The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

You can never bf too much. Seriously, just bf all the time. If in doubt, offer the breast! Sometimes I would spend hours at a time feeding, it felt like.

I went as far as waking DD up to bf for the first few days as she was very, very sleepy. I woke her (and myself - with an alarm) every two hours for the first week to feed. As she was so sleepy, she was hardly sucking, so I or DH would bunk cotton wool in cole water and dab it on her to wake her up to suck!!!

Also, when I felt the onset of mastitis/blocked ducts (sore, achy boobs were the warning), I massaged away from the block/ache in the shower and whenever I remebered and ALWAYS started off a feed on that (the achy) side, just for a couple of minutes, before going to the "right" side. Totally avoided mastitis that way.

All this was at the advice of my mum who is a bf counsellor.

Seriously, these things are the best things I did and I am convinced that without them I would not have continued (still going - DD is 15 months!).

yup, stabbing pains in the nipples when she first latches on are not wrong.
That doesn't happen all the time, though, and it stops after a few weeks!

I spent the whole of the first week going "yyyuuuuahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" when she first latched on. but it subsides within seconds, and then you can feel the pulling/sucking, which doesn't hurt at all.
she very rarely hurts when she latches on now (usually after she's not eaten for a few hours)

and frequency is whenever she wants it.
and there really are proper cues as to when she wants to eat. The MN baby book has a list in there, and it's proper accurate. She does all of what they say (and usually in that order!)

Whatever anyone says, I think it's normal for it to be a bit painful for the first 6 weeks or so. My attachment was checked numerous times with both babies and I kept being told it was fine. Even so, I was quite sore until about 6 weeks in. Your nipple has to toughen up and become used to being attached to what feels like a vacuum cleaner!

It's common for it to be painful but not 'normal' - pain is always a sign to seek help. Not sure what you mean by 'whatever anyone says', chocolatemarzipan - the biggest survey of breastfeeding done in the UK is clear enough on this:

"The most frequently cited problem for breast or mixed feeding mothers while in hospital was a failure to latch on properly (60% and 47% respectively) followed by breast or nipple discomfort (24% and 14%)."

www.ic.nhs.uk/statistics-and-data-collections/health-and-lifestyles-related-surveys/infant-feeding-survey/infant-feeding-survey-2005

So a minority (large, but still a minority) of mothers report soreness.

Agree with tiktok. I was one of those (lucky) ones with no real soreness apart form an "owch" feeling that passed within 5 seconds of DD latching on and then I only had that for about 5 days. My mother (bf counsellor) said that if the "toe curling feeling lasts longer than you counting slowly to five", I should latch off with my little finger and latch back on.

As I said above, feeding very often (and waking DD to do so for the first week or so) and on demand and nipping mastitis in the bud were, I think, the keys for me.

That there is more than 1 positive outcome.
My Dts were born 10 weeks early and my breastfeeding 'journey' (for want of a better phrase) has included Ng tubes, pumping, domperidone, shields, and formula top ups after each feed. It is NOT what I hoped for, but 4 months in and they are each feeding from the breast 5/6 times a day still.
With some better advice/luck I might have had a more "purist" outcome. But equally I went into it saying I was going to take it one feed at a time and had I been too absolute about anything I suspect I'd have given up by now.

Kellymom.com is a brilliant resource as is coming on here and asking for advice. If you possibly can also get a bf specialist to help you out if you have any problems.

Especially the first few months you just have to go with the flow and bf as and when the baby wants, which can be absolutely all the time. Although there is no reason why you can't bf and type, watch TV, read a book, etc.

Co-sleeping was the only way to go for me. Before the baby arrived I thought co-sleeping would be too dangerous but in reality I had no choice. Getting out of bed and picking her up up to 10 times a night was out of the question. Feeding lying down is the only thing that has kept me going with the sleep deprivation so far.

It's really lovely when they are a little bit older and they make eye contact when they bf, smile around the nipple or start rooting around to find the breast all by themselves!

To be honest while I was pregnant I was sure that I would breastfeed, because it seemed so natural, so good for mum and baby with all this special bonding but when my baby was born 2 weeks earlier, after 36 hours after my waters broke.he wasn't interested in mummy's boobies, he was so sleepy and looked so tired. Afterwards things become worst It was enough just show my boobie when he started to scream in fear or anger I could'n uderstand.I was expressing milk for one month and before each expressed milk feed I offered him boobie i tried every position midwifes suggested, and every postion I can find online, nothing worked and then just 2 days before he was 1 month old he didn't screamed when he saw mummy's bobbies but just started to eat...yeh, you can't imagine how happy I was.It was our little victory. It was really hard at the beggining and to be honest no one believed that I will breastfeed him but I did and it was best decision I ever made.

Vincenta - that must have been such an amazing experience for you! What a great way for your baby to say thank you to you for all the hard work you had to do

birdsofshoreandsea - sorry, not setting up myself as some kind of breast feeding expert here, but I just read the suggestion of 6 mins either side in Tizzie Hall (not that I'm a fan of all of her ideas) and got told more or less the same thing in hospital, and it worked very well for my DD and I. Also, I did say for a couple of hours, it's just that my DD happened to wish to feed every 4, and she's always been a good feeder and a healthy little podge! Not interested in arguing with you but the op asked for tips that we've found good, and this happened to be a lifesaver for me, as bf was really bloody painful at first! Agree with tiktok that anyone can see that what works for one of us will not necassarily work for all of us.
hct123 - that was precisely my feeling about bf!

One thing I wish I'd known was that BF babies digest their food much faster than FF babies so they WILL feed more often. Also FF babies are more likely to sleep through the night earlier (based on the mums and babies I know). In other words, I wish I'd known to relax about it all and not worry!

"so they WILL feed more often. Also FF babies are more likely to sleep through the night earlier "

Not necessarily ime.

As has already been said all personal experiences do not always apply to all babies (including mine :) ) so I thought I would just say that I have had a bf baby that went 3-4 hours between feeds and none of mine slept through the night early regardless of bf or ff.

I did say it was based on the mums and babies I know! Just trying to make the point that stressing about what other people's babies are doing is a waste of time

That it is perfectly normal for the baby to want to feed all evening every evening. Just resign yourself to sitting in front of the telly/laptop for hours with a baby latched on...

That if you get it right...life is good. You can go anywhere, anytime with baby and don't have to spend endless amount of time washing and sterilising bottles!!

I live in Wales and we have breast feeding support that the hospital will send to you house if you need it, the best thing they showed me was the feeding position where the baby straddles your leg and their tummy is against yours, at lot of my friends were never shown this and it is by far the most easiest feeding position for you & baby. They say 2 feed on demand however if your baby is happy to 4hrs between feeds then that might not be enough to build your supply. Even after 7wks of breast feeding you will still be ironing out the kinks so take it easy on yourself, it's hard but worth it. Breast shells are a must! I wish I had of got them in the first few weeks of I had of known how much my boobs were going to leak! I wish I had of co slept in the beggining to make night feelings easier. If you want routine then do one, they do work when breast feeding.

My pennies' worth:

Support: make sure DH/OH is fully supportive of your choice and does the things apart from feeding (nappy change, wind, bath etc).

Look after yourself: Someone told me to have a little box next to feeding chair/in bed with large bottle of water, magazine, breakfast bars, ipod etc. DH/OH to support with housework. BF'ing takes it out of you so make sure you eat as well as you can (I lived on sandwiches for what felt like weeks but with a bit of salad, fairly healthy) and drink plenty of fluids.

Clothes: other posters have mentioned the mess, full agree. Invest in some good nursing vests/tops for day time and some cheap vests for night time (primark do ace hidden support ones that fit breast pads in)

Research: like some others have put, read up on how breastfeeding works (on demand etc) Kellymom website is fab.

Do what's right for you: if you need to co-sleep, do so; if you need to cluster feed, do so; if you get comments which upset you from family/friends/'creating a rod for your own back brigade' - Ignore them. you will get this, I did from some family member (most were supportive) but I just switched off to it and carried on doing what felt right to me.

Agree with other comments on here. Great thread for first time mums new to breastfeeding.

I got through tongue tie of dd, mastitis and sore nips in the first two weeks and dd is 5 months now and we are still going strong.

All the best

That feeding constantly is totally fine and normal. And I mean constantly.

And supply and demand. Babies know what they're doing.

Babies are supposed to feed little and often.

Fuck the housework .

or indeed lots and often

That there is a huge range of 'normal' bfing experiences.

Some bf babies will only feed around every 3 hours(ish), sleep through the night very early and a little discomfort might be as bad as it gets painwise (my DS1 was one of these)

Some bf babies can feed for 6 hours solidly and still be hungry half an hour later, not sleep through by the time they're a year old and, even without latching problems, it can be agony feeding just because your nipples never get a break (hello DS2).

As far as I can tell there's no difference in how much milk I produce, they're just different babies!

Tolerate it for 6 weeks and it will be fine.

Some babies know how to BF and carry on BF and some haven't a clue.

Unless DC has done a massive explosive poo, don't worry about changing them before you feed her.
changing a nappy while a starving baby is screaming is horrible; it makes me feel like a failure and like my baby thinks i'm torturing her.
change her when she's full (cos she'll poo again anyway!)

Its very easy to feel (and be made to feel) that if you're not feeding in a textbook way there is something wrong with you or your baby e.g. "you're not eating enough (had lost baby weight quickly) and not producing enough milk, that's why your baby is feeding every hour and screaming at feeding time" - breast feeding support worker, or "your baby is using and abusing you, just make them learn to feed less often" - health visitor. Both comments given when DD was 6 weeks and both made me feel bad and upset about how others say my PFB (BF support worker less so as she was generally very supportive, HV suggested I do CC at 6 weeks to stop DD sleeping on me and get her into her crib).

What I'm trying to say is that BF is a skill that both you and your baby have to learn and its not the fault of either side if it doesn't go exactly as expected. The relief I felt the first time a friend said their baby fed every hour to hour and a half for the first 3 months was immense!

Also wish I'd known that there may be times when your baby screams when feeding but they will pass and it doesn't mean they don't love you .

It's not necessarily going to be hell at first. I had great experiences with both mine. They never cluster fed etc and slept well from the off. My DS put on a pound a week from feeding every 3 hours for about 20 mins. Dont know how he did it but he did.

He had a great latch but second people saying it can be painful - the first 90 secs of feeding DS had me in tears for the first three weeks. Once 90 secs over, no pain, in fact it felt quite nice!!

Once they are 10 weeks plus it's great. My DS strokes my boob and beams at me while feeding!!