The most helpful thing about breastfeeding you wish you'd known...

[Fishpond]

I am hoping to breastfeed DC1 when he/she is born next summer. I am not a crazy anti-formula woman, but it's very common here in the US to bottle feed so I expect to get a bit of looks and meet a bit of resistance, so would like to go in with the most knowledge possible from (imo) the best experts - mums who previously breastfed.

What do you wish you had known before you started? I plan on not buying bottles / formula in 'just in case' as I have heard that makes it much easier to stop. Family is already telling me that I'll "need to have bottles or else you can't pass it to anyone else"

That milk is richer in the morning and gets increasingly less so throughout the day. I couldn't produce enough milk in evening to satisfy my huge DS and we used to go through 30 min feed, scream, feed, scream cycles until about 4am. It was hell. Someone told me to express a bottle first thing in the morning to give him last thing at night. This really worked and he slept through almost immeadiately. Best tip ever.

Don't let anyone put you off. My DS was in a special unit for the first week and tube fed, but I still managed to breast feed him after that thanks to one midwifes advice to express (nothing really came out but it got things going!!)
I also mix fed him and managed to keep BF until he was 8 mths. DD was EBF until 15 mths because she absolutely refused bottles, cups, FF or cows milk so rememebr to follow the needs of your baby.
Even as a novice, yor instincts are probably right, even early on. If you feel something is right (or wrong) go with it!!
Good luck!

Plus daddy can do evening bath and feed!

Not so much a 'wish I'd known' but 'things I found really helpful':

• Mumsnet and kellymom.com: just search any question you have and there's usually a discussion on the topic - if not, start one!
• Having my dh totally pro-bf and super-informed really helped us work together (all 3 of us) to get it 'right' in terms of latch etc. (You could do the same
• Real-life support is fantastic (and essential?)
• Being as knowledgeable as possible about bf, how milk production works, signs of block/mastitis/thrush/tongue-tie, nutritive and non-nutritive sucks etcetcetcetc made a massive difference.
• Getting help from a professional who understands that you reallyreallyreally want to breastfeed and totally supports your choice really helps too.

One thing I did wish I had prepared myself for is when dd was ill and could not feed: it felt like a rejection of me!

All the best - it can't be easy when you're swimming against your culture. I had so much scaffolding and still found it difficult!

Take one day at a time.

Know about growth spurts, and that it's normal to feed almost constantly for up to a week during these times (but can only be 2/3 days too!)

Don't focus on routine, just enjoy your baby and your time together.

If anyone trie to give advice/comments on the baby using you as a dummy/give a bottle/should be sleeping through by now etc etc...just smile and say 'that's interesting', 'I'll think about doing that', 'thank you for that', and then forget it!

That "normal" within bf is a very wide category and to an extent you just have to suck it and see (or rather they do )

Try not to worry too much about feeding frequency/duration of feeding so long as the baby is gaining weight and producing plenty of wet nappies.

Do what works for you in terms of feeding position. Try a few and see. Personally I preferred to sit up, even for night feeds, but I know many women prefer lying down.

The 6week thing is so true. That if you get to 6weeks, you are doing great, and after this point it does all seem to get easier. Especially things like nice lunches out when you have no bottles to pack, or when yours is a bit whingy you can comfort immediately with a quick bit of boob.

But also that the first few weeks can be exhausting, difficult, uncomfortable, limiting. I think people have unrealistic expectations and then when they are not met they assume something is wrong. Start with low expectations. And that reading certain magazines which congratulate new celeb mums for looking fantastic and being out on the town within 2weeks of birth may make you cross :)

That it can be difficult. I'd say with your first it takes a few weeks to get the hang of it.
Babies can feed constantly in the early days and on growth spurts.
All babies feed differently. I've had 3 dc and they've all been different (slow feeders/faster feeders etc)
When you don't do it any more you really miss it.

It can be toe curlingly painful when they first latch on.
Cracked and bleeding nipples are normal so make sure you buy some lansinoh (like lip salve but for nipples) for when they are just bloody stumps.

Not all bad though, the pain doesn't last forever, and it is such a lovely snuggly thing to do with your baby it is worth every but of it.

That sore, even cracked, nipples doesn't necessarily mean you're doing it wrong. I got sore with all three of mine but in each case it healed within two weeks and they all went on to become fervent bf-ers.

Oh, and learn to recognise the signs of mastitis so you can get abs and stop it in its tracks.

Good Luck

Some fab advice here. Yep, even with a good catch, it can hurt like buggery for the first few weeks.

Mumsnet is your friend, there is so much wonderful advice and support. Am now 7 months in, introduced a bottle of formula dream feed at 3 months, once my supply was secure and now don't want to give up!

I can see me continuing for at least a year, and would never have believed that in the first couple of weeks.

Lansoih (sp?) is great, use it after every feed until you don't need it anymore, about 3-4 weeks for me. I went through 2 tubes of the stuff.

From about 5 months in, when they start playing with you and staring adoringly at you while they feed, it's the best, cutest thing ever!

Good luck!

That milk may not always be the answer, but it is sometimes the solution.

By that I mean, I wish I'd realised that the breast can, and should be used to comfort the baby, calm, give pain relief and help them off to sleep. Milk doesn't just need to be a hunger satisfier and it's good that you can offer comfort to your baby.

Although others may disagree, there has been no research to show that what you eat and drink will affect the quantity of quality of your milk. You need to eat and drink to thirst so that you feel well, but it will have no bearing on your milk supply.

To ignore people who use the phrase 'rod for your back', 'spoiling the baby' or 'is he feeding again?'.

I wish I'd asked for more help in the early days- in terms of help around the house as well as breastfeeding support. First time around, I had not a clue how much support was available.

To enjoy a babymoon with number one. It gets harder to do this once you have more DCs.

I wish I'd never read any 'routine' type books and instead read the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding first time round. It's hard to get that 'magic' three hour routine out of your head and realise that frequent and unlimited feeds really are the way to go.

"That babies can feed for say 40 mins-an hour and then be back on again within the hour."

Yep, I wish I'd been told that, rather than what my midwife said at three days old: "you need to switch to formula, you don't have enough milk to support him if you're feeding more than once every two hours. We'll put him on formula and every time he feeds you can pump". Led to a very disastrous start to bf as my body found it very hard to catch up without stimulation - I just don't produce much when pumping.

1. They can want to feed often and for long periods at the start. If they are not wanting to feed very often or are too sleepy, get a check-up just in case - probably nothing (some babies don't feed much in the first two days) but worth checking (mine didn't latch because he has pneumonia, only picked up on because I kept asking about bf despite being told that he was fine - he hadn't latched by day 3).

1. Always have a jug of water or squash next to you, and some snacks.

1. Sky+ is your friend.

1. Ensure that if you have a partner, they know exactly what to do to support you - making tea, fetching you phones/remote controls in the morning etc.

1. Don't be too worried about bf in public - most people don't even notice.

1. As many have already said, doing what's right for you is the best thing. This may mean combination feeding, ff or ebf, pumping and giving ebm, whatever. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do one thing as when your LO comes along, situations can change.

Just seen Seeline's post.

Just goes to show different experiences are par for the course - pumping worked for her but not for me.

Ultimately yours will be an individual case and you need to be prepared for the unexpected!

dd and I found it very natural and straight-forward and it didn't hurt at all - so I hope you are lucky like us and your DC1 takes to it like a duckling to water !

I think many problems can be averted by feeding little, and especially, often !

If you want to spend some quiet time with your DC1 in the early days then don't be nervous of taking yourselves off to bed for example. I feel I spent a bit too much time entertaining visitors, which though nice in many ways was a bit tiring.
They'd cuddle her and only pass her back when she started crying for a feed which wasn't always great ! - Especially when MIL started giving me unwanted advice about how to get her to go longer between feeds ( on about day 3! )

It can seem like the most difficult thing to start with, then it becomes autopilot. And you miss it when you stop Or rather, when they stop.

A year since DS weaned himself, he is three now and we had a very difficult start with him losing 17.5% of his birthweight - had small amounts of topups, first formula then EBM and got back to solely BF by 8weeks. It was hard work those first weeks but so worth it.

Skin to skin at delivery if you can and let the baby latch on when ready, there is so much programming going on in that first hour.
It took two weeks with ds1 to latch on the right side, just kept pumping and he got it eventually.
Find a friend who has or is breast feeding happily and watch them.
Trust your baby and your boobs, you will be feeding a lot for months this is normal.
Enjoy it, currently feedin ds5 who is just one and love looking at his lovely chubby body and marvelling how clever it is.

3 breastfed babies.

things i now know (everyone is different)

it hurts for the firt few weeks

it gives u back ache

you dont have any time for yourself

forget everything else normal and that involves routine

its hard to go shopping for long (better to nip out without baby (leave with someone you trust))

other babies cries can trigger your milk let down

i have nothing positive to say EXCEPT I KNOW ITS THE BEST THING FOR MY BABY AND THATS WHY I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sorry, harsh but true!!!

That even GREAT latches REALLY hurt your nips for the first few weeks. Let down can be uncomfy at first. HV will tell you that BF shouldn't hurt if you are doing it right. Don't believe them. My DS 2 was putting on a POUND a week for the first few weeks, when my nips were killing me still. Don;t try teling me HE wasn't latched properly.

Stick to it. It definitely gets easier.

You should drink LOTS of extra water a day. You will get to know how much is enough for you. It was PINTS for me, but it took me a few weeks to realise this. When I did I was producing milk like a hosepipe! To start with I thought that perhaps one glass of water a day more would be enough. IT wasn;t.

Eat lots of PROTEIN. This makes the feeds more satisfying for the baby. Also think how much protein they need to grow that fast. ( I really noticed the difference, when I missed a shepherds pie day)

When the baby is going through a growth spurt and you think that you don't have enough milk and are temped to top up witha bottle , DON'T, just feed more often and you will catch up. You may have to feed LOTS more during these spells. ( Does your head in a bit, but think how much better it si for your child than a bottle)

Nipple shilds are shit.

It isn't always easy to feed lying down. I never could.

The most important piece of advice I can think of is look at all the tips/ advice and then do what works for YOU AND YOUR BABY!!!!!

That if your not going to buy bottles or express, which I didn't/couldn't, and you have a hungry baby, mine would feed for about half an hour and be hungry again after 45 mins. Then you don't get an awful lot of time to do anything else.

Also before you sit down make sure you have food, drink (made me very thirsty) and most importantly... The tv remote :)

And if it doesn't work no shame...

There is a difference between excruciating and uncomfortable. Excruciating means something is wrong (even if they tell you it isn't - probably tongue-tie) uncomfortable means you are probably nearly there and just needing a bit of adjustment/getting used to it.

Feeding every hour is not unusual. Anything goes really when it comes to bf feeding times. Needs to be baby-led.

Read Politics of Breastfeeding - its an eye-opener.

Ooooohhh Mastitis. BLOODY hurts. If you get a tender red patch somehwere on your boob( not just the sore cracked nips you should expect) you've likely got it. Go STRAIGHT to your GP and get antibiotics, otherwise you could get flu like symptoms and feel like total shit. It will go in a few days with AB. I got it a few times. After the first few times my GP would let me self diagnose over the phone and just leave the tablets for me to pick up. Your milk supply may be affected by the ABs but don't give up. Just keep feeding. Feeding actually helps to clear the blocked duct, and makes it get better quickly.

That if your milk is slow coming in and you end up topping up with formula at first YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! I cried loads but ended up exclusively breastfeeding once the milk came in and, at nine months, DS is still breastfed.

Even if you have topped up with formula you can work up to exclusively BFing.

That what others perceive as their own experience does not have to be a general truth. Anything to do with timing and frequency is individual. What seems to work for one person does not overturn the research on 1000s :)

That it is HARD to begin with! But persevere, and after 8 weeks or so, you'll (hopefully) have it totally cracked and can be one of those smug serene nursing mums!