Please give me some responses (sensible and flippant equally appreciated) for my Dh's unsupportive questions/comments about extended breast feeding

[popsycal]

FFS
I feel ill
I have to respond to questions about breast feeding regularly from family and friends. The least I expect is DH to be supportive. Well, at least not critical.

But tonight, he has just confronted me with:
'so give me a ball park figure (twat) for when you are going to stop breastfeeding'
'whenever ds2 wants to'
'people think it is getting ridiculous'
'which people?'
'just people. my mum, people I work with'
'what does your mum think is ridiculous and what has it got to do with people you work with who don't know me and who i have never met?'
'but it is getting ridiculous'
'is it?'
'yes - he would be sleeping through by now if you did not breast feed?'
'would he? which research is this based on?'
'my research (twat)'
'where is your research?'
'in here.... (twat)
'what are your objections?'
'it is getting ridiculous'
'what is ridiculous?'
'that he is nearly two and even people who breast feed think it is ridiculous'
'why?'
'why do you have to do it for so long? you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons'

at which point i left the room before i exploded
so bloody cross

Christ is it so hard to understand that a father may want to feel bonded with his baby and if only the mother is feeding it then this might afffect him?

Well,possibly yes.However,I feel that any man worth his salt should realise that 1-2 years out of his life is a small price to pay for the sake of a happy,healthy child.Or maybe I am selfish.

Yes, it is. I think you will find there are stacks of ways any parent can bond with their child, feeding is just one of them. My dh bonded great with both of my kids. Not sure at all why breastfeeding them could have stopped that.

Why is feeding the only way a father can bond with his baby?

I wonder how many hang-ups about food the women who say that sort of thing have? [idly fanning flames]

I think DH should be circumcised, he doesn't want to, can I go after him with shears?

You paint a pretty poor picture of men.

if he wants to bond with his baby he might want to try getting up with him in the night on the odd occasion.

Perhaps he feels excluded because he suffers paranoia as a result of his persistant dope smoking?

I think, he says too much and does too little.

But, Popsy has needed to make (and now has) a decision on the way forward. Her indeciciveness has possibly not helped matters, but, that probably stems from the utter lack of support from her DH.

I cant believe this has degenerated into a discussion about shitting, ffs!

I can understand that it may be difficult and the guy feel a bit pushed out.DP has been really chuffed that he has settled dd to bed with a bottle for the past few nights.In the scheme of things,though it isn't a lifetime is it.Taking a long view.

Yes hunker, you may go after DH1 with the shears.

If a child is nearly two I am sure that he is mainly feeding himself! What's the bloke going to do, start giving him a bottle at two? Breastfeed him himself? He can bond with him by taking him swimming/giving him a cuddle, reading him books, making his tea, tucking him in at night, chasing him in the park, pushing him on a swing, making a cake with him, playing with trains with him, teaching him to kick a ball and on, and on, and on. And frankly, I rather think he might have bonded with him already.

What about nappy changing, sling carrying, cuddling, reading stories, singing, carrying, talking to, kissing? You dont need milky breasts to do these?

Well said Aloha.

And you wonder why so many women bottle feed

sigh, back to the insults again. Please try to discuss it rather than insult. I've not resorted to this despite your comments.

going to him when he cries at night, swinging him around, throwing him in the air, putting him on his shoulders, taking him to the zoo, getting him dressed in the morning, blowing bubbles with him, running around the living room making lion noises, taking him to Sainsbury's. How, if breastfeeding is no more important that going to the toilet, is it also so important that it stops a bloke bonding with his two year old son?

Zookeeper, what do you mean by that?

I think you're being offensive to both breast and bottlefeeders, but I'd like to see you clarify that post before I make that assumption.

I am so tempted to say your comments make me want to breastfeed but that would be childish.

Yes, women choose to formula feed to spite b/feeders, clearly....

As I said, offensive to both bfers and ffers.

It is possible to formula feed and still think that a parent can bond perfectly well wiht their child without feeding them.

I do feel like I am stating the obvious.

So what would you WANT women to do Zookeeper.All stop bf at 6 months?

ZK, I think you're trying to wind people up here - I would suggest not rising to it, ladies.

You're right, hunker.

You are hercules. I'm quite astounded that we actually need to though.......

It's the smugness I dislike, eg telling people when they can or can't say militant, and the general air of preciousness about breastfeeding that I find hard. It's as though you're all waiting for me to disapprove when in actual fact I have no particular feeling about breastfeeding, extended or otherwise. It's really not a big deal