Want to exclusively FF

[justpoppingintosayhello]

I'm being made to feel inferior because I want to formula feed my baby, how do I carry on with this? I'm being made to feel bad because of my choices.

In reality there is no difference between FF and BF children much as certain people insist the is.

By the time you're battling the teen years no one gives a flying fuck anyway as you're coping with far bigger issues.

Someone give me a logical argument as to why it is ok then?

I've offered my opinion and have mostly been countered with ,it's none of your business'.

Explain to me why it's ok to put your needs above that of your child's on such a fundamental health issue?

Pertie - because I don't believe any potential benefits of breastfeeding outweigh a mother's decision, for whatever reason, to choose to formula feed as that is a completely acceptable alternative.

They're not 'rights' they are just rights.

Your body, your baby, your decision.

I bet you wish you never posted on here. All I want to add is be confident to know what's best for you and you're baby. If you're unsure try BF and see how it goes or try combination feeding if you are sure don't read any further judgemental messages. We all know in an ideal world every new mum would BF but it isn't right for everyone (or possible for a few) and what is right is you being happy. If you BF and are deeply unhappy it isn't best for baby as they will pick up on your emotions.

It's really interesting that no one has actually posted any links to robust evidence. The problem is that the vast majority of studies looking at the effects of BF are observational studies and therefore absolute causality is almost impossible to prove. For example, we already know that mothers from lower socioeconomic groups are less likely to BF, and we also know that deprivation has a wide reaching effect on both child and adult health. See the issue? I'm not debating the fact that BF is beneficial, but the benefits are modest, at best.

Dame - but he hasn't lived his whole life yet has he? So you don't have any clue what impact being FF has had

Stop it with your vaguely threatening language, it's beyond a joke!

Pertie why do women need to stop putting their rights ahead of their baby's? If both are healthy and happy explain to me why.
You could say that about women having abortions, going back to work etc etc. Some women balance the needs of themselves and their babies and reach the conclusion that they feel would be best for them both.
And you absolutely were comparing FF to physical & emotional abuse. You said if FF was no one else'so business then nor was abuse. Willful ignorance of the difference between the two things. You surely can't be that blinkered. If you knew a child was being abused you would have a duty to do something. This is not the same as knowing a child has been FF!!

Twenty - don't disagree that the decision is that of the mother. But that doesn't make it correct. And that doesn't answer my point about the rights of the baby? Where do they factor in? Or are they not deemed equal to that of the mother because they cannot verbally express an opinion?

Tubby - that makes no sense. You'd happily chose Brand B in my antibiotic analogy then? You don't think the opportunity to maximise your babies health outweighs a mothers desire to put a bit of effort in?

Women need to stop putting their 'rights' ahead of those of their child.

Yes, because six weeks of breastfeeding is worth it if the mother then kills herself due to postnatal depression exacerbated by the stress of persevering with breastfeeding when she didn't want to do it. So worth the years of emotional trauma that will follow.

Jeez is this still rumbling on?

It is a woman's god given right to decide what she is going to do with her body, from the point of conception and the decision to continue with a pregnancy, to what she puts into her body during that pregnancy, to the way she births that baby and if she chooses to have all the drugs in the world or nothing at all, to the way she chooses to feed that baby.

Breastfeeding is not a "fundamental health issue" - it is a way to feed your baby. There is also another way to feed your baby. Either one of those ways of feeding a baby is adequate. How stupid can some people be that they don't understand this?

When I became a mother, I didn't give up my right to choose what is best for me. I may CHOOSE to put myself second 75% of the time, as generally mothers are biologically designed to do. We'd maybe stand in front of a bullet for our children, do anything to help them succeed, help them get a decent education.

But when balancing the NEEDS of a new mother with the NEEDS of a new baby, and that new baby has a perfect alternative to breastmilk, the NEEDS and the choice of the new mother comes first.

You've got to be a special sort of stupid not to get that.

Dame it's not threatening?! It's just a fact. BF protects against many health conditions that don't present until later life. So saying 'he's healthy' as a teen offers no evidence whatsoever that FF hasn't had a negative impact on him. You can't know until a person has lived their whole life.

How will you know when they have lived their while life? Oh right, you won't

Thanks for the reports on this thread. As you can see, we've already deleted some posts which broke our talk guidelines and were really not in the spirit of the site.
Discussions like this often get heated but we'd like to remind you that Mumsnet is here to make parents' lives easier. While we encourage healthy and robust discussion, we hope that everyone can respect each other in their choices and express their views without resorting to personal attacks.
We're sure you'd all agree that parents-to-be and new parents need all the support they can get.
After all, this parenting lark is hard enough without facing judgement and criticism for those choices.
Peace and love to you all.

welshweasel well said. There are numerous other factors involved in the benefits of breastfeeding. From everything I've read, the benefits of BF on its own, minus other factors (such as how nurturing BF mothers are in general, socioeconomic background, etc), are miminal. I would rather give my baby formula and a happy mum than breast and a miserable one. To me, the benefits of a mother's good mental health on her baby are the most important.

Pertie, I don't believe breastfeeding is better for the health of a baby than formula feeding. Ok? With this is mind, I chose the option most suitable for me.

Ovaries - I haven't said anything about anyone doggedly continuing despite not wanting too.

My point is, you cannot know how you are going to feel about something unless you try it. Give a few feeds and hate it? Decide it's doing your mental health no good? Fine, you have given it a go.

To deny your baby the best start because you think you possibly might not like something? Indefensible.

Exactly dame - which is why you base decisions like this on evidence based data and trials. Which say BF is the best choice - so again, why not just try?

Argh! You don't know you will be miserable doing it unless you try!

Well, it's a good job aa adult women no one has to 'defend' their choice, least of all to you Pertie

tubby at least you have the honesty to admit your decision was for you, and not the best for your child.

pertie so insulting. Leave her alone.

Go back and read Tubby's post again as that's not what she said.

Yep, hugely insulting.