Page 26 | ^^Extraordinary breastfeeding - tonight on C4 ^^

Blu · 02/02/2006 13:54

Can I ask which bf-ing MNers ever put thier breasts out over the top of their tops?

I always put DS under my top, and though I bf extensively in public, I doubt anyone got much of a glimpse of my nipples.

Not that I'm particularly coy, but i thought there was a certain amount of 'flaunting' going on, at a level that would scare would-be fb-ers, and confirm prejudices about it being about getting your tits out in public.

nulnulcat · 02/02/2006 13:54

think im doing something wrong i breast fed for 6 months then switched to bottles which dd stopped about 10 months havent done a night feed since she was about 4 months old she is only just 2 and im beginning to think she should still be having milk feeds reading this but she hates the stuff and wont drink cows or soya milk have to put yoghurt on her cereal she had formula on it until about 3 months ago she eats a varied and healthy diet dont think she is missing out not having breast or formula

Eulalia · 02/02/2006 13:55

Good point morningpaper - it WAS confusing... and people will only remember the 8 year old not the Angels girl with the more 'normal' mums.

tiktok · 02/02/2006 13:56

Reasons why I don't think it would put people off initiating breastfeeding (for Aloha!): because it was nothing to do with initiating breastfeeding. The 'unusual' element of breastfeeding for years was presented precisely as that - very, very unusual. There was no suggestion this was something that was part and parcel of bf for most people.

Of course, if people have a closed mind to bf, and think it is disgusting, unnatural, they couldn't do it, baby hanging off boob, partner thinks it's rude, formula is just as good, why bother with the hassle blah blah blah and all that sort of stuff, the programme will not have changed their minds one bit, and may well have reinforced some tw*ttish attitudes such as the peedy-fiddler man's.

People who do want to breastfeed or who are open to it won't have been put off, and may well have been encouraged to feed a bit longer than the regulation x months, too, as feeding toddlers looked absolutely ordinary compared to the seven-year-old

I think people who are open to it may have been put off bf a seven-year-old if it had ever occured to them.

I have just watched the repeat of Richard and Judy, and I thought it was just fine - Richard was less idiotic than usual, and R&J both posed sensible questions with were answered sensibly and with good humour by the two mothers in the studio, who were both home schoolers and one of them didn't even own a TV - shock horror

tiktok · 02/02/2006 13:57

as an aside why do people with negative attitudes to bf at any age always talking about the kid 'hanging' off the breast.....as if that ever happens???

It's just a put down and I don't like it!

cod · 02/02/2006 13:58

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 02/02/2006 13:58

'safunny expression though tiktok

bourneville · 02/02/2006 13:58

Eulalia, great email, perhaps a point about the extremity of the two year olds too?

morningpaper · 02/02/2006 13:59

tiktok I think people might think "God I must stop bfing soon or I will turn into the mum of the demand-fed twins." It could also put you off demand feeding if you think it could end up like that.

Cristina7 · 02/02/2006 14:00

Tiktok - for the same reason women talk about "stuffing" a child's mouth with a dummy, "dumping" your child in childcare etc. V negative but some women like that kind of talk.

Blu - i've only seen one other woman BF over her top, at a LLL meeting.

JennyLee · 02/02/2006 14:01

It is not always traumatic to stop feeding all of a sudden my son started biting at 11 months and 3 weeks and I stopped in a day and he took a bottle by evening and slept throught the night for the first time, not always traumatic!

morningpaper · 02/02/2006 14:01

I think people watching it would just be put off 7 year-olds

Aloha · 02/02/2006 14:02

Sorry, completely disagree Tiktok. Lots of people will now associate breastfeeding with freaky mothers and people who expose their entire torso to breastfeed. It is offputting to me and I am breastfeeding! It makes the entire process seem wierd. Perhaps if there was more publicity given to normal breastfeeding this would not be the case, but there isn't and IMO it is.

bourneville · 02/02/2006 14:04

morningpaper agree absolutely about the twins being the most off-putting. Like I said, I assumed one demand-feeds as long as you're bf'ing (unless you're of GF ilk). There wasn't much reference to another way of b'feeding toddlers. Most ppl watching it will just know that they wouldn't bf as long as 7 years cos that was just freaky.

morningpaper · 02/02/2006 14:05

I agree aloha - I was surprised to feel uncomfortable going to the bfing group this morning but I DID feel selfconscious

People won't forget a breastfeeding husband and 7 year old in a hurry

Aloha · 02/02/2006 14:07

As a result I will definitely feel more self-conscious about feeding my nearly one year old in public and if I feel like that, I am fairly certain that this will be enough to put some people off and others to offer formula instead when out - at least while the shock waves are still reverberating. Feel pretty angry with this programme - and some of the people on it.

popsycalindisguise · 02/02/2006 14:10

It's is interesting isn't it how we have all interpreted it differently. It has made me more resolute to feed in public if and when the need arises. At the moment I don't hardly at all due to ds2's insistense on full flesh exposure but I will again once this phase is over.

nulnulcat · 02/02/2006 14:14

bourneville i am a gf mum who breastfed on routine not demand i have a happy contented dd who never cried for a feed as she knew one was coming i would wake her up to feed her she would settle herself back to sleep. didnt see it as comfort feeding if she wanted comfort i would give her a cuddle i know not everyone agrees with this method but it worked well for us

morningpaper · 02/02/2006 14:15

nulnulcat IMO it depends on the baby - some babies DO rely on breast for comfort and there isn't much you can do about it.

bourneville · 02/02/2006 14:19

nulnulcat just wanted to clarify that i wasn't being judgmental about GF routines, in case your post was defensive. I just realised as I was typing that not everyone bf's on demand.
Sounds good what you did. I can't imagine being able to have done that with dd. She was very frequent and very clingy. (Perhaps a routine would have helped, who knows, we gradually found our own routine...)

nulnulcat · 02/02/2006 14:20

i agree it probably does depend on the baby and maybe im harsh i did cc to get her to fall asleep on her own and to sleep through the night she had a dummy for comfort for the 1st 3 months but i took that away so she would learn to self sooth as i said these methods arnt for everyone they worked for us but feeding 20 times a day seems excessive even if you are demand feeding a newborn

nulnulcat · 02/02/2006 14:22

bourneville i wasnt being defensive sorry if it came across like that just saying a routine worked best for us as ive been on my own since pregnant and without good old gina i dont think i would have got anything done as mum and family live other end of the country a strict routine meant i was up dressed baby fed and dressed and had make up on by 8am!! amazing how much better you feel with a bit of lipgloss!!

kleist · 02/02/2006 14:30

I've only skimmed the posts here as there's SOOOO many.

I bf my dd for 18 months, we stopped because we were both ready, and it was totally painless, I did it gradually so she was in the end just having one feed a day. It might be the 'norm' in other countries to feed until age 4 but lots of things are the norm in other cultures that aren't in ours. I don't think that's a reason either to continue or not, I get tired of that argument.

As for the woman b/f the 7-year-old, whether I like it or not, I found it awful, sickening almost. And their obsession with her breasts was just plain wrong. As for the father's 'joke' about having a little suck. YUCK.

I am totally pro b/f, would do it again if I ever have another child, love to see women b/f when I'm out and about. BUT this programme made me feel b/f was weird and wrong and only performed by misguided loonies. Such fuel for all the anti-b/f people.

Only Kirsty was a positive presence. And her part of the programme was treated too light-heartedly - I mean WHY include that bit of that idiot man talking about pedopiddlia?!

pooka · 02/02/2006 14:34

I was pleasantly surprised by the programme. Made me think back to dd stopping. She self-weaned at 14 months as gradually her milk feeds were replaced by solids and then she only fed before bed. It was never a wrench or an issue. One night she just wasn't interested. So my conclusion is that it just goes to show how different and individual children are and that I will feed my ds for as long as he seems to need it. I can't imagine feeding dd now (she's 2.5) but that's only because I haven't fed her for a year and now I'm feeding ds who is so in a different league developmentally because he's only 4 months. If dd had continued to want to feed for longer I don't think it would have been an issue or a problem, but probably that's because she only fed as part of her bedtime routine rather than continuously during the day.

bourneville · 02/02/2006 14:38

nulnulcat, i wasn't sure if u were just wanted to clarify in case!

I was on my own too since pg (though have a boyf, not living with us). People cope in different ways. I couldn't have coped with having to follow a routine! I did lots of lazing on my bed bf'ing dd! Found it freeing just going with the flow. love the routine now though wouldn't cope without it!
My family were a bus ride away though so i was lucky that way. though they never took dd off me once till she was weaned, i had no spare time to myself at all as my mum was too scared or felt too strongly that dd should be 100% with her mum. drove me mad grrrr.