Husband/Partner's opinion on feeding baby

[WhatTheHellJustHappened]

Did anyone face opposition from their SO regarding formula feeding?

I will most likely formula feed. Most babies in my family are formula fed. I'm aware of the benefits of bf but I just don't think it's the end of the world to ff.

My husband is constantly arguing with me over this decision because he wants me to breastfeed the baby. Anyone else faced a similar problem? What did you do about it?

Let's not turn this into a thread where I get lectured about the benefits of bf because I'm well aware of them, but I just don't think it's the right choice for me.

I didn't say that breast-feeding is more likely to cause MH problems, (and in fact, I know that formula-feeding mums are more likely to suffer PND), but it can be a factor, and should be considered when mum is struggling with BF, or doesn't want to for whatever reason.
Regardless of how good breast-milk is for a baby, I think that mum's mental health is far more important for both her, baby and family life.

Surely your partner wouldn't force you to BF if it was making you unhappy?

Do you not think intestinal or respiratory illness is worth reducing, then, still?

Which long term supposed benefits do you see contradicted by other studies?

I can't think of any....diabetes, childhood cancers, inflammatory bowel disease, IQ....the evidence is all one way. The studies only tend to differ in terms of impact with some studies finding a greater impact than others or finding a 'neutral' effect. I can't think of any studies which show that formula feeding has a beneficial long term effect.

still you still don't see the flaw in your logic do you. if there was no individual differences then there would be no overall differences but if you look at the evidence there clearly is.

Plus you're still neglecting the health benefits to mum.

"I'm not going to play tit for tat here with scientific studies" - why not? You're the one that raised the issue of research and studies!

If you are talking about studies that conclude bf has a positive health impact, and then you say you have other studies that conclude that ff has the positive health impact, then I am right to ask you for examples.

Of course in individual circumstances, ff is the better choice, because individual circumstances bring in many aspects such as preference, pressure, mental health and as you say, 'a whole host' of good reasons.

It makes me laugh when people say my 2.5, 11 year old, teenage DC was formula fed & fine. BF sets the body up for life long protection that formula feeding just can't match unfortunately.

Most of the diseases BFing protect against wont make an appearance until 30's, 40's, 50's, which is when people start to get diagnosed as their health becomes a problem.

To those that say BF is a faff that makes you unhappy, having diabetes, coeliac disease, allergies, or any chronic long term condition is far more of a faff & life long burden that 6months of BFing. I speak from personal experience on this sadly.

just to give you the heads up i am a compleatly millitant pro breastfeeder i cannot understand why anybody wouldnt even try it, and i am not asking you to justify as it is nothing to do with me its just to let you know my thoughts on this come from that camp.

he has a right to an opinun he has a right to express that opinun but he has no right to turn it into an arguement or a on going thing. its a simple this is my opinun is it yours or not.

when it comes to it how you choose to feed and how you choose to deliver the baby is totally 100% compleatly up to you.providing you are not doing anything that a reasonable person would concider to place your child at risk if you decided to deliver your baby on a ride at thorpe park then obviously i dont mean that if you decided to feed it coke from birth then obviously i dont mean that but when it comes down to it between ff and bf it is nothing to do with anybody else but you and nobody has the right to challenge that or even ask you to justify your reasons.

in my experance anti ff men tend to be the ones who prefer the idea of not bothering with the night feeds or who dont want the additional responsability of knowing they are perfectly capable of feeding the baby.

also in my experance anti bf men tend to be the ones who cant understand why its not ok to pick up a child with in a hour of birth and go out with it for a 3 day camping trip without the mother.

but thats just in my experance. the only person who gets to decide if you breast feed or not is you,this is none flexable.

What an interesting question.

I have read most of the thread. The OP says that:

"Both of us should and will have an equal say in all parenting decisions as long as they don't involve my body."

At first sight, I agree with this. The question I would ask is, how far does that go?

For example, what if you were a smoker or heavy drinker and wanted to carry on smoking or drinking throughout the pregnancy? What if you refused to even try to stop - because you thought it wouldn't be sustainable? Would your DH have the right to put pressure on you to stop?

As another parallel - my DH has been "making me" (i.e. pressuring me into) eating lots of fruit and veg and taking my vitamins. Without his pressure, I'd probably be eating a lot less healthy food and would skip my vitamins quite often. Does my DH have the right to put pressure on me to eat better?

I think he does.

Yes it is your body, but your DH is going to be affected by the health of your child as much as you are. So it IS fair for him to have a say in decisions that affect your child's health, even if they involve your body. Of course, you have the final say - since he can hardly strap you down and make you BF. But I can't see why he shouldn't be allowed to attempt to persuade you.

still even the ff companys do say that formula is not as good as bf, as far as im aware the only circumstances they would claim it was better would be in the case of a contagious illness that could seriously harm your dc such as hiv,or if you were an alkie or a junkie.
if the people that make it (wont in any first world country) claim its better do you seriously belive evidence exists that it is?

now stop trying to justify your choice because doing so turns it into something that should be justifyed unless ofcourse your wanting to debate as opposed to get support. your body your choice that really is the bottom line. sorry but when men can actually give birth to and lactate to feed there own child then they by all means get a say in the birth and feeding off said babies untill that time its not up to them.

and minipie the smoking thing is bugger all to do with it thats something that actually could kill your child before its born.

Sock I agree it's not the same, it's an extreme example to illustrate the question of where the line is drawn between "my body my choice" and "duty to do the best by the baby".

My fruit and veg and vitamins example is probably a closer analogy. Does my DH have a right to put pressure on me to eat more healthily and take my vitamins, for the sake of our unborn DD? I think he does. What do you think?

Phew, quite a thread!

Having read through all the posts I wonder if the OP isn't on a wind up?

Doesn't like being pregnant
Doesn't want a VB
Doesn't want to breastfeed
Doesn't want to share a room with newborn

Yeah, sure it's tough (in my case: high risk pregnancy/undiagnosed breech/emergency caesarian/bf to 2.5 years, so I do understand how daunting it can all be), but 'm left wondering why the OP is bothering at all .

Wanted to send you some much needed support op. I am truly shocked by some of the replies on here. There is no need for it.
My DS is 8 weeks and
has been FF from birth. I requested an elective CS at 16 weeks pg. I ended up with an emergency cs due to placenta praevia at 36 weeks but would have had elective at 39 if not for wonky placenta. I just wasn't prepared to go through labour. I have recovered really well and my cs was a fantastic experience.
I never wanted to bf- I just didn't like the idea, I was FF as was DH. In the end I decided to give it a go. DS as a 36 weeker couldn't latch he was just too sleepy. I tried to express colostrum but only got 1ml. I found all this very upsetting so decided to FF from day 2. I have had nothing but support from family, friends, mws, HVs etc.
So ignore the horrid responses on this thread. Having a newborn is hard enough without hating their every feed. It is such a special time - enjoy and if that means FF, great.
BTW my DS was conceived after ivf and 3 years ttc. He is very wanted and loved despite a cs and ff! We have him in our room, also sling etc a lot of the time. Having read up it is perfectly possible to be a FFing attachment parent.

Oh and I hated being pg. Sickness, SPD, anxiety and bleeding throughout.
I am not a wind up

no minipig he shouldnt,if you are adult enough to get pregnant and have a child you should be adult enough to follow perfectly sound medical and health advice to eat in a healty way without pressure from your dh

Sock yes, of course I should be able to follow medical advice. Doesn't mean I will though. Plenty of women get pregnant and do things that are against medical advice. Do you think that nobody (midwives, doctors, their DPs) is allowed to advise them to act differently now they are pregnant?

Higgs the OP has clarified she does intend to have the baby sleeping in her room, just not in her bed.

PS am minipie but I think I actually prefer minipig

I agree stillorsparkling. Those mothers who adopt an older baby or child do none of those things but are still amazing mothers.

SOunds like the OPs husband may want her to Breastfeed which gets him out of doing any feeds.....

Nothing wrong with not wanting to breastfeed - I never breastfed either of mine (by choice) and it was great being able to give the baby to DH for a few hours at the weekend, go away overnight. Bottle feeding gives you a freedom breastfeeding does not....

zombie thread people

Not that it's not an interesting discussion, just pointless answering the OP as I imagine she's made her decision by now

I remember reading this thread back in April. Well spotted bertiebotts the debate is still ongoing...

OP how are you getting on?? Come back and tell us. Hope birth and choice of feeding is working out for you and your DH

Some people find BF easy, others don't. If he 'makes' you BF and you don't get on with it then you will hate him. I suggest you compromise and say you'll try it for a week then if it isn't working out you'll have a 'get out clause' and it will show him that you are willing to respect his ideas as well.
But the bottom line is, they are your boobs and you can't BF if you don't want to.

It would be interesting to know what she did - I have a lot of sympathy for DP - it must be frustrating to want to give your DC the best and yet not be able to.