds as if I am getting at you :) I'm not, especially, as all you did was echo the way many people talk about this whole issue. They try to help the discussion and the debate, but as this thread has shown, no one really learns anything new :(

And of course the OP was just trolling anyway....

What do you mean the OP was trolling?

How do you know?

Not saying that it happened on this thread but FF companies use MN and plenty of other social networks to promote their products by stealth.

OP "I want to ff but people are judging me", no further post about who is judging her (her DH? HV? MW? Uncle Josh? her friends? Who?) Of course MN is supportive because none of us enjoy being judged though of course we all are all the time.

Then Mainly comes along scattering hard facts and stats and the whole thread turns against her. Leaving participants on this thread with a wtw, why are BF advocates always so patronising? (Which of course they aren't, it's a handy cliché)

Of course BM is the better food, no doubt. But ff is pretty darn convenient and, above all, a save alternative food. If people don't want to give BF a go, it's their own choice, who should care? If MW tries to educate OP about the benefits of BF she should be grateful because somebody gives a shit. She can always say no that doesn't work for her but best to have all the facts no? Perhaps OP decided to ff before she knew about the lovely benefits of BF? Perhaps not? How is the MW to know?

We all judge. As long as you take greta care of your baby, you are fine. But let's not pretend that FF is on par with BF in terms of health, that is factually incorrect. Even if we live in post fact society, it is stille nonsense.

And as for BF being aggressively promoted? Well I don't think so. FF companies spend £££££££££ and $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ in marketing each year. Formula is aggressively promoted.

Plus I believe it's fair enough of the NHS to promote BF as evidence is rock solid that EBF until 6 months reduces the incidence of and hospital admission for respiratory disease, gastroenteritis and other acute and chronic diseases. If you are happy to take advantage of free health care it makes sense that your health care provider tries ether best to improve population health and save money. BF promotion should ideally not leave the pregnant woman feeling judged or patronised. But let's get some perspective, health care providers doctors and nurses often treat patients in a paternalistic way. Not good but BF promotion is part of that western medicine culture where the doctor or nurse is the expert and patent is to be enlightened with the ultimate wisdom.... not great and should change but BF is not unique in that.

I couldn't give a flying shit how anybody feeds their baby so I'm amazed that anybody would care how I feed mine. I formula feed, and make absolute no apologies for it, please do whatever you want to do.

Dame because MN said that to me when I reported the thread and poster.

Why haven't they deleted then? Weird!

I agree. Weird and annoying.