The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

Haven't read the whole thread already, so sorry if this has already been mentioned but I wanted to suggest preparing your nipples for it before birth, try and go bra-less and even topless at home for a few hours every day. If you can sunbathe toppless, even better

We were told to do this in our ante-natal classes and I haven't had any cracks or other problems with my nipples (my ds is 15 weeks). I guess it could be luck, but it is quite easy to do and it might help avoid the cracks

Apparently it gets a whole lot easier after 6 weeks.I can't vouch for that as threw the towel in at 6 weeks but heard on here if you can push past the pain barrier at 6 weeks it gets a whole lot easier.

Also it can be difficult err not like it looks in all the pics ie dreamy babe and mum,but that is common so you may not be doing it wrong and probably only experiencing what all your friends are.

You may find this useful. Good luck, I know some women find it challenging but it really is the most special, loveliest thing.

It might be totally fine. You might not get cracked nipples, awful pain latching on, a baby who won't latch on. In fact your baby might latch on fine, take the milk fine and just grow, as intended. .

And feeding lying down whenever possible (during the day as well as night) is a great way to stop really achy shoulders, neck and back developing.

I have not read the whole thread but i wanted to say I wish I had know that there was such a thing as hind milk ! If your baby wants another feed an hour or so after you have just fed them put them back on the side you last fed them on first so that they get the hind milk and then move them to the other side. Make sure you drink enough fluids and get enough rest. Have a glass of water beside you when you feed the baby.

That it can hurt, even if the latch is perfect and that the pain is normal and goes away once you adjust. I thought I was doing it wrong and I wasn't - I just needed time to get used to it. I'm bfing again at the moment and when he first latched on, I thought: "bloody hell!, I forgot about this bit " - mind you, he's got a latch like a hoover so... .

And that it's not necessarily difficult - it can be, obviously - but it can also be pretty straightforward and lovely and just a fab, special thing that you can do for your baby.

And that if you have a lot of milk that there are ways of slowing it down, so your baby isn't choking on it and that, again, it will settle down eventually and you won't be changing your top every hour forever.

Haven't read everyone's advice, so apologies if repeating everything. I'd say: don't believe people who tell you babies feed every three hours! In my experience they want to feed almost continuously when they're newborn. If the baby wants to feed, feed it. Also, don't assume baby will feed for almost 10 minutes - it's the same point, really, but they can continue suckling for an hour or several. Don't force them to come off a breast after 10 mins, because they need both foremilk and hind milk, as homeaway said.

As they get older, breastfeeding is a great way of comforting them - they find it immensely soothing. It felt to me like a magic cure for almost any ailment. They also feed very differently when they're a few months old - they start looking around the room while feeding. Multi-tasking, I guess.

If you get signs of blocked ducts or mastitis, do see a health professional straight away and don't let it get worse.

Oh, and you can read a book and bf at the same time. I found that very useful during the long hours of bfing a newborn!

Sorry if I'm repeating others, as I haven't read the whole thread, but The Food of Love by Kate Evans is brilliant. www.amazon.co.uk/Food-Love-Formula-Successful-Breastfeeding/dp/0954930959

I've bought it for three friends recently and each of them has then got a copy for someone else. It's reassuring, and brilliant on detailed positioning advice.

liquid diet like soups,milk shakes,smoothies,fresh juices helped me alot in gettin a good milk supply for my lils n yeah missed on vegetable juices that wud have been good too n not to forget,electric breast pump was such a relief n help n a great source of enhancing the milk supply too n specially incase of babies who r so weak that cant get good hold of breast so this helped me alot

hackmum,thanx for such good insight n thanx others too

My top tip, feeding your baby and sleeping are the only things you need to accomplish in the first couple of weeks. And if you accomplish that, you will be well on your way.

Sleep when you baby sleeps.

Other people should be doing everything else, including nappy changes and bringing you food and drink, including bring the baby to you to be fed when possible.

Prepare yourself that you may have a baby who wants to feed long and often, which many newborns do and that this is totally normal, and NOT a sign that you don't have enough milk.

Allow your body time for your milk supply to establish itself and keep going. Take each day at a time, each feed at a time if necessary.

You may well end up having a LO who feeds for 10 mins every 2-3 hours from day 1, in which case you will be very lucky. But if you are mentally prepared to do a lot of feeding, and not much else, for the first few weeks, then you will be a very wise woman.

Good luck :)

That the baby might not know what to do at first, ask for help quickly but don't give up. My DD was very sleepy for the first few days after being born and would not wake up to feed. Thankfully we were readmitted to hospital and I had some fantastic help from the midwives to establish BF and we're doing great 6 months on.

That you need to eat lots, and not feel guilty about it. The only times my DD's weight gain slowed were when I was trying to be 'good' about what I was eating. Cake is your friend.

That you need to trust yourself. Was told on at least 3 occassions that I was going to have to supplement with formula, I never did and have never needed to. DD is happy, healthy and has doubled her birth weight at 6 months.

That it's normal and okay for the baby to feed every 1.5 hours sometimes. That it's then okay for them to switch to feeding every 4 hours. That the baby makes the decisions about when/how long/how much for feeds and there's not an awful lot you can do about it.

That sometimes you will start to nurse at 2am only to wake up at 5.30 when the baby latches on again.

That not everyone has the "milk comes in at 3 days" event (even with baby number 2).

That not every woman produces enough milk to keep their baby happy in 10-15 minutes.

That you want to get anyone who is giving you support on breastfeeding to show you how to do it in bed. Oh, and have someone who knows check for tongue-tie - better to get it fixed immediately than struggle on.

That if you end up having 1-2 hour feeds, just put your feet up, get an ipad and have some time for the two of you. It's a job - so don't think about things you could be doing instead - you are currently doing something quite wonderful.

That not everyone makes enough milk that you can express as well - I apparently made exactly the right amount for my baby and not a drop extra.

That some babies are just fine doing breast and bottle. A bit of formula doesn't make you a failure and it doesn't automatically mean that you can't carry on breastfeeding.

Oh - when it works (and it completely didn't work for my first) it's great, but when it doesn't it's not your fault. Not your babies fault. It happens. And as hard as it is, you just need to get on with enjoying what you've got, not what you haven't got.

This blog is great www.thealphaparent.com and will give you every argument you need to counter wellwishers brandishing boxes of formula.

BFing for me was harder than giving birth. But it was something I wanted to do. I found lots of good advice on MN, www.kellymom.com, LLL and ABM websites.

Find other mums who are BFing to support each other.

My first DS went from 10lb 2oz to 7lb 10oz in the first 5 days - then gained 3oz and kept on growing. It can take 5-6 days for the milk to come in. Don't let this erode your faith in your body's ability to feed your child. Let that baby suck on demand in the first weeks and months, and there will be sufficient.

You can exclusively breast feed a 26wk old baby - even though the world and his wife will be advising you to start solids from about 10wks before that!

You can feed into the 2nd year - or even longer! - if you and your DC so desire. Don't let other people's prejudices ('Is he going to be having that when he starts school?' etc) make you feel bad.

That you should throw away your watch in the first few weeks, as nothing will happen on a schedule
That if you are worried about under-supply, the herbal teas really work- I used one called Mother's Helper and it made a marked difference.

That perhaps my babies would feed ALL of the time, that it is a stage, and that actually I could cope with that

That it's normal for babies to feed pretty much all night on the second night after birth. This is to get your milk to come in and is something babies are programmed to do. Try not to give in to suggestions that they should have some formula.

That this will happen again at 3 weeks old for the same reason.

That by 6ish weeks you'll wonder why you ever thought it was hard.

Dont ever feel embarassed about feeding in public. Try feeding in front of a mirror or get someone to take a photo so you can see what others can see ie nothing!

I was advised to treat latching on like trying to pull out onto a busy roundabout - as soon as they get their mouth open enough go for it fast or you'll miss your chance!

I wish I had had the foresight to start this post 7 years ago before DD1- well done you, good decision already. Ask for help immediately if you feel you are struggling- it will make all the difference.

I wanted to tell you something a breast feeding counsellor told me when I went to her just before the birth of DD2 looking for advice as things had not gone well with feeding first time. She said when the baby is born put him/her on your chest, skin to skin and just wait. The baby will be recovering from the birth and at some point will go looking for your nipple. I was sceptical but I thought I would go with it. I was lucky; I had a straightforward, fast birth. I put her on my chest skin to skin. When the midwives went to take her off me for checks and weighing I asked them to check her on me, and leave the weighing. I had agreed with DH previously that he would wait to hold her. I felt a little bit bolshy doing this, but as she was my second, I was more confident despite midwife raised eyebrows.

After about 15 mins she lifted her head and started sort of bouncing it across my chest. I put her on the boob and we were off. I had the advantage of some experience of breastfeeding ( I had mix fed with difficulty first time) so I am sure this experience wasnt the only reason I didnt struggle second time, but it was a very positive way to start. Good luck with it all.

The best advice came from the children's centre midwife with ran a breastfeeding workshop.

"It will fecking hurt for the first two weeks, but I promise it will get better after that."

It didn't stop hurting (got mastitis) but by then I had mostly recovered from my EMCS and had the confidence to keep going for a bit longer.

I loved breastfeeding my DD but was in AGONY for the first couple of weeks, even though she was latched on perfectly well and feeding like a trouper. Agony, until 3 things happened; I discovered some 'cool packs' designed for helping cracked nipples, my Mum buying me various nipple creams to try until I found one that worked (Bio-Fem is the brand I preferred BTW!!!) and my nipples de-sensitised. After that, it wasn't entirely a breeze but it was far easier than the (limited) formula feeding I had to adopt with her when she 9.5mths, due to a medical condition. I HATE washing up and my hands suffer BIG time.

All that said - if it isn't for you, it isn't for you, don't beat yourself up BUT I think, for some people, it does require perseverence and determination to succeed (I know the toe curling pain was only endurable because I knew the benefits of BF and I was totally driven to succeed) and if you are already certain you want to do it, then it should make it easier to continue when the going gets tough. That said, it doesn't always get tough and many new mums feed without any problems at all. There are so many supporters on the net, as this thread testifies, and please continue not to be afraid to ask for advice!! Good luck with the birth and breastfeeding of your baby :)

Be able to say to people that you need them to go,or that you need to go and sit in the bedroom by yourself - in the first few days just removing tops is far easier than trying to find a spare hand to push clothing out of the way.

Find a good BF cushion, either a specially designed one or a cushion you already have that puts the baby's head at the right height. I had one that was so big I could simply curl one arm behind her to hold her onto it, but had no weight on that arm at all. Meant I had a hand free, and two hands on occasion, to push my boob into the right place/shape and n the very early days she rested on the cushion and I cupped my hand under her head to get it in the right place. And she didn't get too heavy and make my arm ache!

Try different positions. I couldn't feed sitting upright to begin with but mastered it lying down. Once I could do that easily, I began to try sitting up and as the latch was already established I found it much easier.

Always turn the TV/radio on first and then sit down, keeping remotes to hand. Nothing more annoying than settling down to feed and then finding you are sitting in silence with nothing to do for ages because you are unwilling to pull the baby off the boob, and neither have you mastered the 'walk round feed' yet.

If you master it, enjoy it. It's convenient, and quick, and wonderful to sit nestled with your baby. If you don't, don't sweat it. Plenty of babies are not BF and seem to turn out ok in the end!

Agree with the other posters who said to get experienced bf counsellor details before your birth. Don't be like me. I had a difficult birth, DD was distressed and bruised. We tried and tried during my three days in hospital, midwives tried to help, eventually I was told that 'some babies just don't latch', and was too tired and demoralised to contact any outside help when I got home. I should have persevered. I think she would have figured it out eventually. A lovely lady that I met advised me to contact my local La Leche League but I was very sad and had all sorts of guilt about it all and thought that they would just say what I had been told in hospital. Luckily I had started expressing in hospital, hand expressing first for the colostrum and then pumping. I have quite a good milk supply and was able to feed my DD expressed milk exclusively until 18 weeks. She is now 20 weeks and has one formula feed a day.

I second getting the baby feeding within minutes of the birth. Weighing can come after the latch has been established.

I am breastfeeding now for the fifth time and have had varying success with previous babies. This may be a controversial tip - but I found that taking Motilium transformed my milk supply and wish I'd heard of it before. With DCs 1, 2 and 3 I used to experience the most desperately awful thing of babies sucking, coming off, wailing, rooting, sucking again, then immediately coming off, butting me with their heads and crying. People would say, 'just keep feeding' but mine were too upset and frustrated to suck. When I caved and gave them formula, they immediately wolfed down several ounces like starving babies.

With DC 4 and 5 I have taken Motilium from the off, having read various bits of info about it online. I have had a completely different experience. FINALLY I know what it is like to feed a baby and see it contented. I have occasionally offered a top-up bottle just as an experiment and the baby hasn't even been interested. :)

I buy it online and it costs a fortune but for me it's worth it. For me, fennel tea etc never worked but this does.

Good luck. I will also add that of all my children (some now teenagers) you really can't tell which one was bfed for barely 4 weeks, which for 4 months and which for 7 months. Bfeeding looms as the most important thing in those early days and it's easy to feel suicidal if it isn't working, but at the end of the day, it is only one factor in your child's life. Of course it has many advantages, but I always remind myself that in all the medicals I have ever had, no doctor has ever asked me 'Were you breastfed?'. IMHO it's far more important to make sure your child doesn't smoke or drink or consume too much sugar and stays in good mental health. (Ha. You thought breastfeeding was hard, at least a baby doesn't turn round and say "I don't bloody care about the health benefits, Mum, leave me alone, I'll eat what I like!")

Oh, and there will be a night really near the beginning (I think mine was about night 4) when the baby can't get enough and gets really worked up. You will wish you had some formula because you don't seem to be good enough. I phoned my mat unit I got so stressed.

Don't panic -let the baby suckle. Not much milk for one night won't damage them forever, and letting them suckle will start giving your body cues about what milk it needs to produce. The crying is horrible to listen to but doesn't last and is normal.

Not read all the other posts but

• Buy a kindle if you like to read you day be there for hours in the early days.
• Its normal for them to feed round the clock for a couple of days in the first week its not cos you don't have enough milk its them getting your supply established its usually the afternoon it starts and iirc day 4. and even though the midwife had warned me i still came close to giving up.
• Lansinoh cream is a life saver
• learn how to cosleep safely and feed lying down.
• boppy pillows don't work for everyone (big boobs they can make the baby too high and vis versa)