WHAT IS THE SMALLEST AMOUNT OF CALORIES I CAN HAVE? FEELING DIZZY.. i dont want to stop bf..but

[dreamingalone]

hello please help! few days ago I had 3 coffees and 2 apples. and it gave me the shakes and made me really dizzy,. i dont understand. i used to not eAt for a week or so before i had kids and was completly fine.. so i am assuming its down to breastfeeding. so i need to know the smallest AMOUnt i can consume while breastfeeding without feeling dead maybe 500?? what foods keep milk supply healthy but not to fattening and give energy, also what vitamine supliments will help if i am restricting , so i can put them in my 'safe foods' list. please tell me what the answer is to my question . i dont want to stop bf but i am finding this tough( baby is almost a year)..I dont need LEcture i just need some advice. so far ive lost 2 and ahalf stones in 3 months. now im at a stand still..

You recognised disordered eating here just a few days ago.
Read your own post.
I think all the correct advice has been given here.
I am out.

Do you think you'd be able to make an appointment to see your doctor and tell him/her what you've told us? I know it's not easy with the DC around... I just spent ages choosing a dentist's app't that was during DS' nursrey hours, then got home to discover it was during half term. Doh!

So if there's no problem ,then there's no problem and it's all good, but at least give yourself the chance to have a chat with your GP? That's the sort of thing they're there for. They'll probably give you a leaflet. All our family medical issues seem to be dealt with by either antibiotics or a leaflet...!

Well done on talking about your life.
Please keep updating us so we can support you.
Please go to your GP and/or speak to your Health Visitor, maybe show them this thread.
We all want to help you be the best mum you can to your children.

Lucozade is not fattening.. its just full of sugar which the body will eventually store as fat if it's not used up. Since you're not eating enough to sustain you I doubt that you'll have to worry about that.

Chewing gum is not a meal.. It's pretty obvious you're using gum to starve off hunger pangs.. despite saying you're stuffed.

It's also pretty obvious you're not going to listen to anybody.

girliefriend. Im abit confused how you think people cant survive on what i eat or less.. why dont you pop on youtube and time in 40day water fast. thats right theres people who survive not eating 40 whole days. and they dont die. who would have thought. secondly i have gone almost 2 weeks without eating (before kids) and was perfectly fine. abit spaced out. and hunger pains stopped on day 3. if i felt abit dizzy i drank half a cup of milk. and im hardly going to tell you how fat i am so that was stupid to ask. im not in the mood for an interigation. i didnt ask for people to just have a go at me. ive heard it its unhealthy got it.

gamer- i am listenting to some of you actually i dont get why people are getting so moody at me! gosh, im not stupid i know chewing gum isnt a meal i was just listing what i had.

And the lady who said i should have mentioned the situation with my husband and pnd on here. why would i do that? i dont see what that has to do with the question i was asking.

"Hi im in an abusive relationship and i have pnd.. anyway can you tell me the minimum calories i canhave"

that doesnt really make sence does it. its got nothing to do with this.

argh some of you are really bothering me. I MANAGE TO LOOK AFTER MY KIDS FINE. for goodness sake im not sure if your aware but there are PLENTY of mums who restrict. ive never passed out even when i used to super restrict. some of you are talking to me like im an idiot. im not. i know my head is messed up but the people who think its just easy to just have normal thinking doesnt know how freaking hard it is. you really dont and most of what your saying is based on no freaking experiance on history with eating disorders. its not a bloody choice. i didnt wake up one morning and decide to hate myself and restrict. alot of crap went down when i was a kid and it helped me cope. its hard to change somerthing that is just in my head. gosh if someone was ill with a physical ilness you wouldnt talk to them like there stupid. just because mine is a mental mess up doesnt mean im being selfish or dumb or whatever . i do the best for my kids and i try everyday not to have these thoughts about eating. sothose who are saying what example am i setting i freaking no thats why i eat infront of my kids and they both eat healthy balanced diet with everything in moderation. no concern for there weights one 75th centile just found out yest the other is now 98th centile. all these questions like what do you weigh , what the hell . thats the worse question to ask someone with a a mess up issue with weight and food. whats the point of that question to humilate me? and say your too fat to be eating that much. im having a bad day so can you just calm it down. i didnt write this post for you to just burst out with judgment if you think im a stupid person bad mum etc just leave me alone. and for that albi who says im taking it far you can get lost because i cant be assed with people making me feel even crapper. if you think what im saying is rubbish. and im making it all up how about you stop commenting?

Dreaming, I believe you and don't think you're a 'bad' mother either I don't think that's what people are saying.
I hope I answered your question in my post.

To the lady who asked how i lost weight when i was younger- I just didnt eat. anything at all really. sometimes i had some milk. and cucumber. Even at my prom i sat at the table while everyone was eating and did not have one bite. I remember my goal was to make it 2 weeks without eaating it was christmas time. i almost suceeded i thinkk i got to a week and ahalf. and i remember my aunti who came over on holiday to us trying to get me to eat a cucumber but i resisted. and i felt amazing. i loved getting to the end of that first week. everything seemed great. it made me feel powerfull being able to restrict my urge to eat food which is something that humans do. it made me feel strong and in control. were as .. at home was the complete opposite. i wasnt in control and i was pretty much my dads slave. it was torture. not eating is what saved me sounds strange but it helped me through some dark times. i know that its unlikely people fully recover from eating disorders but cut people like me some slack. it wasnt something i chose for myself. and i wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.

Mama1980 - Hi hun thank you so much for sharing your story thats so nice of you and im so sorry for the tough time you went through!! is eeverything okay with you ds2 now? your so lovely and i really apreciaite your message :) and i do actualy feel like i am going to be sick like when i drank that lucozade :/

Dreamingalone - I can hear the pain in your words, and I know I can't appreciate how hard it is to have an eating disorder, and the mixed-up thoughts that go with it, but I have suffered from PND and depression, and I know how hard it is to admit that you need help, and even harder to reach out and get that help.

I'm scared I am diving back into depression - I had a nasty virus over Christmas, and either I am still post-viral and not getting better as fast as I want to, or the virus has triggered the depression again - I know I should go to the doctor, but I haven't yet.

Maybe we both need to ask for some help.

I don't think this thread is helping Dreaming in the least.
Dreaming, you need professional support for your eating disorder.

See the problem is with starving yourself is you see it as control/weight/not being able to eat large amounts etc

I see it as lacking in the basic vitamins and minerals needed for your insides to work properly. have you any idea what a lack of some of these minerals does to your heart? your heart is a muscle and it needs to be fed... the body cannibalises itself just to keep you alive and you expect it to make milk as well? not to mention what you're currently doing to your bones. did you know we stop building bone at some point in our 20s and what has been built up needs to last the rest of our lives? I know reading that will mean absolutely nothing to you.

you mention people trying to get you to eat and how good you felt to refuse... have you ever managed to put yourself in their shoes.. watching somebody they love dying before their eyes? If one of your kids just stopped eating and said it made them feel good you would be supportive?

So going back to your original question... do yourself and your child a favour and sack off the breastfeeding.. go to your GP and get some real help.

Just chiming in with everyone who's said you should see your doc, particularly whoever's looking after your PND. I've had PND and I know how awful it is and how hard it is to reach out and say you need some help. I also think it sounds like you need to review your meds - from your posts it sounds like you're restricting food to make yourself feel less anxious and horrible, and that's really what your meds should be doing if they're working properly. I know I needed to tweak my dosage of sertraline at one point because it wasn't quite taking away the anxiety. With an older baby I'm pretty sure you can also breastfeed on some of the other SSRIs as well.

I don't think you're a bad mum, and I don't think there's much point in other posters berating you for not eating properly if you're not in a mental place to do that. I do think you sound distressed and unwell. Hope you get the help you need to feel better soon.

It's also, FWIW, really not helpful to tell a depressed, distressed breastfeeding mum to "sack off the breastfeeding", as if it was some kind of stupid indulgence. Having been there, like (and I didn't). Certainly for me with DS1 it was one of the few things I actually felt in control of and where I was being "a good mother".

Of course it's not enough

I'm roughly same height/ size by the sounds of it ( size 8, 5'4)

I woul have x2 boiled eggs, x2 pieces of toast, and the oranges just for breakfast. Plus lunch and dinner.

The average really is 2000 calories a day for an average person, who does an average amount of excercise. Lots of walking and breast feeding requires more.

In comparison I was tandem feeding my then 1 month old and 1 year old, weighed 8 stone, size 8, and needed at least 3000 calories a day to keep myself loosing weight or feeling shakey. That's approx 3 proper meals, 3 snacks and a few milky drinks

All these posts telling te op what other people eat and what she should be eating are reinforcing to her that she's better than that because se 'stuffs herself' with 2 eggs and feels full. It's disordered thinking, she can't be persuaded out of it, and thus thread is absolutely feeding in to that.

I agree. I don't think the OP is in any kind of mental position to just go "oh right, you're right, I should eat x instead". It's not something you can argue someone out of.

i would tell any woman who abuses her body to stop breastfeeding.

It's right though... this thread won't help the OP. i'm out.

OP I had PND and did Weight Watchers which, retrospectively, I can see I got far too obsessed with. PND and dieting are a bad combination and if you are prone to disordered eating anyway then being on a diet now could be really dangerous for you. Please go to your GP.

Also, you have had some fantastic advice on here and many, many posters have said how concerned for you they are. Don't be upset that people aren't saying what you want them to say. Listen.

"i would tell any woman who abuses her body to stop breastfeeding."

Yes, it might be physically good for that woman. It could, however, be otherwise disastrous for her if it's not something she wants to stop/is clinging on to, and if mental distress is why she's neglecting her physical health. Also breastfeeding isn't something you can just stop all at once once it's established, unless you want to also risk mastitis and a hideous hormone crash.

EIR- actually some people have really helped..

Gamer- thanks bye. there are people who i have felt helpful.

STG- im sorry you havent been well. its very common for people to tell others to get help but dont get help themselves :p thats for sure me , but honestly ring the gp and ask for a telephone consultation if you find that easier and tell them how your feeling :) you diserve to be happy.