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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

To just hate breastfeeding?

160 replies

SpaghettiTwirlerAndProud · 16/11/2011 23:00

This is NOT an anti breastfeeding thread. Ok?

DD is 5 months old tomorrow, and quite frankly, I have had ENOUGH! I hate breastfeeding now, I hate that i'm constantly in demand 24-7, that when she's upset she only wants me as I have what she wants and no-one else does, also that no-one else can have her for a couple of hours as she won't take a bottle and is so clingy as she's been with me non-stop for 22 weeks.

I've had enough and want to stop so much :( but as she refuses bottles I don't know what else I can do! It was great at the beginning but over the past few weeks I've started to dread it when she's hungry as I know she'll feed on and off for about an hour and I won't get anything done! She's too clingy and I think this is because of the bfing, because of all the time we spend together. She'd be perfectly happy if she could be in my arms all day every day including nights.

Did anyone else ever feel like this? :(

OP posts:
Kayano · 16/11/2011 23:18

I hate it too Jamie esp when used to just be nasty and unhelpful and make shit up invent things that did not appear in the OP like the baby being 'distressed' Hmm

Minus273 · 16/11/2011 23:19

Yes parenting is tough so when it gets you down you need moral support. Not someone getting on their moral high horse and being judgemental. OP just wants some help, at no point has she suggested leaving her baby alone or not feeding her.

GrownUpSparkler · 16/11/2011 23:20

It doesn't really get any easier, they want you all the time when they are 5 months or 5 years, it's part of being a mother. I think you are focusing on the breast feeding, but stopping doesn't guarantee that she will be any less clingy with you, you are the source of her security and well-being, so wanting to be with you is a natural thing for her.

Make feeding more bearable for yourself, I either watched my favourite programmes or read a book, and I learned to feed lying down so I could use feed time to catch up on rest. I know it's frustrating sometimes to not get time to yourself, but it's only a short period of their lives, and you can either spend it seething with resentment, or get your head down and focus on getting through the tough stuff and enjoying the rest.

If you hate breastfeeding too much to carry on, then stop, but it might not be the solution to your problem.

WinterIsComing · 16/11/2011 23:20

Thanks for the wine Molly Grin

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:25

Many are saying move to formula and that is your choice but like some others have said, maybe you are focusing on the bf being the problem too much. Formula is fine but does not compare to breastmilk in any way. You have done so well to bf though considering you don't like it much so you should feel good about that!

Daisy1986 · 16/11/2011 23:26

I personally found the first month and the 5th month the hardest. Feeds have probably increased because she is hungrier and getting ready for solids as well as teething and shes probably using you as a dummy. Once you start introducing solids then it gets ALOT easier. If you can persevere just a little longer it will get better but if not you have done a great job :)

On the clingy side of things this is more likely to be to do with separation anxiety rather then anything to do with breastfeeding she has just realized that shes not attached to you anymore.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:26

Grownupsparkler has said it alll really well!

stickyLFDTfingers · 16/11/2011 23:26

spaghetti have you tried formula in the bottle or only expressed milk? My DD1 wouldn't take expressed from a bottle, but would take formula (she had a sort of logic there!).

Of course do what's best for the two of you.

Annpan88 · 16/11/2011 23:26

emsyj I suppose I meant something other than boob. Ever so sorry

cerealqueen · 16/11/2011 23:27

YANBU - but you don't have to carry on past 6 months. Have you tried a cup? Once she is weaned life should be easier as there other means of her getting the nutrients that milk gives.
You've done really well, despite not liking it.

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:27

Yes, she has done well, and she may be focussing on the BF. She doesn't know if switching will solveeverything but I don't think it's an unreasonable risk to take given that

a) continuing will make her unhappy and
b) no harm will come to the baby from formula

cheeseandmarmitesandwich · 16/11/2011 23:27

She will be on solids soon and then it will get much easier! Eventually...

Why do you hate it so much? It is easy to assume bottles are easier, but in reality you would still be the one making up bottles in the night and forever washing/sterilising them. And at least you don't need 2 hands for BF and can Mumsnet at the same time (as I am right now!)

I switched to formula at 5 months with DD1 for various reasons, but it certainly didn't make life any easier. Now here I am still BF 17 month old DD2!

I know how tough it is with a baby who won't be put down though. Well done for getting this far!

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:27

And daisy too - good points well said!

PumpkinIroning · 16/11/2011 23:27

OP,if you're not enjoying bf,nor is DD. Switch to bottles,without guilt. I had to hunt around for the right teat,but it was so much easier for someone else to be able to feed the baby.

pigletmania · 16/11/2011 23:29

running the op has done well so far and its up to her if she does not want to continue, if it makes her that unhappy than she should. Yes if I were her I would continue until weaning as it might help, but at the end of the day its up to the op. Its not just baby being clingy, that is normal she is only a baby, mabey there are other reasons as to why op wants to not continue bf. Yes in time the baby will get used to a different mode of feeding, other posters have come up with some useful suggestions.

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:30

When you are bf, other people can feed the baby. If you are feeling pressurised or not getting enough sleep then that's a big deal

JamieComeHome · 16/11/2011 23:30

sorry, ff

Stay123 · 16/11/2011 23:33

Switch to formula and please don't feel guilty. Plenty of mums formula feed and their children are all as healthy as those that aren't in my experience. Happy mummy = happy baby.

banana87 · 16/11/2011 23:35

I personally would be loving the fact that my baby was so dependent on me for comfort and food BUT I know how overwhelming it can be at times. Hope you figure out a solution soon op.

pigletmania · 16/11/2011 23:36

The op has given her baby a good start, if she should not feel guilty or made to do something that she does not feel happy doing. Switching to formula is not necessarily easy, expensive, sterilising bottles, but baby can be left with other people so that op can have a break.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:39

I'm afraid I don't agree pumkinironing. Just because the op is not liking bf so much at the mo, doesn't mean her LO isn't. Babies get a lot of comfort from bf - and it soothes them a lot when they are teething. Pigletmania - guess what, I am giving my opinion and it's different of yours. I have bf two children and have seen the comfort it gave them as well as the nourishment. People are so easily dismissive of how important bf is - that's just my opinion too. Good luck op whatever you decide to do. Just remember that like others have said, once you wean if does get easier if you decide to carry on and there are still numerous health be benefits in doing so. Good luck with your decision! Night!

GrownUpSparkler · 16/11/2011 23:40

The transition from breastfeeding to bottle feeding can be quite difficult sometimes, it took me a very long time to get my DD to accept bottles at all, she was fourteen months old before she finally took one, and I had been trying to introduce the bottle from quite young.

Just make sure that you are looking at things rationally, giving up might not make things any easier initially, there's still stress involved there, and this anxiety and clinginess might be temporary, or have roots in solvable or time limited problems, perhaps in relation to teething or a growth spurt.

BadDayAtTheOrifice · 16/11/2011 23:43

YANBU to feel fed up with the breastfeeding and the restrictions it brings. At times I often felt suffocated and annoyed that it always had to be me. I so desperately wanted a break.
What kept me going at about the 5 month stage was 1) weaning (when my oldest DD was born the recommendation was for 4 months and she was ready. 2) the aternative was to wash, sterilise and make up formula which seemed like more work for me (I am very lazy) 3)breastfeeding at night on my side was the only way I ever got any sleep at night 4) me or partner wearing a sling. (she just wanted the constant company, whoever it was) $) We we're fucking skint and couldn't afford formula.

5 months is great work, you've done so well. Stop if you want, but just consider what the alternative will mean for you.

runningwilde · 16/11/2011 23:44

Seeing the 'happy mum, happy baby' phase being trotted out again reminded me of something another poster said in another thread... Replayed here:

otchayaniye Sat 05-Nov-11 13:51:20u
'happy mum, happy baby' is the biggest mound of self-justifying horseshit i've ever come across.

it's not a binary issue.

pigletmania · 16/11/2011 23:47

running no need to be aggressive with your opinions, actually you do sound very militant, not what the op needs right now if she is feeling down, or depressed tbh. Whether I have bf or not has nothing to do with it, I can still have an opinion. Yes we all know the benefits of bf, but each situation is different and if op is not liking it or unhappy than she should not be forced to continue.