The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

Not read entire thread so may have been covered already but my tips:

1- the best advice I got was to check that the baby's lower lip is completely curled out (like here), that shows the latch is good. In other words it's not just the nipple that goes into the baby's mouth, it's lots of the aureola as well, really fills deep into baby's mouth. You'd think it's uncomfortable but no that's how proper suction happens without hurting you (and baby will breathe through nose). If the baby is just sucking on the tip of the breast that's when it gets sore - and when it gets sore and raw it really hurts and takes ages to heal.
By the way this means if they get a cold and have a stuffed nose the poor mites find it difficult, have to keep breaking off the breast to breathe .

2- assume you've read this already, but to release the latch slip your little finger underneath the breast into baby's mouth to break the suction first

3- if it's sore or just for variety try the 'rugby' hold instead where you hold the baby by your side instead of across the front, as this changes the angle hence any pressure point on the nipple

yy to putting them straight to the breast after birth, this didn't happen with DS, my first, and it took quite a time for us to learn to latch. Fortunately lots of different midwives (this was a long time ago so was in hospital for a while), gave lots of different advice, so I could just go with what worked/what chimed with me.

Happened with DD, and no problem. Course I was a bit more experienced!

Get a safety pin or something and pin it on the side you last used at the end of a feed. I could never remember which one it was

23 and 20 years ago now. A lovely experience both times.

To clear a blocked duct position the baby with it's chin in line with the blockage.

Yes yes yes to the kindle and also invest in one of the lit covers for night feeds so you can read in the dark (these also give just enough light to do a night nappy change).

Have an area downstairs and one upstairs for feeding with kindle, phone, remote, drink, cake etc handy.

Nursing chairs are lovely if you have space.

It's not always difficult; I am extremely lucky and have never had any pain or difficulty BFing.

Have some emergency formula in your hospital bag and at home just in case things go wrong; you don't want to be without milk in the middle of the night. Just knowing it's there might take the pressure off if you're getting stressed.

I'm sure others will have said it but evening cluster feeding when the DC refuses to let go of you is normal (although a bit frustrating). Make sure your DP is prepared to cook, clean up and cut up your food for you so you can eat your dinner one-handed. It doesn't last for long.

Tell anyone who goes about co-sleeping to feck off. So long as you're doing it safely it is lovely and great for your supply to have your baby next to you. You'll get waaay more sleep and it is not a 'rod for you back' so back off mum. When you need to put DC in a cot, try a side-car.

Oxytocin is awesome stuff. I think I'm addicted as the only way I can get to sleep at night is after feeding DD!

If you're worried about feeding in public, go with other BFers. I like to think that every time I BF in public, I am normalising it just a little bit more.

There is no substitute for real life good advice if you are struggling with positioning or attachment, but an NCT bf counsellor gave me a useful bit of general advice on the phone when my dd1 was 3 days old, which was either an inspired guess, or perhaps improves things for almost everyone: hold the baby as close to you as you can, forget about the head for a minute and tuck the baby's tummy right around you and clutch in its bottom as if you are trying to wear it as a belt. This somehow makes the head and mouth much more likely to be in the right position. Also, take the baby's lower arm and tuck it under yours, out of the way, as a frantic hungry baby might be flailing and confusing the issue.

the main thing, though, as everyone else says, is don't worry about anyone else. My mother (who bfed us all) thought you should only feed the baby every 4 hours and I kept making excuses to hide in my room to feed her.

I have exclusively BF 3 children and I'm also a BF Peer Supporter.
This is what I wish I'd known:

1. The first 6 weeks are the most challenging. Feed the baby EVERYTIME he/she asks for a feed, even if it was just 5 minutes ago. BF works on supply and demand. If you don't allow the baby to BF on demand then you won't supply it. This is especially true in the first 6 weeks.
2. Ignore the following comments, 'Are you feeding again?', 'That baby should be sleeping more', 'That baby must be hungry', 'Give that baby a bottle just to give yourself a rest'.
3. If dad or any other relative says, 'I want to feed the baby, it'll allow me to be closer/build a bond', tell them they can talk to baby, cuddle baby, change baby, bath baby, take baby for a walk.
4. If it hurts, then you are not doing it right, do not put up with pain, ever! Seek out the advice of a specific BF councillor (in my experience in the UK midwives are not reliable sources for help when it comes to BF).
5. Be postive and determind HOWEVER DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP IF YOU FEEL YOU NEED TO CHANGE YOUR PLANS.

You'll be a mother forever, feeding is just one element of motherhood.

Oh yes, kindle with light. Also iphone or android so you can mumsnet with one thumb. Also, start putting dinners in the freezer now. Also, get a good haircut not too long before the baby comes that will last you a few weeks for morale.

Treadmillion I really can't agree with this one:

1. If it hurts, then you are not doing it right, do not put up with pain, ever!

All mine hurt. At least for the first 2w. Some eased a bit sooner and one was still hurting at 6w. While I'll accept that I might not have been doing it right for the first, I definitely knew what I was doing for the next 8. So, while your no. 4 might be generally true, it isn't always (or at least not in my case and I don't think I'm unique')

I haven't read the whole thread so appologies if repeated:

1. it is not something that you will just know how to do (or the baby) it is a SKILL!

1. It can hurt, if latching not correctly it will hurt a lot, so make sure you are latching correctly, and then, the let down can hurt too, but it all passes.

1. lanisoh is great but you don't need to buy tons of it because your nipples toughen up.

1. Always follow the tummy to tummy rule (at least for the first 6 months I'd say, just in case) as it makes it all so much easier.

1. I have only know really started enjoying it (10 months on).

and have you heard of biological nurturing? it's bollocks.

That in the first few months, feeding every hour or even every 45 minutes is completely normal. And that's often why they are crying.

Why is biological nurturing 'bollocks' Iamjustthe milkmachine?

Did it not work for you?

Find places where you can get qualified breastfeeding support before the birth, that way you are prepared if you need support
Keep going beyond the first couple of months, it gets much easier as time goes on
The phrase "he/she can't possibly be hungry, I only fed them x hours ago" doesn't exist

And why we're often cryingcotton, but it does get easier.

I wish i'd have got a nursing necklace or something for her to fiddle with rather than the opposite nipple.

crickey not it didn't, ds would've only sucked his own hand!

I have not read the whole thread but TIME, it takes time. Newborns take ages to feed and will feed often. Feed on demand and do not put pressure on yourself to do or be anything different other than a feeding Mum.

I breast fed for 7 months but it was really hard work. These are things I wish I'd known at the start.

1. The 'if it hurts you're not doing it properly' is rubbish. I lost count of the number of midwives, health visitors etc. who examined me feeding and found nothing wrong. In the end I survived by alternating paracetamol and ibuprofen half an hour before each feed (at my health visitor's suggestion). The pain lasted 10 weeks, and then things got much easier.

1. Babies can feed every 2 hours for 30-40 minutes day and night for the first 5 months.

1. Trying to get them to convert from breast to bottle later on can be very difficult - a nightmare if you need to go back to work.

1. Whilst breastfeeding you never get an unconditional cuddle. It's all milk milk milk! Even if she was full she would grizzle and pester me for milk every time I picked her up. It got to the stage where she wouldn't sleep if I was in the room because she could smell the milk. It was so nice to get proper cuddles after she was weaned.

However, I survived the regulation 6 months plus, which pleased my health visitor no end - I think they must have targets to meet.

Now I'm expecting my second I am going to breastfeed again, but if it's as hard as it was last time I won't beat myself up about mixed feeding or even giving up completely.

Good luck!

Breastfeeding will make you extremely thirsty, so be sure to keep a bottle of water handy

If it hurts, beyond the first few seconds AT ALL, get a bf counsellor to check your latch.

Go to a bfing information session run by the nhs, nct or la leche league before your dc is born. As well as the useful information, you will meet experts who can help you if it gets tough.

It is worth persisting. Within a couple of months, most of the time, even klutzes like me find it becomes second nature.

I haven't read the whole thread but wanted to add my thoughts.

Get help with latching if it's not right, I was sure it was ok with ds1 and ended up with huge cracks in my nipples, thrush and mastitis but I cried my way through the first 8 weeks and fed him until 15 months. With ds2 I took him off when I knew it was wrong rather than just leaving it and although my nipples were sore for 2 weeks I didn't get a single crack and had no other problems.

With ds1 he fed for an hour at a time and I was told not to take him off, because of the pain I was in I paid attention to what he was doing and when I could hear he was no longer swallowing regularly I took him off to give me some relief. I'm sure there will be others who will say this is wrong but he put on upto 1lb a week and was a happy baby.

Babies are very different, ds1 never cluster fed and was feeding almost straight away every 3 hours and one feed a night. He slept through from 14 weeks (drives me mad when people say you have to wean them before they sleep through) and had both breasts at every feed. He piled on weight and was on the 98th centile but as much as he loved milk when I started weaning him he dropped milk feeds very quickly. Ds2 only had one side a feed, was on 75th centile, fed very erratically and cluster fed for 2-3hours every evening, didn't sleep through until 7 months and was feeding 2-4 times a night. When I started weaning him he clung to his milk and at 16 months still has 2 feeds a day. Both were put straight onto my chest when born and latched within 20 mins of being born but my milk took 5 days to come in with ds1 and 2 with ds2, neither needed anything other than clostrum in those days.

Trust yourself and your baby, they will tell you what they need but don't assume every cry means they need milk it doesn't. I didn't co-sleep with either and survived the night feeds. I used nipple shields against advice for 2 days with ds1 and they saved me bf. Don't trust how much you express as how much you are producing, I expressed loads with ds1 and almost nothing with ds2 but both bf with no problems and were getting enough milk.

Don't let your family get to you, I have a very supportive dh but my mum wasn't happy about me bf. It's very hard to ignore when you have a colicy crying baby, very sore nipples and are hormonal and tired when they're 6 weeks old but do what YOU feel is right.

Drink loads!!

Yes, it does hurt for some even if the latch is fine. (I know this was the case with me because it was agony when I was hitched up to the hospital's breastpump for one second on the lowest setting; not everyone's breasts can cope with the new experience of firm suction, and I was particularly unsusceptible to leaky boobs).

The first 7 weeks or so are the hardest, both for pain with those who get it and because baby will feed round the clock. Sometimes you may just have half an hour between really long feeds. You need to let baby suck for ages to get the fattiest and most nutritious part of the milk. Initially found it took about 45 minutes into a feed for this to come out (observing my milk supply when expressing), but I'm sure it's shorter for many. But babies get more efficient at getting the milk out, and the feeds get shorter. Also your supply problems tend to sort themselves out by 7 weeks or so, and suddenly it's easy.

No need to keep your partner awake through the night, as he can't bring anything to the party. Let him sleep, and use his gratitude and energy to get more cooking and cleaning out of him during the day, as you won't have time for any of that. Make sure you get enough time to shower and brush your teeth.

Babies have growth spurts, the worst I remember being the 6-week one, which meant I never seemed to have enough milk. Cue hours of screaming. Swap feeding between breasts during these periods as it ups the milk supply.

Cosleeping is brilliant and actually very safe. The statistics for mortality for cosleeping babies include cases of parents falling asleep drunk on the sofa. Because of cosleeping I have been able to immediately spot when my baby had a fever, had dangerously overheated, had a bit of blanket over his face, and cosleeping is good for babies' stress levels and to encourage healthy breathing patterns and sleep cycles. But don't put him between you and your partner, because dads sleep heavily baby or no and may roll in the wrong direction. You won't do this (but a cosleeper cot, or a long pillow used to make a nest for baby will make things safer).

But everyone will tell you different things. Trust your instincts, and never mistrust your baby. It is so much easier to bond with your baby if you bf, and makes for lots of happy experiences between the two of you well after you would have thought you'd have switched onto bottles.

My main piece of advice would be to feed feed feed, especially in the first few days/weeks, even if it feels like there is 'nothing there'. I got so many conflicting comments from mws and relatives with my 1st that I began to believe that babies had a routine, they could 'try it on' and ask for a feed but not really want one (what a silly idea! Why would a newborn want to con you into a cuddle? ). I had supply probs and dc had weight gain probs. Not helped by this advice but also allergies too.
With DC2 I fed, fed, fed, and even woke her in the day to feed so we had a quieter night. And co-slept. What a different experience! Happy mum and toot.

Expect to fully establish breast feeding for a couple of months before expressing.

Ignore anyone who is negative about BFing.

Expect the baby to lose weight after they are first born. Mone took 3 weeks to regain the weight.

Expect BFing not to be easy at first. Contact one of the many help lines if you need support - i did. With my first I had two weeks of hell but realised that my position wasn't quite right (needed to be closer and higher with much more open mouth). I've gone on to BF for a year with each of mine.

Expect BFing to take lots and lots of time in the early days. You could easily spend an hour feeding then half an hour break before trying to feed again.

Your milk will come in on the 3rd day. The baby will be very hungry on the 2nd night and you will probably get very little sleep.

Use cushions to help bring baby up to you. Lose tops enable feeding in public with no flesh on show.

Co-sleeping is great.

Soon after a few months baby will feed quickly and efficiently

Oh and my BF babies were very light - 2nd percentile. They are just as healthy if they are small due to genetics. Sometimes the MW's are slow to realise that small parents equals small baby

i breast fed 4 babies for total of 6 months each
i never managed to express!
use vasceline on nipples daily.
pads a must
1st 2 weeks are hard but don't give up. it becomes really easy after.
enjoy! i loved breast feeding

Find some breastfeeding friends. NCT antenatal group, La Leche League, baby cafe drop-in, or just someone you know who's also breastfeeding. Feeding together and chatting about it in the early days normalises your own experience and makes you feel less isolated, especially if you don't have family support or understanding of why you want to breastfeed. A HV or your midwife ought to be able to point you in the right direction for baby cafes, etc. Not sure what the set-up in America is, but LLL groups could be great if you have one locally.

I owe my sanity to cosleeping second time round. I just about coped with the sleep deprivation with DS1, but then I didn't have an older child to look after, so I could spend my days in a stupor, reading or watching tv while he fed and slept on my lap. Of course, I now have a 13 month old still in bed with us and I'd quite like him to move over, but he does give nice cuddles.