Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Serious question: why ^are^ many of the pro-b/f amongst you so rabid?

393 replies

Pruni · 26/08/2006 17:12

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
noddyholder · 27/08/2006 16:56

Moondog I just think when you have strong views on something you do have to be careful how you air them I myself have strong views on smacking and have had to bite my virtual tongue on here a few times but thats another argument I mean story

justamum · 27/08/2006 17:06

if "rabid" translates as passionate rather than "mad and crazed" then i am happy to be referred to as "rabid". I don't usually post on bf threads except to offer advice when i feel i can be useful, but one of the reasons I think bfeeders are so passionate is because there is a strange and disturbing tendency in this country to regard bf and particularly extended bf as "odd" and something that should be done in private. i was at a country farm yesterday and was gobsmacked when the same family who had been cooing over a suckling calf gave me disapproving looks as i bf my dd discreetly in the cafe.

I think a lot of the problems come from a culture of ff amongst the poorest communities. I was desperate to bf my ds partly because of the sheer cost of ff and was wide eyed in amazement at seeing people claiming their free powdered milk. This must cost the nhs millions and imo shouldn't be offered as the norm. I personally cannot understand why people choose not to bf without even trying it, we are mammals ffs, that is what out bodies are designed to do.
however, i would never condemn someone who bf for medical reasons. my bf had a bad reaction to her epidural after an emergency cs and couldn't hold her ds for several hours after his birth, he was given a formula bottle after which she tried exhaustively to the point of her baby almost becoming dehydrated before giving up-her story is typical of many ff and it is unreasonable and insensitive to condemn them.
the whole issue is partly ignorance and partly cultural, i think pro bfeeders need to be passionate and outspoken till there is a seachange in public opinion on the issue and people regard bf as the obvious choice and formula as purely a fallback, which is the logical answer

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:29

It's interesting how actually calling formula "junk" creates such a stir... it is processed food... it is NOT what most babies in the world eat... it is from another species and it is well documented to be inferior to BM and YET some people can't take it ! (Don't tell me what i don't want to hear!)
If most Scandinavian women can easily BF - don't tell me most Brits can't (and for more than 6 weeks)... yes I know support isn't as good but from a BIOLOGICAL sense...
It is too easy to use all sorts of excuses not to BF... we use these excuses because loads (the majority) of people don't BF! and that somehow makes it ok... and I know plenty of people tried and didn't succeed........ and some try harder than others and that is NOT ok to say... but it is true! Sorry.
And if this post enrages those who tried and didn't succeed... than it does... take responsibility for your choices... we all make them... and some are better than others.... that's the way life goes ! I don't see why we should kind if say well formula is OK!

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:31

pupuce I'm fine with all of those. Im sure iirc it was because I had used formula (for a limited period for one feed a day), and they woould only allow you to donate if you exclusively breastfed. I just thought it was odd- they coould have got quite a lot out of me- had floods of milk with ds1. Weird...... Perhaps it was just that milk bank.

noddyholder · 27/08/2006 17:36

It is insulting to imply some of us wilfully feed our children 'junk' and by the way to go on and insult those who tried is a bit much I will walk away from this thread now especially as someone who so qualifies the OP has just turnes up

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:38
Grin
moondog · 27/08/2006 17:39

I don't imply some people willfully feed their kids junk.

I am stating it {here and elsewhere on MN!}

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:39

" wilfully feed our children 'junk' "
The thing is MOST people do not realise it is junk! It is processed food!.... Never mind !!!!!

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:40

Hi Moondog

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:41

velcrobott that is exactly the sort of post that is not helpful, and exactly the reason people get upset. I fed foor over 3 and a half years- I know how it works, but I couldn't feed ds3 (supply problems). I knew exactly what the solution was - bed, rest, frequent feeding until my supply established itself, but with a severely autistic 5 year old that wasn't going to happen. Now if someone so caring about my success at breastfeeding had come in and offered to look after ds1 and ds2 and do everything that needed doing, so I could concentrate on upping my supply with ds3 - and didn';t have to get up half way throough a feed to lift ds1 down from on top of the fridge freezer then great. But as my (very pro breastfeeding) midwife said " you have to be realistic".

Actual practical help is useful, telling people they just need to try harder without even asking their situation is not. At the time when I was attempting to establish breatfeeding with ds3, ds1 was still up at 11.00pm at night running around the house, so we were cooking and eating at 11.30pm. WOuld you have cared enough about my supply to have come in and taken over from 6.30am to 11.30pm (ds1's daily waking hours then, although he was aslo up in the night)? If not then telling me I could have "tried harder" is ridiculous beyond belief.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:43

oh noddyholder I'm off with you. Lets leave smugsnet to itself. They can have a halo polishing session. As you say Moondog and velcrobott together more than justify the OP- and no it doesn't include other breastfeeders coming on here dishing out help and advice because they want to encourage breastfeeding. Harpsi- you see the difference don't you? Surely?

Agree completely with MrsFios earlier post.

moondog · 27/08/2006 17:44

Erm,now you are implying that VB is referring directly to your highly unusual circumstances JJ.

She isn't.

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:45

Jimjams..... you know you tried very hard... you accept what happened.... you may have wished it had been different but you kow in your heart you did what was best with what you had... that is different to having trouble establishing BF, not asking for help or even asking help and choosing not to follow it through!
I am not holier than thou... I too have made choices I wish I had not but I accept them, and move on!

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:48

No I'm not moondog- I am saying (as I have repeatedly) that everyone has their own set of circumstances. All valid, but we still have to watch the halo polishing that goes on when we hear about how its all junk.

Living with unusual circumstances has taught me that I know bugger all about someone else's situation and so wouldn't be stupid enough to pass judgment.

velcrobott · 27/08/2006 17:48

Anyway thought I'd stir it up a bit... it's Sunday afternoon... need a bit of fun....
Off to work now....

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:51

I barely think about it velcrobott to be honest.I've never felt the wrestle of guilt over it. DS3 wasn't breastfed, so what? I don;'t believe he'll grow up to be delinquent because of it. Also suspect that bfeeding may have contributed to ds1's mercury load- no suspect is too strong- wonder. Life in this house is often shades of grey.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 17:53

Fun? Some people have been very upset on this thread and have stated that (formula feeders and breastfeeders) - you have a weird idea of fun.

moondog · 27/08/2006 17:53

On the contrary,JJ,you strike me as one of the most judgemental MNers.

Not that I see that as a failing however.

juuule · 27/08/2006 17:54

I don't usually post on this forum but thought I would add my thoughts. Although I've read a lot about why bf is better for babies, I have to admit that I have not seen any difference between bf and ff babies. I was ff and have been healthy (am now 46) as have my brother and sister. My dh was bf as were his brothers. I have nephews and neices that were ff and I bf all my babies. None of them seem better or worse off for the type of feeding. While I agree that human milk must be better for human babies I have not seen any detrimental effect in babies that I have known that have been ff.
My mother had no problems or hang-ups about ff as it was the done thing then. My sister felt only relief that she didn't have to bf. I felt better bf-ing. Thought it was the easier/healthier/cheaper option. Ff-ing didn't affect bonding for my mother with her children and my sister and her children are very close.
After my 1st ds I was in hospital for 3 days during which time he ff. When we came home I bf without any problems on his part (very painful on my part). I have bf in public and not expected any criticism and not received any. Maybe I've just been lucky but it wasn't a big deal - I was feeding my baby when he/she needed it. Having said that I very rarely needed to feed in public after 4-6months.
So my experience is that in the grand scheme of things it's not so big a deal for people to start slating each other for their choices. As with everything else people must choose what is the best option for their family.
However, I do agree that a heck of a lot more support should be given to help women to breastfeed.

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 18:20

opinionated? yes, certainly. But judgemental towards others choices? I would hope not. I certainly don't think I have made better decisions than anyone else in any aspect of my life.

Blossomhill · 27/08/2006 18:26

moondog ~ eh? jimjams is one of the most judgemental posters on mn

Hardly! Jimjams is one of the least judgemental and one of the most supportive poster on mn.

I don't get when you are coming from at all.

dinosaur · 27/08/2006 18:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Blossomhill · 27/08/2006 18:28

where you are coming from

Jimjams2 · 27/08/2006 18:32

I do tend to disagree with moondog quite a lot, so Iguess that's where it's from, but thank you BH and dino.

Now for more important stuff- if you have any ideas about the weeing (thread on SN) please help, am feeling ridiculously bothered by it, I know in the grand scheme of things it is insignificant, but it was one thing that was sorted, and has been for years.

bosscat · 27/08/2006 18:34

speaking of where MD is coming from - total change of subject. Moondog did you go to Speke Hall in Liverpool last summer? Sounds wierd but I was there and a woman was speaking what I thought was turkish to her two children and I thought "I wonder if thats MD from MN?" You just referred to your Chester Hospital and I thought it might have been you after all. If so I was sitting next to you.

Swipe left for the next trending thread