To just hate breastfeeding?

[SpaghettiTwirlerAndProud]

This is NOT an anti breastfeeding thread. Ok?

DD is 5 months old tomorrow, and quite frankly, I have had ENOUGH! I hate breastfeeding now, I hate that i'm constantly in demand 24-7, that when she's upset she only wants me as I have what she wants and no-one else does, also that no-one else can have her for a couple of hours as she won't take a bottle and is so clingy as she's been with me non-stop for 22 weeks.

I've had enough and want to stop so much :( but as she refuses bottles I don't know what else I can do! It was great at the beginning but over the past few weeks I've started to dread it when she's hungry as I know she'll feed on and off for about an hour and I won't get anything done! She's too clingy and I think this is because of the bfing, because of all the time we spend together. She'd be perfectly happy if she could be in my arms all day every day including nights.

Did anyone else ever feel like this? :(

mamalou I can promise you, you don't have a clingy baby because you've not left her to cry. High needs babies really, really suffer from being left to cry and they need their parents to respond to them, just as you are.

It doesn't have to be all about the mother, or the breast though, even though the babies may want it to be just that.

If you've not discovered him, you may find Dr Sears' work very supportive and helpful of your choice of parenting style. He has a website (www.askdrsears.com) and some great books.

I do need to point out that the OP is NOT saying that she's getting angry with her baby, or taking it out on her. :)

Mamalou - I completely agree with Organic. You wait until she's older, and you'll see the benefits of being as responsive as you have been.

Glad you are so amused spaghetti - that amuses me

Mamalou - sounds like you are doing a really amazing job!

running - you really are a piece of work

Thanks. Anger is unbecoming though so best calm down a little. Other people's opinions don't rile me, don't let them rile you either.

Mamalou, I don't think your baby is clingy from bf - the bf is more likely to make her feel more secure!

Spaghetti, glad you are feeling a bit better.

I am currently breastfeeding my little boy, now just over 2 years, but I do remember this 5 month patch as being really hard work. I was determined to make it to 26 weeks for weaning, but weeks 24 - 26 I was more or less counting down the days to beginning solids.

There have been times I have felt restricted by bf, felt that 'grind' of always being the one to do the night time feeds and sometimes felt that itchy, restless feeling when sitting down, unable to get up.

Yet I am also very passionate about bf, have trained as a peer-supporter and currently volunteer in a maternity ward.

So even in those who 'love' it, there are also flashes of frustration and 'hate'.

My top tip is to try to make it enjoyable. Change where you do it in the house, listen to some music, make phonecalls, watch tv, use the computer or read a book.

Patronise away. Before I hide this thread I like to say that IME, the mark of a good parent is not just how they feed their baby but how they respond to their children as they get older. Judging by your behaviour on this thread towards someone who is feeling vulnerable and conflicted, and towards people who happen not to agree with you, then I guess you'll struggle a bit when your child needs a listening ear and not a judgement.

Other people manage to be advocates for breastfeeding without making it into a sort of sign of martyrdom

If thatbwas meant to make me insecure about my parenting then you failed darling!

Double lol

I found 15 months a hard age too for many things including bf. Dd is two and does not want to stop! She loves her mummy milk. It is one of the best, yet hardest things I have ever done. My son stopped just before he was two, his choice, but dd is showing no signs yet.

Fifteen months of bf is amazing - hopefully your LO will take a cup now?

I wouldn't know either secondcoming! I am ok with feeding my dd still but if she is still feeding in a year's time... Im not sure.

Oh dear, hope tomorrow is brighter for you!

running - Nope - wouldn't dream it would make you insecure - you don't seem that kind of person, tbh. Just keep telling yourself of how fab you are because of the fact you managed to breastfeed. That'll get you through with when parenting becomes a bit more complicated.

Shall we come back in a years time to "tell it to you like it is" if you want to give up breastfeeding?

running, please, you may find this kind of thing an amusing way to pass your day but it does nothing for breastfeeding advocacy, or attachment parenting.

Please remember that there are real people behind these words that you are writing back to. Perhaps consider only saying things that you'd say within a group of people in a room that you'd not met before, and whose hurt you can see when you say the things that you are saying.

branchingout I am totally with you there. I spend a great deal of time trying to support mums who want to BF, and am passionate about BFing. But sometimes it drives me nuts and I hate it (Bfing high needs DS2 1 1/2 yrs and pregnant - ouch). I think it makes you a better BFing supporter though, don't you? When you understand that it's not all sweetness and light, all the time?

Whilst I agree with the posters who have said that stopping bf won't necessarily solve the clinginess, I think the point is that if the OP's DD would take a cup or a bottle, the OP could get a break from that clinginess and have a few hours when she doesn't have a baby clinging to her (yeah, I know that sounds harsh, but I'm not applying for any parenting awards so I'll be honest).

OP- I would persevere with cup or bottle using expressed milk. If you can sort it, then the pay off for you could be huge.

LOL reallife who IS going for parenting awards .

And I agree with what you say - spag have you got some tips about this yet? Sorry, no time to read through thread right now.

Erm tbh carrot I'm not sure I feel like I'm drowning in replies there's that many to trawl through! I need to sit down with the computer when I get chance and go through them all.

Agree with reallife try to establish cup feeding, it sounds from your post that having a few hours to yourself is what you would like. It's hard having a clingy baby

I am fab for many many reasons Getawaybitch - why thank you for recognising that. But please calm your anger as it is doing you no good.

Organic - what is amusing is how some people come on here to attack others for offering an opinion.

OK spag, I'll let you do that then and get back if you need some ideas there! If you can find your way through the trolling - not something we normally suffer from in this room. Hey ho. Probably followed in from AIBU, not realising that we're now in the polite and supportive room, not the anything-goes room.

:o

Probably won't get chance to get on laptop till monday, we have a busy weekend ahead!

Talk to you all later, thank you all so much for your advice (what I've read so far!) have a good weekend all :)

:)