Please give me some responses (sensible and flippant equally appreciated) for my Dh's unsupportive questions/comments about extended breast feeding

[popsycal]

FFS
I feel ill
I have to respond to questions about breast feeding regularly from family and friends. The least I expect is DH to be supportive. Well, at least not critical.

But tonight, he has just confronted me with:
'so give me a ball park figure (twat) for when you are going to stop breastfeeding'
'whenever ds2 wants to'
'people think it is getting ridiculous'
'which people?'
'just people. my mum, people I work with'
'what does your mum think is ridiculous and what has it got to do with people you work with who don't know me and who i have never met?'
'but it is getting ridiculous'
'is it?'
'yes - he would be sleeping through by now if you did not breast feed?'
'would he? which research is this based on?'
'my research (twat)'
'where is your research?'
'in here.... (twat)
'what are your objections?'
'it is getting ridiculous'
'what is ridiculous?'
'that he is nearly two and even people who breast feed think it is ridiculous'
'why?'
'why do you have to do it for so long? you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons'

at which point i left the room before i exploded
so bloody cross

Popsycal.
Do it until you feel that you do not want to,or that baby does not want to.

I breastfed ds only until 4 months cos I was going back to work.

DD has just given up at nearly 14 months-her call not mine.

At a year I got lots of horrid comments from dp,mil and colleagues.She was not ready to stop.

I am not a militant breastfeeder.All babies differ and it should be wholly your/your babies choice.The disapproval did upset me but I persevered.It was hard.I have not breastfed for 3 nights as dd had had enough.

Am still feeliung a bit emotional,I am letting go of that part of babyhood,but she was ready.You will know when your baby is ready to stop.

Sending you support.

I just don't agree - I've breast-fed all mine and didn't find it particularly pleasant or unpleasant. I remember the first time my dp fed each of them with a bottle as very moving as he was desperate to share that closeness with his babies.

But you cannot decide that every womans experience is going to be the same as yours.

I haven't

Women aren't bonkers because they felt sxomthing you didnt.

that was a joke Hercules

You said it was like weeing, pooing etc. For you , maybe. For most women and cleary popsycal it isnt.

Oh, right.

what's your problem? Popsycat has to do what is right for her and her family.

I dont have a problem. I was answering your posts due to this being a discussion board and all that.

Zookeeper,I am seriously not a militant bfer and would probably agree with you in some respects if I had not had dd who was a "difficult" baby who could only be soothed by feeding.DS would guzzle from a breast/bottle whatever but dd was completely different.It was her choice to stop at this point.Now if popsycal was really peed off with bf I would encourage her to try to wean off but it is other people giving her grief,I believe.

Pooing is indeed natural but no-one's arguing that their husband should have a say in when and where and for how long they poo.

Joining this thread v late, but personally, I think boobs belong to the person they are attached to, and what they choose to do with them is entirely their own choice. I have no problem with people feeding babies/toddlers etc as for me, its the most natural way (I have issues with cows milk on the other hand lol).

For the people who have expressed views about toddlers breastfeeding - until the toddler is feeding from YOU I can't really see how its any of your business. Horses for courses etc and I'm sure you do things others find less then pleasant that are far from as natural as breastfeeding.

Popsyl - nothing to add but good luck with it all and keep up the feeding until YOU and your son want to stop, not when others tell you to xx

Would you mind not using the term 'militant' when talking about breastfeeders'. . There really is no connection

Oh, good point spidermama.

I'not having a go at Popsy - far from it as her dh sounds as though he is being horrible but I don't think he should be dismissed as a "twat" and I'm not comfortable with the opinion (not put forward by Popsy) that only the woman should decide on these matters.

So, zookeeper, who should decide on using an epidural if the woman wants to and the man doesnt? Or will you dismiss my question as me having a problem with something?

what a moronic comparison

Why? How so?

Oh but Hercules, some of his friends and his mum might not approve of epidurals. That should surely count more than her feelings.

Sorry,it just seems to me,from personal experience,that if you breastfeed a baby at over a year you are perceived as some kind of loon!!!I was possibly being a little touchy!

Sorry to dissapoint you but I don't disapprove of breastfeeding, extended or otherwise. I do feel that it can make the father feel excluded and that he deseves some sympathy for that.

Excluded from what, exactly?

that wasn't intended for you wrinkly -cross-posting

I guess it depends on the father then really. Personally I would have little sympathy for a grown man feeling excluded because his child was being breastfed. There are a thousand things a father can do.