Do you enjoy bottlefeeding? Am I alone?

[peaches27]

I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding that I just cannot fathom them out. All I can remember are the cracked, sore nips, feeding for hours on end, leaking milk and generally feeling that my life was not my own. Where was the "almost orgasmic sensation at let down"? I dont think I even remember feeling a sensation, apart from dread at approaching the carrycot. When I tearfully gave up the struggle and gave DS a bottle it was love at first sight for both of us. Finally he was satisfied and full. Finally I was comfortable and got my life back. As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders.

Can you please accept that it is not the same wonderful experience for everyone and if we want to give up because we hate it we shouldnt be made to feel guilty as several generations have grown up perfectly healthily on formula. (Breastfeeders now search for statistics which prove that breastfed people are healthier).

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL). This feeling of failure was compensated by the happy healthy infant who thrived on formula and also the extra free time I had even after preparing feeds!

I am raising my grandkids and obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did. I love giving her those bottles, especially the night ones when its just the two of us. She is happy too.

Anyone else share this experience?

I couldn't possibly be that cynical, GS...

That's the second time this week I've been called cynical... it must be true!!

Just lucky a whole load of formula feeders didn't jump in to give her a bad time on the 100% thread eh?

Peaches, please start a new thread with exactly the same title and wording but without "As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders". I got that twitch thing going off in my right eye when I read it.

I think the rest of it reads fine as your experience of breastfeeding and switching to bottle.

Aargh! YOU TWO! Cocked up my near perfect timing Jessa's post!

*with Jessa's post

Ahh, sod it. I'm orf.

I had to go and read the other thread and may i say it is lovely.

Yes, I did too Pruni - I do think that Peaches genuinely wanted to re-create that for bottlefeeders, but somehow a couple of sentences got inserted that would have been best off not being there

Agree Squarer.

Agree Pruni and Squarer. I wanted to join but somehow I just knew how it would turn out - same old, same old. It could have been a nice thread too

I dunno....at 2.54 she said her motivation was to respond to the call for a National Breastfeeding Policy (she meant 'strategy' as it is not a policy) which she felt was extreme. It wasn't to create a haven for formula feeders to share experiences, according to her.

I am prepared to accept she wanted a place for ff mothers to share.

But she did this, alongside making 6 (count 'em!) inflammatory 'digs' in her original post - her original post, mind you, not later on!

And that's trolling - deliberately provocative posting in order to get an inflamed response.

Not good, and not part of the mumsnet culture.

Mercy - it cannot become a nice thread with an OP which starts off in the very first paragraph with a nasty swipe! There's no hope when it starts off like that!

The OP sets the tone and outlines the aim of the poster.

I am certain that if someone genuinely wanted a 'parallel' thread for avid bottle feeders to share positives, it would not turn nasty....as long as the motivation was genuine from the start and as long as its contributors were careful about their words.

It's called being sensitive to other people who might be reading.

Feel free to create it someone - I think it's got the potential to be a lovely thread too.

But agree with Tiktok - the 100% thread wasn't started with swipes - this one was.

Nice new positive bottle feeding thread is now there for any who want it.
Just dunno how to do one of those clever linky things

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=165577\There you go, Jessajam}

Cheer m'dears!

and for good measure

\link{http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk?topicid=1364&threadid=165579\this thread} celebrate any type of feeding!

I wonder what we would argue about if formula milk had never been invented, feeding positions maybe???

Tiktok - I agree - that's why I agreed with Pruni & Squarer!

breastfed five babies but dont really enjoy it - would much prefer to bottle feed but social pressure means i dont

I don't get it, people make derogatory comments about formula feeding in indirect ways and that's O.K ? Are the formula feeders thought to be not intelligent enough to spot the indirect method of put downs ?

Peaches original post stated what she was feeling as she posted and commented that b/feeders generally post statistics to prove their point with the inference that perhaps formula feeders just need to have the data in front of them to be able to make the right informed decision. I mean, after you've fully digested all the statistics it's a no brainer isn't it ? (Plus whoever noted that the formula feeders couldn't use apostrophes correctly pretty much proves this point of the intellectual superiority complex of some breastfeeders.)

Well it's not a no brainer, some of us have digested all the statistics etc and agree that based on the information currently available, breast is best nutritionally. Our personal circumstances and emotional needs form part of our decision making process too however and if we just can't be comfortable with getting our breasts out (we didn't all revel in the increase in breast size that accompanies most pregancies) or we can't get over that pain barrier or for whatever reason we really dislike the whole breastfeeding experience then I feel that is a perfectly valid reason for not breastfeeding.

A happy mum is an asset to a baby and if you're unhappy breastfeeding then you can quit or not even start.

To quote a breastfeeding regular poster however. " 'Happy mum = happy baby' is the chant of the mindless " Taking this into account, do you now see the point about the intellectually superior stance taken by some ardent breastfeeders and how it can lead to post's such as Peaches' ?

eloquently put Norm

Incorrect use of apostrophe put in last sentence to wind up the intellectually superior.

It's a fair point, NN. I've given up challenging sideswipes at bottlefeeders - I think ignorance is its own reward and too much pride is ugly. It's just not worth it.

Norm - the apostrophe thing (not one of mine) was in response to Peach's dig at 'the breastfeeder' using a swear word in the argument.

Stats (and I have used them) can be useful if someone says something plainly mistaken or wrong or simply misunderstood. I don't think anyone sensible uses them to try to persuade anyone - as you say, feeding decision are based on quite a complex mesh of feelings and circumstances.

I don't know what you mean by indirect derogatory comments, sorry. I hope I don;t make 'em, whatever they are :)

What you refer to used to really get my hackles up Norms - I think you are right. It's not exactly indirect some of the time though, is it? I have come to the conclusion that it better not to give posts that say formula feeders are thick and formula fed are fat the credibility of a response. The people that say these things must have issues to feel the need to be openly vindictive, but they have to live with that - not me.