To just hate breastfeeding?

[SpaghettiTwirlerAndProud]

This is NOT an anti breastfeeding thread. Ok?

DD is 5 months old tomorrow, and quite frankly, I have had ENOUGH! I hate breastfeeding now, I hate that i'm constantly in demand 24-7, that when she's upset she only wants me as I have what she wants and no-one else does, also that no-one else can have her for a couple of hours as she won't take a bottle and is so clingy as she's been with me non-stop for 22 weeks.

I've had enough and want to stop so much :( but as she refuses bottles I don't know what else I can do! It was great at the beginning but over the past few weeks I've started to dread it when she's hungry as I know she'll feed on and off for about an hour and I won't get anything done! She's too clingy and I think this is because of the bfing, because of all the time we spend together. She'd be perfectly happy if she could be in my arms all day every day including nights.

Did anyone else ever feel like this? :(

FWIW I don't think bfing has any bearing on clinginess as such although I know it can be annoying when you're the only one who can feed the baby. Out of a large group of friends who have babies of a similar age as my DS, some of the most clingy ones are the ff ones. DS (10 months) is still bf and isn't the least bit clingy, in fact I had to pull him off a woman at baby group yesterday as he was trying to climb onto her lap!

Your DD will be weaning in a month and her feeding habits will change a lot. Could you hang on till then and try to introduce a cup? Or perhaps try slowly introducing a cup now so that you're not trying to introduce too much at once?

Apart from that I can only echo what others have said - well done for getting this far, stop if you feel like it and try to get someone else to give her the bottles if you can. DS will happily take a bottle from my DH but absolutely refuses when I try!

You'll prob be weaning her soon and she may drop off her demand, DD was down to 3 feeds a day within the first month. If you feel that BF is the best thing perhaps stick it for another month and see what happens at weaning? You've done so well. Have you tried expressing? I can't offer help with bottles, DD is 16 months and has always refused them.

YANBU... If you want to stop BF don't feel pressurised into continuing by nasty people trying to make you feel guilty or that you're some kind of bad mother. Good luck

OP, I felt the same as you when DD was 5 months - it's a tough phase. The sleepless nights were really catching up with me, and I was desperate to give her solids as I thought it would cut down on breastfeeds and help her sleep through. DD refused bottles so I introduced a beaker (not sure if that is what other posters mean by a cup?) and she started having cartons of formula when we were out of the house and if I ever went out and left her with DH. She still enthusiastically breastfed at all other times but I did manage to have the odd afternoon/evening away from her.

DD was and is super clingy to me. It's hard (hard for my DH as well) - but it's getting better all the time. I am back at work part time now and she has lovely days without me. It has taken till she was well over 12 months for this to improve but it has improved!

Meant to say - formula got me through this rough patch, she then went onto beakers of normal cows milk at about 12 months - but she still has about 4 bfs a day at 18 months!

BTW, I don't think clinginess is related. DD was a typical baby in that yes, she wanted to be held all the time, but again weaning and the advent of movement a month or so later helped. I found a good sling meant she got what she needed and I had freedom. She is now the least clingy little thing you can imagine...I have to pin her down for a cuddle!

I felt like this too, OP. When my baby was newborn, I used to dread feeds and often cried through them (other issues involved too). At 6wks I was ready to give up, but actually manged to go on till 10months, and ended bfing in a nice way.

Just wanted to second the idea that it gets a lot easier after 6months and weaning. By 7.5 or 8 months I was down to two feeds a day which changes everything - you can do all the feeds at home, so you can wear normal bras and clothes, it's like a new lease of life!

However, you decide to switch to formula it's fine! Your DD could have it from a doidy cup. And it's not poison you know!

I suspect this post will get lost in the debate, but I think the bf nazis are missing one point. BF is one of the easiest parenting skills, when it comes naturally and easily to you, but it doesn't happen that way for everyone. There are so many more important parenting skills that take much more effort, like playing with your baby, providing stimulation, lovely fun experiences, teaching your baby about the world.

Give your baby formula if you want to and focus on feeling good about those other things you are doing well. Good luck

Who are you calling a bf nazi on this thread, AnnaKissed?

Maybe it would help to make some changes to the way you BF offer the next few weeks? My kids are older now and believe it or not you cant tell the difference between the one I fed for 18 months and the one only 15, the one i babysigned with and the one i didn't...the list goes on!

I bfed dd totally on demand and ending up feeling like you do and gave up when first pg with ds, I then was a bit more routined when I fed him. Of course he was a NSC, so more used to waiting anyway! He had to wait a couple of hours between feds as I was out an about with toddler dd, and I didnt drive and couldnt just stop in the middle of a bus journey or walk and feed him and control dd. I stopped bfing at night around 6 months....I cant remember exactly when, maybe just after introducing solids? This was for selfish reasons at that point I had gone 3 yrs without a full nights sleep (and it was obvious!)

Right this thread has been hijacked by some total twatwanckery. FFS the OP needed help, advice and support about feeling hemmed in and claustrophobic in her relationship with her DD NOTHING ELSE!
Oh nad for some posters you are not frank or honest or anything else you are just unfuckingbelievably rude and obnoxious.
OP you have my sympathy that feeling of no escape can be hard. I had it with DD at about the same stage and it did ease. Oh and before anyone jumps on me I BF till she was 2 and half but I did get more space as she got older.
And parenting is hard but it's not meant to drive you to the edge of your sanity.

Oh and the term "breastfeeding nazi" is beyond vile anna
HTH

OK apologies for that term, but I was trying to help the OP if you read my whole post. Just got a bit carried away because of experiences of several friends of mine with this kind of issue.

Hope this thread doesn't go the way of all the others. OP you'll get more helpful advice and less vitriol here I would think

There's been no vitriol here except your use of that term. It's been an ok thread I think!

OP, I'll let you into a secret. A lot of mums dislike breastfeeding. It's not the cloudy pink kittened cuddly love bubble that we think it's supposed to be. It's hard work, tiring, you feel like a milk machine with no freedom rather than a mum.

Some mums can work through that because of the bonuses that breastfeeding brings - nothing soothes a baby like booby, other mums decide that enough is enough at some point before a year.

If you can possibly find a way to keep going there will be benefits which aren't apparent now. However, you do have to think about yourself too.

I really don't think the clinginess is being caused by bfing. I bf and my daughter is definitely not clingy and never has been. It's more likely your daughter is picking up on your stress and trying to cling to you to reassure herself. If you do stop bfing keep giving lots of cuddles, perhaps get a sling so that you don't lose your closeness and give your daugher the reassurance she needs at this young age. Daddies can also use slings too, so I'd recommend gettiing one in a neutral colour if you choose that path.

I BF DS for 5 months. By the time I stopped I was fed up to the back teeth with it and have never regretted stopping then. Fortunately he took a bottle, reluctantly, so it was easier but tbh I was so fed up I think that I would have gone cold turkey as soon as he was eating a reasonable amount of food if he was a bottle refused. So sympathy from me.

running when you want to persuade someone to do something you can find a stick to hit them with, or use a carrot to gently coax them. A combination of the two is usually effective.

You just found the biggest emotional stick you could and used it on a vulnerable mother, dispensing with the carrot entirely until your much later posts. I sincerely hope that this is in no way indicative of how you parent your children.

OP - As others have said it's not long till weaning and you can introduce a cup at that point maybe if you could persevere a tiny bit longer.
Saying that you wouldn't have posted unless you are feeling completely drained and at the end of it. If this is the end of the BF for you then there has been some excellent advice on here for possible ways to introduce the bottle. It depends quite how far at the end of your rope you really are. Whatever you decide for Gods sake don't beat yourself up over it.

at "nothing soothes a baby like booby".

Mine were BF for 18 months and 2 years.

It was damn convenient, but I hated it . So glad I did it though.m health benefits all round and all that. Plus, it allowed me to stuff my face with a ton of chocolate every day

No vitriol? This is the third reply the poor OP got: Good God she is a BABY - what do you want from her? To toddle off and not miss you? I'm sorry but you are probably making the poor wee baby so anxious if this is how you feel and turning something that is so comforting and nourishing to her into something distressing. She is a baby, you are the adult. It is hard yes, but you are distressing her.

I'm leaving now cos this is a silly distraction and as you can see from my whole posts, I actually want Spaghetti to find helpful advice here.

this is my experience and is not meant to tell you what to do but help you think through your options and make the best decision for you.

Breastfeeding was hard work and just before we started weaning it was hard to be the sole feeder for my baby- however at 6 months we started introducing solids and milk feeds did drop- I could go out in the evening, feed her before I went out and she would be OK when I came back in so I had some freedom. It took a while to stop the night feeds but there are various things you can look at- I found OH going to settle her helped a lot as she knew he wouldn't feed her.

She took to drinking out of both a sippy cup and a doidy really well before 6 months- you could provide expressed milk or formula in either of these if you want to go out- it may help you feel less constrained if you decide you do not want to give up entirely. I think you need to congratulate yourself for getting to 5 months- a great start to your childs' life.

It doesn't have to be all or nothing- you can combination feed if that works better.,

If you decide formula is for you, don't beat yourself up about it but it is not always the easy answer.

Poor you. It can't be nice feeling like that.

My lo kind of self weaned at 9.5 months, but to begin with she had used bottles when out and about, and when daddy wanted to feed. I had expressed but never got enough unfortunately.

Maybe just start with a natural teat shape bottle (we used tommee tippee) and introduce a little at a time?

Good luck.

I hope I haven't been offensive in my posts OP, I am just trying to make sure you understand that although you believe it is the breastfeeding that is the problem, it may well just be one of the symptoms and stopping it may not stop the feelings you are having of being hemmed in by a clingy baby.

The loss of freedom is a particularly difficult part of being a mum, sometimes the reality of a baby isn't as wonderful as it's made out, people don't always talk about the tough side of things, it can be boring, repetitive, draining, and exhausting, and that can affect you emotionally. Just be sure you aren't scapegoating the breastfeeding as the culprit for your feelings now, otherwise you'll still feel the same afterwards and will have the guilt you've expressed about stopping to deal with as well.

You will know what is the right decision to make, you trust your instincts, but go into it with your eyes wide open so that you don't have any regrets.

For what it's worth, I have a fully formula fed child and a fully breastfed child, and I've seen the benefits and pitfalls of both methods, for me I would always try to breastfeed simply because I found it worked great for me (after the hellish eight weeks learning how to do it), but I would never feel guilty if I decided not to for whatever reasons because formula is certainly a good enough alternative to me.

I have no agenda in my messages, I just know what it's like to think something will solve the problem and then finding I was wrong and still feeling the same way, one of the biggest learning curves for me was that often it was my own expectations making the experience difficult and that it was usually me who had to adjust my thinking rather than anything else.

I hope things work out for you OP and that you feel less stressed soon.

Awwww OP bf is supposed to be enjoyable; if you're not enjoying it, give it up. It's not compulsory, and if you're drained and upset by it then that's the fastest way to resentment.

Great call there running nice one. Seriously. Sadly OP, you'll always find someone like that poster on these types of threads.

Your baby, your choice. I hope whatever you decide gives you peace x