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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

To just hate breastfeeding?

160 replies

SpaghettiTwirlerAndProud · 16/11/2011 23:00

This is NOT an anti breastfeeding thread. Ok?

DD is 5 months old tomorrow, and quite frankly, I have had ENOUGH! I hate breastfeeding now, I hate that i'm constantly in demand 24-7, that when she's upset she only wants me as I have what she wants and no-one else does, also that no-one else can have her for a couple of hours as she won't take a bottle and is so clingy as she's been with me non-stop for 22 weeks.

I've had enough and want to stop so much :( but as she refuses bottles I don't know what else I can do! It was great at the beginning but over the past few weeks I've started to dread it when she's hungry as I know she'll feed on and off for about an hour and I won't get anything done! She's too clingy and I think this is because of the bfing, because of all the time we spend together. She'd be perfectly happy if she could be in my arms all day every day including nights.

Did anyone else ever feel like this? :(

OP posts:
DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 16/11/2011 23:05

YANBU I knew I hated BF within days of DS birth. He liked it I didn't so I stopped. Did I feel guilty? hell yes but think I'd be a basket case by now if I'd perservered with it. You've gone at it for 5 months despite not enjoying it so good for you.

Wish I could offer some advice but I can't, I'm sorry. hopefully someone else can. But please dont feel sad about it or guilty- BF isn't the be all and end all of parenting. Lets face it, the feeding of your child in the first year of their life is such a small part of parenting them throughout their childhood.

troisgarcons · 16/11/2011 23:05

Dont do it - its not compulsory.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:06

Good God she is a BABY - what do you want from her? To toddle off and not miss you? I'm sorry but you are probably making the poor wee baby so anxious if this is how you feel and turning something that is so comforting and nourishing to her into something distressing.

She is a baby, you are the adult. It is hard yes, but you are distressing her.

Minus273 · 16/11/2011 23:08

You must be exhausted :(, poor thing.

I don't know if you have tried this but if you feel you want to move onto bottles it doesn't usually work if you give her the bottle as she sees you as a source of milk. You need to go out and someone else try her with a bottle, can take a few attempts. Have you spoken to your health visitor? She should be able to offer support.

MollyintheMoon · 16/11/2011 23:08

I did feel it a little bit but on the whole I enjoyed bf. I also found that as soon as I started weaning she wanted bf less and less and would also accept a bottle.

It is natural to feel trapped but things will improve I promise. Smile

Minus273 · 16/11/2011 23:09

That's not very helpful running, in fact not very nice way to speak to someone who appears to be very upset.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:10

I know my previous post seems harsh but I am not going to mollycoddle you - I'm sure you'll get plenty of PC mollycoddling on here as it is but I won't be one of them. Having a little baby is hard, bf is hard, you have done so well so far, she obviously loves breastfeeding and snuggling to you - she is only a baby - she needs you

MollyintheMoon · 16/11/2011 23:10

Also, when you offer the bottle, put the teat right next to your nipple so that she's in a bf position IYSWIM.

Annpan88 · 16/11/2011 23:10

I'm so sorry you feel so down :(

What helped me get through this stage (I didn't hate it as much but felt quote trapped and restricted) was thinking that its such a short stage of their lives, oine day they'll be 20 and have no desire to lay in our arms for hours and I'm sure I'll miss it.

I also tried thinking of it as and hour 'off' where I could just sit down with a cup of tea.

Soon she won't be feeding that much and she will take a bottle, they all do. Go out of the house, not to far and leave her with your partner or whoever and when she's hungry she'll take it (I also found DS more willing to take a botlle before the bedtime feed)

And don't feel bad for feeling down, its hard work and.a lot of responsibility for one person.

If any of this sounds patronsing I don't mean it to, sometimes it can on mn

Kayano · 16/11/2011 23:10

Really can't see where the OP said her LO was distressed running wilde?

Just that the op found it too much?

pigletmania · 16/11/2011 23:11

Well don't do it anymore, or express so that she will get used to a bottle. Running thats not very helpful at all!

madmomma · 16/11/2011 23:11

YANBU. Breastfeeding can be lovely when it's what you want to do, but when it's not it really sucks. (geddit?)

Strumpypumpy · 16/11/2011 23:11

You know what chick, you have done 5 months. If you had only reached day 10 I'd stay no! Stick with it. But it's your decision. But I stopped bf my DD at 5 months. And I didn't regret it, but man was it a pita. Bf was so much more convenient and don't forget solids are coming up in a few weeks. In a month her first meal could be Christmas Dinner!! It will get easier Smile. but if you want to reduce then go for a cup. Don't bother with bottles. My DD hardly had bottles, I never expressed, she had the odd formula feed. Then I bought an Anywayupcup from Sainsburys I think. Put the milk in and sat her on her beanbag with it. She was far better at doing it herself or with DH. She just didn't get bottles.

emsyj · 16/11/2011 23:12

It is very hard when your baby won't take a bottle and you end up not being able to leave them at all. I remember when DD was about 3 months old I tried to go to an aerobics class with a neighbour and when we drew up in the car outside I could hear her screaming from the street as she wanted a feed. I'd been out an hour. Sad

It feels endless whilst you're doing it, but it DOES end. I stopped without any problems the day after DD's first birthday and it was bloody marvellous I can tell you.

Weaning is in sight and it will get easier then. Have you tried offering a cup? DD would eventually take expressed milk from a cup.

YANBU to feel that it is relentless and exhausting and to want a break.

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:12

I'm afraid I can't offer any advice about how to get her on to bottles, but I'm sure it can be done, if you get it straight in your head and don't feel guilty.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:13

Minus- you say what you want to and I'll give MY opinion as I see fit. I am not going to be all PC to suit you. I stand by what I say. Parenting is tough and sometimes we need to be told to get a bit of a grip and put our baby first. My opinion and the OP can listen or discard it as she sees fit - entirely her choice

emsyj · 16/11/2011 23:14

"Soon she won't be feeding that much and she will take a bottle, they all do"

Um, they don't actually. And they don't need to by this age anyway - a baby of 5 months can go straight to a cup.

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:14

runningwilde - a distressed mum who is hating it is not better than a relaxed mum who cuddles their child and feeds her another way.

MrsMuddyPuddles · 16/11/2011 23:14

Some children just are velcro-babies, I'm afraid. Weaning her onto formula might not fix it. Do you have a sling so you can at least do stuff while you "hold" her?

When you say she won't take a bottle, was it you who tried to feed it to her, or someone else (with you away from the home)? Have you tried [http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/alternative-feeding.html#older any other ways to feed her]?

You may also want to talk to your HV. Good luck!

WinterIsComing · 16/11/2011 23:15

I loved it at first. So handy and saved money and all the rest. DS is now four, autistic, and I am sick of it. YANBU. If I could cut them off I would. Seriously.

He tried to have a go at a tiny little mole under my neck the other day: "Ca I ha the little one pwease?"

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:15

that's not PC - that's someone who never bf and enjoyed warmth and closeness at feeding time, not resentment. Give her a break, she;s done it for 5 months

MollyintheMoon · 16/11/2011 23:17

Winter Grin

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:17

I hate the term PC - what has Politics got to do with it? Have a bit of empathy for the mother here.

dreamingbohemian · 16/11/2011 23:18

YANBU. 5 months is really good! There's nothing wrong with switching to formula. These days go by so quickly, better to spend them happy and relaxed than miserable.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:18

Piglet - have you bf? It's not as easy as you think to just give up or express. If you don't like my opinion you are welcome to ignore it. Like the others have said, weaning is coming up which can help. If the op feels distressed about feeding then yes, her LO will pick up on it. Her LO has shown a relunctance to go to bottles so is worth sticking it out for a while longer