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Infant feeding

Educate me: why would you not want your baby to have the colostrum if no medical reason?

238 replies

RainbowsFriend · 21/04/2013 18:22

Just found out that a couple of my social circle are not attempting breastfeeding second time around, but will be going for bottles from day one. No medical problems/issues, just said it would be easier to have bottles and a toddler than breastfeed.

I didn't want to pry, and I respect their choice of course, but I'm really curious why you would not even express the colostrum to give your child - I thought it was soooo important for the immune system.

I admit I'm a bit biased as I still bfeed DD 22 months, and do use it as a parenting tool to a certain extent. We massively struggled at first as DD had a missed tongue tie that wasn't picked up til 5 months, so I know what it's like to have pain and struggle, and I remember from when our toddlers were little that these mums had to give up fairly quickly first time around and know how difficult it was. But why not express a bit of colostrum?

So please let me know so I can understand better?

OP posts:
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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 10:57

It is offensive to assume - as the op did - that mothers don't want their dc to have colostrum.
I imagine many who cannot bf do want that but it cannot happen for them.
The only thing that came out of my breasts with ds1 was blood and by day 4 he was being fed ff through an NG tube.
It wasn't that I didn't want him to have my colostrum.
There wasnt any to have.
And I am not the only one, as you will see if of have read all the posts.
If only life were quite so black and white, eh?

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 10:59

...she also assumes that expressing colostrum is easy.
As many have said, that most certainly isn't the case for many.
I found expressing agony, both times.
At least with ds2 I had plenty of milk, I just couldn't get any out via Pump or hand expressing.
It really isn't that simple.

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:02

The OP isn't talking about people who can't breastfeed though, is she? She's talking about people who choose not too, surely if you choose to bottle feed from the start (anyone's choice to make BTW) then you don't want your child to have colostrum?

Why see offence where there is none?

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:06

I also can't see anywhere the OP has said anything that implies she assumes expressing colostrum is easy? In fact, she says she realises BF is difficult for many.

I'm well aware of how difficult expressing colostrum is. I can assure you it's even more difficult when you're doing it after your babies have been delivered at 23 weeks, one has died and you're expressing for the one surviving in NICU, that you haven't even seen yet and you don't know if they will survive either, but you know they probably won't. I'm well up there if we all just want a pity party.... Hmm Difficult isn't impossible though, is it?

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:10

Jesus.
No, I don't want a pity party midori.
I have had 4 pg losses, but I don't assume that my grief makes my opinion worth more than others.
This op is - like all the bf vs bf threads seem to - causing offence to many, including me.
Glad it's not offending you.
I know many women who chose not to bf prior to birth.
Know what? They are pretty good parents anyway.
Am off now.
When posters start talking about pity party's I lose all respect for them and any argument they may make.

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AmberLeaf · 23/04/2013 11:13

Look, lets me real here, the OPs question was a loaded one.

Pretending it wasn't is ridiculous really.

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 23/04/2013 11:13

The fact she even needs to ask is offensive. Because its none of her business. Women should be allowed to make that choice without feeling judged.

On this thread the term "valid reason" has been used. Who decides what reasons are valid? To question a choice implies that it is not a valid choice. That is offensive.

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AmberLeaf · 23/04/2013 11:13

me = be

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:14

The point is, you're seeing offense where there is none. If people make a choice to FF then surely that is an informed choice and therefore they are happy that their choice is right for them.

If people didn't chose to FF, then the OP is not talking about them. It's simple.

The OP was asking why people make this choice, she wasn't saying they were bad parents. You are seeing things that haven't been written and taking offence where none has been intended.

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:15

Yeah.
Funny how the op has been back isn't it?....

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:17

Has the OP used the term 'valid reason'?

If people think its none of the OP's business, why not just decide not to answer, or say that?!

As I said, I wouldn't be offended by a thread asking why people switch to formula, why they breastfeed toddlers or any other questions about parenting choices. It's just a question after all.

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AmberLeaf · 23/04/2013 11:22

The point is, you're seeing offense where there is none

All that means is it hasn't offended you

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:24

Yep.

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wannabedomesticgoddess · 23/04/2013 11:28

The thread title implies that mothers who do not breastfeed or express colostrum have somehow neglected their baby. Just because some people dont take offense at that doesnt mean its not offensive.

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:30

Or maybe it means some people are offended by the slightest thing based on their own unresolved feelings on the matter?

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breatheslowly · 23/04/2013 11:30

If it is any help, it hasn't offended me in the least and I am definitely in the FF and no expressing colostrum camp. I think it would be a sad world where questions like this and carefully phrased as the OP's question was couldn't be asked. I agree that if you found it offensive then you found it offensive, but I don't think that people should stop asking questions for fear of offending someone.

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:33

Wannabe, are you serious?

Saying 'Educate me:why would you not want your baby to have colostrum if no medical reason'

Implies that those who don't breastfeed or give colostrum are neglecting their babies? Or is it just asking a question?

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:34

My grandmother finds gay people offensive, does that mean they are? Hmm

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breatheslowly · 23/04/2013 11:34

The thread title in no was implies that mothers are neglecting their babies. The thread title just says why wouldn't you if you don't have a medical reason.

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:36

No unresolved feelings here...my son is 10 :)
However, there may be some women with newborns reading this thread.
Who haven't bf or expressed colostrum.
And who may find the op not only offensive but upsetting.
Remember those sleep deprived terrifying days?
Doesn't apply to me, of course, but I can put myself in others shoes and realise that it may cause distress to others.
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wannabedomesticgoddess · 23/04/2013 11:36

Or maybe it means that some people are sick of reading threads where the OP ferls the need to justify her feeding choices before asking the question she came to ask, because of threads like this.

Maybe some people are sick of women who look down on other women because of how they feed their baby. But if you try to point that out you have a chip on your shoulder and unresolved issues.

This thread shows the horrible side to MN. The smug, bullying side, where you are shot down if you disagree. Made out to have some sort of issues because you speak out.

Disgusting.

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:37

Easy.
Because you dont want to.
Like I didnt want to use cloth nappies.
Or blw.
Of any other of the countless parenting decisions made on an everyday basis.
It's not rocket science, is it!?

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midori1999 · 23/04/2013 11:40

I honestly cannot see why someone who has made the choice to not BF or express colostrum would feel upset by the thread title or this thread. If they made that choice, presumably that's because they were happy with it for themselves? No one has said that isn't their choice to make.

If people didn't make that choice, well, this thread isn't about them.

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Badvoc · 23/04/2013 11:41

Oh come on.
It was a leading question.
And the op can't have wanted to be educated that much.
She hasn't been back!
So many of these bf vs ff threads are like this...the op posts a knowingly devisive op and then scarpers and enjoys the fall out.
Wannabe...hope you are ok x

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bakingaddict · 23/04/2013 11:41

I often wonder why people just cant be happy with their own decisions.....

Do we really need to beat up FF or BF mums, look OP just accept it may not be your choice but don't get all judgy towards those who for a myriad of reasons you are not privy too decide not to bother expressing colostrum. Just move on and accept your life, your rules and the same goes for other people

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