Breastfeeding - a contentious rant!

[jenbird]

I may get flamed for this post but here goes:

I am very pro choice when it comes to breastfeeding. I have breastfed all 3 of my babies and I plan on doing the same with this one. However I would never say just because that is my choice it is right for everyone. I understand that different people have different needs and that actually although nutritionally BF may be best if it is making the mother incredibly anxious or miserable then I believe it is not necessarily the best thing for that mother or baby.
What I do hate though is people who say "I just didn't have enough milk" when actually what they mean is "I tried breastfeeding for 2 days, I didn't like it, it didn't work for me and I have decided to bottle feed".
This has happened very recently in my life. A very good friend said she couldn't feed her baby as she didn't have any milk. The reality was that the baby was unsettled a lot and she wasn't sure what to do. Her mother said she "needed" a bottle so she went with that. Her baby is sleeping pretty well at night now and all is fine.
Breastfeeding your first can be really hard work. It hurts, it comes with a huge uncertainty and you seem to spend an inordinate amount of your time feeding but it does have it's rewards too and once you get going it is far easier.
I just hate those flippant comments about not having any milk when actually it is just about choice. Don't devalue the effort I put in just because you didn't want to go down that path.

I obviously can't say this to my friend in RL so I bite my tongue.

Rant over. Hope I don't offend anyone. If I do blame it on crazy lady hormones!

Softly Don't read the rest of the thread. Don't beat yourself up about giving your DD a bottle - you have BF her for 12 weeks, and are still giving her predominantly breastmilk, that's an achievement. You are doing your best, and even if you were to stop BF altogether and start FF her, you would still be doing your best. Don't let other people's judginess force you into a decision either way. Be kind to yourself.

Indeed, softly.

Now put this flower in your hair and join hands with the love-in.

Softly - and anyone else who has come to this thread later on

This thread has taken on a life of it's own. For what it's worth it was never my intention to ignite a debate on breastfeeding/bottle feeding. It was certainly never my intention to make anyone feel judged. I was simply referring to a conversation with a friend. Amongst all these posts somewhere there is an explanation as to why I felt threatened by some comments my friend made. I was aware that some people may not have liked what I said but I didn't think about the context others might view the post or my comments in. At the time of posting I was only thinking about how shit I felt with no regard as to how others might perceive this.

I feel the need to defend myself as I really hate the thought that people think I was judging them. It is not my place to judge and actually I don't even care how others feed their babies. I do care that whichever path you go down you are not made to feel bad for doing so (which is actually what I felt).

If I could restart this post to include the whole context of the initial situation I would but I can't so all I can do is apologise to people who felt judged. So many people have shared their stories on here and it shows the diversity of our experiences. If that can subsequently help people then hopefully some good can come out of it.

Jenbird x

Woooooo tethers what did you put in that pipe last night

I didn't get a flower for my hair

Jenbird appreciate the post, I'm not going to dig through the thread but believe you were misread, I was also a little medusa haired evilness of tired frazzled yesterday.

However I do now want a flower for my hair and am not sure why

Sioda good for you for being staight up about it! I don't have selective hearing, honestly I've only met people who make excuses. Just re-read my post and realise I've come across as being extremely angry when it was supposed to be a bit more light-hearted than that.

However, think I will make myself that medal anyway