Please give me some responses (sensible and flippant equally appreciated) for my Dh's unsupportive questions/comments about extended breast feeding

[popsycal]

FFS
I feel ill
I have to respond to questions about breast feeding regularly from family and friends. The least I expect is DH to be supportive. Well, at least not critical.

But tonight, he has just confronted me with:
'so give me a ball park figure (twat) for when you are going to stop breastfeeding'
'whenever ds2 wants to'
'people think it is getting ridiculous'
'which people?'
'just people. my mum, people I work with'
'what does your mum think is ridiculous and what has it got to do with people you work with who don't know me and who i have never met?'
'but it is getting ridiculous'
'is it?'
'yes - he would be sleeping through by now if you did not breast feed?'
'would he? which research is this based on?'
'my research (twat)'
'where is your research?'
'in here.... (twat)
'what are your objections?'
'it is getting ridiculous'
'what is ridiculous?'
'that he is nearly two and even people who breast feed think it is ridiculous'
'why?'
'why do you have to do it for so long? you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons'

at which point i left the room before i exploded
so bloody cross

and hunker I'm just expressing my views that's all.

dd was bf for a year and ds is still being bf at 6 months and both of them have always been complete and utter little daddies kids.... they run to him when they're upset, they love nothing more than to be huged and carried by him, they are calm for him in 2 seconds when they've been crying for me for hours.

Therefore i simply do not accept that bf-ing affects the way a baby bonds with it's father as it clearly does not. Even while still bf-ing dd i remember being amazed at the bond between them and dp has never once felt 'excluded' by me bf-ing... his words not mine. He's read this thread with even more shock and outrage on popsy's behalf than me.

I 'never' thought that dd would give up of her own volition but she did - one month before being 3. she just stopped

Mind you I have been very lucky that dh was sooo supportive. Tell your dh that when ds is ready he will stop

Using terms like militant etc is pretty insulting. It's generally accepted as being unacceptable. Not everyone realises that hence why I asked with smiles if it wouldnt be used as it's not very nice to use when talking about breastfeeding. I have to say that was said pretty late in the discussion though.

Why do you find it hard? Especially if you are non-plussed about it? Not really sure what your point is. Hence my feeling that you are just here to stir the pot a bit for your own entertainment.

not at all veni

Sorry.

Seems I should have read the rest of the thread when I didn't!!!!

I only really read th OP and tried to give my opinion on that- eek

ZK, I don't get why you are posting if you don't have strong feelings one way or the other. And if you don't, why be offensive to other women who bfeed and then say "it's enough to make me bottlefeed" if they mind?

ah yes, regarding the sleep. You can sort out the night issue and carry on feeding.

I sorted the night feeding out when dd was 2 but carried on feeding her at bedtime and the occasional comfort feed till she was 2 and 11 mo

So, you think a father should be able to bond with his child. Thats quite right. Do you think that a mother b/feeding twice a day (for 10 mins a time - tops) and when the child wakes in the night really gets in the way of that? Anymore than say - only a woman ever giving birth to a child?

Have bobbed on to sertain comments and WAAAHHHH- I really can't believe some of the ignorant comments on erhee and perhasp certain peeps should toddle off and read the MN philosophy about be9ing supportve of each others parenting choices

Bloody selfish women, wanting all the giving birth glory

WHY they can't let the men have a go sometimes...

VVV- honestly - Ignore whoever said that.

They are obviously baiting

I would gladly have let dh give birth and breastfeed!

Hunker- same goes for you my dear. I am totally riled by the bloody ignorance shown here but let's not raise to it eh- ............

esp in the first few days 3when my nips were bleeding and i was sooo sore from giving birth

I'm not rising to it.

I'm arsing about.

There's a difference

God, I've just realised how unsupportive I would have been if DH had been the one giving birth and bfeeding.

I'm a bastard!

I'd have snored. And said "oh ffs!"

I'm a terrible father!

I don't have strong views either way about breastfeeding but I do have views about holier than thou breastfeeders. We all know them and I sincerely believe that they put a lot of women off trying it.

Poppsy, I am sorry that this thread is turning out like this - I hope it works out for you. I was simply trying to make the point that your dp may be feeling pushed out

I'd have been mumsnetting during contractions.

hunker.... it's ridiculous taking all the credit for ourselves, poor men standing on the sidelines just desperate to bond with the baby in that way and we just won't let them

Zookeeper - there are no holier than thou breastfeeders here. REally. You cant expect to keep saying stuff like that and people not to get narked at you.

hercules.... i was MNing between contractions

really Hercules? Pixiefish?

I meant during his contractions!

Sorry HM.

Old vino had an effect on my reasding skills adn came to this discussion late.

Read a few comments that got to me.

When dd was a baby I was gonna stop bfing when she was 5 months old. Various things happened, mainly excema dna i carried on till she was 1 then onwards and do you know what- then i found la leche and realised it was better for her if i carried on.

SHE made the decision to stop on Dec 5 th last month. Everything else has been Baby led so why not this