The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

Breastfeeding is a full time job, certainly for the first six weeks at least. It does get easier and indeed can get to the point where you wonder how parents using formula feed cope with the bottles/sterilising/having the right amount of everything when going out/lack of flexibility to change plans when out.

I struggled at first but ended up EBF for 6 months and continuing until my son weaned himself at nearly 15 months. My complete ignorance of how much FF babies get (ie: xx ounces per feed) was a huge help in the early days. By the time I found out, I was confident enough to not care - my baby was gaining weight and formula is different from breastmilk anyway.

Good luck Fishpond!

yay tiktok!!

Agree with the comments that it may well be v sore to start with even if you are doing it right. It was really painful for us, even though we had our latch checked countless times at home visits by a breast feeding counsellor, and had baby checked for tongue tie.

Also, that the nighttime cluster feeding is totally normal and will pass (and then you might even miss it - its not too bad being pinned to the sofa of an evening, if you can convince your DH to do all the cooking etc).

It does get so, so much better if you decide to carry on. I have to be honest and say I absolutely hated it to start with, and had to grit my teeth and go from feed to feed, only intending to make it to six weeks if that. My baby had other ideas (she is a bottle refuser) and now 8 months on I am intending to carry on till at least a year and possibly more. It is so easy, so lovely, so convenient, and so, so, so good when your baby is ill. For us, it's really amazing. And I NEVER thought I'd say that!

get the phone number of an iblc lactation counsellor onyour fridge, and be ready to use it. research bf support in your town, in mine (north nj) there was a surprising amount.
Set your expectations and those of your DH and any visiting family.for the first 3-6 weeks your job is to sit on your butt and feed your baby. set up a feeding dstation: drinks and snacks and the remote and phone. If people ask what they can do to help, offer them the vaccum cleaner or a grocery list or whatever.
get a boppy.
Netflix! with nothing upsetting in your queue!
l found the first 3 weeks exhausting but it got easier and easier until a.snuggly bedtime feed now (DS is 18 months) is one of the most peaceful and cuddly times of my day.
ask ask ask for help! if your baby cant stick out his tongue ask someone to check for tongue.tie.and if there is one, get it snipped asap.
the women on here reassurred me and kept me sane. stick.around!

What is a boppy??

Not the most helpful thing but so much good advice has already been given.... I wish I hadn't completely believed your period doesn't come back for ages if you exclusively breastfeed.

Mine came back exactly 6 weeks after giving birth and it really shocked me and made me feel cheated. I wish I'd been prepared for it.

Good luck.... I love breastfeeding now the initial hard work is done. Hope it is as rewarding for you.

That you'll miss it like mad when you stop and will always gaze wistfully at bfeeding mothers!

'for the first 3-6 weeks your JOB is to sit on your butt and feed your baby'

That.

If you have a jaundiced baby, get advice soonest, and until the advice gets there, just feed.

That your milk will often be delayed after an ECS - so don't panic.

That even though it's been just half an hour since your last feed ended and your breasts feel soft they are not "empty", despite what helpful relatives may tell you.

If baby seems to have turned into a boob monster then skin to skin can work miracles and trying to distract them will often just stress you both out. Growth spurts happen so make sure you have plenty of DVDs and food you can eat with one hand...

start collecting tv to watch and meals to eat in the freezer now....

It is tough but do not be afraid to ask for help be that from medical professionals about feeding, or from friends and family for moral support.

Positioning is as important as latch.

The 6 week growth spurt will end but recruit a friend to sit on the sofa with you and feed you cake to get through it.

My mantra in the tough times is " if I give up now and tomorrow she becomes calm/ stops cluster feeding/ growth spurt ends I will be really annoyed so I will keep going for one more day."

I forgot
A V pillow is wonderful for all evening feeding marathons.
Yes baby can be hungry again even if you only finished feeding 10 mins ago.
Mostly believe your body can do it and it probably will.

a boppy is a breastfeeding pillow they make here in the US. handy!

the new mother mantra for me was "if in doubt, get one out." stopped me thinkimg how can he be hungry again or watching the clock.

Sorry about crap typing earlier, was on the train. here you go mrsalwaysawake - friends who bottlefed used them too, in general they are considered life/armsavers over here. There's also a pillow called (cringe) "My Brest Friend" which I liked even more. People tend to give them away/ sell them cheap second hand, OP, so keep your eye out, as they're pricey new and I got both of mine for $5 each.
I got DH to bring the boppy into hospital, and it was really useful there, as there weren't enough bloody pillows to get sorted and the bloody hospital wouldn't bloody bring me any bloody more.
BUT apart from them being crap, BF worked out fine!

There's a book called "The Food Of Love" which was one of the most helpful BF things I read- I still read it after DS was born, and it was the only one I consulted after the birth. Lots of handy pictures to help you understand how the attachment to the breast works, and not bossily written, more like a nice friend talking to you.

Ooh, I have 'my brest friend', and I LOVE it! Still going strong at nearly 6 months

That you'll miss it like mad when you stop and will always gaze wistfully at bfeeding mothers!

So true

That it is HARD, but worth persevering.

That a good BF counsellor will save your sanity in the early days.

That having your DH/DP on board will save your sanity the rest of the time.

That Lansinoh is 7 quid on Amazon

All of the above - it's bloody, bloody time consuming in the early days.

Kellymom is your friend (and MN is too :) )

Get the number of a bf counsellor/lactation consultant and don't be afraid to call them.

When your baby is feeding and guzzling away happily at the breast you will get a feeling of such joy and well-being and 'all is right with the world' that it doesn't matter if it's 3am and you haven't slept for more than 20 mins in the last 24 hours.

Feeding lying down in bed is a lifesaver.

Prepare your partner - men often feel a bit 'left out' in the early days and my DH was a bit overwhelmed by this tiny thing that spent hours and hours and hours on my breast and when it wasn't on my breast I was hooked up to a breast pump trying to build up a stash for when I went back to work.

That you will need to learn lots about your own body and your milk supply, but also lots from the baby like visual clues as to how hungry they are. With mine, when they latched on in the early days, if their hand was very close to their mouth almost to the point of stopping the nipple going in, you knew they were very hungry. Then as they feed their arm is like a hand on a clock, it starts straight up near your chin and the longer they feed they start to move it down your cleavage til it is by their side. So by looking at their arm When they latched on, i could tell if they wanted a long feed or just a bit of a cuddly quick nuzzle. I have only seen that once in a magazine and it popped in my head when I started bf with ds2.

That you will read lots on mm but only post, one handed typingly, if you think that your post can help someone else

That the look on their face when they are full makes it all worth it. When they finish they do a big stretch like they have had a hard day at the office, then they lie back with their mouth open, totally zoned out. We call it milkified.

dodgy advice and myths on here about sections and about milk supply, but some good tips also

mine to add would be that expressing tells you nothing about supply, jst about effectiveness of transference. was gutted to only get drops out

if you want to express, it's easier i find in the morning using the baby feeding to get a let down. continue expressing when nothing is coming out. sometimes you get a second let down

when supply has settled weeks in breasts can lose that full feeling. don't worry tht your supply has dwindled

don't get caught up in foremilk/hindmilk worries. switching breasts is good for supply and weight gain issues

if your baby is jaundiced and sleepy, overhandling can make them shut down more. gentle persistence is needed. not frantic mauling!

many weight issues in the arly overabundant days are issues over tranference, not poor supply, so get latch and positioning and never pass a chance to feed

feeding in a sling mean you can deal with other children, get out of the house easily.

the first three months are very different to the next

apols shoddy ipad spelling'

should add that in both modes of delivery the placenta is removed, which is the hormone trigger. then it's down to nipple stimulation -- loads of it! no difference really although anecdotally you will hear that some mothers found feeding while recovering from surgery was trickier.

It really does hurt at first and can do for weeks! It DOESN'T mean you're doing it wrong... I was in agony at times for the first seven weeks or so, with a real blip at three weeks when she had a bit of a nursing strike and I had to pump.

Then it got better. One of my theories is that she just got bigger and so did her mouth!-looking at the latch in the early toe-curling days she didn't seem badly latched, just couldn't get enough nipple in her mouth to not be pressing slightly awkwardly.

So, persevere. Have confidence. Come straight here for advice if there's a problem or just to discuss progress. All the above about lengths of feeds, cluster feeding, etc. all true- yes, perfectly normal to have baby attached for the whole evening if they feel like it (they generally have their own nefarious plans you see, which include stimulating you to up your production to meet increasing needs- very clever these babies).

Looking back, bf TOOK OVER OUR LIVES for those first weeks - and that's the way it has to be in a sense. It takes a few weeks for both you and your baby to learn it and it HAS to be a priority in order for you to do so. Then once you're in tune- it's as natural as breathing. But NOT at first. So don't be disheartened or listen to the doubters. Family especially- have a speech prepared about how you expect nothing less than FULL support from the people who love this baby to help ensure he/she gets this wonderful start in life.

So no, they won't get to hold a bottle. They'll be doing something FAR more subtly valuable and loving and supportive - washing those dishes, making that tea- little tasks of love which will help you to rest, feed and nurture.

Good luck!!!

That each passing of the first few weeks feel like a milestone. DD is 7 weeks now but when she was having her 3 week growth spurt and I was recovering from my emergency c-section it was so relentless that I almost gave up.

Pre-cooked frozen meals, a supportive DH and sister and an attitude of keep going got me through and now I'm starting to enjoy it!