Do you enjoy bottlefeeding? Am I alone?

[peaches27]

I have always felt a little put off by people who are so overenthusiastic about breastfeeding that I just cannot fathom them out. All I can remember are the cracked, sore nips, feeding for hours on end, leaking milk and generally feeling that my life was not my own. Where was the "almost orgasmic sensation at let down"? I dont think I even remember feeling a sensation, apart from dread at approaching the carrycot. When I tearfully gave up the struggle and gave DS a bottle it was love at first sight for both of us. Finally he was satisfied and full. Finally I was comfortable and got my life back. As I am typing this I can almost feel the righteous indignation of the breastfeeders.

Can you please accept that it is not the same wonderful experience for everyone and if we want to give up because we hate it we shouldnt be made to feel guilty as several generations have grown up perfectly healthily on formula. (Breastfeeders now search for statistics which prove that breastfed people are healthier).

I am writing this and viewing the subject with a very long perspective. I last breastfed in 1982. It was very fashionable then and I felt a failure when it didnt work and I didnt feel the same as the people in the pregnancy books or the NCT/LLL leaflet. (BTW in those days I didnt live in a posh enough part of the city to access NCT/LLL). This feeling of failure was compensated by the happy healthy infant who thrived on formula and also the extra free time I had even after preparing feeds!

I am raising my grandkids and obviously my DGD has formula just like her mummy did. I love giving her those bottles, especially the night ones when its just the two of us. She is happy too.

Anyone else share this experience?

but i have a lovely cuddle feeding dd3. try and not cuddle a baby who is breastfeeding.

depends how far south your boobs are misdee

I too am of the opinion it's up to the individual how they feed their babies and that if mummy is happy baby is happy.
I bf dd up till 14 mo and tbh would have felt guilty bottle feeding but not because of pressure from outside but because I believe it is better for the baby and if i possibly could then that was how i was going to do it. However, i too felt like my body wasn't my own, i hated the letdown feeling, etc (though far far worse as you describe peaches in the first few weeks), it affected me socially because she was such a frequent feeder - and very clingy too - everything revolved around bf, sleep, comfort, food, etc etc- and the thought of having a 2nd baby and going through all that again really does make me seriously consider at least mixed feeding next time. When i weaned dd off the breast it was like i came out of a fog, and also like i could view dd as a proper separate individual and love her properly (i guess i mean without resentment or exhaustion) - i could actually cuddle her without her demanding milk which felt so much nicer tbh!! (though yes of course you have that amazing bonding feeling that you bottle feeders are describing too, when b'feeding.) Plus, if i have a 2nd child it would be with my partner, 1st time i was a single mum... in other words, it would be important for me that the dad would have the opportunity to feed the baby too (and i had no success at all expressing 1st time round and wouldn't want to try again!) In fact the fact that dd was exclusively breastfed hampered her ability to learn to trust the care of another individual, and also for my friends & family to feel confident giving me a break - i didn't get a break at all for most of those 14 months.
if i could go back in time i wouldn't do it any differently of course and i don't regret it now it's done, but my quality of life and therefore my ability to really focus properly on dd's needs did suffer and as i said i would be reluctant to do it a 2nd time. To those breastfeeders out there that probably sounds sad and frustrating because i know so many of you want to encourage mothers to breastfeed, and i am all for new mothers to be given all the positive information & encouragement & what is hard about it so they are prepared, but there you have it, that's how i feel... i think.... feels like a load of old waffle to me,sorry ... perhaps when a 2nd baby is here i will feel completely different...

ok tons of new posts since i started typing mine will read now & catch up!!

What delgirl says about kissing & cuddling more & therefore feeling closer now not b/f is what i meant. And misdee, of course feeding baby is cuddling them, i guess for me i had too much of a good thing if you like. if dd was breastfeeding every 4-6 hours that would have been different. instead during dd's breastfeeds (except the occasions mid afternoon when i was happy to fall asleep with her in bed :)) i usually felt frustrated and trapped and resentful rather than cuddly & loving. If she did happen to play happily independently from me (not often!), i was scared to give her any real attention because she would immediately whine for the breast.

And breastfeeds lasted a long time as well, when i looked after a friend's ds from 6 mo for 6 months it was so refreshing to be able to give him his bottle, nice cuddle, for 10 mins at specified time, and then spend the rest of the time interacting and playing and laughing with him. a completely different world to when my dd was his age.

ok i'll shut up now i've going into really whinging mode about the first year of my dd's life :(

Tinker, I think it's because peaches is bringing up her grandchildren, so it's just as much an issue for her now

With ds, I expressed for 16 weeks because I was unable to establish breast-feeding and yes, I really enjoyed giving him his bottles. It was still just as snuggly and lovely as breastfeeding. I know this for sure, because I did manage to bf dd.

"some people keep on because they think it's important to their baby" - is exactly the reason I beat myself over the fact that I stopped breast feeding...

and is exactly the reason why a thread like this is a good idea, not to rubbish breast feeding or breast feeders ( bloody good on you, well done etc) or to discourage breast feeding ( try it, keep it up for as long as you can) but to be there to support the non-breast feeders....

Bugsy2...me too! expressed until about 18 weeks. DS had mix of 'real' and 'fake'.

If I ever have another, I will try to breastfeed again.

peaches, you did the right thing for you and your child and how fantastic that you have such a close relationship with your dgd (lucky you!) What more can you do?

I honestly don't see why there has to be separate camps for breastfeeders and bottlefeeders, we're all mums as well as individuals. No need tpo feel righteous/defensive :) Lucky for me I have always loved breastfeeding my 5 month old (except now she has 2 little teeth and she occasionally bites me!)But my dh also loves giving her a bottle of ebm and we've both started giving her her first tastes of solid food and we love that too :)Breastfeeding is just one way of bonding.

I think Pruni is right, feeding your baby full stop is lovely, no matter how you do it. I'm sure breastfeeding isn't an easy ride to begin with for most people, but each individual has to make their own choice about whether it's worth keeping at it or not. And I'm all for informed choice but the problem is that many mothers it seems are forced into bottlefeeding through lack of proper advice and support. Many women feel guilty and cheated about this because they wanted to breastfeed. If you are in full possession of the facts and choose to bottlefeed and enjoy it, good for you! What's the problem? But I think we have to keep "banging on" about breastfeeding to help those women who want to do it for as long as they want, and to encourage those who genuinely believe there is no difference between formula and breastmilk.

HunkerIWouldNeverTakeASwipeAtBottlefeedersMunkerHonestGuv - do you have a short term memory problem or something? Lol at you getting shirty. (Actually, I forgive you and your memory loss as you have a newborn. I still can't remember my name).

Peaches you little minx. Hope you are in tomorrow when I drop by

Where?

did I see a thread out there called "Who out there is an avid 100% breast feeder?"

how is this thread different?

Have a look at the OP, JT - utterly different. The 100% bfeeding one doesn't say "oh just get over yourselves you bottlefeeders" does it? This one does that.

The other one says "Sometimes I find bfeeding really hard, but I want to keep doing it, can I have a bit of support - let's talk about the nice things to do with it, I need the encouragement to keep on".

Well, that's how I read it anyway.

And this bit makes it pretty obvious that the purpose of this thread was a ruck or to get bfeeders' backs up, no?:

By peaches27 on Tuesday, 18 April, 2006 11:02:42 PM

Lights blue touch paper and retires!

blimey hunker how many times has a poster put that in a post?!!! come on now, a little tongue in cheek I think.

it was also typed after Shaymummys "omg! this should be interesting!" comment - that's the one that invited a ruck!

Do you see the difference between the 100% thread and this one though, JT?

It is possible to be both a bfer & a bottlefeeder.

It is possible to be so wracked with guilt about your inability to bf that every reference from a bf mother about how well it is going, is like some form of torture.
It is possible to encourage bf whenever possible, while still recognising that mothers who bottlefeed, for whatever reason, can still be good, loving mothers hoping to raise happy, healthy children.
I have my feet in both camps, and hope that we may be able to acknowledge that some mothers have really loved bottlefeeding without it descending into a bottle vs breast row.

I loved bottlefeeding, the whole babything was a complete breeze for me and I think bottles helped my and my dd have a fantastic start together.

Personally I'd forgive peaches if her post has raised a few hackles, it must be bloody knackering having complete parental responsibility for 2 very young grandchildren. I don't always express myself diplomatically when I am shattered.

I have seen plenty of sideswipes at formula feeders on here, but it tends to be asides, sometimes taken onto another thread.

"I have seen plenty of sideswipes at formula feeders on here" ive lost count of the offensive swipes at breast feeders what with "nazis" and "mafia" being banded about

Bugsy I agree with what you say. The problem with the OP is that it is slightly derogatory towards breastfeeders.... Or maybe I am just insecure about my ability to satisfy my baby's needs with breastmilk and find the description of bottlefeeding undermining?