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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

^^Extraordinary breastfeeding - tonight on C4 ^^

843 replies

harpsichordcarrier · 01/02/2006 17:27

new thread for RTKM

OP posts:
Laura032004 · 02/02/2006 08:36

Haven't read the whole thread, but I really don't think that this programme has done anything at all for extended bfing. What a shame Surely they weren't typical examples? In a country where most people see extended-bf as 6 weeks, couldn't they just have shown some two year olds.

Thank goodness for the element of normality from the little angels lady. I hope none of my friends think that dh has a go at the same time.

How many people are really demand feeding like that past two years? That would make me really want to stop bf I think. I don't mind that for a few months (even a year or so), but I couldn't have done it much longer than that. It's just using bf instead of parenting properly IMO. I know I was a guilty of bf ds when he was a bit tired or grumpy, which is why I tried to get into more of a routine with it.

Also, seeing them all latch on like that was a bit wierd for me. As we only feed at set times, ds is still held like he was when he was a baby.

bourneville · 02/02/2006 08:37

Levanna - re your comforter taken away!!! I still have mine!!! just sits on the bedside table and doesn't come everywhere with me any more but would still be distraught if it disappeared!

I also sucked my thumb till teens.
Obviously have issues (actually semi serious here, i know i did)
don't think there's anything wrong with it though, it's a completely independent way of comforting oneself without having to rely on anyone else. (hm there's prob an unconscious reason why i have said that)

bourneville · 02/02/2006 08:39

Laura - there is nothing wrong with bf for comfort, in fact it is a big part of what bf is about. Dummies are used as the comfort sucking equivalent. I never gave dd a dummy and bf very frequently prob cos she used it as comfort, but i didn't feel it was wrong.

fastasleep · 02/02/2006 09:29

Thanks for the don't be guilty comments lol DD is 4 months and DS 23 months, someone asked ... DD thinks my breasts are scary! DS think's they're great tried him this morning he didn't actually do anything lol but he flopped them in and out of my bra going 'ooooh BOOBOO oooh yay BOOBOO' so you never know!

Hopefully 'guilty' will turn to 'sad' although it's definately guilt ATM, but I don't know why... I think maybe I know that if I starved DD/DS onto the breast they would have eventually done it... but I was too soft and they were too jaundiced...

Laura032004 · 02/02/2006 09:34

bourneville - no, I don't think there is anything wrong with bf for comfort either, but there are other ways of comforting children, and I feel that the programme made out that if children are bf at that age, they will be bfing all the time like that. There is no need for it to be like that if the mother doesn't want it to be. I didn't. However, I know people who are continuously feeding older children (2+yrs), because they don't know what else to do. I had to learn different ways of distracting ds, and comforting him, so he didn't always ask to be bf at those times.

Levanna · 02/02/2006 09:35

FS, starving them onto the breast doesn't work either! If they wont take it, sometimes there are a plethora of reasons why, sometimes none apparent at all.

I didn't offer DD1 anything other than breast, until a long way into our problems. She chose not to feed at all (she was scared of mine too by then).

Every feed from 2 months on was a dreamfeed and even then a struggle to get her to take anything.

HTH in some way!

fastasleep · 02/02/2006 09:38

Sounds awful! Some children just aren't meant to take the breast I suppose... or maybe mine are a funny shape lol... they would be the ones that died out with natural selection and all that if we were in the natural world still, what a thought!

Anyway breakfast and breastpump off we go....

My DH had a good go on me a few times, mainly to ease mastitis first time round, and before then to taste it... curiosity! I don't find that weird, possibly getting a taste for it would have been a little bit odd!

oliveoil · 02/02/2006 09:39

not read all these (I KNEW it was going to be a huge thread) but I thought it was a good programme. I expected the worst, but I thought they all came across well.

LOVED the woman from Blackburn who did the Little Angels - fabulous. And their 'feed in' at the shopping centre.

What about Burberry Boy with the scar who couldn't pronounce peodophile (not that I can spell it) - classic. And the oddball that bellowed 'Bottle fed and strong as an ox' at them!

IMO it is odd to feed your child till 4 or 8, but I didn't think the families came across that way, each to their own and all that.

But the Italian woman seemed a little desparate and determined for me.

prettybird · 02/02/2006 09:40

Only mamanged to see the second half of it, so I iwll wait until I've managed to see the whole thing on E4 before commenting.

Still think that there is scope for a Panorama type programme about the "scandal" of the lack of support for breast feeding monthers, the incompetent or inadequately trained "professionals" (both midwives and HVs) that so many new mums seem to have expereinced .

You only need to go to the breast feeding myths thread to hear horror story after horror story that you just wouldn't beleive could still be going on in this day and age.

That is the the real scandal and the real "scoop".

popsycalindisguise · 02/02/2006 09:43

Well..I wasn't going to watch it as I thought I would get all cross. But I did (whilst feeding my 11 month old ) and it was MUCh better than I thought it would be. I shed a tear at the twins' last breastfeed but thought that to breast feed 20 times a day at their age was a little unusual. Poor woman's boobs must have been wrecking her!!!

The Spanish woman - while I admired her commitment to feeding her adopted daughter, I found it slightly difficult to get my head around. Not the feeding an adopted child, just the fact that she was bottle fed for 18 months.

The Mum of the eight year old was slightly bonkers but clearly harmless. The girls made me speak very loudly to the TV!

Kirsty was fab! Much more 'normal' and like most women who breastfeed. I wish they had shown a bit more 'mainstream-ness'. But then it was called 'Extraordinary Breastfeeding'! Wish there was a group like that around here - public breast feeding up north is a big no-no. Actually, apart from me() I have never seen ANYONE doing it!

Calendar.....count me in

mummytosteven · 02/02/2006 09:43

I really don't see how you could have starved them onto the breast - all you could do is what you did do, which was clear the jaundice, get them fed, then try them again on the breast once they were on an even keel with their feeding. If they were starving then they would be even less likely to feed effectively IMHO.

in the pre-formula times, I think either you would have found a wet nurse, or just given them cows milk and hoped for the best. anyway I am sure that most of us have had infections that could have been lethal in pre-antibiotic times, so there's only so far that argument goes.

bamboo · 02/02/2006 09:52

Haven't had a chance to catch up on all this thread but I thought the programme was fairly balanced, which came as a pleasant surprise given some of the pre-publicity.

The family from Cumbria didn't seem at all representative, so for me they were the extraordinary in "Extraordinary breastfeeding". Found them all quite bizarre. The rest I kind of understood. The adoptive mother seemed to be a bit obsessed with the need to breastfeed her little girl but I think it was with the best intentions. I could see how the mother of twins had let it go on as long. I so admire anyone who successfully brings up twins. I think you do whatever you have to in the early years to get you through the night and, in the end, the cold turkey weaning did seem to work for them. The young woman from Blackburn was an inspiration.

I still don't know where I feel the cut off for breastfeeding is. I fed DD for 18 months, at which point I weaned her, she would have been happy to continue, I think. I never considered this as "extended" until I started reading threads on mumsnet - must have lived in a bubble! I don't think I would want to continue much longer than 2 as it's something I associate with the baby part of their lives and weaning is moving on from that but I couldn't criticise anybody that went longer. Each to their own I guess.

Piffle · 02/02/2006 09:52

Has anyone else had the urge to just say.
It's my child and I'll feed it how the f**k I wantand for how long I want.
If not then I'm saying it now
Further down someone I think said if you want to feed them in a cafe (or presumably anywhere in public where you might frighten innocent folk), express and use a cup while there.

popsycalindisguise · 02/02/2006 09:56

just had a look at the little angels website
here

we need more of this

MissChief · 02/02/2006 09:56

is it regional though? I'd thought, p'raps mistakenly that the reason for poor bfing rates was nothing to do with being embarrassed to feed in public but entirely down to lack of/lack of decent support from mws/hvs/bfing counsellors. However, just back from w/e up north with baby ds and was truly shocked at the difference when i fed him in public - either found shocked, embarrassed silence or in 1 case school-boy jokes with staff in front of me (from cafe manager!). I have never ever felt like this where I live (home counties) or on days out in London area.

popsycalindisguise · 02/02/2006 10:01

I think it may well be regional.....
I don't feed in public much at the moment as ds2 has become quite touchy feely and likes my top right up (which I hasten to add, I don't do in public!!)

I met a woman at baby massage class when ds2 was tiny and she had breast fed her oldest child until 14 months and had NEVER fed outside of the house. In fact, she only fed her dd2 at baby massage as she felt more comfortable as I had BF ds2 there (there previous week she brought a bottle of EBM).

I know that people feed discreetly in public (if ds2 behaves, I really don't think you can tell I am feeding him unless you get up close) but I have not seen anyone feeding up her.

Piffle · 02/02/2006 10:04

There was an article recently in the Indy or something that breastfeeding is now mostly the premise of the middle classes... And rates are slipping in the working class.
Anyone know anything about this?

Levanna · 02/02/2006 10:04

Piffle, my sister used to say that...and more!

For the first three months she fed wherever, however, whenever she and baby wanted and woe betide anyone who approached her..... she was eloquent, scary and I think gave some people a lot to think about.

She then expressed all feeds until 10 months. She also expressed anywhere, whenever, including a pub

fastasleep · 02/02/2006 10:09

I've expressed in McDonalds, Pizza Hut, Burger King (upper class bird me) various pubs...lots of toilets... park benches, on a beach... in a taxi!! Honestly the looks I get you'd laugh out loud

popsycalindisguise · 02/02/2006 10:09

I agree.

This is getting to me though. Wonder how I can find breastfeeding rates for round here...
anyone?

I need something to occupy my mind..

oliveoil · 02/02/2006 10:10

Have emailed LA with a pointer to this thread, hope they come on and give their views.

oliveoil · 02/02/2006 10:11

I would feed anywhere, wouldn't express though, why would you?

Far easier to feed surely?

fastasleep · 02/02/2006 10:12

OO have to express, babies never latched... I am the oddly boobied mummy

Heartmum2Jamie · 02/02/2006 10:14

Piffle,

I definatelty have said that, even to dh on occassion!

On the whole, I thought the programme was good, better than I expected at any rate. I did feel slightly disturbed by the 8 yr old, but I guess that's because it is not what I am used to seeing. I am not sure when I/ds plan on stopping, but I should imagine that we will not be breastfeeding at 7, lol!

I have to agree about the comments of demand feeding a 2 year old. DS is 19 months and he does not demand feed and hasn't for a a long time now. I would not be happy if he just wanered up to me, pushed my top up and latched himself on. Like Laura032004, because we have set feeding times, he comes and sits on my lap and gets held much like he was still a baby.

NannyD · 02/02/2006 10:15

bourneville, i'll say what I said earlier what's wrong with a cuddle and a kiss for comfort? If children are relying on the breast which is part of someone elses body how will they ever learn to comfort themselves and become independent, confident little people? The children on lasts night programe seem to prove this.
Milk is for nutrition and wether it comes out of a breast or a bottle that is what it is primarily for, for babies it is also a source of comfort but it shouldn't come to be relied on as the only source, children need to learn to comfort themselves.
And yes other sources of comfort like dummies, thumbsucking, bottles, aren't good, as they are bad for the teeth and speech and should be stopped at 12mths. Thumbsucking is the hardest one to stop and it's why so many thumbsuckers end up with braces.