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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Serious question: why ^are^ many of the pro-b/f amongst you so rabid?

393 replies

Pruni · 26/08/2006 17:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:05

Like most of these threads it started jokily. I don;t think you lot though (and I know I;lll get picked up on that "you lot" - fair game)- realise just how rabid you are. the whole bfeeding/no junk food stuff does many a head in. You can be pro without being antagoinistic- why is there such a divide when most of the bottllefeeders on here would happily agree that breast is best? Its the little undercurrent of "oh well if you only tried a little bit harder like I did" that runs through these threads that is so damaging. Read moondogs thread if you dare, and just look at what normally reserved posters are saying......

Joolstoo · 27/08/2006 00:05

Hunker - I can only speak for myself of course but if someone is posting for support in bf no-one wishes more than me than she gets it and succeeds (no eye rolling here). I have no problem, and why the hell should I, if someone proffers advice on continuing to breastfeed whilst taking medication or through other difficulties and no, you really shouldn't keep quiet.

What I find objectionable is the redtop type headline threads, yes, like moondogs that have only one objective. The oh so smart comments about 'reasonably' intelligent women, (nudge, nudgy) the posts with a disagreeable undertone and usually ending with a .

I have no sad story to relate about why I didn't breastfeed, as I'm sure you're fully aware by now I simply did not want to. Does this make me a bad mother? Ask my children.

sancerre · 27/08/2006 00:05

So appropriate (or not?!) maybe Pruni's title/OP is just making up the balance then??
Agree though, this place is a bit ghettoized (is that a word?) sometimes.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/08/2006 00:07

You said...."Someone like notanotter gives a realistic view of bfeeding.......

I said...."Realistic from her point of view, JJ. Everyone's experiences are realistic, and just as valid, arent they? Crikey, why d"o people have to say they struggled, just to make their opinion valid? "

You said "Depends what they're talking about though doesn't it VVV- surely? My opinions on living on the breadline would be invalid- I haven't done it, someone with experience of only NT children would be invalid if they chose to pick up ds1 on his behaviour, likewise my opinion on why someone was unable to bfeed would be invalid without spending several days shadowing their life.""

So i said ""Well, thats what i mean by experiences, jimjams. They arent experiences, unless you have, well experienced it??? ""

Do you see why im confused, lol!

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:07

"Evolutionary psychology steers us to championing what is best for our offspring."

nah bollocks SW-you want your children to be better and more fertile than the rest so if bfeeding increases fertility you sure as hell don't want the other buggers to find out. None of this "good for the species" crap.

hunkermunker · 27/08/2006 00:07

JT, I love you

hunkermunker · 27/08/2006 00:09

Oh, and I don't think I posted on the junk thread - I may have done, but only towards the end.

But then I'm not a usually reasonable poster (or whatever you said [can't be arsed to scroll up to check])

JennT · 27/08/2006 00:09

hunker. I am def a slattern

fireflighty · 27/08/2006 00:10

I agree with Hunkermunker.

I also think it comes down often to how convinced different people are by the scientific stuff re breastfeeding.

If you think there's not much more benefit from breastfeeding than from formula, then I'd guess you're probably more likely to interpret almost any encouragement, help, advice re breastfeeding as evangelical zeal, rabidity, whatever. You're more likely to see 'rabid pro-bfers' on every corner.

At the other extreme, if you're sincerely convinced that the difference between breastfeeding and formula is big enough that many people who end up formula feeding (those who might have been able to avoid it with better support and info as opposed to those with insurmountable physiological or circumstantial probs, say) should consider themselves seriously let down by health professionals, conned by the industry's undermining of breastfeeding support etc., then what others see as rabidity you're far more likely to see as simple basic honest support and information.

How often does the scientific stuff actually get debated? Not often I think - everyone says they agree breast is best but actually how best they see it as varies loads between different people. Maybe if that debate was thrashed out first then there'd be fewer people arguing past each other about whether a particular way of talking about breast or formula constitutes rabidity, chippyness or whatever. A comment that seems blindingly obviously 'rabid' to one person (with one opinion of how 'best' breast is), is equally blindingly obviously 'normal encouragement' to someone else with a different opinion of how 'best' it is. In a way they may both be right about the comment - the real debate is in the underlying assumptions.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:11

err but notanotter has bfed - wiith lots of other children- which makes her experiences very valid. And yes I would say more valid than someone who has breastfed 1. If she turned up to my house when I was trying to bfeed ds3 and said "well what you need to do is rest" then I would think she was in cloud cuckooland. She doesn't seem the tyhpe to suggest that thoug:Luckily my (very pro-breastfeeding) midwife (childless) had seen enough different situations to talk to me realistitically about the situaion.

suzywong · 27/08/2006 00:13

but jimjams, my offspring have to have some of the other buggers to be fertile with. So it's the ones that don't smell of SMA that are in my "potential mates" category.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:13

firelflighty- but the people getting upset (not me I come in the irriated camp) are those who would agree that scientifically breast is best etc with bells on, but actually couldn't breast feed- and they're made to feel shit- how can that be good?)

hunkermunker · 27/08/2006 00:13

Suzywong, did you want this thing to kick off further?

misdee · 27/08/2006 00:14

is this still going on?

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:15

although generally individuals will choose mates who smell different to mate with. In our family your best bet for sesnible grandchildren would be ds3 (ff) I have to say

suzywong · 27/08/2006 00:15

my children, both extended BFee,s have woken me up at 6.40 am once again on a Sunday as bloody usual. I am merely sharing the wretchedness.

milward · 27/08/2006 00:16

In full force misdee - my respect post was just trampled underfoot in the rush

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:16

god knows what ds1 would produce. I dread to think. ANd ds2 is quite possibly gay so no luck there.

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/08/2006 00:16

I'm aware NAO has breastfed. I read her post, just as you did. As i said, everyone's experiences are valid. I found b/feeding my DD easy. Yes. EASY. Second time around I had severe difficulties b/feeding my DS. I was in abject agony for 9 weeks with everyone in my ear questionning my choices. However, It doesnt make my opinion any more valid than that of someone who didnt have struggles. OR, less valid than those that had 'worse' situations. It just makes my experience different. I really don't understand your point.

lusciouslynda · 27/08/2006 00:17

Suzywong, my wee ones have a whiff of Cow & Gate about them. Still no good eh?

And I get fingers wagged at me for saying fascist!

misdee · 27/08/2006 00:18

lol@your ds being gay JJ, i have the same concerns over dd2. she insists she doesnt like boys because they wear pants and show their bums.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:19

erm my point is that you don;t have the health issues that aitch had so your opinion on why she didn't bfeed- if you chose to get shirty about it- would be irrelevant. My original post was directed to aitch who was upset by moondogs thread.

Likewise if you chose to get shirty about ds1 sniffing your navel I would ignore you.

suzywong · 27/08/2006 00:19

Nope, back of the breeding queue. Sorry but those are my conditions

(dh's mother, and all her peers, were given tablets to dry up the milk immediately after giving birth )

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 00:21

PMSL misdee- although our lifes are kind of opposites in many ways- girls/boys I often feel they are in parallel. Ds2 lovels pink and bracelets and hates football, and cries when ds3 pushes him

VeniVidiVickiQV · 27/08/2006 00:22

I dont have an opinion on aitch's situation. Never did. I have an opinion on people thinking its acceptable to call "us lot" rabid, fascists (apology accepted ll ), Nazis etc etc, because they have "struggled".

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