Please give me some responses (sensible and flippant equally appreciated) for my Dh's unsupportive questions/comments about extended breast feeding

[popsycal]

FFS
I feel ill
I have to respond to questions about breast feeding regularly from family and friends. The least I expect is DH to be supportive. Well, at least not critical.

But tonight, he has just confronted me with:
'so give me a ball park figure (twat) for when you are going to stop breastfeeding'
'whenever ds2 wants to'
'people think it is getting ridiculous'
'which people?'
'just people. my mum, people I work with'
'what does your mum think is ridiculous and what has it got to do with people you work with who don't know me and who i have never met?'
'but it is getting ridiculous'
'is it?'
'yes - he would be sleeping through by now if you did not breast feed?'
'would he? which research is this based on?'
'my research (twat)'
'where is your research?'
'in here.... (twat)
'what are your objections?'
'it is getting ridiculous'
'what is ridiculous?'
'that he is nearly two and even people who breast feed think it is ridiculous'
'why?'
'why do you have to do it for so long? you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons'

at which point i left the room before i exploded
so bloody cross

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Could someone please explain to me how the following comments are correct? Please?

people think it is getting ridiculous

you are being selfish. it is nearly all for selfish reasons

breast feeding babies...great! BUT toddlers......NO! when they are old enough to ask for it then thats just plain WEIRD!

genuinely intesrested

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You won't get further than that, Popscal because there is nothing else to say. Oh, apart from making them clingy, bitty and for more peverse reasons.

As spidermama said these threads tend to show up ignorant ill informed view from people who have no experience of breastfeeding past a few months old.

He needs a kick up the arse, excluded, really.

Don't take it personally popsy. The Bitty Brigade are out spoken and offensive and frankly not very bright on this issue.

You have to let it wash over you and pity them if you can find it in your heart.

trying to address loads of posts and keep cross posting
'i have done my bit' - how do you know when your 'bit' is done? How is uit done now yet was fine a year ago? Would love to tell ds2 no -I have done my bit'. He own't drink milk, eat yoghurt or cheese yet will have breast milk. What to do.

As for understanding his point of view. That I should piss off with my pop psychology or whatever his phrase was? That he is embarrassed in front of his work mates? I spend my whole life understanding and accepting his point of view about everything.

As for my norks. Are they not mine? Am I not doing what they were designed for? If ds2 was too old, would they not have stopped producing milk? (not sure who it was that brought up the whole 'maybe he wants your boobs back' line)

Tbh, I don't have a stance on BFing per se, as I haven't yet given birth to my first baby. (Although I do think that ultimately should be the decision of the mother).

I just thought the way he spoke to you was bang out of order.

'is there something else wrong with you two?' - clearly cod. would your husband speak to you like that? there is clearly an issue

this whole 'maybe he feels excluded' thing - do you think I ought to feed him too?

boboodeedoo - thank you. I thik that you have summarised really clearly the main substance behind my anger - thank you.

Popsy, on the sleep issue, can I just add that if you're still feeling poorly tomorrow night then it's probably not the best time for you to try and nightwean ds2 again. I just think it might be a bit too hard on you, and it would only dent your self-confidence/esteem still further if it didn't work out, which is probably not what you want at the moment.

I've said it before and I'm sorry to be saying it again, but can your DH really not see that by helping out with the night-weaning, it's a win-win situation?????

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I think perhaps what some of the other posters meant was that there is no good response to his comments, because this isn't really about breastfeeding is it?

I would not tolerate my dh speaking to me like that. But if he did, I wouldn't think it was to do with the subject we were discussing.

Not much help really. Sorry.

thanks cod

can no one appreciate how bloody soul destroying it can be when the one person who should support you and be on you side is so deluded and irrational?

may be not
and without wishing to be melodramatic, maybe it is time for a MN break

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I am 'flighty' as i am fed up of having to justify myself and my choices to the world and his dog

I would love to know what a 'compromise' would look like in this instance

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Really?

My breasts are mine.

my breasts are mine - not ds2's or* DHs!

cod - spit it out - what are you alluding to

My breasts are my breasts all the time.

I'm sure someone has mentioned this, but there are a lot of posts...

It sounds to me that your husband is jealous. He probably assumed that your norks would "belong" to him again by now.

If he is so embarrassed by it, why does he insist on bringing it up in conversation with his workmates? Surely it doesn't just come up? Does anyone bring that sort of thing up in male conversation?

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Popsy, I think what cod may be alluding to is how 'relations' are with your DH.

Which is pertinent I suppose. Do you and DH have much of a sex life at all atm?