Educate me: why would you not want your baby to have the colostrum if no medical reason?

[RainbowsFriend]

Just found out that a couple of my social circle are not attempting breastfeeding second time around, but will be going for bottles from day one. No medical problems/issues, just said it would be easier to have bottles and a toddler than breastfeed.

I didn't want to pry, and I respect their choice of course, but I'm really curious why you would not even express the colostrum to give your child - I thought it was soooo important for the immune system.

I admit I'm a bit biased as I still bfeed DD 22 months, and do use it as a parenting tool to a certain extent. We massively struggled at first as DD had a missed tongue tie that wasn't picked up til 5 months, so I know what it's like to have pain and struggle, and I remember from when our toddlers were little that these mums had to give up fairly quickly first time around and know how difficult it was. But why not express a bit of colostrum?

So please let me know so I can understand better?

[littleginger]

Thanks, Wouldbeharrietvane, i dont think I've ruled anything out really. Just wanted to have a pop at the nhs antenatal classes :) which is actually completely irrelevant to the original thread topic!

Ah well bloodymindedness is what gets things done mselisaday

Tiktok, forgot to add regarding the health benefits that my googling did probably have a biased slant in order that i could read what i wanted to read at the time

I dont really regret that i moved onto ff as i felt it was the best decision for my family at that time. I cant really dwell on it as there is nothing i can do about it. I just regret that breastfeeding hadnt been easier

[queeniebee]

Lalyrawr - how odd, is there anything else makes you feel like this? Or is it just breastfeeding?

Mrs Applepants - what makes you sceptical about the health benefits of breastfeeding?

[BoyMeetsWorld]

This comes across as a covertly smug and self righteous post to me.
What is there to be 'educated about' another woman's choice. They don't want to do it: end of. There are a million perfectly valid reasons why.

I'm another 'oddball' who feels physically sick at the thought and sight of breast feeding. No abuse or body issues in my past. Not ignorant, thanks. I did actually bf DS for 12 weeks - hated every second, it made me feel resentment towards him that I had to have him attached to my body, not closeness. Obv didn't do much good either as he decreased weight, I was thoroughly miserably. Was so happy when switched to formula.

V much want to ff from start with next dc but DH has this colostrum obsession too. Not sure why women should be bullied into this. Totally agree with a previous poster who said its not like you can look at two children & tell which was bf.

[PollyIndia]

Littleginger, your description - bobobobobobo - angrypurplehead- bobobobobob - made me laugh a lot. Very accurate!! Sounds like you had a really tough time. I totally agree that the education just isn't there in terms of how much they feed, how painful it is etc. The most annoying thing in the world in those first 6 weeks was the people saying ' if it hurts, you aren't doing it right' yet also saying my latch was perfect when it hurt so that I cried with every feed. Which was a lot of crying. It definitely coloured my first weeks with my baby. He ended up being diagnosed with tongue tie.

I felt under pressure to formula feed in those early weeks from my parents who couldn't bear seeing me upset and from friends who ff or mix fed. I persevered because I am bloody minded and I couldn't believe it wouldn't click eventually. Plus I am on my own, so I thought if it did click, it would be way easier than ff... I guess it is, though actually all the bottle prep isn't as much of a faff as people say. i see benefits to both. And at the end of the day, people have to make the choice that is right for them.

In terms of the question at hand, I really didn't get what a lot of people did from the OP, that she was bashing formula feeders. I suppose I would also wonder why those that can, wouldn't want to try. But I would never criticise anyone for not wanting to continue as it is bloody hard. I don't know if I will have a second child (not on my own!) but if I did, I think I would dread breastfeeding.

Oh, and that hubba, is she Katie price? For some reason, that is exactly something I could hear her saying. So offensive, it is actually hilarious.

[queeniebee]

BoyMeetsWorld - are you physically sick or do you just feel sick? Does even typing about it make you sick?

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Queenie - I don't actually throw up, just feel very nauseous. Have had 2 good friends bf recently & obviously support their choice, but I've always had to leave the room when they were bf as it repulsed me so much - makes me all nauseous & agitated & shivery. Of course I always stressed to them that it was my issue, nothing to do with that they were doing!

When bf DS, I went to huge lengths to never have to bf in public - locking myself into some crazy places!!! & I always has to keep it as brief as possible or grew more & more upset.

I had no problem at all with latching on & it wasn't painful. Just hate it, passionately.

[BoyMeetsWorld]

Yes I think it probably is. But nonetheless one that makes the possibility of bf very unpleasant. & I don't seem to be alone in having it - I've come across a fair few others.

This time round, I was riding everything on expressing from the outset as would still like baby to benefit....but am feeling less sure reading all the stories of colostrum being so hard to express & trying to keep up with expressing taking over lives....

[Whatalotofpiffle]

My sister and I love bf and I am still bf a 26 month old. However my other sister is repulsed and the health benefits are of no relevance. She has never even considered it

[littleginger]

PollyIndia I sound like such a suck up but wow well done on breastfeeding without a partner's support! As i said i dont know anyone who has breastfed so its nice to hear about those that got through what must be the most crappy 6 weeks ever.

MiaowTheCat ive never actually had any bad experiences like you but i know there are people like that out there ready to dish it out! I have the daily mail app on my phone but PURELY because other newsy ones are rubbish and it can be funny to read some of the daft comments on the articles. But my god some of them are so narrow minded and hate filled. There is a minority of people out there who are just horrible spiteful self righteous people and some of them happen to breastfeed. They are pathetic people and i wouldnt rise to it. Its only because their outspokenness on breastfeeding is a direct attack on your parenting that it incenses you. If it was another topic you would realise that they are just an idiot and ignore

[YouMaySayImADreamer]

I have to agree with some posters that the op does sound like a slightly smug and self righteous rhetorical question. I dont see why youd need that information to 'help' people whove clearly already made a decision.

But anyway...i would imagine that a lot of people just wouldnt want to start bf at all especially as the first few weeks are noroiously hard with getting baby to latch properly, constant feeding etc and this all comes in the haze of having just given birth. So for some people, why go through all this, knowing youre not going to continue? Especially given that they have bf before so are making an informed decision based on past experience.

This is coming from someone who is ebf - i can see why people might choose not to a second time. I do think that some bf women have a dig at ff mums just to make themselves feel good and to affirm their own feeding decisions, perhaps even when theyre struggling with how hard they find it. Id imagine that since the majority of people ff long term though, this would be the minority of people experiencing this sort of nasty attitude.

Also when they do this, i dont think its fair for (some) ff mums to retaliate by invalidating the feeding choices of all bf mums with comments or anecdotes about the minimal health benefits or going as far as hubba did to describe us so disgustingly. I havent found bf easy, and have been upset about the effect i feel its had on the look of my boobs. And i have worked hard to get to the stage im at so i resent being told that theres no point from a health pov in what ive done. Retaliating in this way honestly makes them just as bad as those people who judged them for ff because they are attacking all bf mums, even those who havent passed any comment or judgement on anyone elses feeding choice.