Please give me some responses (sensible and flippant equally appreciated) for my Dh's unsupportive questions/comments about extended breast feeding

[popsycal]

FFS
I feel ill
I have to respond to questions about breast feeding regularly from family and friends. The least I expect is DH to be supportive. Well, at least not critical.

But tonight, he has just confronted me with:
'so give me a ball park figure (twat) for when you are going to stop breastfeeding'
'whenever ds2 wants to'
'people think it is getting ridiculous'
'which people?'
'just people. my mum, people I work with'
'what does your mum think is ridiculous and what has it got to do with people you work with who don't know me and who i have never met?'
'but it is getting ridiculous'
'is it?'
'yes - he would be sleeping through by now if you did not breast feed?'
'would he? which research is this based on?'
'my research (twat)'
'where is your research?'
'in here.... (twat)
'what are your objections?'
'it is getting ridiculous'
'what is ridiculous?'
'that he is nearly two and even people who breast feed think it is ridiculous'
'why?'
'why do you have to do it for so long? you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons'

at which point i left the room before i exploded
so bloody cross

benefits of extended breastfeeding

And here's a couple to coax out a smile...

too old and rampant breastfeeding

There have been a few threads on this before, and mears posted some great links, I'll try and hunt some out ....

popsycal - you're doing a great job in terribly difficult circumstances.

You know the breastfeeding and sleep don't necessarily link up. My dd2 is almost exactly the same age as your ds and is breastfed twice a day (she's nearly 2) and has slept through the night since 8 months. And I know plenty of bottle fed babies who wake in the night.

Breastfeed as long as you and your ds are happy.

I was thinking of this one.

Also some of these might help?

Alternatively, I'll come down and lecture him for you. I've never actually had the opportunity to get bolshie about it !

argh! I am so cross with him on your behalf.
it isn't the least bit ridiculous. how OUTRAGEOUS to call you selfish!
he is being selfish himself, thinking of his needs (not to be embarrassed presumably ) and not yours or ds's...
If he was mine I would tell him to F off and grow up.

actually, no I would probably say something like - the sleeping is totally irrelevant. I am not being selfish. This is something I want to do and that ds2 wants me to do so I suggest that you are either supportive or keep your mouth shut about it because tbh you are making yourself sound like a twat.

Sounds like he is surrounded by people who think feeding babies over 6months/a year subsititute arbritary age here, is deviant/weird/not natural (hah!) etc etc.

They can obviously see he is veering towards their opinion so are not wasting an opportunity to have a go. Does his mum want more babysitting/access to kids does she possibly see it as a methid of preventing her achieving this?

Poor you. Is it getting in the way of anything he wants to do? Or you want to do?I ask as a (whipers) tandem feeder of a gasp 2.8 and a 5monther!

Right, I've done my best to be helpful, now I can be cross too. How very dare he!! He doesn't have a single shred of evidence to support his view, and loads of babies don't sleep through until they are ready to. Just sounds hugely selfish to me. If he doesn't want to be embarrassed about it, then he needn't discuss it with his mum, work-mates or all and sundry (not for a minute that i'm suggesting you hide) but for heaven's sake it's not a big deal! And they're not his norks, they're yours, to do with as you please!!!

tandem feeding! how ludicrous! attention seeking behaviour I call it

I've experienced the same. Your dh will learn not to give too much information to people if he's not sure of their response.
Carry on, especially since your baby has been poorly, you would feel much worse if he was poorly and you couldn't tit him wouldn't you.
BTW is dh a banker? I mean ball park?
Good luck with this

Twat, twat, twat.

Try "on his wedding day" for when you'll give up, that might make his jaw drop! I gave up at 6 months and have spent the last 3 wishing I'd carried on. I think it's up to you as it's you who has to get up, feed him etc etc

Too right HC! As you can imagine I do it in public all the time .

i always say if he has to go away to university then maybe i'll have to think about it

he's asking for a slap rather than any reasoned response imo.
ask him when he's planning on giving up being a twat?

Ask him why he needs to discuss your tits with his workmates !

Seriously though, totally agree with trying to find out why he is being such a dick about it.

Dh has just been reading over my shoulder and anounced that "he is just a prick."

I guess this is the way you educate people - tell them they are a tw*t and a moron???

Seems like a sensibile approach

sensible

am i the only one who thinks this is weird then? ( or is brave enough to say so?!) especially tandem feeding!!!!YUK!
i know i am asking for a beating, but its my opinion and i KNOW lots of other people share it! breast feeding babies...great! BUT toddlers......NO! when they are old enough to ask for it then thats just plain WEIRD!

May I refer you to my previous link below? And that WHO recommend bf-ing to at least two years old? Could link to the natural age of weaning research which shows that naturally children should wean between the ages of three and seven if you'd like?

But it's far too late at night to start an argument.

yeahyeahyeah, really if you have nothing but ill informed prejudice and knee jerk reactions to offer, it is probably best to keep your ignorance to yourself.

ffs yeahyeahyeah away and read some links then once you are educated on the topic come back and discuss it. Otherwise you are the equivalent of a small child refusing to listen to reason/facts because you don't want to.

Oh and thanks v much for the yuk aimed at me who is the only person who has mentioned tandem feeding on this thread. But not in fact the only tandem feeder on it.

Oh and start your own thread yyy don't hijack popssy's with a row.

My ex was exactly the same and I ended up hiding every time I fed dd, which is obviously crap. Never really got to the bottom of it. B/f never seemed very much to do with him whether I did it or not - maybe that's the issue - he was excluded from it and felt like he had first rights over my body. Agree that you need to ask him what effect he thinks it has on him before being able to respond appropriately. My ex seemed to be worried that I'd still be b/f dd when she was a lot older - although still so what...?

Yeahyeahyeah you sound like my mother in law.
Goodasgold tentatively waves 'hello Linda'
More weird to stop bfing for the sake of dhs colleagues. ffs

i thought you would all say that sort of thing and obviously i know BFing is best for the child until a certain age, but i think you will find i am not the only one who thinks it is weird to bf a toddler.