Serious question: why ^are^ many of the pro-b/f amongst you so rabid?

[Pruni]

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what about jimjams????

moondog you give welsh people a bad name
like franny gives lentil weavers one

oh sorry that was mass genrealisation

I do apologise

I can't believe how nasty people are getting on here. It's really quiet simple as far as I see it - breast is best IF YOU CAN. If you can't ff will not kill your child. We need to help women to bf in many ways sometimes that is practicle. I was only able to bf third child because we had an Au Pair, my second child was only 11months old when DS was born and the oldest was 3. We couldn't afford the Au Pair and went into debt to pay for her, but it was the only way I could have done it (and other things too). If we hadn't be able to do that I would have had to ff him - and judgemental comments would not have helped.

I haven't posted on this or any other threads for a while - nothing to add after I tried (and failed) to help moondog to understand why posters on internet forum topics discussing formula need to bear in mind that thoughtless words hurt the real feelings of real people.

Going back to the OP - I haven't noticed much rabidity anywhere, on mumsnet or in RL.

I do see that people who want to bf, and who don't get the right support in RL, and whose professional supporters in RL (you know, the people who are paid to know how to recognise effective bf, and to help to fix it before it gets totally f*ed), end up blaming themselves, or the fates, or bad luck or whatever.

Now, that does make me cross (not rabid). I am not cross with the mothers (as if....) but cross with a system that fails to educate its healthcare professionals in something as basic as how to feed a baby.

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the difference between what jimjams?
yes, I see moondog's comments can be inflammatory and unhelpful. And I have commented on that before. but she is a tiny tiny percentage - in fact she is ONE person.
put that against the huge number of breastfeeders who give advice and guidance on here day in day out.
like tik tok I don't really see this rabidity on here or in RL either. what I do see is lots of helpful and dedicated people being insulted, which I don't think can be justified by the remarks of one poster, do you?
if there is a problem with a particular poster or a particular thread, then say so. but to make unpleasant remarks about breastfeeders as a group and then say that is justified because moondog started a thread with a provocative title is illogical.
to quote you again:
"What I've found over years of mumsnet use is that when someone provides some sort of sweeping generalisation if you describe your situation they'll say "oh, well I didn't mean you" (and meanwhile you've seen read/have been ranting/sobbing etc) I do tend to have a reflex in place now where I will argue against any sweeping generalisation no matter what my actual views are on the subject, because I agree its damaging."

Saying "you lot are a bit rabid"/militant/fascist/holier than thou/smug" etcetcetc - it's damaging. Us lot? really? Is that OK? Is it OK

leaving aside the downright abuse the extended breastfeeders get. Abusive, sick and revolting.

ime jimjams is not at all judgemental and really hates seeing any post that is.

moondog, you are mischief making: i don't view that as a crime, but it certainly doesn't turn people on to what you are saying..

i'm massively pro-facts. also i believe that no one can make anyone feel guilty, and i really dislike the inference that that is possible. what people can do is tap into someone's sense of their own guilt/sadness etc.

having said all that, if you use very emotive language, you have to be prepared to take the flak (which you seem to be md).

rather optimistically i see that this discussion is seguing into an interesting one about milk banks and donated milk as an alternative to formula. wouldn't that be fantastic.

harpsi, i love you. please don't let any of this get to you in the slightest. rise above darling.

sophable, I love you too.

how is the chickenpoxy child? and how was your evening?

massively whinging upstairs. but was fine last night. as it turns out dh got manflu and came home at 9.30 anyway.

grrrrr

wedding was beautiful.

'also i believe that no one can make anyone feel guilty'

I know what you mean by that sophable but actually I don't think it's true - I think it would be better to say that no-one should be able to make anyone feel guilty, but we are talking about human beings with human frailties, not everyone has a thick skin and a strong heart and some worry about what people think of them.

the difference I'm referring to is between what people like tiktok and mears and pupuce and no doubt yourself write, and the stuff that velcrobott and moondog have come out with (on here).

I was an extended breastfeeder myself and have never felt remotely got at on mumsnet about it. Nor in the real world tbh. I wouldn't care anyway because as people on here have said breastfeeding is the best thing you can do for your child, if you're a breastfeeder you do have the facts and figures to back you up. As well as being an extended breastfeeder have also been a bottlefeeder and found myself to be far more "got at" in that group.

however maybe its all dowen to perception. For example I find the adult feeding scenes in Little Britain hilarious- even when I was extended feeding, whereas I find the mentalist woman ones less funny- they're borderline bad taste for me. Maybe it just comes down to what people care about.

"you lot" was certainly unfair- which I noted at the time- the issue is a certain type of post- which has been deomstrated on this thread- they're easy to spot and I think anyone either side of the great breastfeeding divide would find them unecessary.

Anyway I am saying no more on this now- have other worries tonight- I thought it would be ignorant not to reply as you seem to think I am saying you personally were rabid- which I am not.

thanks jimjams, yes of course I see the difference and I do think generalisations are damaging, you are so right about that.

Can I just say - get a grip people! LEAVE IT!
Just been watching programme about the equator, where I learned that in the congo, 6 out of 10 children die before their 5th birthday.
How fecking blessed are we? We can all feed our children (in one way or another!) and can be fairly confident they are not going to die of Malaria, AIDS or ebola. Count your blessings, cuddle your babies and forget all this madness.

lol Bosscat
No it wasn't me.
I am in Turkey and have been for the last month.
Anyway,I speak Welsh to my kids.

I would never let what any one posts make me feel, inferior, upset,etc. I am strong enough to read information posted and make my own decisions.
Who knows in the future what things we have eaten drunk or taken when breast feeding will be harmful. I for one dont know, the same goes for formula It has good things in and bad things. It is up to you as a human beings who can think for your selves to make the decision you think is right.

I agree completely with Joolstoo's last post (and we don't always agree! ) People can have a damn good go trying to make you feel guilty, IME (I'm not talking specifically about b/fing, btw).

But then I do admit to a nasty tinge of pro-breastfeeding rabidity at times. I appear to be the only one, though. Funny, that.

Cannot believe I missed this

""Evolutionary psychology steers us to championing what is best for our offspring."

nah bollocks SW-you want your children to be better and more fertile than the rest so if bfeeding increases fertility you sure as hell don't want the other buggers to find out. None of this "good for the species" crap. "

Ep is nothing to do with the 'good of the species'. From that perspective it is crap!