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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Do you enjoy bottlefeeding? Am I alone?

273 replies

peaches27 · 18/04/2006 23:00

I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding that I just cannot fathom them out. All I can remember are the cracked, sore nips, feeding for hours on end, leaking milk and generally feeling that my life was not my own. Where was the "almost orgasmic sensation at let down"? I dont think I even remember feeling a sensation, apart from dread at approaching the carrycot. When I tearfully gave up the struggle and gave DS a bottle it was love at first sight for both of us. Finally he was satisfied and full. Finally I was comfortable and got my life back. As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders.

Can you please accept that it is not the same wonderful experience for everyone and if we want to give up because we hate it we shouldnt be made to feel guilty as several generations have grown up perfectly healthily on formula. (Breastfeeders now search for statistics which prove that breastfed people are healthier).

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL). This feeling of failure was compensated by the happy healthy infant who thrived on formula and also the extra free time I had even after preparing feeds!

I am raising my grandkids and obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did. I love giving her those bottles, especially the night ones when its just the two of us. She is happy too.

Anyone else share this experience?

OP posts:

Original poster

peaches27 · 19/04/2006 15:12

I feel I have to withdraw from what I thought was a fruitful discussion, because someone has sent me an obscene and threatening email because of this post.

OP posts:

suecharlie · 19/04/2006 15:21

Having ust read through this thread I think it is all a bit unneccassary really, I get suport and feel reassured from this site which is what I thought it was all about!!{shock} I am shocked at the respone this poor woman has received because she felt she had a hard time, babies are hard work, we all know that but I am sure we don't need anybody else to make it harder!!!
LIghten up and enjoy it, I say! :)

Squarer · 19/04/2006 15:21

Contact the mumsnet team Peaches. Have they forwarded the CAT, or have you put your email addy up in a post? Ask them to delete it if you have, as there are always people around that are so pathetic. Now THAT is trolling.

suecharlie · 19/04/2006 15:23

Am also not going to say how i feed my baby, but be rest assured he is fed and we are happy!!!

bl0ndie · 19/04/2006 15:23

Why is the subject of feeding SO controversial on mumsnet? in my everyday life, some of my friends breastfeed, some bottlefeed, end of. Of course we all want wants best for our precious little ones, and if that is bottlefeeding or breastfeeding according to our individual circumstances so be it. I guess if you try to breastfeed and can't you feel guilty. I'm happy I can, but I feel bad that I didn't have the birth I wanted (epidural, forceps...). We can't be perfect in every way, surely? :)

A more technical q for anyone that knows: someone said earlier (sorry am typing away and can't scroll down at same time) that they wanted to breastfeed in the first few days for the colostrum. I've picked up from the medical profession (no one has actually said it though so I could be wrong) that they believe breastfeeding is only best for the baby insomuch as the colostrum is so good, but as for the actual milk, there's no real difference with formula (obviously there is in composition but I mean in terms of nutrients etc. Is this true?

JoolsToo · 19/04/2006 15:23

contact mumsnet peaches that's out of order!

Jessajam · 19/04/2006 15:23

wanted to change my name for this post cos don't want to be blasted but couldn't work out how to, so sod it!

"Why not start a ffeeding thread that just says that you enjoy doing it and what you enjoy about it, and possibly talk about any of the bits you don't enjoy - as the 100% thread does with bfeeding?". I genuinely thought that that was what this thread was.
I am really sad that we can't talk about our experiences of bottle feeding without being told we are being anti breastfeeding or anti those mothers who breastfeed.
I thought we were going to get to talk about our experiences, why we are formula feeding (sharing the 'why I didn't breast feed' story is a bit like the 'labour story' not often a lovely story, but cathartic to share and yes, it may mean criticisim of healthcare professionals, bf counsellors etc etc, sorry that may be our experience - NOT that we disagree that breast is best

suecharlie · 19/04/2006 15:26

I think it is really good to share any stories as long as no one is offended by it and it is cathartic for you!! no-one should get blasted for it, should they

tiktok · 19/04/2006 15:28

Any email sent direct but via m/n shd be traceable.

Jessa, did you not notice the inflammatory bits of Peach's original post?

tiktok · 19/04/2006 15:30

bl)ndie, it might be a better idea to start a new thread with a question like that.

For the record, there are many nutritional differences between formula an breastmilk, quite apart from colostrum, but trust me, it would be better on a new thread :)

SaintGeorge · 19/04/2006 15:31

Peaches - if you have received a nasty email regarding this thread then it is someone who already had your email address and therefore you likely know them. I cannot see your email address in this thread.

If it was a CAT I am very surprised because they are vetted by the MN team - the whole point of the CAT system.

Squarer · 19/04/2006 15:37

dunno about that SG... I have heard about CATs being passed on that tell the person they are a f*cking idiot etc etc.

By the way Peaches, it wasn't me!

Don't let some moron (who is obviously afraid of people seeing what they are really like so needs to say stuff to you behind closed doors) scare you off.

bl0ndie · 19/04/2006 15:38

Thanks tiktok, I might start one if I get a chance (dd is out for a walk with grandad and due back any minute!

Jessajam · 19/04/2006 15:38

TBH, no, I genuinely didn't notice. Reading it back now, with hindsight, and all the responses...ok, so it isn't exactly diplomatically worded (!), can't mind read, so don't know intentions, but I can see how it could be annoying/upsetting.

But, and this is important, look at all the responses it got, from ffeeders looking for some support, wanting to talk etc etc, that's why it's sad. Maybe that's why we missed the 'inflammatory' bits....?

Greensleeves · 19/04/2006 15:39

It isn't me either - if I think someone is a f*ckin idiot, I say so on the thread for everyone to read!

Squarer · 19/04/2006 15:40

You have certainly been on form today and for a couple of days Greensleeves and have been making me chuckle, even if you is one of "them" and you is fugly

Greensleeves · 19/04/2006 15:42

Why thank you (I think!)

Squarer · 19/04/2006 15:43

(it was a compliment!)

SaintGeorge · 19/04/2006 15:48

I was under the impression that they vetted CATs whenever possible Squarer.

Either way, if it was a CAT and it was obscene and threatening then an email to HQ would soon have the sender banned or at the very least sternly warned.

Tatties · 19/04/2006 15:54

IIRC someone on the 100% breastfeeding thread made a negative comment about bottlefeeding and rightly got pulled up about it - the purpose of that thread was to support each other, not to make digs at other people's feeding choices. If a thread was started where people genuinely wanted to discuss their experiences of bottlefeeding then I don't think anyone who didn't have something positive to say would contribute tbh.

Squarer · 19/04/2006 15:55

Yes, I thought that SG...

tiktok · 19/04/2006 15:58

Jessa, yes, I can see why someone looking for support and fellow-feeling would skim over the inflammatory bits....after all, those bits were aimed at people like me and a few others :)

It is very sad when formula feeders or breastfeeders or mixed feeders feel alone and criticised or guilty or judged. It happens whatever mothers do - and sometimes mothers feel judged when they really are not being judged....it's 'cos this whole thing is so sensitive.

I only ever take a swipe at people in retaliation to deliberate trolling/misinformation/rudeness.

I have said a zillion times on mumsnet that mothers who use formula are not given much information and that they miss out because of this.

Jessajam · 19/04/2006 16:04

It's true, I was just lurking on the 100% breast feeding thread and they really did pull someone up for making a comment that could have been seen as being unkind to ffeeders.

What a great bunch of MNers!

hunkermunker · 19/04/2006 16:06

Peaches, why not say who sent you the email? Otherwise there will be a lot of suspicion aroused about who it could've been.

Greensleeves · 19/04/2006 16:07

Was there really an email?

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