Do you enjoy bottlefeeding? Am I alone?

[peaches27]

I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding that I just cannot fathom them out. All I can remember are the cracked, sore nips, feeding for hours on end, leaking milk and generally feeling that my life was not my own. Where was the "almost orgasmic sensation at let down"? I dont think I even remember feeling a sensation, apart from dread at approaching the carrycot. When I tearfully gave up the struggle and gave DS a bottle it was love at first sight for both of us. Finally he was satisfied and full. Finally I was comfortable and got my life back. As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders.

Can you please accept that it is not the same wonderful experience for everyone and if we want to give up because we hate it we shouldnt be made to feel guilty as several generations have grown up perfectly healthily on formula. (Breastfeeders now search for statistics which prove that breastfed people are healthier).

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL). This feeling of failure was compensated by the happy healthy infant who thrived on formula and also the extra free time I had even after preparing feeds!

I am raising my grandkids and obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did. I love giving her those bottles, especially the night ones when its just the two of us. She is happy too.

Anyone else share this experience?

IIRC Tiktok didn't actually say that GDG - I seem to recall that TT has always said on the subject that she is in favour of a cheap, non-commercial high quality formula.

On the other hand, I think that publication of information about current formulas available would help people who wish to breastfeed continue trying to breastfeed and assist those who wish to formula feed make a sound judgement on which formula to give (unlike me who 8 weeks later gave the one recommended by the midwife in the hospital).

By the way, Peaches is lovely, and I passed on the regards form both Jools and Puff . I just hope she does come back to MN for support when she can. (The email was real by the way).

thanks for passing my best wishes on Squarer. I hope she comes back too!

How horrid for her to get a nasty email! I hope she has reported it.

It wasn't necessarily tiktok, I admit. Here you go:

Q: "Maybe it would be a good idea to hand out a leaflet on formula during antenatal preparations.
'Formula-the facts' or something?
Also,maybe its composition does need to be covered in antenatal classes,again something that doesn't usually happen?
A turkey twizzler like expose of the potatoes and fish eyes and algae might really make it clear."

She did - One of the Mumsnet team has passed it on to a colleague to look at the address and see what they can make of it, if anything. It was all a bit odd.
I think she will be back....

Ah, yes - I remember the turkey twizzler analogy

Interesting turn in the debate.

I can honestly say, it had never occurred to me to consider formula as anything other than an alternative to breastmilk. However, I can see that by couching it in those terms, it does make it seem on an equal footing to bm, when in actual fact bm is better for a baby than formula.
That said, from my own personal perspective, when I sat sobbing at my inability to bf, with my screaming ds - despite the best efforts of the NCT bf counsellor - I'm not sure I could have coped with the thought that I was giving my baby anything that was not the closest bm substitute.
Not even really sure what I'm trying to say here. It is such an emotive subject.
Hope Peaches has not actually left MN. I think she got unfairly attacked, given that she is a relatively new poster and unaware that this subject never fails to kick off. Don't like the sound of unpleasant emails being sent either, sounds a bit threatening.

I'd like to apologise to Peaches for not fully appreciating the situation behind her initial post.

I wish her the very best for the future and hope that she returns to Mumsnet.

I don't think she's a patronising baggage either.

(And in case anyone's wondering, I didn't send the email and I think that sort of thing is deeply unpleasant.)

As for formula - I agree with Tiktok's description of it.

Aww hunker that's nice of you and you're not feeling too chipper at the mo either are you?

I don't think it would cross anyones mind that you would do such a thing .

Hello

I can accept breastfeeding is not a lovely experience for everyone.

I breastfed my dd and loved it and found it a very special time. But I know many people who hated it and pushed themselves to almost depression and then became a much happier person with baby when they switched to bottlefeeding so breastfeeding is not for everyone.

I was bottlefed and I am healthy with no allergies so if I found breastfeeding a negative experience I would of had no problems switching to bottles.

But I have to say whenever I am at friends house with bottlefed newborns someone other than the mother is usually feeding the baby. Its easy to pass them to someone else because your tired or people just want "a hold" etc. That is one of the things I love about breastfeeding that my baby needs me, we need to sit and relax and hug for the feed. I love the closeness of it all and I know that is one of the things that puts most people off.

I was thinking what you posted Jools.

I just CATed you HM, on the back of having thought what Jools posted. It might make you smile

Tell anyone and I will track you down though

I'm going to give up reading threads about feeding, as I always end up feeling really bad about the choice I made. Although it's a bit like a car crash - can't help but look

I bf dd for 15 weeks. The first three weeks were awful, but after that I loved it, it was a wonderful thing to share with her. Unfortunately I got lower and lower into PND and I had to make a choice. After lots of soul searching and weighing up all the options I chose to give up bf'ing and start AD's. I felt guilty at the time and found giving up bf emotionally wrenching. But in hindsight it was the right choice and I don't regret it.

So, I do find some comments on MN about formula feeding quite upsetting. I know that bm is best for babies (and it's written all over the formula boxes! ).

It wasn't my first choice, but at least I had a choice that enabled me to start enjoying my lovely daughter.

Crikey, it's hard to put into writing what you're thinking, eh?

JT, have been feeling a fair bit better in the past week (have ADs on my desk, but haven't taken them - some kind of weird osmosis has happened and I feel better just possessing them - rofl!) - thank you.

Squarer...no CAT here yet - looking forward to it!

Do mean what I said, Peaches - think you'll do a fab job raising your DGD as you so obviously care deeply for her.

I do think formula feeders should be told about the ingredients in formula, GDG, as it happens....Jools was asking for a presumably short description of infant formula to replace 'closer to breastmilk' and so I came up with the short and correct suggestion.

But beyond that, I am in favour of mothers knowing where manufacturers source their prebiotics, for example, and other additions.

Stop worrying about me doing a turnaround and thinking you have one over on me.....I am pretty consistent, though I remain open if you have any new arguments for me.

lovecloud - it is really interesting what you say about baby needing only you, closeness of it etc etc, because having looked at the other thread and reading everyone's similar descriptions of breastfeeding it has made me realise that it is exactly that that i found difficult about it. Makes me feel very unmotherly somehow! I have always absolutely hated that dd is solely dependent on me (I'm a single mum so doubly so). Plus b'feeding was constant in the first few weeks and very frequent thereafter so like i think i've said before, too much of a good thing! However, I remember at about 4 weeks old I managed to express enough bm for a small bottle for my mum to feed her, just so I knew she could, and I bawled my eyes out it felt so wrong! - baby blues talking, i don't think it would have bothered me later on! But expressing was such a pita i didn't bother again.

I think there should be clear, unbiased information about the contents of formula - too many people say they think that manufacturers should be able to advertise infant formula so they're better-informed about it, but I don't see that this is the way forward.

'That is one of the things I love about breastfeeding that my baby needs me, we need to sit and relax and hug for the feed. I love the closeness of it all'

I felt this closeness with bottlefeeding just the same as breastfeeding. The bond and closeness between mother and baby is just the same, they know when someone else is feeding them, they know the smell and touch of their mother and are always much more relaxed and content when being fed by their mother, breast or bottle. Thats the thing i love about feeding !!

Tiktok, I've no interest in you whatsover - getting one over on you or otherwise.

Amyjade - I am sure you did feel close to your baby. Like I said we are all different and so are our needs.

I just know that I found breastfeeding a great experience and I have fed many babies including my family and baby sisters forumla bottles and it was not the same "for me" not saying my experience is what everyone else feels and thinks - just me.

I also expressed and fed my dd bottles and switched to formula in bottles at 8 months and I really noticed the difference. It just wasnt the same and I missed feeding her so much it got me down. This time I plan to not give myself a stopping age and just stop when I want although I dont reckon i'd go past one year.

Been thinking more about Jools' question and the term alternative. Alternative does imply an equality - like alternative medicine, alternative music scene, alternative lifestyle. Alternative is used to describe something not mainstream and possibly not as valid as mainstream (?). But in Britain, formula feed is not the alternative to the mainstream, breastfeeding itself is the alternative to the norm of formula feeding, which is why to hear ff described as an alternative sounds a bit dissonant to me.

I suppose what I think ff should be is a last resort when breastfeeding is impossible, as it is in Scandinavia. However, in the hostile, unsupported cultural landscape in which mothers in Britain are operating, it would be unacceptable to describe it as such. I'd like the culural landscape to change though, so that mothers aren't operating in a landscape of total disempowerment and disinformation.

Blah blah blah, meander meander meander.

I have heard formula milk being described as 'artificial infant milk' and formula feeding as 'artificial feeding'.

Apart from the ambiguity of positing an 'artificial infant' :) I think this term is out, as well.....'artificial' has overtones which are inherently perjorative.

I am happy with 'formula' . It is notable that it is usually marketed as 'baby milk' or 'infant milk' - at least, that's the big writing on the packs. Sounds like the manufacturers don't care for the word 'formula'.

I enjoyed breastfeeding for 6 months, although it was very hard, tiring, time consuming and meant a severe loss of sleep. But found it immensely satisfying and hope the health benefits are true. Really handy when out or on holiday. I had to give up when I was seriously ill and my milk dried up and I was a bit upset.

I also enjoy bottle feeding my baby and can see the advantages it brings. My baby still has 1 litre of milk a day, even though he is 14 months and it would be impossible for me to express that amount of milk now I'm at work.

I do not actively promote breastfeeding as I thought it was really hard. The other 4 people in my antenatal group all tried to b/f and gave up for a variety of reasons e.g. 1 had a breast abscess, 1 did not produce barely any milk.

I received a pitiful amount of information about both ways of feeding from health professionals, got all my info about of books. I read in the newspaper last week about a study saying that formula with prebiotics can reduce eczema by 50%. I would have liked information on chosing a formula, as I randomly chose one in the end.

The let down to me felt like an electric shock through my nipples and was not pleasant!

sorry if im adding to this a bit late, my computer has been off for a while, i havent read the whole thread either, too long!

I wanted to reply to the original question.
Yes, i enjoyed bottle feeding my children. I have had two children and have bottle fed both.
I just dont have ANY urge to put a child to my breast. I think of myself as a good mum, ive bonded with both my kids, and enjoyed cuddling them close while they fed.

I have noticed there are a lot of bottle feeders who feel guilty about not breastfeeding, i can quite honestly say i feel none. Im very sorry if others cant understand that, but thats how i feel, i dont love my kids any less.